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504 posted:*Slowly backs out of the music section, smiling, pushing kids behind me  Masterful,  Ah gently caress top of the page. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ycWObpi73Y
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Dec 8, 2016 01:51
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Electric Lady posted:It just makes me think of the waiter there who probably can't afford to buy his kid the teddy bear or sick-rear end rifle or whatever he wants because they're cutting his hours because he's been working too much overtime and if he keeps doing it they're going to have to start paying his health insurance. You're a real rear end in a top hat, and need to severely lighten up.
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Dec 8, 2016 02:18
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Plom Bar posted:In my life I have hated many things, but none so much as I have hated that loving Beach Boys Christmas Song, which for all I know is probably actually called "That loving Beach Boys Christmas Song" because it sounds exactly the same as every other god loving damned Beach Boys song only I guess they say Christmas in it. Yes. This. I've been thinking this since I heard it. So lame. And I generally like the Beach Boys!
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Dec 8, 2016 02:38
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Hey Fingercuffs posted:Growing up I loved this album and I still do to this day, It's John Denver & the Muppets. Loved this episode! One of my favorites, except for possibly the Brooke Shields - Alice in Wonderland episode. Here is another song from it that has been an earworm for me since I was a little kid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeOAF44MYHk
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Dec 8, 2016 02:43
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Woman yelling 'Merry Christmas' tries to run over ex-boyfriend decorating home: police State police say holiday music was blaring from a Pennsylvania woman's car as she tore up the yard of her ex-boyfriend's home, nearly running the man and his family over. http://www.pennlive.com/news/2016/12/woman_blaring_holiday_music_tr.html#incart_river_home_pop
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Dec 8, 2016 03:06
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Lime Tonics posted:Woman yelling 'Merry Christmas' tries to run over ex-boyfriend decorating home: police As I posted in another thread; "Pennsylvania, We'll kill you."
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Dec 8, 2016 03:09
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Dec 8, 2016 03:10
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Any movie where it turns out Santa is real but no adults believe in him. Where do they think the presents come from? Free stuff just shows up in every child's house on Christmas and no one knows where it comes from or thinks to question it? And they've all heard of Santa and believed in him as children, but as adults with evidence of his existence showing up like clockwork, they've stopped?
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Dec 8, 2016 03:17
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Black Friday Shopping Chaos [Super Cut Compilation] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xL8rE9DT4g
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Dec 8, 2016 03:19
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Santa resigns after telling boy ‘lay off the burgers’ The boy said he cried after old St. Nick told him to stop eating the fast food. “And when I got done, he said lay off the hamburgers and French fries and that really just disrespected me and I felt awful,” Anthony Mayse, 9, told WLOS. Anthony said after the experience he tore up his picture with Santa. His mom said that Santa didn’t even seem to want to be at the event. “I’m hoping he’s fired because I don’t want any kid feeling like he did Saturday. I mean it destroyed him,” said Ashley Mayse. http://wfla.com/2016/12/07/boy-says-he-was-fat-shamed-by-santa/
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Dec 8, 2016 04:11
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Any 9 year old who says poo poo like "that really just disrespected me" has been bitchmade by his mother and was a lost cause anyway.
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Dec 8, 2016 04:16
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Tiggum posted:Any movie where it turns out Santa is real but no adults believe in him. Where do they think the presents come from? Free stuff just shows up in every child's house on Christmas and no one knows where it comes from or thinks to question it? And they've all heard of Santa and believed in him as children, but as adults with evidence of his existence showing up like clockwork, they've stopped? This is why Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is so awesome. It takes place in a universe where the entire planet acknowledges that Santa as a supernatural holiday figure exists, to the point where they hold TV interviews in his workshop and deploy the entire US military (including launching spacecraft) when he gets kidnapped by Martians.
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Dec 8, 2016 04:25
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THe BEST holiday tradition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a1LV1IeG8U
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Dec 8, 2016 04:34
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504 posted:*Slowly backs out of the music section, smiling, pushing kids behind me Thanks for reminding me that they don't let me in record stores anymore 
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Dec 8, 2016 06:03
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Johnny Aztec posted:Any fat 9 year old who says poo poo like "that really just disrespected me" has been bitchmade by his mother and probably got to eat a whole tub of Rocky Road to make himself feel better afterwards anyway. ftfy
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Dec 8, 2016 06:56
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SIIIIIIIMPLY HAAAAAVING A WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME
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Dec 8, 2016 09:39
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It's just not Christmas until this heartwarmer comes on all the radios https://youtu.be/Mk4woNRD7NQ
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Dec 8, 2016 13:22
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Johnny Aztec posted:Any 9 year old who says poo poo like "that really just disrespected me" has been bitchmade by his mother and was a lost cause anyway. I heard a kid who couldn't have been older than that say 'you're not respecting my opinion  ' to his parents at loving Disneyland because he wanted to stay in the hotel room and play Xbox.Also this is one of two Christmas themed movies we had at grandma's, it is not good. (The other was Muppet Christmas Carol, which is Good  )
Pyrotoad has a new favorite as of 13:32 on Dec 8, 2016 |
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Dec 8, 2016 13:26
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Electric Lady posted:I remember being shown A Christmas Story for the first time in second grade and it was the first time I realized that I was being shown something because it was something the generations before me venerated and felt like me and my class Had To See. I still don't like it to this day because to me it's one of the ultimate example of the kind of holiday movie that puts up a face of being "real" and portraying some of the actual stress of wintertime and the holidays, but in the end just serves to enforce messages about some kind of "sanctity" about the holiday instead of disrupting that message. At least in the story by Jean Shepard, he notes that the ham (because it's a ham in the story) is not just a one-meal thing. It's going to be used as hash, as soup, in dozens of ways that will last weeks. And he notes that buying it represents a significant portion of the family's budget. There's even a whole scene of the father poking and prodding hams at the A&P until he finds one that is just right because it's that important. The ham is irreplaceable, and its loss is significant. I hope the changes for the movie were made because of length, but I fear they were made to prevent weighing down a comedy with too much reality.
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Dec 8, 2016 17:05
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Inflatable lawn displays. I saw a news item the other day about a guy who got arrested for puncturing his neighbor's obnoxious 10-foot-tall inflatable snowman, and I felt honest-to-god sympathy for him. And Black Friday is a loving evil concept. It makes otherwise normal people do poo poo they'd never normally do. There are CASUALTIES on Black Friday because people get trampled to death waiting for deals in Wal-Mart's parking lot at loving MIDNIGHT. I will fight anyone IRL who disrespects A Christmas Story though
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Dec 8, 2016 17:31
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Nobody who shoots someone over a TV sale is otherwise normal.
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Dec 8, 2016 17:43
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cash crab posted:I can safely say I have never heard this song, and that my life was richer before I did. Yes but have you seen this:  When I worked for a certain big book retail chain we sold additional outfits for the elf. They even had the balls to come out with a birthday elf. For birthdays, you see.
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Dec 8, 2016 18:24
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Elf on the Shelf is the warden of a society keeping your mind imprisoned.
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Dec 8, 2016 18:38
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It was great when multiracial Elf on a Shelfs were introduced and we started getting returns because people didn't realize that they had bought an elf that didn't match their own skin tone.
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Dec 8, 2016 19:28
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Tiggum posted:Any movie where it turns out Santa is real but no adults believe in him. Where do they think the presents come from? Free stuff just shows up in every child's house on Christmas and no one knows where it comes from or thinks to question it? And they've all heard of Santa and believed in him as children, but as adults with evidence of his existence showing up like clockwork, they've stopped? I just assume Santa works some kind of "Christmas Magic" and makes the adults think they bought all the extra gifts under the tree.
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Dec 8, 2016 19:43
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Oh boy Christmas music thread! What do you get when you mix a novelty Christmas song, Charo and a disco beat? This mess. But it's so cheesy 
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Dec 8, 2016 22:08
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Best Christmas song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHIrfSBoni0 All the classical Christmas songs are trash.
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Dec 8, 2016 22:09
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AfroSquirrel posted:It was great when multiracial Elf on a Shelfs were introduced and we started getting returns because people didn't realize that they had bought an elf that didn't match their own skin tone. That reminds me of this very long video on tumblr somewhere where this person is describing a customer who refuses to buy a black Santa figurine While typing, I did track it down: http://skellydun.tumblr.com/post/136077186880/rip-santa
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Dec 8, 2016 22:37
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Alter Ego posted:Inflatable lawn displays. I saw a news item the other day about a guy who got arrested for puncturing his neighbor's obnoxious 10-foot-tall inflatable snowman, and I felt honest-to-god sympathy for him. I drove by a house the other day that must have had at least a dozen of those decorations, but they were all deflated. It looked like some horrible hilarious Christmassacre.
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Dec 8, 2016 22:49
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AfroSquirrel posted:It was great when multiracial Elf on a Shelfs were introduced and we started getting returns because people didn't realize that they had bought an elf that didn't match their own skin tone. I'm now imagining an Alabama family that buys a black Elf on the Shelf just to put some extra fear in their kids.
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Dec 8, 2016 23:01
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I've worked a lot retail during the holidays so I've probably heard main stream Christmas song a few thousand times but there's one song that always trips me up. It was a normal morning, a coworker wobbles in to the stock room after 10 minutes of hotboxing it in her car before starting her shift, perfect for me I I don't have to worry about hiding that I'm drinking on the job today. I'm sipping a flask of bourbon and she's munching on a rice crispie treat, the 119th version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" finally finishes playing then THIS starts. We both stop and stare at the speaker dangling from the stock room ceiling like it's a floating cubist sculpture of a man sucking his own dick because neither of us is sober enough or hosed up enough to understand what in the hell we were listening to.
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Dec 9, 2016 00:11
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One of the things i like about christmas is the eternal war between people who say christmas is dead because of a starbucks cup and people who extremely disagree with this since christmas is actually dead because of socioeconomic strife and racism
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Dec 9, 2016 00:27
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One of the things i dont like about christmas is the 80s
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Dec 9, 2016 00:29
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Yes! It's that time of year where Hallmark, UP, INSP and other such channels bust out the Good Ol' Fashioned Christmas©™ movies! Let's take a look at some of them: 12 Gifts of Christmas When Anna, an unemployed painter, is unable to make ends meet, she is hired to become a personal Christmas shopper for Marc, an uptight corporate exec. As they work together, Marc learns that Christmas giving has less to do with the amount of money spent and more to do with the importance of the gift, while Anna discovers she might find success as an artist in a way she never expected. A Boyfriend for Christmas When a young girl reveals her secret to Santa that she wants a boyfriend for Christmas, she never expects it come true 19 years later! A Bride for Christmas After Jessie calls off her third engagement, she swears off serious relationships until she finds "the one." That is, until charming but chronically single Aiden comes along. But unbeknownst to Jessie, Aiden has bet his friends that he can convince a woman to marry him by Christmas, which is only four week away. A Christmas Detour Two NYC bound travelers find themselves inextricably linked when a snowstorm waylays their flight to an airport hotel in Buffalo. Eternal optimist and hopeless romantic, Paige, desperately needs to find a way to the city to meet her fiance’s parents before her wedding – and it’s up to a guy she can’t stand, fellow passenger and total stranger Dylan, to get her there. A Country Wedding A country western star returns to his hometown to sell his childhood home prior to his wedding. Upon his arrival, he meets the girl he proposed to when he was 8-years-old and she helps plan the wedding in his fiancés absence. Faced with old feelings that come flooding back, he will discover what really matters in life. A December Bride Aspiring interior designer Layla is dreading the Christmastime wedding of her cousin who’s marrying Layla’s ex-fiancé. Although Seth is the one responsible for introducing the bride and groom, she begrudgingly accepts his offer to be her date as she’s out of options. Seth gets carried away at the reception and announces they’re engaged, forcing a mortified Layla to keep up the pretense. Are you noticing a trend? Apparently, the only thing women need to be happy is to move back to their hometown and marry the first guy they come across. See ladies? It's simple. I didn't pick and choose the movies I listed either. They are literally the first half dozen or so movies listed on the Hallmark Channel website. Just awful.
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Dec 10, 2016 14:35
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AfroSquirrel posted:It was great when multiracial Elf on a Shelfs were introduced and we started getting returns because people didn't realize that they had bought an elf that didn't match their own skin tone. We used to have to ask for a reason for the return. This was in Southern Illinois and watching these people tiptoe around their racism was hilarious. One time someone tried to do an exchange the week before Christmas. We had sold all the white elves like two weeks before hand. They were livid we didn't have any white elves. I explained that the other elves function exactly the same way. "What am I supposed to tell my kids!?"
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Dec 10, 2016 16:16
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Beastie posted:"What am I supposed to tell my kids!?" Saint Nicholas is black, for starters.
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Dec 10, 2016 17:41
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Plom Bar posted:Saint Nicholas is black, for starters. Not black... more... middle eastern - like Jesus! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas
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Dec 10, 2016 22:50
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Good Christmas traditions include: Bob and Doug McKenzie's 12 Days of Christmas The Muppet Christmas Carol And This.
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Dec 11, 2016 01:03
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SIIIIIIMPLY HAAAAAVING A WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME
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Dec 11, 2016 01:56
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twerking on the railroad posted:Not black... more... middle eastern - like Jesus! Not even Middle Eastern. He was the son of a Greek family in Roman Anatolia. Then again, speculating about this is even stupider than figuring out the real race of Jesus since, on top of having no ethnographic record of his family, the modern Santa Claus has absolutely no meaningful connection to Saint Nicholas and therefore can be whatever people want him to be. 
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Dec 11, 2016 02:37
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