Hey there's a new Star Wars coming out this week....

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Hey there's a new Star Wars coming out this week....

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Look at the ol pedophile Rich Brody that the New Yorker dug out of the dungeon to review RO:

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/rogue-one-reviewed-is-it-time-to-abandon-the-star-wars-franchise

lol

From the same guy who wrote

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/what-the-seven-star-wars-films-reveal-about-george-lucas

quote:

What endures for the critics and their lay associates, for aesthetes who live for the beauty and the pleasure of movies, is Lucas�s directing�of two films, �Attack of the Clones� and, especially, �Revenge of the Sith.� If Lucas had done nothing else in his life, he�d have an honored place in my personal pantheon for that work.

It�s easy for me to say so, because I only just saw those films now, after a few days of not-quite-binge-watching of the Blu-ray set of the series. I�m nearly a �Star Wars� newbie.

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/how-the-gently caress-high-was-this-new-yorker-guy-when-he-wrote-1790058128

quote:

Listen. I am not going to try to unpack and critique the bonkers Rogue One review published by the New Yorker�s Richard Brody today. I do not even know where to begin. I am just going to blockquote some portions down below this paragraph, and I invite you to join me in making halting, inarticulate, baffled vocalizations at them.

�Rogue One� Reviewed: Is It Time to Abandon the �Star Wars� Franchise?

Constrained by a flat and inexpressive script, the film�s director lets neither the characters nor�
Read more on newyorker.com
Here are some things Richard Brody wrote about a PG-13 space adventure movie about space good guys and space bad guys firing space lasers at each other.

The director of �Rogue One,� Gareth Edwards, has stepped into a mythopoetic stew so half-baked and overcooked, a morass of pre-instantly overanalyzed implications of such shuddering impact to the series� fundamentalists, that he lumbers through, seemingly stunned or constrained or cautious to the vanishing point of passivity, and lets neither the characters nor the formidable cast of actors nor even the special effects, of which he has previously proved himself to be a master, come anywhere close to life.
I ... buh ... yuh ... whi�

Whether the downplaying of the formidable cast�s charismatic energies is an intentional downplaying of the potential risk to the characters that they play�whether it�s a matter of not actually allowing viewers to get too attached to characters or actors, not allowing viewers to be bummed out by bad news but rather breezing past it in a spirit of fealty not to these characters or performers but to the franchise�is the kind of corporate Kremlinology that would rightly take the place of criticism in assessing the substance and tone of the movie.
Wha�

There�s none of the Shakespearean space politics, enticingly florid dialogue, or experiential thrills of the best of George Lucas�s �Star Wars� entries (�Attack of the Clones� and �Revenge of the Sith�).
[falls out of chair]

Zuuuhhhhhhhhhh????????

tldr: rogue one is probably pretty good, but it appears the usual suspects will post reviews au contrarian for the clicks

# ¿ Dec 14, 2016 04:45

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 15:42

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

Man the hot takes about this movie are going to be insufferable.

I had this literal discussion in my office 1 hour ago, what gives

# ¿ Dec 14, 2016 21:20

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

I blame people acting like Star Wars is suddenly political (it's always been a little political, most media is)

I blame people beating the Tr*mp money-horse into any headline possible for mega c-c-c-combo clicks

# ¿ Dec 14, 2016 21:52

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Trip report movie owns go see immediately

# ¿ Dec 16, 2016 04:30

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

MazelTovCocktail posted:

Vader at the end.

Yeah holy poo poo

# ¿ Dec 16, 2016 16:33

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Nostalgia4Dicks posted:

Maybe it's just me but Vader's voice just seemed off for some reason, felt they could have definitely done better. There's not a lot of him--but I will say if you wanted to see some Vader you'll be pleasantly surprised

JEJ's voicing is definitely off. He phoned it in. The usual cheesy-slow cadence of his speech is gone...it's like he's doing a blind read, "gently caress you I'm JEJ pay me all the money for being this damned cyborg force demon again".

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

Fuuuuuck I was planning on seeing it with my parents on Xmas but I might sneak off and have my own private viewing? Is it a movie you can watch twice and enjoy?

Yeah I am going to see it...several times

# ¿ Dec 16, 2016 16:35

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Man I am so fuckin sick of hearing about people's opinions on the CGI when there's so many other cool things to talk about. Like, it's interesting they did it, but the arguments on who looked right/wrong are as dumb as those "the dress is blue/the dress is black" social media meltdowns. Anyways. Baze Malbus machine gun is all I want for Christmas. Also that white shaggy wookie knockoff carrying a space minigun gently caress gently caress gently caress, why didn't they bring him to Scarif gently caress, also the general getting shot down

I wish the TIE fighter on the comms tower scene from the previews had been brought back; I wish K2 magically survived and/or I hope he gets his own spinoff movie

# ¿ Dec 17, 2016 22:12

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Handsome Ralph posted:

https://twitter.com/rrrroux/status/810852734647881728

GAY MARRIAGE CANNON CONFIRMED!"

That sounds kinda metal

# ¿ Dec 19, 2016 21:41

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

This may be my autism showing itself but I don't see how "I find your lack of faith disturbing" is controversial or possibly silly in the way that "Apology accepted" and "Don't choke" are - it sounds melodramatic but not as egregiously punny. What am I missing?

# ¿ Dec 23, 2016 16:38

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Genocide Tendency posted:

Controversial? "I find your lack of faith disturbing" is one of cinema's greatest lines.

Where the gently caress was it ever called controversial or anything but awesome?

People hold it up as a parallel and an example as to why "Don't choke on your aspirations" should be accepted -- I'm struggling to figure out why.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2016 03:13

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Vasudus posted:

The Jedi faith/the force at that point in the series has been pretty much eliminated as all living practitioners sans a handful had been eliminated, every source of written knowledge had been scourged from the galaxy, speaking about it was heresy, and most people alive (humans anyway) who were around when the Jedi were still a thing are dead. Duder made an off the cuff comment about a thing that was from his perspective pure fantasy, and was subsequently proven wrong in a show of force (hurf).

I don't understand where the controversy comes from, but then again I would like to think of myself as largely autism free so maybe that's my problem.

Oh ok, so Vader was being entirely sarcastic and drat well knew the guy by all rights should have a total "lack of faith". Now that you explain it, it's obvious. Ok, I'm the autist. That should have been obvious.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2016 06:29

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

None of you would be complaining about these things if darth vader was real

Just saying

# ¿ Dec 24, 2016 16:43

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Kuroyama posted:

If he didn't put the emphasis on "choke", I would have had no problem with the line. It should've been a subtle pun, but he said it like he was telling a dad joke. Granted, it's a dad joke involving murder, but still.

shut up

# ¿ Dec 25, 2016 04:54

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Nostalgia4Dogges posted:

Ya but the subtle pun none of us gave a second thought to kind of make him seem less serious and tough y'know?

I hate sand

# ¿ Dec 25, 2016 15:11

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

https://twitter.com/carrieffisher/status/811659459307061249

https://twitter.com/carrieffisher/status/811620111752663040

https://twitter.com/carrieffisher/status/811322031803396096

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 04:30

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Han and Leia are back together at least

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 04:31

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 15:42

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Nostalgia4Dogges posted:

Don't forget

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiCGkzwW_S8

# ¿ Dec 30, 2016 18:31

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Hey there's a new Star Wars coming out this week....