|
Mr Fronts posted:Hey, this means I've now posted in two threads on SA. Fly, little bird! Be free! There's a whole (Also, I am a poor and I use this mouse. I thought the whole weight adjustment thing was a gimmick, until the first time I knocked it off my admittedly small desk and lost the weights for a bit. But being the burly bearwrestling, caber tossing, cougar punching lumberjack that I am, I use it with the full 20g loadout.)
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 20:46
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 3, 2024 08:21 |
|
|
Paramemetic posted:Ground flooring this poo poo, now is my chance to be a top poster See, I think this whole thing was rigged. All the little loser non-posters bribed the mods to close the old thread so they could see their name in lights and not try to top the hours and hours of hard hard work by top tier shitposters like myself. Well, all I can say is enjoy it while it lasts, because Samizdata is here to gently caress you up and sit soundly in the middle of the pack, asshats!
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 20:55
|
|
|
ManofManyAliases posted:Has anyone said 'ManofManyAnuses' yet? Glad your parents are here to share in this new thread with you too.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 21:00
|
|
|
Tippis posted:Yeah, I only bring up nVidia because of the 1993 connection and what we've arrived at today in terms of market share — the GeForce 256 didn't come out until, what? '98-'99:ish, and that was the end of the old 3D add-on cards — on-chip hardware T&L had arrived. Also, speaking of NVidia, and Voodoo, NVidia hired a lot of 3Dfx engineers, IIRC, and there is still some tech created by 3Dfx in modern day NVidia products.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 21:03
|
|
|
Beet Wagon posted:
Also, gently caress Madcatz for killing Saitek, and leaving me with a perfectly functional Eclipse 3 I can't use under Windows 10.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 21:08
|
|
|
Chalks posted:Just keep posting the good stuff and soon he'll have the whole thread on ignore That's okay. Derek can't ignore me. As one of his alts, I am the little nagging voice in the back of his head, making terrible jokes when he can't sleep, always there, always shitposting.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 21:20
|
|
|
MeLKoR posted:fifth_stimpire.txt I got your back, bra... Even if all I have is the Fourth... In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards. Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will. Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect. However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps. Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection. All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever. Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed. Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable. Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average. Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule. Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed. The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 21:29
|
|
|
Also...   says PAAAAAAAAAARP!
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 21:31
|
|
|
grimcreaper posted:So.. when does the spam shitposting begin to get this thread to 6666 as fast as possible? Are we gonna be spamming the stimperial text repeatedly or are we gonna do something classy like the atv transcripts over and over?  Well... You see... Ummm... Err...
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 21:39
|
|
|
ManofManyAliases posted:In other words, he was due for a walk. Got it. Derek had Legal on ignore because of the kitchen floor pooping incident.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 21:44
|
|
|
The Titanic posted:Now I always feel everybody is entitled to an opinion. Except this one. It's a bad opinion. I will not agree unconditionally, but overall. Ever seen a fresh hatched Komodo?
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 21:46
|
|
|
TheAgent posted:moma I am currently drinking a 2012 c. montelena chardonnay with some cheap fish tacos I am currently drinking iced tea while eating generic Mexican Foot Loops, erm, Aritos De Frutas dry from the bag.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 22:07
|
|
|
Solarin posted:still my favorite by far (and relevant for another month) Agreed. But i have using that post pretty much ever since I started posting in the old thread. MANY of them in there. Was just trying to establish a link to the past, and keep us from forgetting tradition and the old ways. Thus my recitation of the sacred Stimperial lore.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 22:26
|
|
|
Jason Sextro posted:Yeah I don't know that a design philosophy that involves heavy emphasis on FMV and cinematics necessarily translates to lightning striking <looks at the perfectly clear sky, then back at you all and shrugs>
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 22:38
|
|
|
TheAgent posted:oh something will be hard all right I was thinking more Sandi's carapace, but, yeah, that works too. EDIT: I verb tense good! Samizdata fucked around with this message at 22:42 on Dec 2, 2016 |
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 22:38
|
|
|
The Titanic posted:Errrr.. no. Lizards are not really my strong suit... Thus my partial agreement. #NotALLbabyAnimals
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2016 22:42
|
|
|
Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Sure. We ever get you+me+bar in the same place and the same time, I would be happy to render proper sacrifices to our god together, no?
|
|
#
¿
Dec 3, 2016 16:21
|
|
|
AlbieQuirky posted:By "top execs" do you mean Chris Robber, his brother, his wife, and assorted asskissers? I wouldn't so much call them "asskissers" as I would "stinkhole leeches".
|
|
#
¿
Dec 3, 2016 16:46
|
|
|
SelenicMartian posted:So, how many boxes has Ben got? All of them. It's Ben.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 3, 2016 16:51
|
|
|
PhallicPhalanges posted:What is all that poo poo under the barrel supposed to be? <flails hands>It's a...<fails>...thingie...that...ummm...does physics!...Yeah...Stellar...erm...fidelity...uhhhh...enhancer....coming in 9.7.5.3.8.2.1.5. DOING IT!
|
|
#
¿
Dec 3, 2016 16:59
|
|
|
Sunswipe posted:I know there's no point to this, cos I'm basically replying to a poo poo AI, but: I don't hate Star Citizen or the people who play it. I love Star Citizen, it's the best videogame I've never paid for. I feel pity for the people who play Star Citizen, because there are so many better games (almost every game ever) that they could be playing instead of the broken, buggy tech demo they've convinced themselves is the best game ever. That is why you need to talk to me. I am 100% human meatbag and I lovingly hand craft each shitpost for the thread with the finest shitpostery available to non-silicon intelligences.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 16:02
|
|
|
happyhippy posted:Can you watch football from your ship ingame? More importantly, can I ignore the wallscreen sataball to call my parents on the ingame Spectrum even though they don't play the game? Also, if they are dead, is there an ingame way to be glad of it?
|
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 16:07
|
|
|
Sunswipe posted:Samizdata for idiot king! Seconded!
|
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 16:09
|
|
|
Colostomy Bag posted:Replica of the LA coffee shop that serves beverages and donuts at inflated prices. The sarcophagus Sandi sleeps in, and several of the husks left of CIG staffers after she has fed? Along with a warning to the faint hearted and children?
|
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 22:09
|
|
|
Sabreseven posted:*Ding* You win an entire internets, use it wisely Fine. You two go be all happy, I'll be over here enjoying a lovely vindaloo.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 22:40
|
|
|
Beer4TheBeerGod posted:People thought the same thing when I was banned, as if being purged from their overmoderated hug box would keep me from somehow playing the game. And we're toxic, yet we welcome Citizens in (for mockery, aye, but no kill lists).
|
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 22:43
|
|
|
Thoatse posted:(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) Dear God, that ban pic was down right Stimperial, man!
|
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 22:46
|
|
|
Mirificus posted:https://twitter.com/TheRealGremlich/status/805254878964674561 Well, apparently I hurt his widdle feelings, as I am now blocked. Standard Citizen Defense Maneuver Alpha - Stop listening.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 22:59
|
|
|
Booourns posted:Do you think that this challenge improved the thread and cut down on random off topic shitposting? No, not really. But it did result in cookies and laughter. And that is a good enough thing.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 23:03
|
|
|
Right right. So I made a general tweet with his name in it suggesting disagreeing with someone then ending a conversation with an insult and then a block is bad form. Would be lovely if the news gets through to him. And, yeah, I got nothing today... 
Samizdata fucked around with this message at 23:11 on Dec 4, 2016 |
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 23:06
|
|
|
Brilliant, old son, brilliant. Even a non-Goon, non-SC friend I shared it with says, and I quote "That is awesome." and he has no clue on the challenge other than my disjointed description. So, gently caress   Take that in good health, old son, and enjoy it. It is well earned.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 5, 2016 05:05
|
|
|
skaboomizzy posted:I'm a stupid PC noob, but what possible reason could anyone have for that setup besides "I have literally nothing and nobody else in my life to spend money on"? I'm going to go with either that or "Mommy and Daddy and Uncle Frank want private time, so they buy me computer stuff so I will stay in the basement all the time. I can understand Mommy, Daddy, and Uncle Frank having fun together, but why do ALL of them have private with Shaggy, the miniature pony?"
|
|
#
¿
Dec 5, 2016 08:33
|
|
|
Ghostlight posted:It's hard to explain how it is, but it uses the movie heritage very well and subverts it in a few places to good effect. It's just a really rich story about storytelling that manages to build a Really I see it as more of a discussions about the pitfalls and responsibilities of artificial intelligence. And, seeing as three different people have given you three different interpretations, maybe that's a sign it isn't as shallow as you think it is, and perhaps worth a watch to make your own decision.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 5, 2016 16:21
|
|
level of intricacy while having an actual endgame planned out.
|
Nickiepoo posted:Star Citizen taught me how to shitpost. Hav posted:Star Citizen taught me how to speed-read shitposts. Star Citizen taught me how to speed-shitpost.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 6, 2016 19:18
|
|
|
cool new Polack jokes posted:
And torture porn. EDIT: Made it on 42 without even trying! Samizdata fucked around with this message at 22:26 on Dec 6, 2016 |
|
#
¿
Dec 6, 2016 19:23
|
|
The Star Citizen saga has it all.
|
Beer4TheBeerGod posted:It's like Inception. Or a giant pile of lies. We must go derper! WAHOOONNNNNNNG!
|
|
#
¿
Dec 6, 2016 20:03
|
|
|
Ol Cactus Dick posted:Yeah I know he said his fake lawyers wouldn't let him post it but I also know that means he didn't have poo poo in the first place and just felt the need to draw attention to himself, since that's what this whole thing about for him. Fake lawyears don't hump your leg when they are feeling needy. SO CHECKMATE, GOONER!
|
|
#
¿
Dec 6, 2016 20:12
|
|
|
ManofManyAliases posted:"WHOA GUYS - 1 person in 300+ is leaving! Sky is falling!" You need to chill out and think before posting, man. In companies, not all employees contribute the same to the company. Not all 300+ Cigizens (and we only have them to trust on that staffing size) are magic interchangeable cogs. So, yeah, if I saw the RIGHT one person leaving, I might indeed be concerned. Take a nice long deep breath before you post next time. I mean seriously, between the reductio ad absurdum and some of the ad hominems lately, you are sounds like some of those Redditors and Twatters I have been duking it out with. You are better than that, man. Have a nice steak, a glass of wine, and call the fam, okay?
|
|
#
¿
Dec 6, 2016 21:53
|
|
|
Beet Wagon posted:It seems like smug MoMA has been replaced by angry MoMA... You and me both. Angry MoMA is just as bad at that tool arguing I had to prove I wasn't Derek or those Redditor circle jerkers.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 6, 2016 22:04
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 3, 2024 08:21 |
|
|
Colostomy Bag posted:The real question is what heartbreaking and sickening calamity could cause the Stimperor to order it to fly half-staff. Everybody has a great day?
|
|
#
¿
Dec 7, 2016 17:13
|
|