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Shaquin posted:Fathilus of Many Flavors Can I get in on the reference? I know the Aruman the White/of Many Colors reference, but what's this Fathilus?
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Dec 28, 2016 06:53
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I'm a summoner by trade. I mostly call up demons from the lower planes to do my bidding. Does that make me evil?
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Dec 28, 2016 07:27
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Loden Taylor posted:"woah motherfuckers, i'm an evil wizard" 
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Dec 28, 2016 07:29
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Dec 28, 2016 07:30
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Dec 28, 2016 07:31
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lol dude put more time and effort into drawing the dragon chair than he did either of their faces.
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Dec 28, 2016 07:34
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:lol dude put more time and effort into drawing the dragon chair than he did either of their faces.
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Dec 28, 2016 07:35
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I was a wizard once, before I became what.. I do not know, but woe betide you if you gently caress up while making a trans dimensional portal into an unstable realm, where all the really powerful entities live, and especially if that realm has more than four dimensions and time is not exactly taken for granted. I had a rough patch at some point and my hopes and dreams were used as part or the traction modules for a strange machine, I hate it here and the foods awful. but credits where its due, the sex can be good.
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Dec 28, 2016 07:42
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hot date tonight! posted:Bigby's crushing hand bigby is a girls name, I hope and choose to believe
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Dec 28, 2016 09:58
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oh man i love evil wizards nice
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Dec 28, 2016 10:34
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhalpfzzFEo
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Dec 28, 2016 10:46
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Dec 28, 2016 11:22
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Oh! An evil wizard thread! Cool! Lemme just transform here-  KLAATU BARADA NIKTO  ". . ."  (poo poo I totally lost my train of thought!)
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Dec 28, 2016 11:51
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Take the right or left hand and some fat of a felon who is hanging from a gibbet beside a highway; wrap it in part of a funeral pall and, so wrapped, squeeze it well. Then put it into an earthenware vessel with zimat, nitre, salt, and long peppers, the whole well powdered. Leave it in this vessel for a fortnight, then take it out and expose it to full sunlight during the dog-days until it becomes quite dry. If the sun is not strong enough put it in an oven heated with fern and vervain. Next, make a kind of candle with the fat of a gibbeted felon, virgin wax, sesame, and ponie, and use the Hand of Glory as a candlestick to hold this candle when lighted; and then those in every place into which you go with this baneful instrument shall remain motionless.
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Dec 28, 2016 11:54
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Im in the sewers and ive tricked the kobolds into protyecting me
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Dec 28, 2016 11:56
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Isaac posted:Im in the sewers and ive tricked the kobolds into protyecting me did u get the talking sword that keldorn can use in lieu of carsomyr??
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Dec 28, 2016 12:01
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Orkin Mang posted:did u get the talking sword that keldorn can use in lieu of carsomyr?? Dont listen to his tricks
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Dec 28, 2016 12:17
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I cast a spell on an English town once. Their kids' "don't grow back" teeth grew in they would rot out of their heads. I made several kilotonnes with venture capital pounds setting up a dentist above every chemist and sausages shop in town. I told the dentists to just take all the teeth out because we needed something to make expensive dentures out of. English dentures cost a lot more because lining up human teeth in a straight row is easy. Matching the often criss-crossed lineage and history represented by a British persons teeth and often lack of half is an arduous task.
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Dec 28, 2016 12:21
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Get a big candle composed of human tallow, and fix it into a piece of hazel-wood fashioned in the shape of a U. Then, if this candle, being lighted in a subterranean place, sparkles brightly with a good deal of noise, it is a sign that there is treasure in that place, and the nearer you approach the treasure the more the candle will sparkle, going out at length when you are quite close (you must have other candles/lanterns so you wont be left without light). When there is sound reason for believing that treasure is watched over by the spirits of the dead it is good to have wax candles which have been blessed instead of common candles, and to conjure the spirits in the name of God to declare whether there is anything you can do to help them rest* *if you conjure/ask, you have to do what they say
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Dec 28, 2016 12:29
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Bismuth posted:Get a big candle composed of human tallow, and fix it into a piece of hazel-wood fashioned in the shape of a U. Then, if this candle, being lighted in a subterranean place, sparkles brightly with a good deal of noise, it is a sign that there is treasure in that place, and the nearer you approach the treasure the more the candle will sparkle, going out at length when you are quite close (you must have other candles/lanterns so you wont be left without light). When there is sound reason for believing that treasure is watched over by the spirits of the dead it is good to have wax candles which have been blessed instead of common candles, and to conjure the spirits in the name of God to declare whether there is anything you can do to help them rest* The spirit asked me to make out with its wiener, do I still have to??
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Dec 28, 2016 12:38
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:The spirit asked me to make out with its wiener, do I still have to?? I warned you about conjuring dude, you gotta
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Dec 28, 2016 12:41
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Gonna get those drat Smurfs any day now.
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Dec 28, 2016 13:29
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I am a warlock, thank you very much. And I am getting sick of the vilification of my culture.
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Dec 28, 2016 13:41
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I'm more of a neutral wizard 
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Dec 28, 2016 13:42
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GRILLARY CLINTON posted:if ur an evil wizard post in this thread about the spells you cast and other things like that. Nice try, Xandrax. I already told you that you will never surpass me as Supreme Magi of this realm. Now away with you.
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Dec 28, 2016 13:51
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Am I an evil wizard? Maybe. Is keeping The Law evil? Maybe. But The Law is that which protects us from the Things Below, and I am it's Keeper. I was born of wind and farts and brimstone and slime, and I alone hold Them back from devouring you ungrateful bitches. So anyway I made a new spell that will flay your throat if you pass on the right on the shoulder of the road, good luck with that.
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Dec 28, 2016 15:41
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i'm an evil cleric how do i get in on this action
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Dec 28, 2016 16:06
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You could always multiclass.
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Dec 28, 2016 16:16
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Eye of newt Can of corn Blood of virgin Gig of porn With these things I undo the election And provide to you a huge erection
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Dec 28, 2016 16:41
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I'm a chaotic evil wizard and this thread is something lawful.
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Dec 28, 2016 17:16
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I'm an evil whizzer. It's like being an evil wizard, except instead of casting spells I just piss all over public toilet seats.
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Dec 28, 2016 17:53
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A few thousand years back i had a territory dispute with another wizard. He had the title to this sweet magic planet and i wanted it. So anyway i poisoned his mom and while he was grieving i cast a mana storm on the whole anet and it shredded everything alive so i could roll on in and start making magic smoothies
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Dec 28, 2016 17:56
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does anyone have any experience with spellbooks or grimoires that drive their readers mad with the unfathomable dark power they contain? i have one and i'm trying to figure out how many spells i can read out of it before losing my mind
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Dec 28, 2016 18:43
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Lifehack: use mind slaves to read/transcribe from those tomes then kill em when they go nuts.
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Dec 28, 2016 18:46
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basic hitler posted:Lifehack: use mind slaves to read/transcribe from those tomes then kill em when they go nuts. Came here to post this. Just be ready to kill them immediately if they start behaving erratically. Not worth the risk!
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Dec 28, 2016 18:46
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Shredded udders Boiled liver Oiled rudders Living lizard A spell for confusion Against draft day collusion
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Dec 28, 2016 18:47
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isnt an evil wizard just a warlock?
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Dec 28, 2016 18:49
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im a wizard not an english teacher but im pretty sure it doesnt matter what u call a bad wizard
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Dec 28, 2016 18:53
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loving lol @ wizards with grey hair, too much of a bitch boy to bathe in newborn babies blood? gently caress you geezer I'm young for life!
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Dec 28, 2016 19:04
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Dec 28, 2016 19:07
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