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1. get a really big mug. put a hazelnut coffee into the kuerig and make some coffee with it. now put a hot chocolate pod in the keurig and make some hot chocolate in the same mug, then stir it all together. you can drink it yourself, or you can give it to your mom or your sweetie. 2. if you can make a keurig bounce off the ground three times and provide video evidence of doing it the inventor of keurig will give you a $50 taco bell gift card. he promised he would in his autobiography: "yeah, I did it. I made the kuerig. so what?" 3. if you're lonely at work because you had to come in on the weekend you can make the kuerig look like it is talking to you by manipulating the door of the water container so that it looks like the voice you made up for the keurig is actually coming out of the water container. don't do this when other people are around because if you get really into it and start riffing a whole conversation they'll laugh at first, but then after awhile they will get uncomfortable and later your boss will come to your desk and ask you to visit Diane in HR. 4. if you don't put a pod into the keurig and press the button anyways, you can use it to wash very tiny dishes. 5. if your coffee loving friends start ragging on your for buying a keurig, because the coffee isn't good (their words), get them back on your side by saying "yeah, but at least this coffee isn't as bad as donald trump and brexit!" people get a kick out of donald trump and brexit,. 6. if you put almonds into the empty k cup holder after you finish making your coffee in the morning then you will have a surprise snack the next time you make coffee. |
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Dec 29, 2016 18:40
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 05:26 |
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Put in a container of ranch doing sauce instead of coffee |
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Dec 29, 2016 20:42
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you can cook ramen in it
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Dec 29, 2016 20:44
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You can make a Papa John's pizza if you put one of thier garlic & butter containers in a Keurig. It's how they make pizzas, you don't think THEY use an oven and all that jazz when they can use a Keurig, do you?
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Dec 29, 2016 20:47
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similar to the mantis shrimp, the keurig machine can be used to fire a supercompact packet of hyperheated water to ward off potential threats.
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Dec 29, 2016 20:57
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For a fast snack throw a frozen turkey meatball in your Keurig. Drop the cooked meatball into your mug of delicious broth and enjoy at home or on the go with a travel mug.
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Dec 29, 2016 21:07
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Drop a cadbury egg in there for a fun way to celebrate easter.
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Dec 29, 2016 21:10
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If you close your finger in the lid it might get pricked, be careful.
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Dec 29, 2016 21:47
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don't ask about the keurig colon cleanse the less said about it the better |
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Dec 29, 2016 22:10
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batman: I became batman because a bat flew in my room while I was daydreaming about getting away with beating up the mentally ill in public. superman: I became superman because I am an only child whose mom babied him too much and now I have an inflated sense of self worth. keurigman: I'm a coffee boy and I drink the coffee. I drink the coffee all day long. *rubs hands up and down tights super fast* I'm a coffee boyyyyyyyyyy. ---------------- |
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Dec 29, 2016 22:20
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If you tickle a Keurig behind the nozzle, back and a little to the left, you can usually make it laugh and revert momentarily to it's normal gelatin state. Most Keurigs are highly trained professionals though so they'll regain composure quickly. Don't do this too often or else it won't be able to re-solidify and trust me that is a mess to clean up. |
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Dec 29, 2016 22:34
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the newer keurigs are significantly safer than the old ones in that the switch to dispense hydrochloric acid has been relocated to the underside of the unit instead of right next to the "brew" button their lawyers keep making noises about removing the unit's ability to secrete flesh-dissolving acid altogether, but honestly it's hard to give up the convenience |
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Dec 29, 2016 22:45
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guys help the keurig in my office used to dispense steaming hot coffee when i put a k cup in, but i recently swapped to an off brand and now it just spits out 10w30 motor oil no matter what i put in while i like the convenience of never having to pay BIG CASTROL SYNTEC for my oil changes, it's not nearly as refreshing and my office now smells like a mechanic shop ---------------- |
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Dec 29, 2016 22:49
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redneck nazgul posted:guys help Leverage the assets at your disposal. There are a lot of businesses that started as one thing but became another. Time to become a car
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Dec 29, 2016 22:55
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During the course of operation, you may find yourself curious about the contents of the K-Cup, this is natural, and we here at Keurig have spared no expense at making sure that the flavors and ingredients contained within each K-Cup are 100% safe and natural, and as a reminder, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should a consumer remove the protective membrane. If you find that a K-Cup has been breached, whether purposefully or accidentally, DO NOT PANIC, immediately seal all exits and locate the sealed manilla envelope that comes with each Keurig machine, the Keurig Containment Unit Protocol will instruct you further.
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Dec 30, 2016 00:04
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redneck nazgul posted:guys help my new car takes 0W20, which is kind of expensive, so I would like a keurig that dispenses this, please.
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Dec 30, 2016 07:01
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now a real good hack, and the coffee dispenser industry and/or the automotive industry doesn't want you to know this but, you can put some dispensers like the one redneck nazgul mentioned in your trunk. then, take some tubing and hook it up to your engine. any time you need some fresh oil, you just have the ol' dispenser make a cup of oil (connect it to the battery for power)! |
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Dec 30, 2016 14:35
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Put your own blood in a k-cup and brew a homunculus |
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Dec 30, 2016 18:42
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keurig is probably german for something. dunno what though lol 
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Dec 30, 2016 19:16
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Darkman Fanpage posted:keurig is probably german for something. dunno what though lol yeah, it's german for "real bad coffee" *sneers and puts hands up in that "making an effortless three pointer, swish" pose while looking around for approval* mysterious frankie fucked around with this message at 19:57 on Dec 30, 2016 ---------------- |
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Dec 30, 2016 19:55
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keurig starts with a k and has two syllables, therefore it is clear to me that it is actually owned by one of the following: Kyle somebody Kevin (my cousin) Kora somebody John Kerry Kayla somebody Kandy (that's my favorite stripper) Kathy somebody Katie somebody Kareem somebody my full list is quite long actually and I'd rather not list it in its entirety because i'm not sure who might be monitoring this thread, and i might be on the verge of a massive discovery that will shock the world. |
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Dec 30, 2016 20:50
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You may be tempted to have sex with your Keurig machine. The Keurig company does not recommend this, as they have a tendency to lie about using protection |
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Dec 30, 2016 21:06
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Fill your Keurig with Sake to make instant hot Sake bombs. Top off your Keurig with lemonade and drop a tea kcup in for a refreshing hot Arnold Palmer. Fill the carafe with vodka and jam a clementine in for a toasty screwdriver
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Dec 31, 2016 02:28
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Fill it with delicious fruit filling and drop a donut hole in for a disgusting mess that will void your homeowners insurance policy
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Dec 31, 2016 02:32
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Five Things to Consider Before Getting a Keurig: 1. Be prepared to pony up for your new coffee pal. The price for K-cup coffee is about $50/lb, and that doesn't even factor in extras like cream and sugar. Will you be able to afford your new appliance's daily needs if only top-tier pods agree with its delicate innards? 2. Think outside the box. Do you have the space for a Keurig once you bring it home? If your kitchen is on the small side, consider a 'teacup Keurig', as it is cruel to confine a standard-sized machine to cramped sideboard. 3. One coffee break is not enough. Are you able to give your Keurig the attention it deserves? Sure, you've enjoyed the office Keurig, but it's getting plenty of attention, which ensures it is socialized and well-adjusted. If you only have time to see your Keurig in the morning and neglect it the rest of the day, it can develop behavioral issues, such as leaking water, or worse, leaving grounds in your coffee. 4. Bean there, done that? Have you ever owned a small appliance before? Have you kept it in use until planned obsolescence got the better of it? Or is it relegated to the hard-to-reach cabinet above the fridge (or even worse--donated to Goodwill with its accessories left in the utensil drawer)? The toaster oven from your childhood doesn't count, but if you've had a George Forman grill, a Bullet blender, or a similar trendy gadget since you've been an adult, it's important to consider about how that turned out. You wouldn't want to bring home a cute, shiny Keurig if you'll only be putting it on Craigslist with a poor excuse and a ridiculous 'rehoming fee' in a few months. 5. Don't worry, drink coffee. If these questions have helped you realize that being a small appliance owner is not for you, fear not. There are plenty of coffee memes out there you can enjoy without the responsibility of cleaning reservoirs and storing an ever-growing collection of coffee mugs.
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Dec 31, 2016 08:00
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:my new car takes 0W20, which is kind of expensive, so I would like a keurig that dispenses this, please. 0W20? Does your oil just disapear sometimes? Is this the secret of the Keurig? Transporting zero weight motor oil through dimmensions to turn little pods into coffee?
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Dec 31, 2016 11:12
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As a proud keurig owner of nineteen years, here are the essential k- hacks that I know to take with you into this new year of keuriging: 1. If you don't want that watered down taste, just don't add water, dummy 2. Make sure you place the unit in park after every use. 3. Eat a banana, they're good for you. 4. Add beef and potato for a savory coffee stew. 5. Don't put your genitals near the device unless you have to. 6. Eat another banana. 7. If you're not sure if you can still feel pain, if you hurl yourself into a brick wall a few times, then you'll know, probably. This hack will require you to astral project yourself into the spirit realm and gather enough spirit energy to lift your physical form up and toss that puppy full on into aforementioned brick wall. I hope these will help you in your new year of k- cupping. It should be a good one, as february will see the release of k- hard mode. Stay safe, and remember, *does double finger gun motion and makes a kch sound* banana. |
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Dec 31, 2016 11:18
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Put a raisin in, and a super hot grape pops out |
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Dec 31, 2016 13:49
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ai scientist: the so-called "keurig test" hinges on whether a questioner can tell the difference between a keurig coffee maker and a human being. here it is in action. questioner 1: hello,. my name is bill. what's your name? answer 1: *slurp . . . slurp . . . hisss* answer 2: beep boop I'm a fuckin' keurig
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Dec 31, 2016 13:57
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Does your pet mouse deserve a little R&R? Grab your bistro mocha mug and jam a LUSH bath bomb into your Keurig machine to set him up with a relaxing time. For added relaxation, light some birthday candles near the mug and dim the lights.
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Dec 31, 2016 17:35
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Manifisto posted:ai scientist: the so-called "keurig test" hinges on whether a questioner can tell the difference between a keurig coffee maker and a human being. here it is in action.
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Dec 31, 2016 18:52
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If you get a notice that your toner is running low, you can simply shake the toner cartridge. This only works on earlier models, but saves you from replacing your toner cartridge prematurely and saves u money
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Dec 31, 2016 22:28
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City of Glompton posted:Five Things to Consider Before Getting a Keurig:
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Dec 31, 2016 22:57
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in desperation, a keurig can be used as a tiny toilet
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Jan 1, 2017 00:05
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:in desperation, a keurig can be used as a tiny toilet and it might even improve the coffee! haha, amirite, folks?
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Jan 1, 2017 00:06
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buy a reusable coffee pod so you can put your money in it and mr big banks can't get it |
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Jan 1, 2017 13:53
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Small amounts of Uranium in the pod area have been known to increase the taste of a normal K-pod and, in rare instances, leads to the user developing super powers. |
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Jan 1, 2017 15:57
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mysterious frankie posted:1. get a really big mug. put a hazelnut coffee into the kuerig and make some coffee with it. now put a hot chocolate pod in the keurig and make some hot chocolate in the same mug, then stir it all together. you can drink it yourself, or you can give it to your mom or your sweetie. #2 is a goddamn lie fyi |
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Jan 2, 2017 17:04
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E Equals MC Hammer posted:#2 is a goddamn lie fyi ur right it's only a  gift card and a certificate for a free mexican pizza with the purchase of a drink but it's the thought that counts ok
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Jan 2, 2017 18:40
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 05:26 |
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keurig pod (k-pod) shells do not readily decompose upon tossing them out. Scientists predict that they will not break down for at least 120 years, which makes them excellent hats for the long-lived giant tortoise. |
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Jan 3, 2017 15:37
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