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MageMage
Feb 11, 2007

I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL


quote:

Hail and Well Met! Welcome to the ImaNewbie does Britannia, Collector's Edition.

Just by way of a little history, ImaNewbie was not my first foray into the world of online comics. It all started with the first multiplayer online game to gain a large following, i.e. Diablo, and a site I created called Tryon's Diablo Cartoon Page. I had been creating little weekly one frame cartoons about Diablo for a little over a year and then, one day I heard of this new Massively Multiplayer Online Game called Ultima Online that was sweeping the net. At first I was skeptical, I mean sheesh, PAYING a monthly fee to play a computer game? Surely this would never catch on. But then, as more and more of my old Diablo friends went over to UO and began sending glowing reports, I decided to take the plunge. The rest is history.

I never would have guessed when I sat down at the computer and created that first little two frame comic, that three years later I would still be chronicling the adventures of ImaNewbie. In that time ImaNewbie has become somewhat of a legendary character in Ultima Online, probably nearly as well known as Lord British himself. Over the last few years, thousands upon thousands of people (from over 95 countries that I have managed to identify), have stopped in at my web site to spend some time with Ima and his crew. This anthology is my way of saying thanks to all the loyal fans who have stayed with Ima through thick and thin, followed his adventures, emailed me with suggestions and compliments, spoken with me in-game, and generally given me the encouragement and drive to continue the series.

In addition to the 'toons, I have also included character bios of all the major characters who have appeared in the comics along with significant events in their lives. I have added notes and indexes on the major themes and controversies and where they appear in the various toons. I have also included the entire 18 Britannia Enquirer editions done to date. The Britannia Enquirer was an extra feature I launched when I discovered that there were some issues happening in-game that I thought would be better handled using the "tabloid" newspaper format rather than the standard 'toons. And lastly, I have included the Dictionary of UO/ICQ speak from my web site ... a quick guide to some of the strange and colorful language and abbreviations that have become a trademark of online communications, especially in online gaming.

So here without further ado, I humbly present the life and times of ImaNewbie…Enjoy!

later…Tryon

The disc probably cost me about $30 at the time, I remember I got a t-shirt with it, too. I highly doubt I have any pictures of that.

The disc was supposed to be gold-colored and signed, which was neither.

Anyway, to view it, download the following zip file, extract it into a folder, and then run index.html.

Enjoy!

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B0GxXJ5YITa8YmJnOEdqcHR1eWc

Edit: Apparently the "update" zip survived, so you can copy and paste this and replace it to get the last two toons:
http://web.archive.org/web/20070909132314/http://www.imanewbie.com/sales/cdupdate1.shtml

(P.S. If anyone wants to host it, be my guest)

MageMage fucked around with this message at 02:29 on Dec 3, 2016

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FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Why did you buy this?

Geomancing
Jan 8, 2004

I am not an egghead. I am well-read.
Humor was hard to come by on the internet in 2001.

I remember reading this way back when, along with Lum the Mad's... blog? Website? Geocities page? whichever, back when UO was the game to play. It has not aged well.

MageMage
Feb 11, 2007

I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL

FactsAreUseless posted:

Why did you buy this?

I was a stupid teenager who obsessed over Ultima Online way too much. Also, I liked the T-shirt. I was the best-dressed sophomore at my high school.

insomne
Nov 26, 2007

unrestrained rhythms.
This was extremely my jam when I was a kid. They don't make 'em like UO anymore.

NLJP
Aug 26, 2004


poo poo, I remember hanging out at their house on the Atlantic? shard. After people worked out how to make aquariums from suspending fish in different coloured sets of cloth and poo poo. I was about 12 I think and did some crappy roleplay. Was one of those marble villas with a terrace etc. I think

Migishu
Oct 22, 2005

I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful

Grimey Drawer
Oh my, I remember this.

I don't know if I want to remember this but I do remember it.

Degs
Mar 2, 2014

NLJP posted:

poo poo, I remember hanging out at their house on the Atlantic? shard. After people worked out how to make aquariums from suspending fish in different coloured sets of cloth and poo poo. I was about 12 I think and did some crappy roleplay. Was one of those marble villas with a terrace etc. I think

He was Pacific, all the RP events quickly became about how he was there.

Whatever, though, I was 12 and ate that poo poo up.

dodecahardon
Oct 20, 2008
I liked B0N3D00D and pLaTeDeWd

Cuntellectual
Aug 6, 2010
Was ImaNewbie a series? How did this get published? :iiam:

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I don't think I ever had as much fun in anything else as I did on the christmas server where we immediately all formed gangs that just collected piles of colored robes or something.

I said come in!
Jun 22, 2004

Holy poo poo, the OP brings back so many memories of when I played Ultima Online back in 2000.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer
My favourite is when the dragon tamed him instead.

MageMage
Feb 11, 2007

I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL

Cuntellectual posted:

Was ImaNewbie a series? How did this get published? :iiam:

It was a CD that was offered towards the end of the Imanewbie.com website. When it was first announced, you could buy it in a bundle with a t-shirt:

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

Cuntellectual posted:

Was ImaNewbie a series? How did this get published? :iiam:

It was basically a webcomic. I don't think "published" is the right word.

Waldorf Sixpence
Sep 6, 2004

Often harder on Player 2
This was recent enough that PayPal existed, but old enough that yellow Comic Sans on a black background was acceptable design?

Peanut Butler
Jul 25, 2003



Waldorf Sixpence posted:

This was recent enough that PayPal existed, but old enough that yellow Comic Sans on a black background was acceptable design?

PayPal's been around for a long time, and Comic Sans will never die

Like I can guarantee you'd still be seeing a lot more of it if professionally-made webpage templates weren't abundant and free

E: like a lot of goons, I've been on the internet since the early 90s- cool and weird to see a relic of the old, wild, [56k NO], nerds club internet around.

Post more weird "old" internet stuff from a CD-ROM please OP!

K8.0
Feb 26, 2004

Her Majesty's 56th Regiment of Foot
The real relics of the early internet are under construction and skull gifs that took 2 minutes to load.

Migishu
Oct 22, 2005

I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful

Grimey Drawer

quote:

Note: The .zip file update below was scanned with the latest version of Norton Anti-Virus 2002 and latest virus signatures before I uploaded it to my site. This is the ONLY site with an authorized version of the update. Do NOT download this update from any other site as I cannot guarantee it will be virus free!

Guys I think we're safe

Node
May 20, 2001

KICKED IN THE COOTER
:dings:
Taco Defender
holy poo poo, this thread just took me back to 1997. I read ImaNewbie all the time. That and Lum the Mad.

Guy Mann
Mar 28, 2016

by Lowtax



Node
May 20, 2001

KICKED IN THE COOTER
:dings:
Taco Defender

Completely seriously captures what Ultima Online player interactivity was like in the late 90s. And I wouldn't change it one bit.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer
fethers

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!
UO was cool but it couldn't live up to the cover art



look at that crazy poo poo

Node
May 20, 2001

KICKED IN THE COOTER
:dings:
Taco Defender

Adam Bowen posted:

UO was cool but it couldn't live up to the cover art



look at that crazy poo poo

I remember seeing that in a pc gaming magazine and losing my poo poo over it.

To be fair, it's a really good drawing.

Teikanmi
Dec 16, 2006

by R. Guyovich
I'm pretty sure it did live up to it though

Captain Rufus
Sep 16, 2005

CAPTAIN WORD SALAD

OFF MY MEDS AGAIN PLEASE DON'T USE BIG WORDS

UNNECESSARY LINE BREAK

Teikanmi posted:

I'm pretty sure it did live up to it though

My first experience with Ultima Online was getting pked in town before I had even figured out how to move because near launch UO was Raph Koster's first clueless attempt to make an mmo where the players could engage in the magic of friendship/sandbox it. (Star Wars Galaxies was his second try. Dude is almost adorable in how he thinks people will be in mmos.)

This meant it was Grand Theft Sosaria with a realistic mob spawn system that failed miserably because it thought people would have like 2-300 people a server an hour or so. Yeah it had lots more. Even if you didn't want to be a virtual sociopath there weren't enough critters to fight, not even deer!

2nd Age tweaked poo poo a bit and actually had a goddamned manual to read. Still was open pvp. I mostly ran with a dude named Boba Fett because mmos. (Another PC we saw a lot was Jenna Jameson the Sausage Queen. It was still the 90s and thus time for Klax. And massive PC upgrades every year. Now you just swap gpus every 2-3 years for 250ish till your mobo won't accept the current gen.) Did some actual RP poo poo.

Renaissance fixed the GTA poo poo but by this point everyone moved over to Everquest because it was 3d and other players couldn't abuse you freely. The game itself did that! (Asheron's Call was the best of the big 3 of the time.)

CrashCat
Jan 10, 2003

another shit post


Charles Mansion posted:

I liked B0N3D00D and pLaTeDeWd

Teikanmi
Dec 16, 2006

by R. Guyovich

Captain Rufus posted:

My first experience with Ultima Online was getting pked in town before I had even figured out how to move because near launch UO was Raph Koster's first clueless attempt to make an mmo where the players could engage in the magic of friendship/sandbox it. (Star Wars Galaxies was his second try. Dude is almost adorable in how he thinks people will be in mmos.)

This meant it was Grand Theft Sosaria with a realistic mob spawn system that failed miserably because it thought people would have like 2-300 people a server an hour or so. Yeah it had lots more. Even if you didn't want to be a virtual sociopath there weren't enough critters to fight, not even deer!

2nd Age tweaked poo poo a bit and actually had a goddamned manual to read. Still was open pvp. I mostly ran with a dude named Boba Fett because mmos. (Another PC we saw a lot was Jenna Jameson the Sausage Queen. It was still the 90s and thus time for Klax. And massive PC upgrades every year. Now you just swap gpus every 2-3 years for 250ish till your mobo won't accept the current gen.) Did some actual RP poo poo.

Renaissance fixed the GTA poo poo but by this point everyone moved over to Everquest because it was 3d and other players couldn't abuse you freely. The game itself did that! (Asheron's Call was the best of the big 3 of the time.)

Real talk though, SWG was loving awesome right before Jump to Lightspeed

AggressivelyStupid
Jan 9, 2012

I'm still waiting for UX:O, op

NLJP
Aug 26, 2004


I remember when the UO2 trailer was the most baddest of rear end things I'd ever seen at the time. All that UO stuff in this matrixy steampunk future, all flipping round with swords etc. Didn't worry me that it didn't, well, show the game. Still the highlight of PC Gamer demo discs for me though.

MageMage
Feb 11, 2007

I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL

Captain Rufus posted:

Everquest because it was 3d

UO tried to compete at the time, and failed miserably:







I think I have the UO:3D beta disk somewhere.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer
I remember seeing a Third Dawn dance emote, and thinking it looked like someone folded a playing card in two places.

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy
I never knew anyone who used the Third Dawn client.

Rhymenoserous
May 23, 2008

Midnight Voyager posted:

I never knew anyone who used the Third Dawn client.

It was awful in every way, and the new lands sucked. Also this thread makes me feel young again. Thanks.

Namnesor
Jun 29, 2005

Dante's allowance - $100

NLJP posted:

I remember when the UO2 trailer was the most baddest of rear end things I'd ever seen at the time. All that UO stuff in this matrixy steampunk future, all flipping round with swords etc. Didn't worry me that it didn't, well, show the game. Still the highlight of PC Gamer demo discs for me though.

For reference:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWumht6AuZo

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender
UO was a tight game. You need to look at the Galad griefing(and the Galad the good) comics and there was also a flash movie site that used to make UO flash videos that was pretty popular. http://looterslair.com/category/uo-episodes/ some Galad stuff, its about the same. They cut out all the everyday known logic for UO so they jump a bit. I found the flash movies also because the guy had a memorable character, http://www.wtfman.com/mcd/main.htm. His website is dated as hell!


he knew about the front page

Tenzarin fucked around with this message at 05:25 on Dec 6, 2016

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy
Galad was good poo poo, too. (I say, not having read it in longer than I can remember)

And I take it back, I knew one person who used the Third Dawn client entirely for comedy value. There was apparently... I want to say the swamp dragon only had unique art in it? There was more than one thing, I think, that only looked unique in Third Dawn, but they eventually changed it because nothing could convince anyone to use it.

Anyway, there was some confusion because the Third Dawn guy didn't know this.

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Siljmonster
Dec 16, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Charles Mansion posted:

I liked B0N3D00D and pLaTeDeWd

yeh these were good

i was Cookie Monster on Lake Superior/Great Lakes

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