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Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

i specifically declined a goon offer for a job reference there because dc ppl just can't stop murdering queers. wtf dc.

huh? dc is like the gayest city in the us

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Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Smythe posted:

at least it is inside of its pizza parlors hehe

hehe

the dude that went there was the literal embodiment of :downsgun:

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

fart simpson posted:

yah we already know you live there

txt me

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

The Management posted:

D.C. is two different cities: rich white people and students city, and poor black people city. just stay in the right one and you won't get murdered.

lol there's no poor black city anymore

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

ahmeni posted:

lol at moving from a socialist paradise to a brutal capitalist hellhole

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Bloody posted:

the hr person just emailed me and said "you sent me the wrong thing!"

lol

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

if the hr person is cool and didn't tell anyone else about your epic fuckup
you should buy them expensive drinks and then gently caress and cum in them

regardless of gender :wink:

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

The Management posted:

I liked my job a lot and had golden handcuffs for a while there so moving was not really an option. these days they aren't quite handcuffs anymore and while I still do some cool poo poo I bet I could find plenty of interesting stuff elsewhere

golden handcuffs own

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

triple sulk posted:

the airport is pretty bad and you really do have to drive everywhere. f you want to be in downtown phoenix you can probably get something decent for cheap. it seems extremely boring there though so unless you really like the family you have in that area i wouldn't move if you aren't feeling super great about it to begin with.

sounds exactly like dallas/houston

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

carry on then posted:

e: also people who say it's boring, what do you like to do?

lmao

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

carry on then posted:

sorry that trying to help people erodes your "hate on everything you don't know" i guess

im sorry you're unable to grasp how soulless and terrible suburban sprawl is

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

MALE SHOEGAZE posted:

talked to the internal recruiter: i may not have to move to tempe, they may just have me go out and stay there for a month while I onboard. that would megaown

arizona is a terrible state that no one should live in

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

ahmeni posted:



*kicks down the door* hello INSERT NAME HERE! didn't read anything but I have a wonderful opportunity for a position half your current salary in a language you used once 7 years ago. Benefits include: a desk, a ping pong table needlessly close to said desk. Remote working is forbidden because the CTO believes in ghosts. Please send me your CV so I may pretend to have read it in our interview. If this position is not for you, feel free to ruin your relationships by forwarding it to your colleagues.

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

lol if your resume has ever been anything but a formality for some checkbox hr requires

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

jony neuemonic posted:

who cares, stack the paper.

The Management posted:

this is correct. bonus is for work already done. if you did the work, you deserve the bonus.

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

companies that only give you your year's worth of 401k match in one lump sum at the end of the year are the worst

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

krooj posted:

is this a thing?

yep, i know people who have worked at companies that do this

usually its a cost cutting measure that fucks over people that leave/are fired before the end of the year

thankfully never worked at one personally

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

lol if youre ever productive in your job

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

my company has a shitload of vps and directors lol

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

VOTE YES ON 69 posted:

Accept both offers. Actually work at which of the three jobs you want the most. Collect 3 paychecks as long as possible.

This works a lot better with remote jobs. One day I hope to goad someone into actually doing it.

i worked at a dying dinosaur company that autoconverted you to a remote employee if you didn't badge in a certain number of times a month to reduce real estate costs at some of our bigger locations

seems like that + having a manager in a different area would be fantastic cover to hold 2-3 jobs down simultaneously remotely

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

lol if youre important enough of a cog in any massive corporate machine for anyone to notice you beyond your direct management

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

a promotion that includes more responsibility without more money is a punishment

a promotion with just a title change without more money is an insult

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

mega agreedo about never giving up your current salary

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

lol if you werent born with a silver spoon in your mouth just lmao

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

best bs corporate position these days is "evangelist"

honorable mention to the "futurist" aol had on staff but bs c-level positions are different

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

lol if your mattress isn't stuffed to the brim with cash

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

if you touch computers and can't save 20k you are Bad With Money™

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

FrozenVent posted:

payroll had to withhold an extra $15 from my last check because of some gently caress up on their end, triggered an official notice and etc

I went to payroll and asked for an advance so I could make rent despite the $15 gap, and she took me seriously for way too long :wtc:

lol

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Bhodi posted:

it's just a single page with "NO SELFIES!!!!" written in underlined 30pt font

lol

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Bloody posted:

lol if your interview to offer turnaround time is only four weeks, just lol

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

except for my first job, every job ive had since has been due to cronyism

but even when the job is essentially guaranteed upfront its always taken 1+ months for the bureaucracy of HR and poo poo to go forward

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

poty posted:

lol if you have social skills and network with people like some sort of self-pimp

they come to me :shrug:

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Dislike button posted:

so im moving to florida now

:rip:

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

The Management posted:

so a Microsoft recruiter hit me up, which usually goes directly to trash. but since I'm actually looking I talked to him and had him send me the position details he thinks I fit. "Software Engineer II". lmao.

on a scale of I to what?

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

The Management posted:

1 and 2 are basically no experience. 3 and 4 are senior engineers. 5 is principal engineer which is the highest most people will ever get. I haven't been a 2 over in 15 years.

im a hb9 :wink:

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

The Management posted:

my friend who works there convinced me to talk to them. it was interesting and I'm glad I went. and I talked to the wife. we can't see a way to make it work

dump wife, pay alimony based on old salary, make more with new salary

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

The Management posted:

isn't driving down wages the entire point of h1bs?

not adjusting the minimum salary to inflation is

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

big scary monsters posted:

interviewing and job hunting is garbage

:agreed:

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Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

The Management posted:

lmao that's not golden handcuffs.

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