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D-LINK
Oct 1, 2007

I was talking to peachy Peach about kissy Kiss. He bought me a soda.

No Butt Stuff posted:

Chiefs:
OT Russell Okung, DT Stephen Paea, DT Devon Still, OT Luke Joeckel, DE Stephen Tuitt, Dorial Green-Beckham.



uh..... I think please don't listen to Kiper ever, thx.

Stephon Tuitt is a monster :tipshat:

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Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
God dammit as an actual fan of Doltos please let's not go down this path again dude

You're like me and defending Tebow

Flikken
Oct 23, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it
CB Joe Haden, WR A.J. Green, QB Robert Griffin III, WR Kendall Wright, DE Bjoern Werner, QB Blake Bortles, RB Carlos Hyde, DT Danny Shelton, OT Ereck Flowers.

No JFF or Brandon Weeden. I approve.

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

MY NIGGA D-LINK posted:

Stephon Tuitt is a monster :tipshat:

Pittsburgh Steeler. Just assumed automatic human garbage.

a patagonian cavy
Jan 12, 2009

UUA CVG 230000 KZID /RM TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE BENGALS DYNASTY


Flikken posted:

CB Joe Haden, WR A.J. Green, QB Robert Griffin III, WR Kendall Wright, DE Bjoern Werner, QB Blake Bortles, RB Carlos Hyde, DT Danny Shelton, OT Ereck Flowers.

No JFF or Brandon Weeden. I approve.

To be fair, out drafting the Browns ain't difficult

Flikken
Oct 23, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

a patagonian cavy posted:

To be fair, out drafting the Browns ain't difficult

Yeah but from 2010 till now that is something like 4 different front offices.

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

Mitch Trubisky seems to be getting the high-riser treatment that always happens before a QB gets taken top 5.

Can he succeed with such a poo poo name? The only Mitch to ever make a Pro Bowl was Mitch Berger and he was a loving punter.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Patriots get JJ Watt and DeAndre Hopkins in Kiperland, so let's go with that one.

Real Name Grover
Feb 13, 2002

Like corn on the cob
Fan of Britches

Diva Cupcake posted:

Can he succeed with such a poo poo name?

I don't think you'd be saying this if he were a 300-lb lineman :mad:

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Diva Cupcake posted:

Mitch Trubisky seems to be getting the high-riser treatment that always happens before a QB gets taken top 5.

Can he succeed with such a poo poo name? The only Mitch to ever make a Pro Bowl was Mitch Berger and he was a loving punter.

Mitch Trubisky sucks

Doltos
Dec 28, 2005

🤌🤌🤌

Diva Cupcake posted:

Mitch Trubisky seems to be getting the high-riser treatment that always happens before a QB gets taken top 5.

Can he succeed with such a poo poo name? The only Mitch to ever make a Pro Bowl was Mitch Berger and he was a loving punter.

Nope. Last name is weak as hell too. Seems like he should be playing at Boise State and thus should be a 6th round QB

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Mitch Tribusky is the most obvious first-round trap since EJ Manuel

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
So tell me about linebackers and defensive ends

swickles
Aug 21, 2006

I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know

Amy Pole Her posted:

So tell me about linebackers and defensive ends

Draft the dude with one hand. He is destined to be a HoF'er, the subject of a 30 for 30, an Academy Award nominated movie, and State Representative at least.

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

swickles posted:

Draft the dude with one hand. He is destined to be a HoF'er, the subject of a 30 for 30, an Academy Award nominated movie, and State Representative at least.

JPP redux?

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
Shaq Griffin from ucf? He owns. I'd love to see him get a shot but I think that's fairly unrealistic.

swickles
Aug 21, 2006

I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know

Naw JPP blew up his own hand in a dumb fireworks accident. The guy from UCF lost his hand at birth and is a feel good story that will replace Rudy as the best college football movie ever.

Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS

Benne posted:

Mitch Tribusky is the most obvious first-round trap since EJ Manuel
Mitch Tribusky, your 2017 Buffalo Bills starting quarterback.

No Irish Need Imply
Nov 30, 2008

Benne posted:

Mitch Tribusky is the most obvious first-round trap since EJ Manuel
EJ Manuel's coach told people not to draft him early. No one is THAT obvious anymore.

MrLogan
Feb 4, 2004

Ask me about Derek Carr's stolen MVP awards, those dastardly refs, and, oh yeah, having the absolute worst fucking gimmick in The Football Funhouse.

Benne posted:

Mitch Tribusky is the most obvious first-round trap since EJ Manuel

Uh, there have been a couple first round traps since EJ Manuel.

Still glad the Giants jumped on the Eli Apple grenade.

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002

swickles posted:

Draft the dude with one hand. He is destined to be a HoF'er, the subject of a 30 for 30, an Academy Award nominated movie, and State Representative at least.

We're Miami. He'll get a coke habit and end up shooting someone.

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

MrLogan posted:

Uh, there have been a couple first round traps since EJ Manuel.

Still glad the Giants jumped on the Eli Apple grenade.

Eli Apple has played well though?

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin
Is Peppers mobile enough to play free safety, or would he be relegated to strong safety duty if the Bears took him and put him in as the 800th different SS to be drafted in the last decade?

MrLogan
Feb 4, 2004

Ask me about Derek Carr's stolen MVP awards, those dastardly refs, and, oh yeah, having the absolute worst fucking gimmick in The Football Funhouse.

corn on the cop posted:

Eli Apple has played well though?

No, he hasn't?

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002

corn on the cop posted:

Eli Apple has played well though?

He hasn't been a disaster, but he's got a long way to go

Doltos
Dec 28, 2005

🤌🤌🤌
Eli Apple looks bad in coverage and good against the run. Stands to reason since he was raw as gently caress coming out and is quite a big person. He might have a very unique career arc of x-corner -> slot corner -> weakside lb

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Todd mcshay doing Todd mcshay things and mocking fournette to Carolina in the first round.

korrandark
Jan 5, 2009
1.) Cleveland Browns

Jonathan Allen, DE, Alabama

Let's get this out of the way: No QB in this class is worth the No. 1 pick. The Browns just need more good football players. Allen is a total game-plan wrecker along the defense front (13 tackles for loss, 15 QB hurries). Texas A&M pass-rusher Myles Garrett also figures to be in the mix here.

2.) San Francisco 49ers

Myles Garrett, DE/OLB, Texas A&M*

Considering the lack of elite QB/WR talent in this class, the 49ers would be thrilled to see Garrett fall to them at No. 2. Tied with LSU RB Leonard Fournette for my best grade in this class, Garrett is the most disruptive pass-rusher in college football, with 21 sacks and 20 QB hurries in 23 games the past two seasons.

3.) Jacksonville Jaguars

Jamal Adams, S, LSU*

Assuming he leaves school early, Adams will be one of the most complete players in this draft. He can stuff the run as an in-the-box safety, he can cover and he's a great leader to bring into your locker room. The Jaguars need to continue to invest resources in their secondary.

4.) Chicago Bears

Jabrill Peppers, S/OLB, Michigan*

The Bears are another team likely to be in the market for a QB this offseason without a good option at the top of the draft. Peppers would make sense, given Chicago's lack of difference-makers in the secondary. He's a true hybrid player, with the speed and athleticism to thrive in space and the toughness to play bigger than his 205-pound frame.

5.) Tennessee Titans (from Rams)

Marshon Lattimore, CB, Ohio State*

The Titans have the good fortune of not needing to even consider a quarterback with the pick they received in the Jared Goff trade. Lattimore could use some more game experience, but if he leaves Columbus early, CB-needy teams such as the Titans could be enticed by the natural talent he has displayed on the perimeter in his first year as a starter.

6.) New York Jets

Tim Williams, OLB, Alabama

Williams is disruptive -- if a little inconsistent -- with excellent first-step quickness off the edge. Nearly all of his tackles for loss this season came against SEC opponents (14 of the 15.5 total). A pass-rusher could very well be near the top of the Jets' needs by the time April rolls around.

7.) Carolina Panthers

Leonard Fournette, RB, LSU*

Fournette hasn't budged from the No. 1 spot in my prospect rankings all season. He is a rare talent for the position, the best college running back I've evaluated since Adrian Peterson in 2007. And though he has been hampered by an ankle injury all season, he has put up off-the-charts production when healthy. It would be great value for the Panthers if Fournette were to fall out of the top five.

8.) New Orleans Saints

Marlon Humphrey, CB, Alabama*

At 6-foot-1, 196 pounds, Humphrey has ideal size for the cornerback position. He has 27 games of experience against high-level competition in his career, racking up five interceptions and 12 pass breakups. The Saints need to continue to add pieces to their defense, particularly in the secondary.

9.) Cleveland Browns (from Eagles)

Takkarist McKinley, OLB, UCLA

Taking the versatile Jonathan Allen with the No. 1 overall pick would allow the Browns to target McKinley with the second of their first-round picks. The UCLA pass-rusher has elite speed off the edge, which has helped make him one of the biggest draft risers this season (18.0 tackles for loss 10.0 sacks in 11 games). Florida State RB Dalvin Cook could also be in the conversation here for an offense that will be looking for more home run hitters.

10.) San Diego Chargers

Mike Williams, WR, Clemson*

At 6-foot-3, Williams profiles as a legitimate No. 1 weapon at the next level. He shows an excellent ability to create late separation when the ball is in the air, scoring 10 touchdowns this season. Coming off a scary neck injury to open the 2015 campaign, Williams has done it all for the Tigers in his return to the field.

11.) Arizona Cardinals

Reuben Foster, ILB, Alabama

A tackling machine who flies to the ball, Foster shows a good combination of agility and speed for a 240-pounder. He's one of the 10 best players in this class, but positional value could cause him to slip a little bit. QB is also a possibility for Arizona, given Carson Palmer's age (37) and declining play.

12.) Cincinnati Bengals

Derek Barnett, DE, Tennessee*

Barnett's production was outstanding in his first two seasons at Tennessee, but he has taken it to another level in 2016 with an SEC-leading 12.0 sacks. He has good size (6-3, 265) and agility and a consistent motor. The Bengals need more speed at defensive end and linebacker.

13.) Indianapolis Colts

Cam Robinson, OT, Alabama*

Andrew Luck has been constantly under siege behind an offensive line that is still searching for answers. So whether it's in the first round or in free agency, the Colts need to devote resources to protect Luck and improve the run game. Robinson isn't an elite pass-blocker, but he's a plug-and-play right tackle who can develop at the next level.

14.) Buffalo Bills

Ryan Ramczyk, OT, Wisconsin

Ramczyk has just one year of full-time starting experience at the FBS level after transferring from UW-Stevens Points (Division III), but he's loaded with talent. With a long and sturdy frame (6-6, 314), he's very effective in pass protection and as a run-blocker. Cornerback and wide receiver could also be options for the Bills.

15.) Baltimore Ravens

Charles Harris, DE, Missouri*

A twitchy athlete off the edge, Harris led the SEC with 18.5 tackles for loss in 2015 and finished this season with 5.5 sacks and six QB hurries in his final four games. He has tons of raw ability as a pass-rusher, and Baltimore needs to continue to add youth off the edge with Terrell Suggs turning 35 next season.

16.) Miami Dolphins

O.J. Howard, TE, Alabama

Lucky for teams like the Dolphins who have a need at the position, this is a loaded class with tight ends at the top. Howard, Michigan's Jake Butt and Virginia Tech's Bucky Hodges all look like top-40 picks. Howard's size-speed combination gives him a lot of upside, but his production has been streaky in Alabama's run-heavy offense.

17.) Tennessee Titans

John Ross, WR, Washington*

Ross has always had great speed, but he improved his route running this year and saw immediate dividends with a 17-touchdown season. If he runs as fast as expected at the NFL combine, he could very well be a first-rounder.

18.) Philadelphia Eagles (from Vikings)

Teez Tabor, CB, Florida*

Tabor has terrific ball skills, with four interceptions, five pass breakups and a defensive TD in 11 games this season -- and that comes on the heels of a 2015 season in which he had four interceptions and 14 pass breakups. Tabor's natural anticipation skills would fill a big need for the Eagles.

19.) Houston Texans

Carl Lawson, OLB, Auburn*

Not many pass-rushers in this class can match Lawson's combination of production, upside and intangibles. He's a film junkie who posted an astounding 24 QB hurries and nine sacks this season. Plus, he's an elite run defender. Lawson's medical reports will be critical; he endured back-to-back injury-plagued seasons in 2014 and 2015.

20.) Green Bay Packers

Dalvin Cook, RB, Florida State*

Yes, I know GM Ted Thompson has never drafted a running back this high, but there's no doubt the Packers need more explosive playmakers like Cook, who ranks tied for second among all Power 5 RBs this season with 15 touches of 25 yards or more. It would be good value to get a top-10 player at this stage of the first round.

21.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Malik McDowell, DT, Michigan State*

McDowell has supreme talent, and he can be a menace as an inside rusher when he's locked in. But McDowell could fall a bit, because he's not the consistent grinder that typically comes out of Michigan State. Tampa will be in the market for more pass-rushers.

22). Washington Redskins

JuJu Smith-Schuster, WR, USC*

Watching Smith-Schuster's tape, it's clear that he loves the game and works hard. He's not a burner by any stretch, but his good size (6-2, 220), ball skills and toughness will keep him in the first-round mix for teams with a need at the position, such as Washington, which could lose Pierre Garcon and DeSean Jackson to free agency.

23). Denver Broncos

Caleb Brantley, DT, Florida*

Brantley can be a load to handle in the run game, as he showed in back-to-back games this season against LSU and Florida State (five tackles for loss). His combination of quickness and functional strength would make him a good fit for the Broncos, who will be looking for help along the D-line this offseason.

24). Detroit Lions

Jarrad Davis, LB, Florida

Davis finds so many ways to affect a game. He makes plays in the backfield (six tackles for loss and five QB hurries) and is athletic enough to hold up in coverage. Davis' game is similar to that of Bucs OLB Kwon Alexander because of his excellent range and a relentless motor.

25.) New York Giants

D'Onta Foreman, RB, Texas*

Foreman is one of the most underrated prospects in this class. You can tell by looking at him that he's a load to bring down (6-1, 249), but what makes him special are his quick feet. Foreman, who led the FBS in rushing this season with 2,028 yards, also has some ability as a blocker and pass-catcher.

26.) Pittsburgh Steelers

Taco Charlton, DE, Michigan

If you were watching the Michigan-Ohio State game, you might've noticed Charlton's game-wrecking ability (2.5 sacks). He was Michigan's best pass-rusher this season (nine sacks in 10 games). He has the versatility to convert to a 3-4 OLB in the Steelers' base defense. Jarvis Jones and James Harrison are both set to be free agents.

27.) Atlanta Falcons

Quincy Wilson, CB, Florida*

I haven't done as much tape on Wilson as I have on his teammate Teez Tabor, but some scouts I've talked to think Wilson's ceiling is higher. At 6-foot-1, he has a good length/speed combination, and he's experienced, with 38 games played, including 23 starts. The Falcons need to find a way to bolster their secondary and defensive line.

28.) Oakland Raiders

Jourdan Lewis, CB, Michigan

Lewis has some size limitations (5-11, 186), which makes him a bit of a reach here, but he's the best pure cover corner in college football. He had two interceptions and 10 pass breakups, despite opponents often shying away from throwing to his side of the field. The Raiders' secondary has been an issue this season as they continue to rebuild the defense.

29.) Seattle Seahawks

Mike McGlinchey, OT, Notre Dame*

McGlinchey has held firm that he's likely to return to school, but for now he's eligible. While he'd benefit from one more year of physical development and technique work, an OT-needy team such as the Seahawks would give McGlinchey a long look because of his length and upside if he decided to leave early.

30.) Kansas City Chiefs

Mitch Trubisky, QB, North Carolina*

Inside linebacker and safety will be bigger needs, but everyone knows how much Andy Reid likes to draft quarterbacks. Trubisky has some red flags as a prospect, including just 12 college starts to his name, but the opportunity to draft a quarterback to sit and develop behind Alex Smith could entice the Chiefs' front office. Trubisky has shown impressive accuracy (68.9 completion percentage) and an ability to limit mistakes (only four turnovers all season).

31.) Dallas Cowboys

Solomon Thomas, DE, Stanford

The Cowboys will be in the market for defensive line help this offseason; I'm just not sure who will be available this late in the first round. Thomas has good size (6-3, 273) and strength, he's stout against the run and he rushes the QB with quickness and power (13 tackles for loss, seven sacks and seven QB hurries).

32.) New England Patriots

Christian McCaffrey, RB, Stanford*

Bill Belichick and Tom Brady would have fun figuring out creative ways to utilize McCaffrey's versatile skill set. He's a true threat in both the run and pass game, finishing his college career with nearly 4,000 rushing yards and 1,206 receiving yards. He has a rare combination of vision, lateral agility and acceleration, which shows up in the return game, too.

Spintzel
Dec 31, 2007

Distractions makes it better when ya take up the ENTIRE ROAD

FizFashizzle posted:

Todd mcshay doing Todd mcshay things and mocking fournette to Carolina in the first round.

Please no I can't deal with a Fournette and Newton duo

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky
mccaffrey to the patriots is so patriot way that it's absolutely going to happen

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I was gonna say that it'd be likely Belichick would trade down if the bpa at that point was a running back but I just googled McCaffrey and nevermind.

Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
both Kiper and McShay mocks have the Chiefs taking a QB in the 1st, Watson and Trubisky...i love that, i love it, I hope it happens

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

Kalli posted:

I was gonna say that it'd be likely Belichick would trade down if the bpa at that point was a running back but I just googled McCaffrey and nevermind.

you mean you saw that he was a scrappy white guy?


Porn on VHS posted:

both Kiper and McShay mocks have the Chiefs taking a QB in the 1st, Watson and Trubisky...i love that, i love it, I hope it happens


you know it's not going to happen.

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky
The Giants don't have a lot of needs but the needs they do have are significant. I'd rather they shoot for one of the big tight ends. They need to jettison the gently caress out of Flowers too but I'd rather not reach on another tackle.

I'll just pretend that we drafted Landon Collins at #9.

korrandark
Jan 5, 2009

No Butt Stuff posted:

you mean you saw that he was a scrappy white guy?




Christian McCaffery isn't a scrappy white guy.

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky
If you thought Danny Woodhead was popular in New England, just wait for the Caff

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin

corn on the cop posted:

mccaffrey to the patriots is so patriot way that it's absolutely going to happen

yeah its incredibly perfect and needs to happen at this point

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

korrandark posted:

Christian McCaffery isn't a scrappy white guy.

6'1", 200 lbs.

Chris Hogan (a scrappy white guy) is 6'1" 220 lbs.

Yeah, he's not like Wes Welker's size, but he's not much bigger.

e: I know poo poo all about college football, so maybe we just look at "scrappy differently" or I'm a turd who only cares about college ball at draft time.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



No Butt Stuff posted:

6'1", 200 lbs.

Chris Hogan (a scrappy white guy) is 6'1" 220 lbs.

Yeah, he's not like Wes Welker's size, but he's not much bigger.

e: I know poo poo all about college football, so maybe we just look at "scrappy differently" or I'm a turd who only cares about college ball at draft time.

Stop, stop, I'm getting the vapors.

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FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







A white guy with deceptive speed, toughness, a high football iq who can create matchup problems all over the field.

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