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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Some important notes I took on Australia
 
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Three-Phase

by zen death robot
I've been doing some independent research on Australia and wanted to share some of the more important notes I took:

  • Founded by deported people from England (and some people who came over in boats thousands of years before)
  • People will tell you "it's a prison island, hidden in the summer for a million years"
  • Ned Kelley is sort of like their Abraham Lincoln but he has a metal trash bin on his head and was a bad person
  • Sydney ISN'T the Capital.*
  • There's a guy named Neville Bartos - don't lend him money he apparently owes this one guy lots of cash
  • They drive on the wrong side of the road (sometimes in crazy custom cars while wearing leather S&M gear-like clothing)
  • People may make fun of you if you tell them you like "The Presets" (band) but it's OK because they have crazy beats
  • There's a swimming pool named after a government guy who they think drowned in the ocean (I think the Pacific)
  • All their power outlets are twice the normal voltage the rest of the civilized world uses (220V versus 110V) so be twice as careful

I hope that you are able to utilize this important information.

* - Where is the Capitol? Seriously does anyone know? Maybe it's Perth or Toowoomba?**
** - I think they have a king or something

Three-Phase fucked around with this message at 04:07 on Nov 14, 2016
* # ¿ Nov 14, 2016 03:49
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# ¿ May 10, 2024 09:04
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Three-Phase

by zen death robot
Also if you see any animal it can probably kill you. And you'll be in horrible horrible pain as you die.

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* # ¿ Nov 14, 2016 04:05
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Three-Phase

by zen death robot
Winnie blues and VB

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* # ¿ Nov 15, 2016 02:04
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Three-Phase

by zen death robot

myDad posted:

it's actually current that kills

Riptides and longshore currents

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* # ¿ Nov 15, 2016 02:28
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Three-Phase

by zen death robot
There was a jolly swagman camped at the billabong
Under the shade of the coulibar tree

BILL BRYSON'S NAUGHTY VERSION:
Forgetting that spoons stir hot liquids much better
The swagman immersed his tool in his tea
And he sighed as he spied his poor willy boiling
"I can't bugger you, so will you bugger me?"

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* # ¿ Nov 16, 2016 01:20
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Three-Phase

by zen death robot
Fact: Waltzing Matilda was the national anthem until around 2009 when it was officially replaced by A I M Fire by the Australian musical geniuses called Art vs. Science.

It's also the BYOBiest music video ever made that really sums up the Australian spirit.

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* # ¿ Nov 22, 2016 04:05
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# ¿ May 10, 2024 09:04
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Three-Phase

by zen death robot

cmndstab posted:

As a genuine real Australian I would like to confirm that all the facts posted itt are true and real.

However that only goes for the first ten or so posts in this thread because the rest of the posts were posted after I pushed the submit reply button but before my lovely Australian internet trundled my post up the pipeline.

I think you can only get 100 characters per second across the Overland Telegraph cable. That's assuming it wasn't shorted out by a naughty kookaburra.

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* # ¿ Nov 22, 2016 23:44
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Some important notes I took on Australia