2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Psydude gay
army gay
gay dudes in the army gay
suck my dick from the back
qtiyd

# ¿ Dec 31, 2016 20:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 03:51

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

One more thing I don't miss about the Army: buying my own poo poo to replace the poo poo you get issued.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2017 05:11

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

The Rat posted:

Nods chaaaaaat

# ¿ Jan 3, 2017 04:59

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I can't remember the last time I ran a mile. What I'm getting at is running blows.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2017 21:20

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Pesticide20 posted:

The only one I've got in my ASUs is your mom going down on me though?

my son

# ¿ Jan 6, 2017 23:44

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Mr. Nice! posted:

That O5 pissed someone right the gently caress off. Was base locked down and he was still out in town instead of on base with his troops?

Also at an E8 getting hosed for 125 large for BAH fraud and got reduced to loving corporal.

I'm betting specialist instead of corporal. The point of the demotion would be to make him not be an NCO anymore.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 18:01

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Take a massive paycut to go back to doing something I hate? Sign me up!

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 21:35

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

psydude posted:

European MBAs are also a hell of a lot cheaper and faster than American MBAs.

Just like your mom

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 18:22

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Welcome to the Army. *kicks you in the balls*

# ¿ Jan 21, 2017 05:09

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

DoktorLoken posted:

My ARNG discharge orders (ETS is a handful of days away) just hit my iPerms and say "You are discharged from the Army National Guard and as a reserve of the Army." and Current Organization Identification Code: "NONE OR NO MILITARY STATUS (W)"

Does this mean I'm not being transferred to the IRR? It seems to read that way.

Same thing happened to me.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2017 06:45

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Soulex posted:

There is a group text circulating Facebook where a joe told top to gently caress himself. He didn't know it was a group text.

Screenshot?

# ¿ Feb 20, 2017 22:08

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Naked Bear posted:

I remember getting a call a couple of days after I went on terminal leave, when I was somewhere in west Texas by that point (2,000 mi. away), asking about where something was. Guy wasn't even in my platoon, what the gently caress are you calling me for? Go talk to the guy who handles that. Jesus.

A few months after that, I had thirteen missed calls at about four in the morning from my old PSG. No thanks.

Did he leave a message?

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 03:59

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

You better beat on that door like the fist of god and deafen the board with your report

# ¿ Feb 22, 2017 01:36

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

GREAT SATAN posted:

I thought you gentlemen would get a kick out of this one

The jacket, bag, and gallon jug of water all scream douchebag. Hated these guys when I was in. I can't see his feet but I bet dollars to donuts he's wearing tan boots with the pants tucked in.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2017 17:10

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

If it makes you feel better I'm out of the Army enjoying the good lfie

# ¿ Feb 28, 2017 05:26

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

TBeats posted:

i took a pretty solid left hook during the clinch drill.

I drat near spat out my mouthguard and another guy lost a tooth. This was with full-time instructors at Knox.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 05:04

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

not caring here posted:

This will basically out anyone who is only capable of growing a whispy pube stache, and a patchy trailer park meth beard.

As you SHOULD be outed.

Man I shave my shame off every day no need to be harsh

# ¿ Mar 7, 2017 23:45

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Guys if we ever get forced back in for WWIII and a gas attack comes, just shove the diazepam auto injector in my leg and leave me. Better off that way.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2017 01:25

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I'm laughing pretty hard at the last page of posts. You guys actually give enough of a poo poo to argue over this.

gently caress the army my lazy vet rear end is out

# ¿ Mar 8, 2017 18:54

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Zeris posted:

I am MTOE'd Katy Perry and Gwen Stefani for my dick but am often forced to make do with less

Ashlee Simpson won the low bid so you get her.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2017 20:25

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Pee pee checking and heat casualties

# ¿ Mar 9, 2017 01:10

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Jarhead accurately captured what would really happen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h09GiPN-Nss

# ¿ Mar 9, 2017 02:07

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

mlmp08 posted:

I had a soldier way back when I was a PL who did not have a car, was basically taking leave to burn use/lose days and to avoid a bunch of lovely inventory layout duties, and whose plans consisted of sitting in the barracks playing video games and seeing his brother for a day or so while he was traveling through. He didn't own a car. He didn't submit a trips form. BN S1 kicked it back, despite the 1SG and I explaining the situation.

He got that kind of angry motivation that means you dedicate hours to telling someone to gently caress off. He did some drafting as a hobby and drafted a layout of the buildings between his barracks and the BN staff duty desk. He then made a to-scale stencil of foot-prints. He stenciled them in, to scale of a regular stride, going down the stairs, out our battery, to BN staff duty, then back to his room. He even drafted in a smoke break at the smoking pit on the way back. He had me sign the bottom where he marked this trip low risk. I made sure the packet bypassed S1 and went straight to our BN XO's inbox, who was the acting BN CDR (some stupid incident meant that all leave forms were going to BN). I got a call a couple hours later and the BN XO was drat near in tears from laughter and told me the S1 wouldn't require trips forms for people who don't own cars anymore.

I hate myself for not having taken a picture or scanned the thing.

I'd put that guy in for an AAM.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2017 16:53

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Whipped Buttcheeks posted:

When I retire I'm going to think up some proprietary ~~privacy invasion~~ risk mitigation software to sell to the Army and make millions. Maybe a transponder app for your phone that pings your location to the chain of command in real time. I'll call it Battle Buddy, and it will allow your team leader to the BC and everyone in between to FaceTime you on a call you can't decline at any given moment to chew you out when you fail to stop for the 45 minute break you put on your TRIPS. I'm going to make millions.

Anybody got a grenade?

# ¿ Mar 10, 2017 20:52

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

leadership.jpeg

# ¿ Mar 13, 2017 17:56

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Mustang posted:

I cleared CIF two different times at Benning and never had any issues so I never really got the hatred for CIF

I cleared CIF at Benning but they didn't clear any of the poo poo off of my electronic file. Took two years to get that corrected. gently caress Benning CIF.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2017 20:18

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

A is for gently caress this poo poo I'm out

# ¿ Mar 21, 2017 16:20

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

They say that in the Army, the chow is mighty fine

# ¿ Mar 21, 2017 16:59

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

if you ban food trucks i will cut you

# ¿ Mar 23, 2017 19:05

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Woof Blitzer posted:

No joke I am seated next to a nasty girl SGM at this very moment on a plane

how fat is he

# ¿ Mar 25, 2017 15:50

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Now you just have an obnoxious spelling error instead.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2017 17:38

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

oh boy more flair

and more time stolen from training schedules

# ¿ Mar 27, 2017 18:43

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Sell them to airsofters, seriously

# ¿ Mar 31, 2017 20:18

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I had unused silks and waffles and I ended up giving them to my wife. She's perpetually cold and lives in them during the weekends.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2017 03:53

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

my old condo was electric everything; heat, hot water, etc

during the polar vortexes we had a couple years ago our electric was $600

this month at my house built 130 years before said condo my bill was 180

condo must not have had stair insulation

# ¿ Apr 1, 2017 16:25