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Plebian Parasite

similar to the mantis shrimp, the keurig machine can be used to fire a supercompact packet of hyperheated water to ward off potential threats.

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Plebian Parasite

During the course of operation, you may find yourself curious about the contents of the K-Cup, this is natural, and we here at Keurig have spared no expense at making sure that the flavors and ingredients contained within each K-Cup are 100% safe and natural, and as a reminder, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should a consumer remove the protective membrane. If you find that a K-Cup has been breached, whether purposefully or accidentally, DO NOT PANIC, immediately seal all exits and locate the sealed manilla envelope that comes with each Keurig machine, the Keurig Containment Unit Protocol will instruct you further.

Plebian Parasite

Manifisto posted:

ai scientist: the so-called "keurig test" hinges on whether a questioner can tell the difference between a keurig coffee maker and a human being. here it is in action.

questioner 1: hello,. my name is bill. what's your name?

answer 1: *slurp . . . slurp . . . hisss*

answer 2: beep boop I'm a fuckin' keurig

Plebian Parasite

ladybeard mcflurry posted:

ah, so it was the keurig that did cross paths with basketcombo #3. threads shifting and aligning in this web, yesss.

lol

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