in that star wars movie

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byob historian: I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!

smoobles posted:

anyone catch the titular line?

rogue won!

# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:14

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# ? May 5, 2024 20:53

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

why do everyone insist on having interstellar fighters for every purpose?

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# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:45

joke_explainer

Nosfereefer posted:

why do everyone insist on having interstellar fighters for every purpose?

I can't believe the rebels had an entire task force and fighter design project just to acquire some rouge for Mon Mothma.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:50

joke_explainer

things stormtrooper armor won't prevent you from dying from:

anti-vehicle weaponry
assault rifle blaster fire
pistol blaster fire
any explosion of any size near you if you are standing on a pneumatic catapult
falling from heights
falling from even a short distance
tripping and hitting your head
falling off your vehicle
getting hit with large rocks
getting hit with very small rocks
getting hit with an arrow
getting hit with a stick, even to the middle of the chest, where you think that would be the strongest part

I swear they would be better off if they all just wore modern bicycle helmets and nothing else at all. might mess with their intimidation thing they got going on though, but given that a sudden breeze will render them catatonic it seems like it does way more harm than good considering the visibility and agility problems it must cause

# ? Dec 24, 2016 03:26

Plebian Parasite

stormtroopers being the worst armed force in all of fiction is probably my favorite thing about Star Wars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0DuUnhGBK4

# ? Dec 24, 2016 03:46

joke_explainer

We lost Jeff... yeah. Couldn't see the wet floor sign and slipped. No, he didn't fall off one of the many curiously un-guardrailed bottomless pits, he just landed on his butt and died.

# ? Dec 24, 2016 05:11

Android Blues

joke_explainer posted:

We lost Jeff... yeah. Couldn't see the wet floor sign and slipped. No, he didn't fall off one of the many curiously un-guardrailed bottomless pits, he just landed on his butt and died.

# ? Dec 24, 2016 12:24

alnilam

joke_explainer posted:

We lost Jeff... yeah. Couldn't see the wet floor sign and slipped. No, he didn't fall off one of the many curiously un-guardrailed bottomless pits, he just landed on his butt and died.

# ? Dec 24, 2016 13:03

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

joke_explainer posted:

We lost Jeff... yeah. Couldn't see the wet floor sign and slipped. No, he didn't fall off one of the many curiously un-guardrailed bottomless pits, he just landed on his butt and died.

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# ? Dec 24, 2016 14:25

FutonForensic

TK-0420: i feel a sneeze coming on

SN-0069: daryl, no!! your suit can't handle it!!

TK-0420: don't cry for me friend, im already dACHOO

# ? Dec 25, 2016 23:39

alnilam

FutonForensic posted:

TK-0420: i feel a sneeze coming on

SN-0069: daryl, no!! your suit can't handle it!!

TK-0420: don't cry for me friend, im already dACHOO

lol

# ? Dec 25, 2016 23:56

im cute

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:13

google THIS

FutonForensic posted:

TK-0420: i feel a sneeze coming on

SN-0069: daryl, no!! your suit can't handle it!!

TK-0420: don't cry for me friend, im already dACHOO

# ? Dec 27, 2016 04:01

google THIS

joke_explainer posted:

We lost Jeff... yeah. Couldn't see the wet floor sign and slipped. No, he didn't fall off one of the many curiously un-guardrailed bottomless pits, he just landed on his butt and died.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 04:02

google THIS

maybe stormtrooper armor has technology that is meant to deaden any impact to the wearer but whoever did the final calibration accidentally changed the sign of the opposing force and added a zero

and now for decades they've been claiming that the fix is going to come out "next patch" but it's never a super high priority when they're used to just conscripting you or growing more of you in a vat but of course engineering just scrambles when that prima donna phasma wants her armor to be shiny

# ? Dec 27, 2016 04:23

google THIS

stormtrooper armor fitter on endor: well, GZ-0450, how does your new scout armor feel?

GZ-0450: feels great! i'm ready for anything, as long as a three-foot hamster doesn't sling a fist-sized rock at me!

(both laugh just a little too hard)

# ? Dec 27, 2016 23:17

joke_explainer

explosive ablative armor but its all erroneously installed on the inside so it's just a lot of hosing out white suits full of red sludge

# ? Dec 27, 2016 23:36

Android Blues

google THIS posted:

stormtrooper armor fitter on endor: well, GZ-0450, how does your new scout armor feel?

GZ-0450: feels great! i'm ready for anything, as long as a three-foot hamster doesn't sling a fist-sized rock at me!

(both laugh just a little too hard)

# ? Dec 27, 2016 23:39

bruckner

I thought it was horrible because it was as good as a made for tv movie and the cgi faces looked retarded. I'm thinking since the cgi faces worked well for people they might as well recreate the OT with all faces cgied and it wouldn't make a difference because noone seemed to care.

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# ? Dec 31, 2016 18:59

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Seriously, though, how bad do you have to gently caress up at work for them to put your desk in the Planet Destroying Laser Tube.
"Hey, Steve, I came down because I saw you post in the company newsletter and I was wondering if you still had those tickets to- GAHHHHHH! gently caress, HOW DO YOU WORK DOWN HERE??"

# ? Jan 1, 2017 00:43

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

no safety railings or anything

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# ? Jan 2, 2017 19:33

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Seems like they could learn a thing or two from Cobra, their dudes always seem to be able to jump out of tanks before they blow up and everyone has a parachute.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 19:41

Plebian Parasite

I would be that stormtrooper, don't even have to go down to the break room to use the microwave, just put your potato up on the ledge and your lunch makes itself.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 20:46

Doctor Dogballs: driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

you think stormtrooper can afford potato?

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# ? Jan 3, 2017 12:43

Doctor Dogballs: driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

I was stormtrooper and let me tell you it is not job for you to earn potato every day

only special occasion

our helmets not even proper gas filter, just dust mask inside.

most of guys poke hole in the lenses because too dark. but when welding day come, they regret. and welding day come often

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# ? Jan 3, 2017 12:46

google THIS

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Seriously, though, how bad do you have to gently caress up at work for them to put your desk in the Planet Destroying Laser Tube.
"Hey, Steve, I came down because I saw you post in the company newsletter and I was wondering if you still had those tickets to- GAHHHHHH! gently caress, HOW DO YOU WORK DOWN HERE??"

Mr. Tarkin told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Tarkin and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my blaster and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to the doom laser tunnel and there was garbage on it and if this keeps up I'm going to set the reactor on fire.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 16:51

im cute

google THIS posted:

Mr. Tarkin told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Tarkin and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my blaster and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to the doom laser tunnel and there was garbage on it and if this keeps up I'm going to set the reactor on fire.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 17:05

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

google THIS posted:

Mr. Tarkin told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Tarkin and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my blaster and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to the doom laser tunnel and there was garbage on it and if this keeps up I'm going to set the reactor on fire.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 21:17

joke_explainer

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Seriously, though, how bad do you have to gently caress up at work for them to put your desk in the Planet Destroying Laser Tube.
"Hey, Steve, I came down because I saw you post in the company newsletter and I was wondering if you still had those tickets to- GAHHHHHH! gently caress, HOW DO YOU WORK DOWN HERE??"

*Last week*
[DARTH VADER enters, stepping up to IMPERIAL GUNNERY LT's cubicle.]
Vader: Hey LT, what's happening. *spills coffee on mask* Listen, we've got a little bit of a scheduling & priority coinkydink going on, would you mind moving into the super laser tube down in sector 7 G? IT's got a nice little space for you set up there, real private.

Seriously though, I love this image. Never thought about it before. He's shielding his face from the blast, which kind of implies maybe he didn't know it was going to happen. Is he even involved in operating the super laser at all? It seems like there would be better positions for his job if he needs to monitor the coherence of the beam in some way other than 'witnessing the flash through closed eyes as high-energy radiation bombards his optic nerve'.

I can't even tell how you get out there; kind of looks like you have to clamber around the awkwardly placed desk.

# ? Jan 4, 2017 01:18

Plebian Parasite

It makes me wonder what the gravity is like in the Death Star, if the laser pulse is traveling to the surface, shouldn't it be shooting straight up not horizontally. I mean, it's never said that they have gravity manipulators, but it's pretty clear they do, and if that's the case, how does the gravity in the death star work? Is it just a spherical layercake, one story on top of the other? Is it a planetoid where down is pointed to the core? Or is it just a hodgepodge mess of whatever gravity they needed at the time, with elevators and walkways curving escher style from sector to sector?

# ? Jan 4, 2017 06:16

joke_explainer

Plebian Parasite posted:

It makes me wonder what the gravity is like in the Death Star, if the laser pulse is traveling to the surface, shouldn't it be shooting straight up not horizontally. I mean, it's never said that they have gravity manipulators, but it's pretty clear they do, and if that's the case, how does the gravity in the death star work? Is it just a spherical layercake, one story on top of the other? Is it a planetoid where down is pointed to the core? Or is it just a hodgepodge mess of whatever gravity they needed at the time, with elevators and walkways curving escher style from sector to sector?

Changes in gravity from area to area seem like a big mistake given how they seem to think guardrails are an affront to mankind.

The one guardrail I remember on Empire architecture was in the Emperor's throne room on the DS2. And it did nothing to prevent him from plummeting to his death.

# ? Jan 4, 2017 06:39

Plebian Parasite

joke_explainer posted:

Changes in gravity from area to area seem like a big mistake given how they seem to think guardrails are an affront to mankind.

The one guardrail I remember on Empire architecture was in the Emperor's throne room on the DS2. And it did nothing to prevent him from plummeting to his death.

maybe the control of gravity is so refined that they don't need guardrails, maybe as soon as they step off the ledge it will just spit them back onto the ground.

# ? Jan 4, 2017 06:43

Doctor Dogballs: driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

Plebian Parasite posted:

It makes me wonder what the gravity is like in the Death Star, if the laser pulse is traveling to the surface, shouldn't it be shooting straight up not horizontally. I mean, it's never said that they have gravity manipulators, but it's pretty clear they do, and if that's the case, how does the gravity in the death star work? Is it just a spherical layercake, one story on top of the other? Is it a planetoid where down is pointed to the core? Or is it just a hodgepodge mess of whatever gravity they needed at the time, with elevators and walkways curving escher style from sector to sector?

imagine four

s on the edge of a cliff

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# ? Jan 4, 2017 06:43

Android Blues

joke_explainer posted:

Changes in gravity from area to area seem like a big mistake given how they seem to think guardrails are an affront to mankind.

The one guardrail I remember on Empire architecture was in the Emperor's throne room on the DS2. And it did nothing to prevent him from plummeting to his death.

The sith probably hate guardrails, whenever someone important and skilled tumbles off an unsecured walkway to their doom the Emperor is probably like "social Darwin awards! lol!" and Vader is like, man, sometimes I miss when obi-wan was my best friend

# ? Jan 4, 2017 11:45

joke_explainer

This pointless hazard is worse than just oversight, Anakin, it's evil!

"From my perspective the guard rails are evil!"

# ? Jan 4, 2017 12:10

Android Blues

joke_explainer posted:

This pointless hazard is worse than just oversight, Anakin, it's evil!

"From my perspective the guard rails are evil!"

# ? Jan 4, 2017 12:22

Android Blues

i cant adequately express how much that post makes me smile and nod to myself and maybe crack up a l'il. good post

# ? Jan 4, 2017 12:32

Android Blues

"the jedi order have been putting 'guard rails' around me all my life. stay here, anakin. don't do this, anakin. don't experience love, anakin! well i'm sick of it! from now on i live free of all restrictionsaaHHHHHH *gets comprehensively set on fire by lava flow due to mustafar's laissez-faire free market approach to tourist safety, if the trade federation wasn't so ruthlessly margin-focused that thing would have had a three metre railing around it and a series of signs warning that inhalation of the fumes could cause continuing life long respiratory problems*

# ? Jan 4, 2017 13:12

alnilam

Plebian Parasite posted:

It makes me wonder what the gravity is like in the Death Star, if the laser pulse is traveling to the surface, shouldn't it be shooting straight up not horizontally. I mean, it's never said that they have gravity manipulators, but it's pretty clear they do, and if that's the case, how does the gravity in the death star work? Is it just a spherical layercake, one story on top of the other? Is it a planetoid where down is pointed to the core? Or is it just a hodgepodge mess of whatever gravity they needed at the time, with elevators and walkways curving escher style from sector to sector?

Yeah it's like a layer cake, built in cartesian coordinates where Z is always down. Always seemed weird to me but most evidence from the movie shows it and iirc the book "star wars essential guide to ships and vehicles" confirms

# ? Jan 4, 2017 13:23

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# ? May 5, 2024 20:53

alnilam

joke_explainer posted:

This pointless hazard is worse than just oversight, Anakin, it's evil!

"From my perspective the guard rails are evil!"

# ? Jan 4, 2017 13:23

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > in that star wars movie

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