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Who will be the champ come Sunday morning? This poll is closed. |
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|---|---|---|---|
| Mighty Mouse |
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26 | 83.87% |
| Meth Man |
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5 | 16.13% |
| Total: | 31 votes | ||
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 From the people who brought you smash flash-game hits “Elf Bowling” and “Elf Bowling 2: This Time It’s a Trojan” comes the The Ultimate Fighter: Tournament of Champions Finale, 10 p.m. ET Saturday, Dec. 3, on Fox Sports 1. Happy holiday season, everyone! It’s that festive time of year again, where we all get together and try extra hard not to be assholes for a few weeks for fear of not receiving a new Gameboy or having to watch a Gleison Tibau fight. After all, Uncle Dana is watching you, making sure you’re not supporting the a Bjorn Rebney-led MMA  For the Flyweight Title  Demetrious “Mighty Mouse” Johnson How to stay off his Naughty List: Make sure you’re not using any rom hacks on your Twitch stream vs.  Tim “Why Is There an MMA Gym in Lee’s Summit, Missouri” Elliott How to stay off his Naughty List: Remember the Titans Mighty Mouse is extremely good, so much to the point that the guy he is fighting just won a tournament to arguably suggest he is better than every other flyweight champion of a somewhat reputable promotion in the world, and no one believes that guy has better than a puncher’s chance to get this done. Mighty Mouse hasn’t lost an MMA fight since his 2011 bout with bantamweight champ Dominick Cruz, at which point he still managed a fairly competitive fight with a much larger fighter while still only training part-time so he could support himself. He’s been a demon since going to Matt Hume’s full time. Johnson is arguably the fastest fighter on the roster and has preposterously great wrestling, as well as good hands and submissions. The UFC’s first and only flyweight champion, Mighty Mouse is going into this bout two fights away from tying Anderson Silva’s record for most successful title defenses, which will look awfully nice in his record book next to “first and third latest submissions in the UFC.” Elliott would be another feather in his cap, and should prove to be another exciting fight. Tim Elliott was actually bounced from the UFC after amassing a lackluster 2-4 record in the flyweight division, so a lot of people felt he wasn’t particularly good given how the division is somewhat talent-thin and top-loaded. However, most of his losses are in that top range, to John Dodson, Ali Bagautinov, Joseph Benavidez and Zach Makovsky. He also went on to earn the Titan FC belt and is on a solid four-fight streak, and did pretty well for himself on TUF as well — although by his own admission, he was gifted a decision win at one point. At any rate, Elliott is going to try to make it a scrap, and it’s very unlikely that it will work for him. Feel free to emptyquote this paragraph for a dozen pages when he Holly Holm’s Mighty Mouse. For the Second Best Flyweight in the World Now That Dodson’s a Bantamweight Again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1jbNpi44Kk Joseph Benavidez How to stay off his Naughty List: Watch Road House at least three times this year, preferably on DVD so the best lines aren’t edited out and you can see Kelly Lynch’s cans vs.  Henry Cejudo How to stay off his Naughty List: Chew with your mouth closed and act like a positive role model for the young Mexican Americans So far, Joe B. has proven that nobody but the champ has had a realistic shot at beating him. He tapped the current title contender with his signature guillotine before coaching him to victory on TUF, and has made it very clear that he does not like his opponent tonight, openly declaring that he used to gently caress guys like him in high school. Benavidez’ recovery from drug addiction, nipple piercing and stated willingness to get back in the cage with Mighty Mouse after getting knocked the gently caress out lunging forward with his eyes closed proves that he has the same mantra as the coolest cooler around: pain don’t hurt. Henry Cejudo was an Olympic gold medalist in wrestling, and he was undefeated in MMA until he got worked over in the clinch by Demetrious “I used to wrestle guys like you in high school” Johnson. That fight really drove home how great Mighty Mouse’s wrestling is in MMA, because Cejudo’s is clearly very good as well. He’s hoping a win over a top 3 fighter like Benavidez will give his career the resurgence it needs to get back in the title picture sooner rather than later, although unless Elliott does the unthinkable tonight, I am not sure why he would ever want to after that fight. Cejudo has also famously struggled with weight, outright refusing to make the agreed-upon weight class multiple times due to not liking the cutting process. This ,lead to his UFC debut being at bantamweight, so it’s possible he could go the Lineker route and snack his way up in weight to make a run for Dominick Cruz. Welterweight  Jake Ellenberger How to stay off his Naughty List: Get out and vote early in the California primaries vs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMhf2eUlEeE Jorge Masvidal How to stay off his Naughty List: Remember those who are no longer with us. We miss you, Kimbo. Jake Ellenberger has had a pretty rough go of it lately, although I guess that’s to be suspected when a fighter says “Hey, I’m a pretty natural talent with a lot of knockout power but I haven’t quite been able to break ahead of the pack and earn a title shot, I think I will make some changes in my camp and put my career in Edmond Tarverdyan’s hands.” After murdering Nate Marquardt in 2013, he went on a shockingly tragic 1-5 skid, picking up his lone win in nearly three years by choking out the ghost of Josh Koscheck. That said three of his five losses were to future title holders or challengers, so it doesn’t seem that bad in hindsight. Fortunately, he’s made some more changes and gotten the hell out of Ronda Rousey’s Hell Circus, and came back in dramatic fashion with a body kick TKO over Matt “What’s A Liver?” Brown. He hopes to get his first winning streak in years tonight. While I can’t decide whether or not Jake Ellenberger is good again, I can’t decide whether Masvidal was ever good in the first place. Over the past few years, the former Kimbo Slice Backyard Brawler has had a really close, competitive fight with pre-Bellator Ben Henderson and got a performance of the night in his welterweight return for KOing the sentient steroid tumor they scraped off of Vitor Belfort’s withered testicles, but he’s also had some pretty tepid stinkers and a lot of “meh” split decisions. There’s good odds this fight won’t answer either question, but there’s also live odds that it’s cool as hell. Light heavyweight  Ion Cutelaba How to stay off his Naughty List: Watch this fight vs.  Jared Cannonier How to stay off his Naughty List: Seriously, they’re begging you, don’t switch over to your N64 and play Goldeneye again for 15 minutes, watch this fight Ion Cutelaba’s holiday job is to stand outside of your window with a boombox at night while you try to watch “A Christmas Story” for the hundredth time, not wearing a coat, blaring “Do They Know It’s Christmastime At All,” turning it up a little bit when it gets to that extra condescending Bono part, making you feel bad for underprivileged fat Moldovan children who won’t be getting Pokemon Sun or Moon this year. Because you don’t feel bad for them and haven’t donated enough to charity this year, your Dickensian punishment will be watching Cutelaba fight some guy you’ve never heard of to prove yet again that light heavyweight is a dumpster fire. Women’s Bantamweight  Sara McMann How to stay off her Naughty List: Pretend it’s 2013 again, just for a night, so she can remember what it’s like to be happy and successful vs.  Alexis Davis How to stay off her Naughty List: Try not to bring up that whole Rousey thing at the UFC holiday party Sara McMann has unfortunately shaped up to be one of the great MMA busts in recent years. Much like Cejudo, she was also an undefeated Olympic wrestling medalist who was super hyped up. That’s why they made a really big deal out of the “undefeated Olympian vs. undefeated Olympian” thing when she fought Ronda Rousey. Then, she became Rousey’s first-ever KO win. People argued with it, since she was technically trying to stand up when the ref called the fight, but she ate a pretty big knee right to the liver and in that position was likely just going to get tossed and armbarred. From there, she’s had a pretty poo poo run, eeking out a win over Lauren Murphy and then getting wrecked by Miesha Tate and Amanda Nunes. That said, her only losses are to UFC bantamweight champions, so it’s entirely possible she could lay on top of Alexis Davis while making confused faces for another win check. Alexis Davis tends to be a punchline, and it’s probably slightly unwarranted. She’s not terrific, but she’s had a respectable record and some good submission wins as well. She became Ronda Rousey’s second KO win, and this one was much more convincing and record-setting than the first. That’s her lone loss in the last four years, however, and she avenged some old losses to Sarah Kaufman with an armbar her last time out. Since then she took some time off to have a baby and is hoping to come back and win big for a nice bonus check to buy her baby some nice Christmas gifts  Flyweight  Brandon “The Assassin Baby” Moreno How to stay off his Naughty List: Refer to him as “The Assassin Baby” with a straight face vs.  Ryan Benoit How to stay off his Naughty List: Respect women in nightclubs and shave your beard in a normal, respectable way, or else he will kick you directly in your ballsack and rear end in a top hat Former World Fighting Federation (???) Flyweight Champ Brandon Moreno was also on TUF 24 as the 16th seed, losing his first round fight to Alexandre Pantoja by submission. I’m not sure why he of all people is getting a return fight on the main card portion here, but more power to him I suppose. Ryan Benoit made waves by beating Sergio Pettis and then kicking him in the rear end after the ref stopped the fight. He pretended he was sorry and Dana White did not take his presents away, so I guess you don’t really need to behave around the holidays after all. OTHER poo poo TO WATCH FS1 Prelims, 8 p.m. ET Featherweight Gray Maynard vs. Ryan Hall Bantamweight Rob Font vs. Matt Schnell Lightweight Dong Hyun Kim vs. Brendan O'Reilly Women's Strawweight Kailin Curran vs. Jamie Moyle Fight Pass Prelims, 7 p.m. ET Middleweight Elvis Mutapcic vs. Anthony Smith Light Heavyweight Josh Stansbury vs. Devin Clark Official MMA Snack Rating: Candy canes at the kindergarten holiday party, except one kid has sucked it down to a point and is shiving everyone with it, and he’s really, alarmingly good at it, and for some reason none of the adults are putting a stop to it  And make your picks in goonweight!
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Dec 3, 2016 05:46
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Forceholy posted:So Tim Elliot is pretty much Flyweight Dominick Cruz on Meth? He's based out of Lee's Summit so definitely
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Dec 4, 2016 07:13
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Jesus, pretty much all of those sub attempts were really tight
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Dec 4, 2016 07:20
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Tim Elliott came back into the ufc after being cut off a 2-4 run and put up a better fight than either coach on TUF
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Dec 4, 2016 07:26
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Tim Elliott's dad is that one fuckin Guy from Mad Men
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Dec 4, 2016 07:31
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