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GRILLARY CLINTON
Mar 5, 2016

I know the devil is real.
I know the devil is real.
if ur an evil wizard post in this thread about the spells you cast and other things like that.

personally for me i like to make potions that turn people into skeleton monsters that obey my every whim.

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have you seen my baby
Nov 22, 2009

GRILLARY CLINTON posted:

if ur an evil wizard post in this thread about the spells you cast and other things like that.

personally for me i like to make potions that turn people into skeleton monsters that obey my every whim.

potion is a good first step but you can probably work this into some kinda regular hex tbh

Pitdragon
Jan 20, 2004
Just another lurker
im an ancient lich. these days i mostly putt around on the 'net, though

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

In my opinion the good wizards are evil. *casts spell of infinite child slaughter*

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

"woah motherfuckers, i'm an evil wizard"

*smokes a bong while fighting a dragon and the dragon is lighting the weed w/ his fire breath*

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
I'm a amateur wizard. :v:

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
do you think evil wizards have regular shitters or does the motif spill over into this "inner sanctum"

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

I'm a amateur wizard. :v:

whoa you got some links we can see your work at

myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ce n'est pas ma mère
College Slice
I put on my robe & wizard hat

Fiend
Dec 2, 2001
Chaotic Neutral wizards need a place to post!

Egbert Souse
Nov 6, 2008

I put on my rove & lizard hat

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
I'm a time wizard and also I'm a piece of poo poo. I grew up in a lovely white trash town and my dad beat me and mom drank while I was in the womb probably. Anyhow, I like to stop time and rape people.

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
I'm an evil wizard. It really bugs me that (and I know it's just a movie but still) someone couldn't just follow Harry Potter to the John and shoot him in the back with a gun while he was taking a wiz. Sometimes a simple solution is better than any magic.

PostEldar
May 7, 2004

I'm in your area.
I can speak in the voices of the dead I consume.

have you seen my baby
Nov 22, 2009

The Management posted:

I'm an evil wizard. It really bugs me that (and I know it's just a movie but still) someone couldn't just follow Harry Potter to the John and shoot him in the back with a gun while he was taking a wiz. Sometimes a simple solution is better than any magic.
honestly bulletproofing magics aren't that hard but too many overlook mundane threats when preparing their defenses

don't let this happen to you

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

Shaquin posted:

do you think evil wizards have regular shitters or does the motif spill over into this "inner sanctum"

I can't speak for all evil wizards, but personally I don't even have a toilet. I cast a small portal in my underwear that teleports my poo poo into the pants of my enemies.

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
I put a spell on u

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

Moon Atari posted:

I can't speak for all evil wizards, but personally I don't even have a toilet. I cast a small portal in my underwear that teleports my poo poo into the pants of my enemies.

Ahh Ludicrous Larry's Last Laugh

Mr. Meagles
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts


I am a powerful turdomancer and must nibble upon dried up turds, which act as reagents for the casting of my dark incantations.

Fog Tripper
Mar 3, 2008

by Smythe
I just cast a spell that placed a skeleton inside each and every one of you.

have you seen my baby
Nov 22, 2009

Fog Tripper posted:

I just cast a spell that placed a skeleton inside each and every one of you.

son of a bitch

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress
Ultra Carp
I am a ripped wizard. I have no dump stat. I cast spells with my sick abs

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

Evil wizards should just be called honest wizards, imo.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

luv 2 date boys posted:

whoa you got some links we can see your work at

I don't really have a lot of spells, just some incantations and spurious alchemy. I once summoned a level 4 demon for a little while but it was mitigated by the aether. :gbsmith:

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Vim Fuego posted:

I am a ripped wizard. I have no dump stat. I cast spells with my sick abs



I wonder what he's actually doing here? Probably not killing her because he could have just cast a fireball or poo poo, bolted her dumb rear end with a crossbow.

Instead I think he is possessing her with a slut demon so she puts out because god drat look at those tits. If u know that spell there's no way you don't cast it.

Sir Presley Cheesedick in the background is an allegory for "guy friends" on facebook making passive aggressive comments on "ripped wiz" and boob girl posting date pics.

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
Sometimes after a long day of doing evil I get back to my apartment and just think about if it's all even worth it. Me in pic.

Doctor Discomfort
Jan 4, 2015

First off, true wizards are above arbitrary labels like good and evil. Second, you need to clarify if you meant specifically wizards only or mages in general such as warlocks, witches, and sorcerers. Third, you mentioned making potions which makes me suspect you made this thread because you got "Baby's First Alchemy Set" for Christmas and think you're hot poo poo now. You clearly don't know what you're doing and are going to get yourself killed.

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

Dave_Indeed posted:

I wonder what he's actually doing here? Probably not killing her because he could have just cast a fireball or poo poo, bolted her dumb rear end with a crossbow.

Instead I think he is possessing her with a slut demon so she puts out because god drat look at those tits. If u know that spell there's no way you don't cast it.

Sir Presley Cheesedick in the background is an allegory for "guy friends" on facebook making passive aggressive comments on "ripped wiz" and boob girl posting date pics.

They were just about to do it wizard-style when her dumbass boyfriend walked in on them and couldn't believe his girl was about to get nailed by a ripped wizard and his sex demon. She's shocked because now her boyfriend knows the crazy poo poo she's into that she never does with him.

Hihohe
Oct 4, 2008

Fuck you and the sun you live under


Evil wizards cant even cast a dick embiggening spell.

loving edgy no-neckbeards. Grow some hair thats not a pointy mustache.

hot date tonight!
Jan 13, 2009


Slippery Tilde
Bigby's crushing hand

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

i was buttfucked by an owlbear

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

i was buttfucked by an owlbear

and I'm sure the town guard has mishandled the entire incident

nopants
May 29, 2004

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

i was buttfucked by an owlbear

By Chuck Tingle

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.
The concepts "good" and "evil" are almost criminally naive, especially as they relate to magic. Humans are complex beings and our motivations are not usually straightforward, and this goes triple for wizards.

Normie case study: Mother Theresa. A lot of ignorant assholes will claim that she's a good candidate for a solid example of an ultimately morally good person, ignoring that she proscribed painful death as a spiritual salve to countless people while eschewing it herself. Any goon knows this. But lets go a level deeper, even. Was it good or evil of her to provide dying-places without painkillers and other modern medical conveniences in the first place? Many of the people that used them would otherwise have died in even more wretched manners if not for her, after all. But she displayed a dangerous lack of empathy in her peddling of her own idea of god. Pride too of course. Hmmm it's almost like its not quite as simple as straight good and evil to the point that the question is nearly meaningless, huh?

Like I said, the world of the occult is even more complex than that. Your average magic user regularly confers with both natural forces that many would consider "bad", such as incarnations of death like the jolly old Baron (I pity the imbecile who hasn't been able to savor a game of hold'em with Baron Samedi, cool as gently caress dude right there), and also supernatural forces that are unquestionably morally evil. I mean why learn aramaic and all that other mostly useless dead language poo poo when you can trick an imp into doing your translating for you. Yeah there is possible danger in both those cases. But evil? If using a demon to advance the cause of life is evil, I'm not sure the word even has any meaning. If rolling the dice with the Baron is bad news then you'd better just not get up in the morning. No, there is only power, and those who are unwilling to grasp it.

So I mean yeah, maybe I HAVE dropped the ghost of a nuclear weapon on the shadowlands version of Manhattan. Countless lost souls were reduced to their conponent ectoplasm and soulstuff. It was... Regrettable. But that nuke stopped a great maelstrom that could have torn a big rear end hole in the shadowlands or possibly even affected the veil. It was done in service to life. We all have to make these kinds of questionable compromises.

I get so sick of this meaningless drivel from fools. "Ooooh you worship at the feet of the Baphomet and consider no man your better, ur EVIL!" I don't worship that poo poo, and it's a symbol of personal unity you loving idiot, and I presume you nominate yourself as my better. It's loving pathetic. Kiss the head of my dick."Aaaaaawwwww but but demons!" Cuz yeah I am PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE for all the weird poo poo humanity has dumped into the goddamn ether, and should also hold myself above using it. Ponder the meaning of the two of pentacles. (it's my nuts, you need to suck on them)

Whew sorry about the long rear end rant. You evil wizard bros know how it is some days. All others, take note: its ok when WE say it.

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
Fathilus of Many Flavors

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
I'm an evil PISS-ard!!! PISSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Duke Pukem
Oct 23, 2010

Three cheers for dark beer!


I like to cast the spell of desperation when I appear in RLM's Best of the Worst videos

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

Tom Gorman posted:

I am a powerful turdomancer and must nibble upon dried up turds, which act as reagents for the casting of my dark incantations.

The Wizard Council's ridiculous taboo against fecal based magics has held back so much progress. Who is really evil?

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Shaquin posted:

Fathilus of Many Flavors

:poolgirl:

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FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy

Vim Fuego posted:

I am a ripped wizard. I have no dump stat. I cast spells with my sick abs



Ahahaha check out that fighter in back just bursting in like "durr what's up fellas"

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