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I'm sitting here watching Christmas Mass, getting drunk and high as gently caress, wondering how all of the good and correct Christian holiday observers trick their idiot children into believing Santa Clause is real? Do they just go to bed and not think twice of the fact that you and your wife are up late moving poo poo around downstairs and yelling at them every time they come out to use the bathroom or get some water or whatever? How do you keep them out? Do you tell your kids not to come downstairs because you're butt loving by the fireplace, or some other stupid bullshit? How do you fool the morons you have sired?
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Dec 25, 2016 06:19
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| # ? May 14, 2024 05:17 |
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Don't come downstairs I'm buttfucking your wife
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Dec 25, 2016 06:24
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garbage day
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Dec 25, 2016 06:25
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You should get some smarter kids who are willing to play along for the possibility of twice the presents.
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Dec 25, 2016 06:27
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The kids go to bed because otherwise Santa doesnt come. Its not rocket science.
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Dec 25, 2016 06:28
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terminal chillness posted:The kids go to bed because otherwise Santa doesnt come. Its not rocket science. Alternatively: the sooner you go to sleep the sooner you get to xmas day
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Dec 25, 2016 06:30
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You keep the presents in the trunk of your car and then bring them in through the garage. Idiot.
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Dec 25, 2016 06:31
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Happy Hanukkah!
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Dec 25, 2016 06:34
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All you really have to do is hire a homeless man to dress up in red and sleep in your house overnight one time. It's worth the bottle of smirnoff.
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Dec 25, 2016 06:53
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The same way I got them to think slender man is real
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Dec 25, 2016 07:00
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It's not hard to fool children OP. It's not hard to fool a lot of adults either.
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Dec 25, 2016 07:02
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Ein cooler Typ posted:The same way I got them to think slender man is real A cake delivered to your door with their name at the top of a list?
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Dec 25, 2016 07:04
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You seriously don't know how to trick children? It's not that loving hard.
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Dec 25, 2016 07:06
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i pay a man to buttfuck me in front of the fireplace
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Dec 25, 2016 07:25
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what was this thread about again
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Dec 25, 2016 07:25
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The kids at the daycare think Elsa is real. If pedos ever develop costume technology were fuckked
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Dec 25, 2016 07:28
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:what was this thread about again I needed the money so bad. Thansk
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Dec 25, 2016 07:28
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Dave_Indeed posted:I'm sitting here watching Christmas Mass, getting drunk and high as gently caress, wondering how all of the good and correct Christian holiday observers trick their idiot children into believing Santa Clause is real? Probably same way they get them to believe in God
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Dec 25, 2016 07:47
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"Go get in the truck, we're going to look at lights. You can start it, you've been good today, turn the heat on and I'll be right out."
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Dec 25, 2016 07:51
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How do you trick your stupid kids into thinking Satan is real?
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Dec 25, 2016 08:00
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Easy, you just rely on your credibility as their protector and guardian, the one person in the world they trust their lives to and depend on, their role model and prototype they base their life on, and use it to brazenly lie to their faces.
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Dec 25, 2016 08:00
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Kaedric posted:Probably same way they get them to believe in God this
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Dec 25, 2016 08:26
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Lawrence Gilchrist posted:How do you trick your stupid kids into thinking Satan is real? The Management posted:Easy, you just rely on your credibility as their protector and guardian, the one person in the world they trust their lives to and depend on, their role model and prototype they base their life on, and use it to brazenly lie to their faces. Kaedric posted:Probably same way they get them to believe in God Whelp
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Dec 25, 2016 08:28
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If you can't trick them into believing in Santa, what makes you think you can trick them into believing that you're a competent parent?
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Dec 25, 2016 08:44
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The best way is to be proactive and have your wife drink while she's pregnant.
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Dec 25, 2016 09:19
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The same way you trick adults into believing Marxism is real #wow #whoa
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Dec 25, 2016 18:03
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Make a habit of yelling at them every night if they make a sound or leave their beds after lights out. Then it won't be unusual on Christmas eve.
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Dec 25, 2016 19:00
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Did the Native Americans that we stole this land from believe in Santa? gently caress no they didn't and they didn't believe in individual family units either. They were a bit slow on the cloaking technology however
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Dec 25, 2016 19:10
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My parents used to put flour on the soles of my dad's shoes and make footprints in the carpet from the chimney, to the partially eaten cookies and drunken milk, to my mother's vagina, to the tree, and then back to the chimney. It was very convincing.
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Dec 25, 2016 19:16
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my dad would shut me in the closet and say that elves were working in the attic so I would wait until they would come out. but they never did
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Dec 25, 2016 19:36
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Junkfist posted:The same way you trick adults into believing Marxism is real #wow #whoa "Santa definitly exists but is very bad, like, super dumb and doesn't work. That's why we buy the presents, because santa is incompetent. Merry christmas"
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Dec 25, 2016 19:39
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Trusted adult: "Santa is a thing." Kids: "Wow, ok!" Then when my kid was too old, and he asked why parents tell kids there is a Santa, I said, "Because it is fun for kids to believe in magic while they are still young enough to not be cynical about it." And that made sense to him. GORDON fucked around with this message at 19:51 on Dec 25, 2016 |
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Dec 25, 2016 19:49
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A hammer
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Dec 25, 2016 19:49
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504 posted:A hammer That doesn't teach your kids to believe, you beat the fear of santa into them.
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Dec 25, 2016 19:52
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The night before Christmas Eve I eat three cups of glitter and then Christmas Eve I leave a huge glittery turd in the bowl and show it to the kids and say it must have been santa or an elf. e: if you can drink three bottles of Goldschlager that will work also.
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Dec 25, 2016 19:56
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spotix55 posted:That doesn't teach your kids to believe, you beat the fear of santa into them. Same thing
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Dec 25, 2016 20:34
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GORDON posted:Trusted adult: "Santa is a thing." This is correct. P.S. I was an incredibly cynical materialist as a little kid and literally never believed in Santa or God or whatever in the first place.
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Dec 25, 2016 20:38
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Some kid is going to hear from his older brother that there is no Santa and then tell all of the other kids in his class and then your dumb kid is going to start crying in front of the whole class because there is a santa his dad told him so.
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Dec 25, 2016 20:59
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I guess what I'm saying is setting your kids up to have their illusions harshly shattered by the real world is great parenting.
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Dec 25, 2016 21:00
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| # ? May 14, 2024 05:17 |
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Fool?! He's not real??? brb going to evaluate entire existence
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Dec 25, 2016 21:03
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