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t.s. smelliot, you are a good person for doing what is literally the hardest job anyone has to do, and i am so sorry. i am truly, truly sorry. i know you probably already included this in your "not feeling emotionally dead" plans but you should really talk to someone else, another professional too, about your experiences. for one, you deserve better, no one should be holding the lives and actions of ANYONE ELSE against you for any reason. that's not just unprofessional, that's manipulative and hosed up, and it's obviously causing some post-traumatic feelings in you. you deserve so much better. *hugs*
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Jan 3, 2017 23:11
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 20:10 |
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Never think you're a bad person for burning out on a very emotionally hard and important job, bc basically everyone does. You put in your time and you helped a lot of people and you're a friggin saint for doing it, now it's time to rest (and continue helping others in maybe a less intense way) |
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Jan 3, 2017 23:24
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Also that's a choice username lol |
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Jan 3, 2017 23:27
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ladybeard mcflurry posted:t.s. smelliot, you are a good person for doing what is literally the hardest job anyone has to do, and i am so sorry. i am truly, truly sorry. i know you probably already included this in your "not feeling emotionally dead" plans but you should really talk to someone else, another professional too, about your experiences. for one, you deserve better, no one should be holding the lives and actions of ANYONE ELSE against you for any reason. that's not just unprofessional, that's manipulative and hosed up, and it's obviously causing some post-traumatic feelings in you. you deserve so much better. *hugs* Ladybeard's right. Part of healing will probably need to include reaching out to a therapist to fully recover. Anyone who's been through what you have needs help recovering. 
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Jan 4, 2017 00:09
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lats and biceps tonight dudes. im so fuckin weak but i did something i hate working out so much im eating so much cottage cheese
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Jan 4, 2017 01:10
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MrWillsauce posted:lats and biceps tonight dudes. im so fuckin weak but i did something Soon you will love working out you will enjoy the soreness that follows |
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Jan 4, 2017 01:26
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I dunno... I really hate it. When I'm doing it I just wanna stop and do nothing. I don't have very much willpower. I feel like I don't do nearly as much as I could when I go to the gym. Good thing I have a buddy who makes me do something
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Jan 4, 2017 01:36
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Byob is my gym buddy this year |
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Jan 4, 2017 01:39
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MrWillsauce posted:I dunno... I really hate it. When I'm doing it I just wanna stop and do nothing. I don't have very much willpower. I feel like I don't do nearly as much as I could when I go to the gym. Good thing I have a buddy who makes me do something hang in there willsauce. yesterday i went back to the gym after being injured and couldn't believe how weak i've become and just wanted to give up, so i know how that feels. but i know if you keep it up you'll start enjoying it
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Jan 4, 2017 01:58
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MrWillsauce posted:I dunno... I really hate it. When I'm doing it I just wanna stop and do nothing. I don't have very much willpower. I feel like I don't do nearly as much as I could when I go to the gym. Good thing I have a buddy who makes me do something Back when I used to go to the gym 5 days a week I kept waiting for that mythical moment everyone talks about where you start enjoying the exertion and soreness. I never felt it and ended up canceling my membership due to forgotten fees before I ever had the chance. Now I'm 7 months into daily dog walks and I only like it cause I get to watch my dogs ears do their flappy ear thing. I still hate getting off my butt and moving around and I doubt I'll ever actually enjoy exercise E and yeah the trick to get me back to the gym day after day was a friend to go with and make sure I was doing poo poo |
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Jan 4, 2017 02:55
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ok i want to do this!!
 music buddyfor today, I listened to two albums, Joshua Redman - Beyond and The Jimmy Giuffre 3. |
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Jan 4, 2017 08:29
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I lost a bunch of weight last year, so I guess I could do more of that. *reads t.s. Smelliot's post* and, boy, i'm going to appreciate my job a lot more also |
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Jan 4, 2017 09:08
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Latest Update: Week 13 (03-31-2017) ---------------------------------------- Oh I just found this. Haven't done any resolutions since high school, so this should be interesting--especially since it's short-term.
I guess I'll be updating this post ---------------------------------------- Progress: Week 1 (01-06-2017) - Was able to do some gestures! A lot of gestures within that hour too actually! It was fun since I didn't have to worry too much about proportions yet, so hopefully by March I'll have things a little more fleshed out. 8319 × 2687 pixels holy moly!  Consists of both 30-second and 45-second gestures. 8 days alcohol-free. Technically stopped alcohol last Friday, December 30th, but only because I'm on antibiotics right now. Hopefully after those are all gone I can try to commit to not drinking for real lol. * * * * * Week 2 (01-11-2017) - More gestures! I'm having fun with them for now, but once I get faster, I'll be drawing poses for longer than 30 and 45 seconds each. 8267 × 2631 pixels.  Off of antibiotics and have gotten used to being surrounded by half-empty liquor bottles and not having any urge to drink. 13 days alcohol-free! See y'all next update! * * * * * Week 3 (01-18-2017) - So I got pretty carried away this week with gestures. Drew 441 this past week. Resized the image a tad bit smaller than the previous updates (also because it had a very very huge file size omg), but it's all good. Progress is probably not gonna get any better than this update--although it'd be great if I drew even more per week haha. 5000 x 6944 pixels.  Still 30 & 45-second gestures. 20 days of no alcohol! Can't wait for the 1-month alcohol-free milestone! * * * * * Week 4 (01-25-2017) - The website I use to draw my gestures award drawing "certificates" if I draw a certain number of hours while signed on to an account. Been trying to reach the 10-hour certificate by drawing at least 30 minutes a day. I didn't think I'd be drawing so much, especially since I haven't drawn this much in so many years. I might have to tweak my resolution goal when it's February because 1 hour a week is nothing compared to how much time I'm actually drawing on this gesture website. 5000 x 10600 pixels at 30 & 45-second gestures. Linking it because it's a HUGE file and it doesn't need to load in this thread. 27 days later and still no alcohol! If I make it to February, I'll pour the last of my leftover vodka from last year down the drain. It's like watching money being thrown away, but I mean I've been sober all month so far and I don't wanna get tempted. * * * * * Week 5 (02-01-2017) - Last Thursday I got my first drawing certificate for drawing for 10 hours.  That's a lot of time drawing, which is a huge accomplishment for me since I never thought I'd be able to dedicate so much time to scribbling. Gonna try to draw for a longer duration since I dedicated January to only 30 & 45-second gestures in hopes to gain pencil mileage. Hoping to draw with anatomy in mind this month... and if I'm feeling confident enough try focusing on some head and hands. It's like art school or figure drawing class--except free and with no stress at being awful among your peers. 8000 x 6000 pixels at 30 & 40-second gestures. Linking it since it's huge. I think imgur resizes extremely large images if the width exceeds 8000px (my image width was originally 10000px), but I'm not entirely sure. 34 days straight of no alcohol! Poured half a liter of last year's vodka down the drain. Felt dirty doing so, but I know it's for the best. If I need to drink, I'll have to go out and buy some now. Updated my resolutions and added one about not being such a hoarder lol. Maybe I can do some cleaning while I get rid of stuff. * * * * * Week 6 (02-08-2017) - Still trying to draw for 30-minutes a day. It's actually getting harder because I think I'm getting a little frustrated at the lack of improvement. It's just been a month, but I still feel I should be able to draw faster and more efficiently. I might actually branch out and ask for help/advice since I'm kinda stuck. Gestures have been extra hideous since I've been trying to do some fundamental shapes and studies, so instead of that here's a screenshot of the achievements page on Quickposes:  I don't draw on my own all that often, so if I break my streak it's because I haven't completed my 30-minutes for that day. I don't count the minutes/hours drawing other things as part of my resolution. 41 days alcohol-free! As for getting rid of things, I'm sending some of my old clothes to a friend who wants to practice sewing without buying fabric. So there's that. * * * * * Week 7 (02-15-2017) - Quick update since nothing's really changed since last week. Still drawing 30+ minutes daily, but getting discouraged since I don't think I'm improving. 48 days alcohol-free, so that's good. My room is still a bloody mess though...  * * * * * Week 8 (02-22-2017) - Been branching out from my gestures into drawing hands and feet. Really frustrating, and although difficult I'm having fun with them, so that's good. Still feel I'm not improving with my gesture drawings, but I'll probably change that up in March. Improvement really isn't my resolution though--the habit of drawing everyday is really what I'm trying to get used to doing. 55 straight days of no alcohol! Been wanting to drink some of my problems away, but then I just watch youtube videos instead haha. I hope that solution sticks for a while. As for getting rid of junk, I ended up making my room messier than it was last week. Need to pay a visit to the recycling center, but it's just such a burden. * * * * * Week 9 (03-01-2017) - Got my "Improver" certificate from Quickposes a day after my last update. 30 hours of drawing in less than 2 months is a huge accomplishment for me. Still drawing at least 30 minutes a day. The next certificate will be at 70 hours, but even if I drew a max limit of 60 minutes a day, I won't be able to get the certificate until probably mid-April. That's alright though. Will not be adding that next certificate to my resolution list because it'll be impossible to get by the end of the challenge. Here's what I've accomplished:  My hope for this last month is to be brave enough to tackle faces and even costumes. Figure if I don't try it before the thread ends, I'll probably never try it until I get jealous of people being so good at drawing haha. Been feeling bummed out lately, so it's getting harder to get myself motivated. I've been sober for 62 days straight now, but it's hard suppressing my urge to drink my problems away almost all the time. Don't know if that counts as withdrawal symptoms. Oh well. My old liquor bottles are still everywhere and I need to recycle them. Hopefully the next time I go to the bank I'll be more prepared to do just that at the recycling center nearby. * * * * * Week 10 (03-08-2017) - Quick update. Am still drawing at least 30-minutes a day. Been trying to do faces, but they are pretty awful lol. Slow and steady. Been alcohol-free for 69 days straight (lol nice) so that's good. Still a slob and can't get rid of my things so easily. Need to buckle down and just throw stuff out omg. * * * * * Week 11 (03-15-2017) - Another Quick update. Still drawing 30 minutes a day. If I remember, I'll take a screenshot of my Quickposes progress, though here is a sample of a session I did yesterday the 14th:  Been alcohol-free for 76 days straight! Woo! Also I was able to clean a little and have bottles ready to be recycled. They are just in trash bags in my car lol. * * * * * Week 12 (03-22-2017) - Starting to run out of things to say as we get closer to the end of March. Still drawing 30 minutes a day. Here's my Quickposes streak:  Lol nice! Been alcohol-free for 83 consecutive days! Speaking of which, I FINALLY recycled all my vodka bottles from last year:   A whole $0.49! You don't get much money for those bottles, but I wanna say I had about 10 months of empty liter bottles that littered my room. Took a while to get rid of them lol. I think next week will be my last update unless something happens right before April 1st. We'll see. * * * * * Week 13 (03-29-2017) - Don't know if this will officially be my last update, but just in case I forget to update on the 31st, Friday, I'll just say that I've officially made it a habit to draw a half hour every day. Haven't skipped a day or anything and now it feels odd not drawing once a day. Happy to have accomplished that. Haven't had alcohol in 90 days straight! As for getting rid of things I don't need, I'm much more organized and not as much of a hoarder as I was last year, which is an improvement. Still gotta work on just letting go of stuff and just cleaning, but I'm proud of how far I've come these 3 months. Will try to update again before April 1st! Regardless, I'm so glad I participated. * * * * * Week 13 (03-31-2017) - Hey guys! It's still the 31st where I am and here's my last update! Took a screenshot of my progress on Quickposes:  Omg just noticed the "Window Snip" in the screenshot whoops! Haha! And here is a comparison of some gestures from my first attempt on January 4th and today's gestures both 45 seconds (6,943 x 2,301 pixels omg):  Looking at it now... I mean there is improvement in confidence, so that's good. Still got a long way to go though. 92 alcohol-free straight days! As someone who drank myself to sleep 4-6 days a week for over 2 years, refraining from drinking was a very big deal for me. This was fun, btw! Hoping to keep this up after the thread ends! Thanks for the motivation! schmarson fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Apr 1, 2017 |
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Jan 4, 2017 19:55
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If you're feeling apprehensive about taking on a resolution, don't be and sign up. A little motivation works wonders on your ability to get poo poo done.
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Jan 5, 2017 03:39
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didn't work out but I ate so much. I just kept eating even when I was full and then I ate some more. all day. I'm also pretty sore, so I know I'm doing something right. I don't like the actual working out, but the nonstop eating part of getting big is pretty fun. maybe I should get protein powder or something but nah
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Jan 5, 2017 05:29
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MrWillsauce posted:didn't work out but I ate so much. I just kept eating even when I was full and then I ate some more. all day. I'm also pretty sore, so I know I'm doing something right. I don't like the actual working out, but the nonstop eating part of getting big is pretty fun. maybe I should get protein powder or something but nah honestly dude get protein powder and eat carbs. But you have to balance it with exercise. Dont do cardio or you'll be working against yourself in the beginning. Do combo exercises, like ones that work more than 1 muscle group. (bench, squat, deadlift). The cool thing about this regimen is working out isn't too time consuming. It's like bursts of effort instead of a prolonged period of wanting to die. Also, creatine is no joke and isn't terrible for you. |
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Jan 5, 2017 05:48
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anyone have any suggestions for what to do to drop weight? i need to lose 20lbs to be happier, 40lbs to be back at my weight 2 years ago. i've had success with combo of warmup cardio -> lift weights -> long cardio immediately after but i dunno if i can spend that kind of time in the gym nowadays and also want to come up with a routine i can stick with to start my apartment gym has a fly machine, elipticals & bikes & treadmills, some medicine balls up to, like, 12lbs, and not much else~
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Jan 5, 2017 05:59
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yeah I'm all about those compound lifts. I guess I'll look into some protein. I'm already eating a lot of carbs and protein though. I eat pretty well
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Jan 5, 2017 06:41
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MrWillsauce posted:yeah I'm all about those compound lifts. I guess I'll look into some protein. I'm already eating a lot of carbs and protein though. I eat pretty well Don't eat a bunch of carbs, that is very very very bad for your health.  Drink a bunch of whole milk and protein powder. Like 2-4 scoops of powder a day and at least a half gallon of milk. Try to drink a full gallon if you can. Milk is a great balance of fat, carbs, vitamins, etc. Eggs are also hella good and still make sure you're eating a bunch of veggies and fruits! It will be very hard at first, but if you work out it makes it a lot easier. |
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Jan 5, 2017 07:05
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Quidthulhu posted:anyone have any suggestions for what to do to drop weight? i need to lose 20lbs to be happier, 40lbs to be back at my weight 2 years ago. Count your calorie intake and go for 45 to 60 minute runs about 5 days a week.
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Jan 5, 2017 07:25
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guns for tits posted:Count your calorie intake and go for 45 to 60 minute runs about 5 days a week. Myfitnesspal is great for tracking calories. It's working really well for me
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Jan 5, 2017 07:38
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Yeah, I am 6'2'' and i was up to 240 like 6 months ago, I do all the cooking in my family and we have always eaten healthy meals. I did find cutting carbs significantly helped me lose weight!
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Jan 5, 2017 16:40
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FluffieDuckie posted:Myfitnesspal is great for tracking calories. It's working really well for me it's heartbreaking to watch your duck army slowly twist out of formation |
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Jan 5, 2017 16:56
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FluffieDuckie posted:Myfitnesspal is great for tracking calories. It's working really well for me same. it's also nice for tracking activity like dog walks and gardening as opposed to just running/lifts, etc. i started the paperwork process for filing a business closure and a business open under a new name, wish me luck. gently caress.
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Jan 5, 2017 18:21
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i would have to say that my resolution is to post less in BYOB, thanks |
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Jan 5, 2017 19:43
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i know my update isn't due till this weekend, but instead of working on my resume for a couple of hours this week i worked on it all new years day, applied for a volunteer job, got an interview, and just got offered the job
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Jan 5, 2017 22:15
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Jan 5, 2017 22:19
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FluffieDuckie posted:i know my update isn't due till this weekend, but instead of working on my resume for a couple of hours this week i worked on it all new years day, applied for a volunteer job, got an interview, and just got offered the job congratulations!!! i hope it's something awesome!
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Jan 5, 2017 22:23
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it's a volunteer finance associate at a group that provides counseling and legal services to refugees and immigrants so the cause is pretty awesome. the job is going to be frustrating. like they have no accounting procedures in place despite being around for 5 years
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Jan 5, 2017 22:25
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well, gently caress. i mean i know it's going to be frustrating, but thank you for doing the frustrating job because i am 100% behind helping refugees and immigrants. you are a real real real good egg, duckie, and i like you lots.
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Jan 5, 2017 22:26
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Jan 5, 2017 22:36
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wait are carbs good or bad I like eating them so I'm gonna say they're pretty good I eat a lot of fruit and not enough veg I think. I mostly eat grilled cheese sandwiches though
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Jan 6, 2017 02:51
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MrWillsauce posted:wait are carbs good or bad As with all things, they are fine in moderation. Your body uses them for energy, and cutting out an entire food group is unsustainable in the long term, and encourages extreme and/or disordered eating behaviour. Just eat real, adult meals instead of junk food imo.
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Jan 6, 2017 03:59
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sig brought to you by the amazing & beautiful vanisher, feat. Helle Woods, artisinally designed by Death Sext !!!
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grilled cheese is real. real good
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Jan 6, 2017 04:00
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MrWillsauce posted:grilled cheese is real. real good Dude use myfitnesspal. Put your food in there for a couple of days. It will tell you if you're eating too many carbs
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Jan 6, 2017 04:11
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im not really worried about dieting or whatever. I can get a little fat that'd be cool. I'm just trying to put on mass
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Jan 6, 2017 04:12
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FluffieDuckie posted:Dude use myfitnesspal. Put your food in there for a couple of days. It will tell you if you're eating too many carbs
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Jan 6, 2017 04:24
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FluffieDuckie posted:Dude use myfitnesspal. Put your food in there for a couple of days. It will tell you if you're eating too many carbs yes exactly, this is the best way of doing things if you are (like me) bad at keeping track of things. mrbradlymrmartin posted:if i dont listen to my stomach tell me when to eat why would i listen to a computer my stomach is a dumbfuck and it thankfully didn't program mfp so i'm gonna listen to the computer.
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Jan 6, 2017 04:28
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MrWillsauce posted:im not really worried about dieting or whatever. I can get a little fat that'd be cool. I'm just trying to put on mass you'll mess up your blood sugar eating tons of carbs and your body will start craving carbs more and you'll feel like poo poo all the time (and physically poo poo all the time too). grilled cheese isnt that bad though, not really a crazy amount of carbs in it.
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Jan 6, 2017 04:44
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ladybeard mcflurry posted:yes exactly, this is the best way of doing things if you are (like me) bad at keeping track of things. my stomach hates me and if i dont listen to it it makes my life even more miserable, and i cant eat any health food it all fucks my guts up :/
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Jan 6, 2017 04:51
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