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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Draft Thread 2017 - Oil up my Head Edition
 
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
I don't know that the Bengals have a specific gaping need but I feel like we're probably going to be picking just outside of the top 10 (or just inside it potentially) and as such I'm interested to learn about impact players who would operate well in the 4-3, specifically at MLB or DE opposite Carlos Dunlap. Daltos or others, any insight?

* # ¿ Nov 21, 2016 15:44
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# ¿ May 2, 2024 19:16
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet

Benne posted:

I have a feeling Kizer will shoot up to No. 1 after the Combine even though I'm not totally sold on him at this point.

This is a given. Remember how Jared Goff was a pro-ready prospect according to talking heads? It's in the NFL and the media's best interest for a QB to go #1

* # ¿ Dec 26, 2016 22:27
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
The Chargers are not taking a guard with the seventh overall pick. This mock draft (and indeed all mock drafts) belongs in a trash can with trash

* # ¿ Mar 28, 2017 17:44
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
Who would have guessed, when you begin your retarded what if article with the premise of "What if this thing that absolutely will not happen under any circumstances, happens?", you wind up with a lot of dumb reaches to justify your premise. gently caress you The Ringer Mock Draft 2.0.

* # ¿ Mar 28, 2017 18:29
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
The Ringer's football writing is really bad. Sorry for the meltdown friends

* # ¿ Mar 28, 2017 18:30
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet

Diva Cupcake posted:

Bengals in on Mixon in the 2nd, according to Pauline.

https://twitter.com/MoveTheSticks/status/847127429793538048
https://twitter.com/TonyPauline/status/847181372598956032

I get that having this be the straw that breaks the camel's back on a team that employs adam jones might be kind of rich but man. gently caress this dude. I can't root for a team with Joe Mixon on it

* # ¿ Mar 30, 2017 21:28
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Who will be the next Rusty Smith of this draft?????

Post of the year Tia.

* # ¿ Apr 20, 2017 04:54
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet

Ehud posted:

https://twitter.com/flamp76/status/857611570528100352

This owns.

* # ¿ Apr 27, 2017 17:01
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet

SKULL.GIF posted:

http://www.sbnation.com/nfl-mock-draft/2017/3/29/14869968/nfl-draft-2017-best-names-jake-butt-raekwon-mcmillan

code:
QB	Gunner Kiel		Cincinnati
RB	Shock Linwood		Baylor
WR	Speedy Noil		Texas A&M
WR	Bug Howard		North Carolina
WR	Kermit Whitfield	Florida State
        who'll be the NFL's first Kermit since the '70s. Think of the memes!!!
TE	Jake Butt		Michigan
OT	Max Rich		Harvard
OT	Justin Senior		Mississippi State
        indeed a redshirt senior
OG	Forrest Lamp		Western Kentucky
OG	Damien Mama		USC
C	None have fitting names. Air Force S Weston Steelhammer will just have to bulk up.	
DE	Taco Charlton		Michigan
        who tried not to like tacos (because of his nickname), but succumbed
DE	Gimel President		Illinois
DT	Dee Liner		Arkansas State
        who is a D liner
DT	Chunky Clements		Illinois
LB	Raekwon McMillan	Ohio State
LB	Ironhead Gallon		Georgia Southern
CB	Corn Elder		Miami
        who was offered by the Cornhuskers and later had one of his best games against them
CB	Will Likely		Maryland
        who goes by William these days
S	Money Hunter		Arkansas State
S	Budda Baker		Washington
S	Fish Smithson		Kansas
K	Chris Blewitt		Pitt
P	Alex Boy		Nevada

This is like that one Mst3k bit.

SHOCK. LINWOOD. CHUNKY. CLEMENTS. DIRK. HARDPEC.

* # ¿ Apr 27, 2017 17:04
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet

SKULL.GIF posted:

http://deadspin.com/ok-the-nfl-draft-has-gone-too-far-481471464




Football owns.

* # ¿ Apr 27, 2017 18:08
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
Get that creepy gif dude in here to exhaustively analyze Kelsey Plum, who, on a side note, I immediately distrust due to the proximity of her name to the Plumlees.

* # ¿ Apr 27, 2017 18:41
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
Which Jimmy G is sexier. Male or female

* # ¿ Apr 27, 2017 18:43
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
If you could be the meat in a male/female Jimmy G sandwich, would you?

Yes. Also, would female Jimmy G be named Jenny G or Kimmy G

* # ¿ Apr 27, 2017 18:46
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
You should want Corey Davis or Mike Williams or John Ross or BPA, which I imagine will be one of the safeties by that point

* # ¿ Apr 27, 2017 18:57
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# ¿ May 2, 2024 19:16
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Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet

Lord Waffle Beard posted:

Wait the draft is today? Seahawks are gonna fleece someone and trade down and male a baller pick. Seahawks are draft geniuses

I think there's a lot of whispers that they are going to target a CB in round one to eventually replace Sherman

* # ¿ Apr 27, 2017 19:17
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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Draft Thread 2017 - Oil up my Head Edition