interviewing and job hunting is garbage

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > interviewing and job hunting is garbage

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FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

I think � I think, for me, nuclear is just the power, the devastation is very important to me.

one of the more frightening future trends is the fading of the nuclear taboo. the cold war has been over for almost 30 years, hiroshima and nagasaki were 70 years ago, and the number of people who lived under and remember the sheer terror of mutual assured destruction is starting to really drop

you can see something similar in the startling way that anti-semitism and neo-nazi signifying has been creeping back into the mainstream, along with open racism and white nationalism. wwii and the civil rights movement are increasingly quaint historical events, just another sepia-toned chapter in a textbook for people born after 1975

fun times ahead

# ¿ Dec 22, 2016 18:15

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 10:45

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Bloody posted:

I work on novel problems and still basically my entire job is implementing obvious poo poo

i work on novel problems but that is because i am an editorial assistant for a major literary publishing house

# ¿ Jan 3, 2017 01:30

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

otoh trying to suss out the hidden arbitrary criteria on which youre judged and trying to conform to it is a p important job skill. maybe theyre just testing for that?

# ¿ Jan 3, 2017 16:15

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

lancemantis posted:

interviewers are bad

they are

largely because theyre just random managers or team members who happened to be available at 130pm on wednesday to go into a room and spend 30 minutes asking some rando a bunch of questions and have never been trained in interviewing

if i had a nickel for every interview ive been in where the interviewer spent the first half of it asking me questions about the last two jobs on my resume which he was obviously reading for the first time...

"so you worked at xyz corp. um, what did you do there?"

# ¿ Jan 5, 2017 15:51

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

JewKiller 3000 posted:

so basically, lol if you're not white, or at least from an upper-middle-class business-owning immigrant family

*surveys 400 years of american history*

yep, checks out

# ¿ Jan 6, 2017 04:23

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

PCjr sidecar posted:

checks out, they are friends with you so they clearly have poo poo judgement

daaaaaamn

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 20:11

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Iverron posted:

I live for this day.

The worst part about a toxic work environment isn't the 8-5 M-F, it's laying awake on a Saturday night because you can't stop stewing over said toxic work environment.

its how exhausted you are at the end of every work day, despite not doing much of anything or getting anything done

# ¿ Apr 2, 2017 00:10

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Rex-Goliath posted:

# ¿ Apr 12, 2017 00:18

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

p sure guy kawasaki back in 1984 was the first guy with a computer evangelist title

# ¿ Apr 13, 2017 20:34

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Management posted:

these are all meaningless questions that any intelligent person can just answer benignly. you would be surprised how many stupid people will tell you that they're leaving because their boss is a jerk or they don't give them any respect at work or their weakness is for sexy interns

theyre meant as an intelligence test - as in, are you intelligent enough to understand youre supposed to give the standard meaningless bullshit answers? if you arent, then you may not be suited for a corporate environment where you are expected to deal with standard meaningless bullshit every day

# ¿ Apr 15, 2017 00:08

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

its the same reason sending a thank you email after an interview is such a good idea - not because the recipient will believe that you really were excited to meet the team and eager to take the next step, but because it shows that you respect the unwritten forms of corporate culture and signalling

# ¿ Apr 15, 2017 00:10

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

PapaLazarou posted:

Had a second interview with that company. Went pretty well and I got a call yesterday that they'd have an offer for me on Monday. It's contract hourly. How much money do I ask for as recent grad with some experience near San Jose?

6.5 figgies, duh

# ¿ Apr 29, 2017 23:05

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

leper khan posted:

free food every day is something like $2000 over a year. way better than ping pong tables or hoodies.

the purpose of free food is to keep you from leaving the office at lunchtime so youll hang around and do more work and talk with your coworkers

its about crowding out your (legally mandated!) personal time in favor of work time

# ¿ May 1, 2017 23:41

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

FrozenVent posted:

reminder to everyone to max out their 401k match

like why the gently caress is this even an option, "how much do you want to contribute? we'll match up to 4%!"

if I was king poo poo of the corporation I'd order hr to fire anyone stupid enough to contribute less than the maximum match because I don't want idiots working for me

its literally free money

like every article aimed at dumb people to try and get them to improve their personal finances always starts with "max your 401k match" and "pay down your high apr credit cards" as tips #1 and #2

# ¿ May 1, 2017 23:57

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

PapaLazarou posted:

update: they offered me $35/hr for this contract with no benefits. i told them it seemed low. I guess it's time to ask for more?

i am not so good at this.

thats desktop support it monkey level money

# ¿ May 3, 2017 05:04

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

lol thats so obviously "the guy we hired flamed out or left for a better offer or quit because the position sucked so bad so um who else was in that pile of resumes we sifted through"

# ¿ May 3, 2017 17:02

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

heres a fun little item from the star citizen thread

# ¿ May 3, 2017 17:36

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

quote:

so the fact that they would like to continue says a lot about their interest in you

*wears zany hat*
*points to door*

# ¿ May 8, 2017 19:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Double Bill posted:

Gave notice two weeks ago, followed by meetings with manager, manager's manager and manager's manager's manager in quick succession, all "trying to understand" why I'm leaving

How could it have been a surprise you motherfuckers, the company does literally nothing to keep non-management people happy and committed

we strung you along for four months before telling you there was no money for raises this year. what? youre leaving? dear god why?!?

# ¿ May 18, 2017 19:51

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Rex-Goliath posted:

most of the industry really is that bad

its this

also every company ive ever worked at has had the hr department be the sump for all the mediocrities and dumbasses in the organization. theres just something about hr that attract the least capable people

im always struck by how bad and completely untrained most managers are at interviewing

# ¿ May 23, 2017 01:18

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

hobbesmaster posted:

just dodge it and say it's a work phone or something

say its a work phone and then complain about how poo poo it is, pointing out specific examples of braindead design

# ¿ May 23, 2017 21:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

redleader posted:

i don't have a cs degree. should i just kill myself right now

try and take some cops with you first

# ¿ May 29, 2017 15:32

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

ThePeavstenator posted:

Your resume is supposed to put you in the most glowing light possible. You don't have to put bad jobs you don't want to sell yourself with on it. Just don't lie if asked about the gaps or imply that you've listed all of your jobs on your resume. You might lose out because of short/bad jobs but you definitely will lose out if you lie.

theres a difference between a resume and an employment application

resumes can have gaps and skip over things and show you in the best light

once you get an offer you fill out the official employment application form and its there that you have to be thorough and complete. every poo poo job you had (with contacts), every place youve ever lived, the precise month and year you graduated from college/high school/reform school, whether youve been convicted of a crime - all of it. thats what they use for the background check (and it goes in your file so they can have cause to fire you if theres even a tiny discrepancy)

# ¿ Jun 1, 2017 17:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Management posted:

they can usually get a a pretty good estimate of your age by looking at the years you attended college.

thats why you leave off the years you attended/graduated :ssh:

# ¿ Jun 1, 2017 19:04

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qirex posted:

my current employer verified that I graduated, not sure if they got my actual transcript

yeah 98% of employers just want to verify that you attended xyz university and did earn a bs cs

they dont care that you got a c- in japanese language 1A your freshman year (because you wanted to really understand what all your favorite naruto characters were saying)

# ¿ Jun 1, 2017 20:04

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

PCjr sidecar posted:

not according to the vapors!!!

nice!

# ¿ Jun 1, 2017 20:40

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Management posted:

rude

but not inaccurate

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 06:43

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

PokeJoe posted:

its garbage

what about interviewing?

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 17:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

VOTE YES ON 69 posted:

i've heard it's also garbage

shocking, if true

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 17:21

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qirex posted:

to me this one is a "did you bother even briefly thinking about what we do?"

yeah thats "show us you at least skimmed our corporate website"

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 18:23

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Xarn posted:

Supernaive question incoming:

We know its bullshit.
They gotta know its bullshit.
Why does everyone still bother?

being able to smoothly conform to stupid organization rituals is actually a useful and desirable skill in an employee

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 18:52

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

yeah no one at all cares about your gpa. even for your first job out of school no one cares

got a resume a while back where someone had put their sat scores. i lolled, then placed it on the reject pile

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 20:27

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qhat posted:

It's definitely important to assert your dominance in an interview.

remember: Slamming Boss Against Wall, Shouting �I Need More Cash!� Still Leading Tactic For Securing Raise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbwOYMFtw1k

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 21:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

PierreTheMime posted:

my current manager finally had a realization they are boned as soon as im gone and panic-called his md get the vp to authorize hiring me as an fte

no clue if he'll agree or what figgies they'd offer but lol at doing this six days till im a ghost and am neck-deep in arrangements for moving and not four loving weeks ago when I told him I was leaving

you will never have more leverage in your life than right now

ask for all the figgies

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 22:24

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Sapozhnik posted:

always bring your own printout of your cv to the interview because a recruiter will gently caress with it given the opportunity

otoh why the gently caress would you use an external recruiter ever

this is rule #1 of in person interviews - bring multiple copies of your resume/cv with you (along with a pad of paper and a nice pen, in one of those professional looking padded folio things)

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 23:02