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Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

I've been lurking in the other thread for a while, guess I might as well sign up. Put me on team TNA

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Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Blooming Brilliant posted:

I'm enjoying the RAW discord.

TNA's discussions pretty much around new promo ideas for Steiner

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Senerio posted:

Every thread. Like clockwork. A Mark Henry streak.

If we had Henry we would have fed him to Steiner on the first show

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Raw and Smackdown folks: PM me a guess for who is under the Steiner mask and the first person to guess correctly gets an av cert after the reveal

Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Jan 8, 2017

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



quote:




Hey Wrestling Fans this is the TNA Today Blog written by yours truly, Jeremy D. Borash. I’ve been here in the hospital room of the comatose Eric Bischoff for a week. I convinced one of the nurses I’m his son and I’ve been hiding out in the room living off of vending machine sandwiches. Why am I doing this? Because when I got out of college I said I’d do anything to get ahead in life, and I’m going to do that by being the first face the boss sees when he wakes up! He’ll never forget my face, and I can finally get that promotion to Ringside and afford real cafeteria food instead of these awful sandwiches. Anyways, that’s enough about my career goals!

Do you know who is under the Steiner mask? Who has had beef with Immortal? That’s a dumb question, who hasn’t had beef with Immortal? Sting, Beer Money, Kazarian, Daniels, Van Dam, Le Brian Kendrick, the list of people with motive goes on and on. We’ll see if more evidence pops up in the coming weeks.
Just this week I briefly ran into AJ Styles who, returning from vacation said he had a both a very “relaxing” and “transformative” experience. He was awfully in a hurry, and something about him definitely seemed….different…

It is crazy backstage as we have a slew of new faces, some really amazing workers from all over the world have come here to TNA to test their mettle in the Impact Zone. We even have another Olympian! Speaking of Olympian, Kurt Angle is injured and will be needing a few months to recover. We wish him the best and a speedy recovery. We love you Kurt!

Well, that’s enough big news for now. Oh! Eric is moving! Finally! This may be my chance!

Ugh, he didn’t wake up. I could have sworn I heard something, although he could have just been breathing really hard. I swear though, I heard him whisper something about “violins”. Weird.

Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 16:05 on Jan 13, 2017

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005


quote:


Hey guys, Jeremy D Borash here! We've got an amazing show for you tonight. It's much better than this miserable existence I lead, subsisting on garbage tier sandwiches in Eric Bischoff's Hotel Room. Without further ado, here's our announce team Mauro Ranallo, Taz, and Mike Tenay!

Hulk Hogan, Scott Steiner, Bully Ray, Abyss, and Jeff Jarrett begin the show in the ring, dressed in black. Hogan announces that due to the vicious and uncalled for attack on Eric Bischoff, Easy E has been hospitalized, and is in a coma. Hogan says that he trusts his friend is tough and will pull through, but until that happens, Hogan will devote his life to avenging his fallen comrade. Hogan says that he knows who the fake Scott Steiner is, The Man In The Steiner Mask, as there's only one man with the gall to do such a thing. And that man is...STING! Hogan demands Sting come out and get his just beating. The lights go out, and when they return, Sting is in the ring, alongside his closest ally, THE BIRD! Sting points his bat at Immortal, daring them to come at him, unless, of course, they want to hear him out. Sting insists that he isn't the fake Scott Steiner, BUT he has a good idea who is. But who could it be? Who, who, who... At this, Bully Ray and Abyss charge, but the lights go out and when they return, Sting is nowhere to be found. Hogan is so angered at continuing to be made a fool that the entire roster will suffer for it. Tonight, every match will be a LOSER LEAVES IMPACT MATCH, and Sting, you're going to be in the Main Event against Samoa Joe!]

A video montage of Eric Bishoff getting beaten up by the likes of Rob Van Dam, Kazarian, and many others plays over a very poorly done cover of Sarah Mclachlan's "I will remember you"

Ink Inc are in the ring, awaiting their opponents, who turn out to be #DEMBOYS THE BRISCOES! Poor Ink Inc. is, for the second straight week, helpless before the aggression of their opponents, and in a surprisingly quick match, Jay pins Shannon Moore off the Jay Driller, and the first victims of the evening are Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal!

Ric Flair is backstage to interview Beer Money, who don't seem worried tonight's stipulation. When asked about they dangers of losing their Impact careers tonight against Mexican America, Roode and Storm point out that they are the TNA Tag Team Champions, and while having this added stipulation sprung on them is bullshit, everyone is in the same boat. If after their confidence last week in being the best they falter at the first hurdle then why should they be here, wasting the fans' valuable time and BEER! MONEY!

Traci Brooks takes on Winter, and try as she might, Traci can't get Winter finished off. Winter, however, can finish off Traci quite easily. Farewell, Miss Brooks.

Hulk Hogan is in Eric Bischoff's office alone, going over financials and "prospect lists". He looks at one page, then shakes his head and says "Far too Swiss." Then, his phone rings, and from Hogan's end of the conversation, it seems that The Man In The Steiner Mask is willing to reveal his identity tonight, but if and only if Hogan comes to the ring later on, alone.

Kid Kash, Matt Morgan, and Jessie Godderz vs. Prince Puma and FUTURE SHOCK BAY BAY. The action is fast and furious as the team of new signees feverishly tags in, and the Aztec Warrior Prince Puma shows off a variety of insanely athletic flips and aerial maneuvers while Future Shock use devastating strikes and tag team maneuvers. Puma hits a 630 senton on Matt Morgan for the pin while Godderz and Kash are held at bay by vicious strikes from Cole and O'Reilly.

An interesting techno theme plays, and out comes the Tango Turkey AJ Styles! He wears a sparkling silver bodysuit with wings, and is accompanied by two unfamiliar boys in masks and sparkly roman style half togas who carry feather fans. They pose at the top of the ramp then come down to the ring for a match against Rob Terry. Styles takes off the bodysuit to reveal pastel trunks and gear. He and Terry go back and forth, and when Styles is knocked into the corner his boys furiously fan him. Styles rebounds and hits the Styles Clash for the win and celebrates with his Boys, posing in the ring.

Ric Flair does an in ring interview with AJ Styles who talks about his vacation on Fire Island and how he has transformed into the Tango Turkey. AJ gently caresses the faces of his boys as Flair stands there perplexed while Impact goes to commercial

Le Brian Kendrick (pronounced Kendreek) is backstage awkwardly flirting with Velvet Sky. "I liked your video last week Velvet it uhh...really....showed off your artistic side." Velvet groans, "I'm married, Brian." Brian shakes his head in disbelief "What? When did this happen? Well, it doesn't matter. I'd treat you better than he ever could!" Austin Aries walks up, laughing at Kendrick's ridiculously lovely game. "Kendrick you loser. Let a real man show you how it's done! None of that stupid beta poo poo. Watch, this is called Kino Escalation." He turns to Velvet and places his hand on her elbow for a couple seconds, "So, Velvet. How about we go back to my hotel room for drinks and listening to some Alex Jones episo..." Before Aries can finish his proposal, a foot comes out of nowhere and catches him square in the face! Aries crumples in a lifeless heap to reveal Io and Mio Shirai standing behind him, alongside Misaki Ohata (who is very cute), and Io kisses Velvet. Velvet glances over at Kendrick "No one can treat me better than my beautiful Io. I'm perfectly happy being her hot Skyjin wife." The four of them step over Aries's motionless body as Kendrick gawks, fedora half falling off his head.

Io and Mio Shirai, Misaki Ohata, and The Hot Skyjin Wife versus Jacqueline, ODB, Rosita, and Sarita. Io and Mio come out like buzzsaws and unleash a flurry of devastating leg and head kicks to Rosita and Sarita. Misaki Ohata ragdolls Jacqueline with a series of german suplexes while Velvet Sky tangles with ODB. The ref finally restores order in the match as Io, Mio, and Misaki dominate the heavily outmatched TNA veterans. Io pins Sarita with a beautiful moonsault.


Beer Money vs. Mexican America for the TNA Tag Team Championships in a Loser Leaves Impact Match. As Hernandez and Anarquia get into the ring Hernandez slips while stepping over the ropes and injures his ankle. The ref comes to check on him and Hernandez indicates he can't compete. The ref looks at Anarquia then back to the injured Hernandez who is unable to put weight on his right ankle. The show has to go on, this is a Loser Leaves Impact Match! The ref yells something to the ring announcer. This match will go on as a Handicap Match, Beer Money vs. Anarquia! Anarquia never has a chance as he is beat down then gets caught with the Drinking While Investing for the 3. Hernandez laughs and walks away from the match, having faked his way out of getting fired as Anarquia buries his face in his hands.

Samoa Joe is in his locker room preparing for his match, when in walks Okato, who wishes him luck. Joe is still perplexed by this strange Japanese man who seems to want to be his friend, but is grateful.

Jerry Lynn is here to defend his TNA Television Title, and his opponent is..Der Generisches, a luchadore from Quedlinburg, Germany! Jerry Lynn uses every veteran trick in the book, from eye pokes to feet on the ropes after a school boy, to even pulling out a stack of quarters from his trunks, but that last one works against him as his loaded fist gets kicked back into his face, and Der Generisches hits a BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAH to become the NEW Television Champion! The new Luchador celebrates wildly while Lynn looks on in shock at having lost his title, and his job!

A jobber is in the ring, when out come Robbie E and Murphy. They say they've seen what's happened to other people, so they're going to grab their opponent now, before Hogan realizes what's going on. The jobber, to his credit, seems fine with this.

Perhaps Robbie E and Murphy should have chosen a better time. When the jobber takes off his hooded robe they are in shock, it's Unbreakable Michael Elgin! Elgin moves with freakish quickness and grabs Robbie E, using him as a human battering ram to bash the poo poo out of Murphy. Elgin hits a delayed vertical suplex on Robbie E, then tosses him around a bit. Elgin finally pins Murphy with the Big Boy Bomb.

We get a video package where a large man declares how much he loves his young son and wants to set an example for him, and that is why he's coming to TNA to break every hero in half so his son will have no choice but to idolize him, Kevin Steen.

Sting vs. Samoa Joe starts out quickly as both men trade strikes in the center of the ring. Joe works on Sting's legs with kicks and holds in order to prevent him from locking in the Scorpion deathlock. Sting hits a series of Stinger splashes on the big man, who rolls out of the ring. Sting pursues Joe when Anderson comes out of the crowd and Jarrett comes sprinting down the ramp. The ref calls for a double DQ when Mr. Anderson attacks Joe and Jeff Jarrett attacks Sting. Both men are staying in the Impact zone!

Hulk Hogan comes to the ring furious at the result of the last match, and declares he's done just as The Man In The Steiner Mask has requested. Out from the crowd comes The Man In The Steiner Mask, still armed with the baseball bat he used on Bischoff. Hogan gets in the face of this mysterious person, and demands to know who he is. Unmask, you coward! The man slowly lifts off the Steiner Mask, and from our camera angle we can see Hogan go pale, and when our camera rotates around, we see it, the face of the fake Scott Steiner. It's...SCOTT STEINER! Steiner punches Hogan and puts him in the Steiner Recliner while yelling completely unintelligible things as we go off the air.

Not a bad show!



quote:

Show opens with a video recap of Impact, showing Steiner getting furious at Sting, Bischoff selling for the bird, Steiner-RVD Cage Match, and Bischoff eating a bat to the face.

Jeff Cobb debuts against Matt Morgan. Cobb comes in like a madman to avoid Morgan's long reach and surprises the big man with his freakish strength! Cobb is able to toss him like a sack of potatoes, even pulling off his signature rolling gutwrench suplexes! Cobb manages to smother Morgan, and pins him after unleashing the Wrath of the Cobb (Spin Scoop Powerslam)

Flair does an in ring interview with Cobb, who says he chose coming to TNA because he's sick and tired of seeing all the little flippy men in the X Division. The X division needs a real man with real strength, it needs MR. OLYMPIC JEFF FREAKING COBB. Anthony Nese comes out on the ramp and says he's the Premiere Athlete, the perfect blend of strength, speed and agility. He has no weaknesses, and he's going to kick Cobb's rear end on his way to the top of the Division!

FUTURE SHOCK BAY BAY comes out against Robbie E and Murphy! O'Reilly gets Robbie E to tap to the Cross Arm Breaker while Cole Superkicks the poo poo out of Murphy to keep him from breaking up the pin

Ric Flair interviews the British Invasion, Magnus and Douglas Williams. Just a minute into the interview they are interruped by #DEMBOYS THE BRISCOES! The Briscoes don't take kindly to a bunch of filthy brits standing in the limelight when it's their time to shine. People don't want to see some tea drinking pansies, they want to see real men doing man poo poo! Flair tries to calm things down when Jay Briscoe throws a vicious right hand to Magnus's handsome Anglo face. IT'S A BACKSTAGE BRAWL. Ric Flair gets stoked as both teams beat the poo poo out of each other as the show goes off the air.

Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 02:50 on Jan 15, 2017

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Basic Chunnel posted:

So did somebody call Scott Steiner as Fake Scott Steiner before I did or do I win something

Sang won, beat ya to it

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Our fourth writer has kinda dropped off the face of the earth, it's up to Happyman but we could use someone else to help book the insanity that is TNA

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



quote:

Hey guys, it's your pal Jeremy D Borash here! Bad news: I was caught by the security staff stealing personal belongings from other comatose patients on the floor. Now I'm hiding out in a broom closet sleeping in a bed of dirty scrubs and subsisting on the uneaten hospital food they throw away. But dammit, I'm gonna get that promotion! Here's Mauro Ranallo, Taz, and Mike Tenay

Scott Steiner comes down to the ring holding the Steiner mask and baseball bat, laughing and showing them to the crowd and bragging about taking Bischoff out. He gets into the ring and circles around a bit, holding the bat high above his head. He tosses the bat aside and points to the hard cam. "So I heard you fat internet nerds were complaining about me being in two places at once after my match and attacking that little putz Eric Bischoff. Well, I've got a few things to say to that. Number one, SHUT THE gently caress UP! Number two, SHUT THE gently caress UP! Number three, I'm the Genetic Freak! The laws of physics don't apply to me! I've got the largest arms in the world, and I can use them to bend space and time to suit my will!" Steiner flexes, showing off his massive biceps, at which point Hulk Hogan comes out! Hogan is furious at Steiner's treachery, and announces that at Hardcore Justice, a tournament will begin that will conclude at No Surrender. Not only any tournament though, a tournament involving the biggest, baddest men in the world, to crowd the Best At Super Hossing PRESENTED BY HOSS' LOADED BURGERS, all gunning to take down you, Steiner! And the last man standing in the tournament will recieve a TNA World Championship match as Bound For Glory!


Austin Aries vs. Douglas Williams. It's a back and forth bout, but when Williams prepares to hit the Chaos Theory Suplex, he gets distracted by #DEMBOYS The Briscoes attacking Magnus at ringside while doing the rebel yell, allowing Aries to hit the Zapruder Film (Brainbuster) and steal the win!

Beer Money has a celebration in the ring with their belts for the fans, but call Hernandez a pussy for faking an injury last week. Hernandez arrives on the ramp and laughs, saying that the most important thing in this business is to win when it matters most. As it turns out, Anarquia was holding back SuperMex, and he's got some new faces to stick by him. Out comes...Jack Evans? Wearing a tiny sombrero? Jack has a mic and explains that he's wrestled in Mexico so much, they made him an honorary Mexican. As Hernandez walks to the ring, Prince Puma comes from the crowd and lays out James Storm from behind with a chair! Robert Roode, try as he might, cannot overcome the trio of Hernandez, Evans, and Puma and is also beaten down.

Le Brian Kendrick and Tony Nese versus Jeff Cobb and Mark Haskins. A back and forth affair as Cobb yells insults at the flippy men while throwing them around. Le Brian Kendrick gets the pin on Haskins after hitting the "Well, Actually" (Sliced Bread #2). Commentary talks about how tired and sloppy Kendrick looks, maybe he's got jet lag or the flu?

Madison Rayne, Angelina Love, Winter, and Mickie James come to the ring and demand explanations. Angelina and Madison talk about the days of The Beautiful People, and wonder when the former third member of the group could have possibly made time to find Io Shirai, let alone be in a committed relationship. They bring up doubts about the....fidelity...of the supposed "Hot Skyjin Wife", at which point The Shirais, Misaki Ohata, and The Hot Skyjin Wife arrive, and Skyjin makes one point abundantly clear, the reason why so many wicked people are shocked by this is that they don't have the trust in people that they could, while she and her lovely Io have unquestioned trust in one another, and to insult that trust is to insult everything their love is, was, and ever will be! A challenge is set, and agreed to, at Hardcore Justice, it will be Madison Rayne, Angelina Love, Winter, and Mickie James against The Shirais, Misaki Ohata, and The Hot Skyjin Wife!


Eric Young vs. Samoa Joe. Close back and forth between Joe and Young. Near the very end Joe hits a brutal looking German Suplex for a close two count. As Young is laying on the ground Joe signals for the Coquina Clutch! Wait. Who is that in the crowd-IT'S MR. ANDERSON! And there he goes, running to the ring. As he hops the barricade, Anderson stares down Samoa Joe... And gets hit with a chair shot from behind by Okado! Okada nods to Joe, who then nods back in return, and locks in the Coquina Clutch! Young taps out! Joe Wins!


TV Champion Il Generico is backstage with Christy Hemme. "So, Il Generico, you've made quite a splash in the Impact Zone, winning the TV Title in your first match!" Generico nods and smiles, raising the belt. "Si...si..." Generico trails off, seeming to barely understand English as he gawks at Christy. Christy continues "You are known across the world for your amazing heart. Whether in the ring facing insurmountable odds or out of it; raising money for various charitable causes. Tell us why you are here in the Impact Zone." Generico nods, "Uhhh.....Me gusta....los orphans!" he says, transfixed by Christy, gently reaching out an arm towards her. Christy is about to ask another question when Gunner attacks! Gunner delivers a clubbing blow to Generico, sending him sprawling and the title flying. Gunner delivers a few stomps to Generico then picks up the title. "This....this is gonna be mine. You, me at Hardcore Justice!!" He throws the title at Generico as Chrity watches, stunned.

Future Shock vs couple of local jobbers. Kyle puts on a jujitsu display and bends a jobber in weird directions a bunch then tags in Cole who hits the Last Shot then gets the pin.

The Tango Turkey AJ Styles comes out to the ring with his Boys, who bend over backwards to form a human chair for him. Styles grabs a mic and reclines onto the Boy Chair. ""So maybe....just maybe....I underestimated the reaction people would have when they saw my transformation. I went on social media this week and was absolutely bombarded! I saw people literally losing their minds at what I felt was there all along. [A montage of various reaction videos, pictures, and tweets including one completely blurred out from NewJack420]. What I had thought that everyone with a pair of eyes would have been able see: the true me hidden deep inside that was trying to escape. Clawing, screaming, buried alive underneath all the shame, all the frustration. And so like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, I retreated to my cocoon. A beautiful secluded bungalow on Fire Island. A place where I could go that didn't have cell service, it didn't have internet, or TV. It was completely isolated from the rest of the world. And there, I spent a week stripping away all the bonds keeping the true me held back! It was there....I met my boys."" AJ gestured to the boy chair and smiled.

He's interrupted by Frankie Kazarian's music! Kaz comes out and stands at the top of the ramp, his face flushed red with anger, tear stains slightly visible on his cheeks as his eyes are concealed by sunglasses. He points towards the ring ""How........how could you?!!?! How could you do this to us?!!?"" Kaz pauses as maybe he looks a little...choked up? ""How could you turn your back on Fortune? How could you turn your back on your brothers? We are fighting for our careers, for our livelihoods right now with Immortal in charge! We need to have each other's backs! And you go, you run off to some Island to 'find yourself'!!"" Frankie sneers ""You took a vacation and left us high and dry!"" Frankie pauses again, collecting himself momentarily before the rage boils up to the surface ""YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON US!!"" He shouts, his face crimson with fury. "HOW COULD YOU FORGET WHAT WE WENT THROUGH, WHAT WE MEANT TO EACH OTHER?!?!" A slideshow starts on the video wall behind Kazarian showing the members of Fortune in better times. Then a photo of Kazarian and Styles together, goofing off backstage. The photos become more personal, Styles and Frankie eating dinner together, Styles and Frankie coming out of the showers in towels, then them hugging in tuxedos at what might be Kazarian or Styles' wedding.

Styles looks shocked at the reaction from Frankie. ""Frankie....I.....I....just didn't..."" before Styles can finish, he is hit with a singapore cane! It's THE FALLEN ANGEL, CHRISTOPHER DANIELS! He beats on Styles and the boys as Kazarian sprints to the ring and joins in on the beat down. They leave all three destroyed men in the ring as Daniels seems to be comforting a very distraught Kazarian. Is he crying?

Abyss and Bully Ray are quietly visiting Eric Bischoff in the hospital, and as they leave they're insulted by Alex Shelley, who wonders who in the world could possibly be concerned about the condition of such an awful person. Bully emotionally tells Alex to find back-up, because he's challenging him to a match at Hardcore Justice, Bully will bring his friends, Alex can bring his, a Hardcore Lumberjack match!

Kevin Steen enters the ring with his opponent, a fireman, already in the ring. The next 6 minutes are, in a few words, hopelessly one-sided as Steen proceeds to erect a momentous rear end-whooping. The match mercifully ends after a Papa Powerbomb by Steen. Steen after the match grabs a mic and declares to the crowd that he is a greater hero than all firemen. As he leaves, he holds up a picture of his son to the camera and yells “I did it for you Owen!”

Crimson storms into Hogan's office, yelling about he's undefeated, and he wants a match at Hardcore Justice. Hogan smiles and promises him a match that can lead him to TNA gold. In a Best At Super Hossing first round match, it will be The Undefeated Crimson vs. The Undefeated Kevin Steen!

A vignette of #DEMBOYS The Briscoes are in training at their chicken farm in beautiful Sandy Fork, Delaware. They proudly wear the stars and bars, chugging beer and throwing rusty farm equipment around. They insult British food, women, masculinity, and chicken farming techniques. The Briscoes finish their beers, then get out some guns and shoot up an old Mini Cooper while yelling unintelligibly. The word "gently caress" was censored 27 times. "Man up" was said 13 times. The vignette was 8 minutes long.


Sting vs. Abyss - Sting starts off in control for a brief period of time before he realizes that IT'S loving ABYSS! Abyss spends most of the match just... toying with him, like a cat would play with it's food. Sting does regain momentum for a brief period of time with a flurry of punches, but loses it again after Abyss counters an early Scorpion Death Drop attempt with a suplex. Sting is on the ground as Abyss goes for the corner slingshot splash... But Sting rolls out of the way! Sting sets Abyss in the corner... Stinger Splash! 1...2.-Kick Out!

Sting sets up for the Scorpion Deathlock! He locks it in- IT'S JARRET! JARRET OUTTA NOWHERE BEATING THE gently caress OUTTA STING! Ref calls for the DQ as Sting suffers the combined assault of Jarret and Abyss.

As Sting fights to get to his feet, he is clobbered by El Kabong! Jarrett stands tall as the show ends, holding the title in the air and taunting the Stinger. See you at Hardcore Justice!

This show was not up to the quality of previous Impacts, a C




quote:

Show opens with a video recap of Impact, highlighting Immortal Explodes and AJ Styles attack at the hands of Daniels and Kazarian

Anthony Nese vs. Mark Haskins - Nese wins with a pin.

Jeff Cobb comes out for a stare down with Nese.

Christy Hemme Interview with The Big Boy Michael Elgin

Prince Puma and Jack Evans (Mexican Americans) vs The Boys (AR Fox and Zema Ion). Prince Puma and Jack Evans hit stereo 630 sentons, Puma Pins Ion

Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Jan 21, 2017

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



quote:

Hardcore Justice opens up with Hogan backstage with Immortal, nervously hovering over a circle of doctors and nurses around...Eric Bischoff's hospital bed? Hogan looks to one of the Doctors, seemingly skeptical about the situation. "You sure it's safe for him to be here?" He asks, peering over them at the comatose Bischoff. One of the Doctors looks up from his clipboard "He's stable and breathing on his own, he just hasn't regained consciousness. It's safe for him to be here, and if any issue came up we have a full medical staff." Hogan nods "I'm just making sure he's gonna be OK. After all, it was my crazy idea having him here, feeling the energy of the crowd going crazy when Abyss destroys that son of a bitch Steiner." Hogan steps forward and grabs Bischoff's hand "I'm gonna make that son of a bitch pay, brother. I'm gonna get him back for what he's done to you." Hogan sighs, letting go of his old friend's hand and turning to the rest of Immortal. "You go out there and kick some loving rear end for him, boys." He walks over and gets in Abyss's face "And you destroy Steiner. You break every bone in his loving body. You make him bleed, you make him suffer. Anything else, is not acceptable."

**************************************************************************

The Camera pans around the arena for Hardcore Justice! Suddenly, loud metal guitar music blasts from the entrance ramp. It's the British Invasion! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwpoV3xtpSg Magnus and Douglas come to the ring, waving the Union Jack and hyping up the crowd as they come down the Entrance Ramp. Then, Skynyrd hits....it's the Briscoes! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8egE4x9Djo They come down to the ring decked out in the stars and bars, screaming various obscenities and showing off their garbage can filled with weapons. The Invasion extend their hands to shake like proper British Gentlemen, but #DEMBOYS aren't here to shake hands, they're here to fight! Before the ref can step between them, Mark throws a bullet hole riddled stop sign at Magnus' face! The Ref rings the bell, this is on! Jay kicks Doug Williams in the gut and goes for a Jay Driller right off the bat! Williams' judo training kicks in and he executes a textbook double leg takedown and starts pummeling the elder Briscoe. Magnus is reeling from the stop sign shot, and eats a series of vicious forearm and elbow shots from Mark. He staggers to the ropes and Mark hits a dropkick, sending Magnus to the outside!

Mark turns and quickly jumps on the back of Williams, who has controlled Jay on the ground. Williams quickly shifts his weight and tosses Mark onto the prone Jay! Williams follows up with a knee to Mark's spine as Magnus staggers back into the ring. Magnus has something in his hands....it's fish and chips wrapped in newspaper! Mark gets to his feet just in time for Magnus to get his revenge, he whacks Mark over the head with the greasy vittles! Mark screams in agony as the burning hot oil and salt has gotten into his eyes! "Don't forget the malt vinegar, Mauro! That poo poo is like mace!" Mark blindly turns to Williams who hits him with a European Uppercut, he staggers back to Magnus who does the same! Mark is ping ponged back and forth between the two Brits with alternating uppercuts while Jay gets to his feet and snarls, springing towards Williams and hitting him with a big boot! Mark is frantically wiping his eyes as Magnus heads to the trash can of weapons and pulls out an....umbrella? Magnus goes to bring the weapon down on Mark's head when he's interrupted by a blind palm strike right to Magnus' throat! Mark has harnessed the power of Redneck Kung Fu and is fighting blind! He unleashes a flurry of strikes on Magnus then sends him into the ropes, and hits a drop kick, sending Magnus to the outside oncre more.

Mark gets out on the apron as Magnus staggers to his feet, just in time for a running senton from the younger Briscoe! Jay and Doug square off, trading a couple quick rear waist locks before Jay drops Doug on his knee, yelling at Mark to get his rear end in there! Mark pops up on the apron and hits a springboard leg drop on Williams! Jay goes for the cover: 1, 2...Williams kicks out! Jay sends Williams into the corner, and both Briscoes charge wildly! Jay hits a big boot to the face while Mark hits a low angle drop kick. Mark starts climbing the turnbucke as Jay goes to get Williams on his shoulders for the Doomsday Device but Magnus hits him with a chair! Jay staggers and drops Williams as Magnus lays a shot onto Mark's back, sending him flying to the outside. Williams recovers and grabs Jay from behind as Magnus sprints back and delivers a big boot to Jay's jaw. Williams uses the momentum from the move to hit the elder Briscoe with a bridging german suplex! 1...2....Jay kicks out! Magnus screams in anger and goes to grab the chair while Williams pulls Jay up and holds him for another shot. Magnus gets close the ropes when Mark grabs his leg and pulls him to the outside and delivers a super kick! Jay breaks Williams hold and muscles the Judoka up for a Death Valley Driver! Mark pops up on the apron with a chair and points his thumb skyward to Jay, signaling for the Doomsday Device. Jay picks the beaten Williams up on his shoulders in the electric chair position. Mark gets on the turnbuckle, facing away from the two with the chair in his hands. He springs backwards, rotation 180 degrees in the air and smacking Williams in the face with the chair! Jay goes for the pin: 1.....2....3! #DEMBOYS are your winners! They celebrate with the stars and bars, screaming insults at the fallen British Gentlemen to a chorus of loud boos! This crowd is hot, folks and HARDCORE JUSTICE is just starting!

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It's time for Knockouts action with Madison Rayne, Angelina Love, Winter and Mickie James taking on Io & Mio Shirai, Misaki Ohata and Velvet Sky! Angelina Love starts the match against Misaki Ohata, but Velvet Sky tags herself in immediately! She wants to get back at her former beautiful people teammates for what they've said about her relationship! They wrestle evenly for a bit before the heels gain the avantage, keeping Velvet in their corner. Attempts at a tag by Velvet are cut off multiple times before Velvet is eventually able to duck a running ropkick by Mickie James, causing Mickie to hit her own teammates! In the confusion, Velvet makes the tag to Io! Io lays into James with stiff strikes and German suplexes, tagging in her Joshi partners to let them get some shots in too! Mickie James tries to fight off the onslaught, but she's unable to combat the smooth teamwork of 3 unfamiliar opponents. Eventually, however, she is able to make the tag to Madison Rayne! Rayne makes a mad dash for Io Shirai... Straight into a brutal stiff kick to the head! Rayne crumples to the ground, unconscious! The ref doesn't need a second look to declare the match as ending via knockout! Rayne is stretchered away from the ring! We hope she's OK!

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Kevin Steen is shown backstage. He talks about The Minotaur, a creature awaiting brave heroes at the end of the labyrinth. He then compares Crimson to The Minotaur, in that both of them are big, hairy, stinking subhumans. (That and he's a ginger.) He scoffs at Crimsons undefeated streak, saying “A big string of easy victories over a bunch of F****** NOBODIES? That's hardly heroic.” Steen finishes with "Much like The Minotaur was Bruised, Broken and Vanquished, I too with utterly destroy you for the sake of my beloved son Owen, because I. AM. A. HERO."

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Some generic Post Hardcore music blares through the Impact Zone, it's Crimson! Crimson saunters down to the ring and scowls at the ramp as he waits for his opponent. Then a few bars of Drowning Pool play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAqIDysOcZQ and out comes Kevin Steen! Steen points at the camera "I'M GOING TO SLAY THE MINOTAUR FOR YOU OWEN!" he screams, clenching his fist then turning his glance towards the ring. Steen and Crimson move quicky to face off, and have to be separated by the ref in order to start the match. The ref rings the bell and the two men immediately start slugging it out in the center of the ring! Steen gets the advantage after an eye rake, sending Crimson into the ropes and hitting him with a shoulder block, but Crimson isn't fazed. He yells at Steen to give him what he's got and points to the ropes. Steen nods "Ok Ok, I'm gonna run into you with everything I've..." Steen hits a dropkick, sending Crimson to the mat. Steen jumps over Crimson and hits the ropes, coming back as Crimson pops up and returns the favor, unleashing a brutal dropkick to Steen. Steen goes down and eats a quick diving knee from Crimson. Steen rolls away and gets to his feet as Crimson throws a quick knee, knocking him back into the corner. Crimson runs in and hits Steen with a shoulder block. Steen stumbles out of the corner as Crimson purses, only to be hit by a quick superkick! Steen moves with blinding speed and grabs Crimson, planting him with a DDT. Steen moves into a headlock, yelling at the crowd and the camera.

Some random fan boos him and Steen responds "Shut the gently caress up, I'm doing this for my son! I will keep this headlock on all night long!" Crimson fights his way up but Steen tosses Crimson into the corner. Steen starts kicking him repeatedly, sending the big man down to the mat. Crimson lies, slumped against the bottom turnbuckle, and Steen runs away from the corner and starts back to build up momentum. He goes for the cannonball senton but Crimson evades him at the last moment. Crimson rolls to the side as Steen flops out of the corner and struggles to get up. Crimson reaches his feet before Steen and catches him with a spear! Crimson goes for the pin, 1....2... Steen kicks out! Crimson pulls Steen up and goes for the Red Alert but Steen blocks and drives a knee into Crimson's gut. Steen follows up with a teardrop suplex then starts viciously stomping on Crimson. He picks Crimson up in the fireman's carry, DEEP SEA DIVERTICULITIS! Steen goes for the pin, 1....2... Crimson kicks out. Steen looks a bit frustrated as he picks up Crimson then sends him into the corner. Crimson immediately slumps to the bottom turnbuckle as Steen revs up his engine and hits the cannonball senton! Steen rolls back and laughs, pointing at the crowd. "I told you, I told you I'd slay the Minotaur. And you didn't loving believe me, did you?!"

Steen's bragging to the crowd gives Crimson time to roll to the apron. Steen purses and picks Crimson up, smiling at the crowd then hitting Crimson with a DDT on the apron! Crimson hits the hard edge of the ring and doesn't move much, laying prone on the apron. Steen pulls Crimson's legs out and picks him up, POWER BOMB ON THE APRON! Crimson is in serious pain, writhing on the ground. Steen looks over at the Spanish announce table and smiles. He brings the broken Crimson and lays him on the table. Steen pulls a ladder out from under the ring and sets it up next to the table. What is he doing? Steen starts climbing the ladder and points to the crowd as they are aghast. "Why aren't you cheering for the hero? WHY AREN'T YOU CHEERING?!!?! I'LL SHOW YOU!!" He finishes climbing the ladder and looks down at the prone Crimson, then jumps off! BIG BOY SENTON THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! CRIMSON IS DESTROYED!

Steen rolls off, holding his back and slowly making his way to his feet. He stumbles over to the Ref, grabbing his shirt "CALL THE MATCH! I DESTROYED HIM! I WIN!" The Ref doesn't know what to do, he stops and checks on Crimson. Crimson mumbles something, but isn't moving much. Meanwhile, Steen starts grabbing every folding chair in the vicinity and forming a pile. Steen looks at the Ref "CALL THE loving MATCH!" Before the Ref can react Steen grabs Crimson, then powerbombs him onto the chairs! He keeps screaming at the Ref to stop the match! The Ref tries to lean in to check on Crimson. but he doesn't even get close enough to check! Steen grabs Crimson and powerbombs him again! He picks him up and powerbombs him a third time! The Ref calls the match! STEEN IS YOUR WINNER. Steen gets onto the turnbuckle to celebrate, holding a slightly larger picture of his son.

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Some more generic TNA rock music plays, it's GUNNER! Gunner comes down the ring, snarling and ready for a fight. Then....OLE OLE OLE.....IT'S the Television Champion Den Generiska!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KABUQxllGbk The Generic Luchador runs down the entrance ramp, stopping to high five fans as he makes his way to the ring. Generiska gets on the turnbuckle and holds the Television Title high over his head. They get into the center of the ring for introductions. "Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is for the TNA Television Title. Introducing the Challenger: From Hickory, North Carolina; weighing in at 247 pounds....Gunner! And the Champion, from Helsingborg, Sweden; weighing in at 210 pounds....DEN GENERISKA!" The ref takes the belt, shows it to the challenger and rings the bell. We're underway! Generiska comes sprinting out of the corner looking for an Ole kick right off the bat! Gunner sidesteps the luchador as he overshoots his target. Generiska's foot goes over the top turnbuckle, momentarily trapping him in the corner giving Gunner an opening and he takes advantage of it with a back suplex! Gunner picks up the generic luchador and sends him into the ropes, then grabs him off the rebound for a spinning spinebuster! Gunner goes for the quick cover 1....Kick out! Generiska pops up and hits a quick forearm to the surprised Gunner.

Gunner retaliates with one of his own, stunning Generiska then picking him up for a vertical suplex. Generiska kicks his legs to change the momentum and reverses it into a deep arm drag! Gunner comes up off the arm drag and eats a running crossbody from Generiska! Generiska tries to hold the big man down for a pin: 1.....2...Gunner kicks out! Gunner quickly rolls out of the ring to get his bearings but Generiska isn't content to let him get away so easily! Generiska tries to hype the crowd up, then sprints into the ropes, bouncing back to get that momentum up and hits a picture perfect Tope Con Hilo!! Gunner takes it straight on and sprawls to the ground. Generiska springs to his feet and celebrates! OLE!!! Gunner looks around as Generiska poses for the crowd, sliding his hand underneath the ring and coming out with a steel chair! He scrambles to his feet and catches Generiska in the gut with the edge of the chair as he turns around! Ladies and Gentlemen, don't forget every match tonight...IS A HARDCORE MATCH! Gunner smacks the chair over Generiska's back, sending the Generic Luchador to the mat. He picks up the prone Generiska in a powerslam, then throws him face first on the apron! Gunner, back in control rolls Generiska into the ring and tosses the chair in before sliding under the ropes. Gunner picks up Generiska and hits a side slam backbreaker, then holds the Luchador over his knee and turns it into a submission! He presses down on the face and thigh of Generiska, bending him backwards over his knee. Generiska refuses to give up even though his spine is being bent the wrong way!

Generiska fights back, prying Gunner's hand off his face and slipping out of the hold. He rolls away from Gunner, who quickly pursues the Generic Luchador only to be met with an exploder suplex into the turnbuckles! Gunner is dazed! Generiska gathers a head of steam and hits a dropkick onto the prone Gunner! He runs to the opposite corner and begins hyping the crowd up. Gunner slowly makes his way to his feet as his glazed over eyes come into focus on the chair just a few feet away. He begins to move for it when Generiska sprints at him full speed. HE HITS THE OLE KICK! Gunner is out on his feet! Generiska picks him up and twists him in mid air, BLUE THUNDER BOMB ON THE CHAIR! Generico holds him down for the pin: 1....2....3! Generiska retains the Television Title!

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The camera pans over the ringside area, showing a good chunk of the TNA Roster out acting as lumberjacks! There are weapons scattered all over the ringside area between the men who glare at each other. You can feel the tension in the air for this match!

Bully Ray comes out and down to the ring, cursing at fans the entire way down. Alex Shelley comes out and high fives fans along the ramp as he makes his way to the ring, staring a few lumberjacks down. Both men get in the ring, the lumberjacks are ready and we are underway! This match starts out slower than one would expect from this type of match, with Shelley and Bully Ray feeling each other out for a couple minutes, testing each other with greco roman knuckle locks before starting in on the attack. Bully Ray comes in for a lariat but Shelley ducks and hits an enziguri to the back of Bully Ray's head. Ray stumbles and catches a backstabber from Shelley! Shelley goes for a quick moonsault but Bully Ray manages to get up and stop Shelley before he can execute! Bully Ray hits the ropes and crotches Shelley on the turnbuckle. Ray pulls Shelley off the turnbuckle for a german suplex! Ray goes for the pin: 1.....2... Shelley kicks out! Ray hits the ropes and cracks Shelley in the face with a big boot as he tries to get up. Shelley goes and Ray picks him back up, setting up for a piledriver but Shelley reverses into a back body drop! Shelley gets Bully Ray up and whips him into the corner, sending Ray down to the canvas.

Before Bully can get his bearings, he is eating Shelley’s double knees! Shelly immediately gets up and grabs Bully for the Sliced Bread #2! He goes for the pin: 1…2... It takes more than that to stop an ECW Alumnus. Bully Ray gets up, and doesn’t look fazed at all. He turns to Shelley, who is already on the rebound, running the ropes to kick him out of the ring! Bully tries to hold his ground, but a second running kick sends him over the ropes, and into the waiting weapons of the lumberjacks! The first one to reach Bully Ray is Samoa Joe, who kicks him hard in the gut, sending him to the barricade. Before he can catch his breath, Okato is there, chair in hand, and beans him with a chair. Joe takes advantage of this, and whips Bully Ray back into the ring, where Alex Shelley awaits.

Taking advantage of his prone opponent, Shelley grabs Bully Ray into the Border City Stretch! Bully screams in agony as he makes his way towards the ropes. As Shelley is concentrating on keeping the hold locked in, he doesn’t notice Bully grabbing the 2x4 that was surreptitiously left in the ring, until Bully conks him with it, repeatedly. Shelley is forced to release the hold, and Bully Ray goes on the attack.
With the brutality you’d expect, Bully Ray starts beating Shelley senseless. Shelley is barely able to keep going. Bully whips him out of the ring, and Mr. Anderson is there, whacking Shelley with a Singapore cane. He throws Shelley into the ring… right into a Senton by Bully Ray! Bully Ray goes the pinL 1…2…2.9! Alex Shelley is still in this somehow! Bully Ray is infuriated, and shouts at the top of his lungs:
"DEVON!!"
"YEAH?"
"GET THE NEW GUY!"

Devon throws a table into the ring, and as he sets it up, D’Angelo Dinero gets into the ring. The three of them set Shelley up for a familiar maneuver! 3D! All three celebrate by standing on Shelley for the pin: 1…2…3! Team 3D has reunited, with new member D’Angelo Dinero, and with their help, Bully Ray Dudley has defeated Alex Shelley!

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Orale guey, Mexican America is here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3dmRxIWaSQ Both men come down to the ring riding lowrider bicycles with baskets full of weapons, waving Mexican flags. BEER MONEY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk9wbwCT_uc Beer Money come down to the ring, holding a giant open topped tub cooler filled with ice between them. Everyone leaves their respective items at ringside. "Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is for the TNA World Tag Team Championship! Your challengers: De donde el imposible es posible! At a combined weight of 492 pounds. Mexican America! Your champions: From the place with the coldest beer in town, Beer Money!" The teams return to their corners and the bell rings.

Hernandez starts against Storm. Both big men tie up in the middle of the ring. Hernandez gets a head lock, utilizing his size advantage over Storm. Storm separates Hernandez's grip and uses leverage to pull the big man down and slap on his own headlock. Hernandez pushes Storm into the ropes, and Storm bounces back with a shoulder...no. Hernandez doesn't budge. He points to the perpendicular ropes. Storm sprints for another shoulder block aaaannnddd...doesn't move Hernandez. Hernandez laughs "It's my turn!" then sprints into the ropes at full speed, bouncing back and dropping his shoulder into Storm. Storm goes flying! Hernandez drags Storm into his corner then starts stomping and tags in Prince Puma! Puma jumps on the ropes, SPRINGBOARD 450! Puma hooks the leg for the pin: 1....2.... Storm gets a shoulder up! Puma sprints across the ring and hits a rope assisted enziguri on Roode, sending him flying to the floor!

Hernandez runs over and starts brawling with Roode while Puma and Storm continue in the ring. Puma runs back as storm gets to his feet and is caught with a lariat! Storm picks Puma up and hits him with a suplex. Puma hits the mat hard as Storm goes for the Sharpshooter but Puma manages a scorpion kick right to Storm in the dick! "Ay yay yay, he's feeling like he had a real bad trip to the barrio!" Storm stumbles and Puma takes advantage, hitting a jumping boot to Storm's head. Storm stumbles into the corner and Puma follows up with a flash kick! Hernandez whacks Roode on the outside and gestures to Puma. "Get him, guey!" Puma nods and sprints into the ropes, then hits a step up tope con hilo on Roode! "Holy poo poo! Holy poo poo!" the crowd chants. Puma slowly gets into the ring and tags Hernandez. Hernandez runs at Storm and hits a splash in the corner. Storm stumbles out and Hernandez goes for a back body drop but is blocked! Storm counters with a gutbuster! Hernandez stumbles back and Storm hits a superkick! Hernandez crumples from the blow and Storm staggers towards his corner, where Roode has just gotten onto the apron. Storm tags in Roode! Roode comes in and hits Hernandez with some forearm shots then turns the big man around and with a wiggle of the hips, hits the RUDE AWAKENING. Roode goes for the pin 1....2... Hernandez kicks out! Roode runs and hits a shoulderblock on Puma, sending him off the apron. James Storm comes into the ring, realizing it's going to take all the beer and all the money to put the big man away. They grab Hernandez and hit a double suplex! Roode grabs Hernandez's legs and pulls back, catapulting him to Storm who hits a DDT! Storm goes for the pin: 1.....2.... Puma comes in to break it up! Roode jumps from behind Puma to hit a rolling neckbreaker! Storm picks up the luchador and hits a Samoan drop while Roode hits another neckbreaker! Both men are out! Double pin 1....2... no both kick out!

Roode and Storm go back to focus on Hernandez, going to set him up for the DWI but Puma hits a gamen giri on storm from behind! Storm is staggered! Puma ducks a lariat from Roode and hits the ropes for momentum. He rolls underneath another Roode lariat then pops up, jumping into the air and catching Storm in a front facelock...hanging momentarily in the air then....DDT! Puma pops up and dodges a spear from Roode, who hits Hernandez! Puma turns and goes after Storm! Storm staggers towards the corner but Puma jumps up from behind him, POISONED RANA.... NO STORM BLOCKS IT! Puma is hanging off Storm's back! Roode hits a shotgun dropkick right into Puma's face! Storm pulls Puma up, then spins him into a powerbomb position. Roode is ready! The crowd is hyped, it's Happy Hour ladies and gentlemen! Storm powerbombs him into Roode's neckbreaker! DRINKING WHILE INVESTING! Storm goes for the pin 1....2....3... Your champs retain!

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Austin Aries comes out to the ring, mic in hand! "Well, you know what they always say. Plans change, right? And lemme tell ya, they change for the dumbest of reasons, and tonight is no different! It appears my opponent for the night, the, spoiler alert, FORMER X Division champion Brian Kendrick, has not only ducked a fight with me, he's up and left the whole loving company, abandoning you all and leaving the title... vacant. Why, you ask? Well, to that, I say, I'm surprised. Not that that loser ran away, though. I'm surprised that the mass of beta cucks in the crowd don't get the actions of one of their own! Cause, you see, there are two types of people in the world. There are ALPHAS, those with GAME, who can get anything and everything in the world that they desire, and then there's the Betas, people like Kendrick, people like you losers in... whatever fuckin' hick town this shithole is, who don't have any game to speak of, and are only fit to take the scraps we Alphas leave behind. I knew Kendrick was a Beta from day one, but recently he's been really showing off his cmplete lack of testosterone with all that nerd poo poo he was doin'. I mean, come the gently caress on, LE Brian Kendrick. Do I look like I speak Mexican, man? It's no wonder that a wimp like him wouldn't want to fight a stud like me, and honestly I don't blame him for leaving, cause you see, THAT BETA CUCK BITCH BOY INCEL SPENGLER COULDN'T MATCH UP TO ME ON ANY NIGHT! So I say, considering the circumstances, we just go ahead and declare my victory by forfeit, so you cucks can all get to worshipping your NEW X Division champion, THE AMERICAN ALPHA, AUSTIN ARIES!"

"Now where the gently caress's that be-" Aries is interrupted by ERIC YOUNG'S MUSIC! Aries is initially shocked, but his expression quickly turns to an evil grin when he sees that Young is clearly putting quite some effort in even making it to the ring, various parts of his body covered in KT tape. Young slides in to the ring and Aries attacks him immediately! No time for intros, the ref rings the bell and this match is underway! Aries works on Young's taped up back and neck, delivering vicious stops to the injured man. It was a herculean effort just to show up for this match! Aries drops down and gets Young in a headlock, maybe trying for that bridging arm triangle choke already! Young manages to pry Aries' hands off him and rolls out to the apron. Aries follows and immediately hits a jumping knee, sending Young sprawling to the outside. Aries poses around the ring for a bit, then goes out to pursue Young. As soon as Aries hits the mat on the outside Young hits him with a superkick! However, his taped up knee buckles underneath his weight and he is unable to capitalize! Aries is momentarily staggered, but smiles and grabs Young and slams his face into the apron! Aries rolls him into the ring, then hits a springboard missile dropkick before Young can even make it to his feet! Young goes sprawling towards the opposite ropes, putting him in perfect position for Aries as he runs over, hurdles his prone opponent and hits a Lionsault! Aries goes for the pin 1...2...kick out!

Young is in obvious pain as Aries again goes to work on him with another grounded headlock, sliding his hand underneath his opponent's head and trapping his arm. D'Arce choke! Aries can't get the bridge for leverage, but the damage to Young's neck has to be bad at this point! Young manages to free himself and gets to his feet. His eyes are glazed over, he's gasping for air but he's still in this match! Aries comes at him looking for an elbow but Young grabs him, belly to belly suplex! Young goes for the pin: 1....Aries kicks out! Young is just not able to even get a solid cover, he's in a world of hurt. Young works on Aries, trying to go for a figure four but eats a kick to the face! Aries gets up and sends Young into the ropes, Aries hits a Japanese arm drag! Aries picks up Young and sends him into the corner, then follows up with a dropkick! "Boom goes the IED!" Yikes, Taz. Aries pulls young out of the corner then hits a Saito suplex! He starts strutting around the ring, letting the crowd know he is the one true American Alpha in TNA! Aries picks up Young and hits the rolling fireman's carry, then transitions immediately into the bridging arm triangle choke!
"HE'S GOT IT IN! THE FALSE FLAG! WE CAN ALL SEE IT'S CLEARLY A FALSE FLAG! JET FUEL CAN'T MELT STEEL BEAMS MAURO!"
"You've been watching too much Infowars, Tenay"
Young taps out after only a few seconds! Your new X Division Champion, The American Alpha Austin Aries!

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AJ Styles comes to the ring with his Boys, posing and preening with them as he struts around the ring. Suddenly, he is interrupted by Christopher Daniels' music! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv7ebdJp8o4 Daniels has a microphone and stops at the top of the entrance ramp. "So I'm glad to see our lost little bird has come for his rear end whipping. That's perfect, because I'm here to deliver it to you!" Daniels slowly starts making his way down the ramp towards ringside. "Poor Frankie, he is so distraught over your betrayal he can't make it out tonight! So I'm here to deliver the beating on his behalf!" He slides into the ring and throws the microphone into AJ's face!

The ref rings the bell as AJ staggers back from the microphone to the face! Daniels immediately hits a drop kick, sending AJ sprawling across the ring. Daniels relentlessly pursues Styles picking him up and sending him into the ropes. AJ bounces back and is caught Daniels who hits a sidewalk slam! Daniels goes for the pin out of instinct then stops and stands up. No....no Daniels isn't going to end this early. He's going to make the Tango Turkey suffer in front of his boys! Daniels picks AJ up for a powerbomb but it gets reversed into a hurricanrana! Daniels rolls through and pops up just in time to catch a vicious pair of leg kicks. Daniels ducks underneath a spinning backfist and grabs AJ with a rear waistlock, but his attempt at a German suplex is thwarted by a couple of quick elbows from the Tango Turkey. AJ goes for the Pele kick but it gets caught by Daniels! He slams AJ's knee hard into the mat and tries to transition into the Koji Clutch but AJ rolls him through and tries for the Calf Killer but the Fallen Angel manages to hold on to one of AJ's legs and transitions into a knee bar! An excellent display of technical wrestling from these two veterans! Styles frees his leg and kicks Daniels in the face with his heel! Daniels relinquishes the hold and both men kip up to their feet! AJ sprints at Daniels, who sidesteps him. AJ goes into the ropes and comes back, Daniels leapfrogs him and rolls back onto his shoulders for a roll through but Styles stops his momentum and delivers a vicious kick to Daniels' chest! AJ steps forward and deadlifts Daniels for a german....no he plants Daniels face down with a sitout slam! Styles rolls Daniels over for the pin, clutching one of his opponents' legs for leverage. 1....2...Daniels kicks out!

The Fallen Angel recovers and throws a kick, but its get caught by Styles. Daniels quickly follows up with an Enziguri! The Turkey stumbles and Daniels picks him up in a fireman's carry...sit out death valley driver! Daniels pops up and sprints, jumping onto the middle rope....BEST. MOONSAULT. EVER. He doesn't even bother with the pin! He pulls AJ into a sitting position then runs into the ropes and hits the low diving clothesline to the back of AJ's neck! Daniels quickly pulls him back up, smiling at the crowd. "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ABANDON YOUR FRIENDS!" He shouts, then plants AJ with the STO! AJ rolls away to the outside to recover! His boys quickly come over and fan their prone....uhh.....friend? "I don't know what kind of relationship this is, guys." The Boys are concentrating on fanning AJ with all their might, giving the Daniels the opening to hit a springboard plancha, taking out both of the Boys! AJ gets to his feet, enraged that his Boys have been attacked! He throws a vicious superman forearm to Daniels, then throws him into the ringpost! AJ checks on his Boys, then hops on the apron and hits a somersault senton onto Daniels! AJ rolls through to his feet then hops up on the barricade and hits a moonsault onto the prone Daniels! The tango turkey is in attack mode, folks! AJ rolls him into the ring then hits a springboard 450! He hooks the leg for the pin: 1....2...NO! Daniels gets a shoulder up. AJ hits a superkick, then a spinning kick, then a pele kick in quick succession! What a combo! Daniels is staggering and AJ hits him with a snap suplex into the turnbuckle! Daniels slumps to the mat and AJ struts around a bit, posing for the crowd then picking his opponent up and getting him in the Styles clash....wait no what is this....kneeling ganso bomb! THE GOBBLEPOINT!

As AJ is about to pose a bit more he is interrupted by the sound of steel on flesh! KAZARIAN HAS COME OUT OF THE CROWD AND IS LAYING INTO THE BOYS WITH A STEEL CHAIR! AJ is in shock! He takes a step forward but Daniels grabs his foot, holding him back as Kazarian continues to viciously beat the boys, taunting Styles the whole time! Styles shakes the hand off and prepares for a springboard maneuver when Daniels jumps on his back! Daniels wraps his leg around the front of AJ's neck and locks his hands around his throat! STANDING KOJI CLUTCH! THE CHRISTO! AJ staggers back and lets out a gurgling howl as Kazarian punishes his Boys! Styles tries to reach the ropes but the Fallen Angel increases the force on the hold! Styles falls to one knee and screams, reaching out to his boys as they reach towards him from outside the ring. Kazarian is standing over them and screaming at AJ "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?! I'M GOING TO KILL YOUR loving BOYS YOU loving JUDAS!" Styles cries out again, this time in rage! He lets out an inhuman cry and flips Daniels off, then locks in the Calf Killer! He reaches back with one arm and wraps it around Daniels' neck, pulling the Fallen Angel's head back; wrenching his spine while crushing his calf against the bone! Daniels taps! Styles is the winner! Styles immediately releases the hold and goes after Kaz! Kazarian evades Styles as Daniels rolls out of the ring. Both men head up the ramp while AJ stops to check on his Boys. THIS IS NOT THE END OF THIS, FOLKS

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THE SIRENS HIT! IT'S TIME FOR SCOTT loving STEINER! Steiner comes down to the ring for his First Round Best at Super Hossing Tournament Match presented by Hoss's Loaded Burgers! He grabs a mic and starts shouting. "HOGAN YOU loving PUSSY! GET OUT HERE AND TELL ME WHO I'M FACING OR I'M COMING AFTER YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT LIKE I DID YOUR LITTLE BITCH BISCHOFF" Hogan's music hits and he comes to the top of the ramp "Let me tell you something Steiner! You put one of my best friends in a coma! He may never loving wake up! You're gonna pay! You're gonna pay with your blood, brother! YOU'RE FACING THE MONSTER TONIGHT, ABYSS!"

Abyss comes out, carrying a trash can full of weapons. Hogan nods at him and points Steiner. Abyss smiles underneath the mask, slowly making his way to the ring. He throws the trash can into the ring and gets in, Steiner staring him down the entire time. The bell rings, this match is on! Abyss reaches into the trash can and pulls out a 2x4! He charges at Steiner and swings the 2x4, but Steiner sidesteps and hits him with a German suplex! Steiner picks up the 2x4 and cracks Abyss across the face as he gets up! Abyss hits the mat and and Steiner follows up by continuing to beat on Abyss with the 2x4. He tosses it aside and goes for a quick Steiner Recliner but Abyss pulls Steiner down by the leg and starts hammering on him! Abyss tries to choke Steiner but Steiner muscles his way out of it and both men stand up! They start brawling and throwing forearms to each other, yelling like madmen!

Steiner goes for the irish whip and Abyss hits the ropes and tries to shoulder block Steiner, but he shakes his head and points to the ropes for Abyss to try again. Abyss hits the ropes and comes back with a big boot! Steiner staggers and Abyss follows up with a big lariat. Abyss scurries over to his trash can and pulls out a baseball bat! Steiner gets to his knees only to eat a baseball bat to the gut! Abyss follows up with another shot to the back, sending Steiner down to the mat. Abyss goes for another blow but Steiner catches the bat! He kicks Abyss in the knee, then turns the bad and jabs it into the monster's groin! Abyss crumples as Steiner gets to his feet and drops down, jabbing the bat into Abyss's chest! Steiner tosses the bat to the side and picks Abyss up, then hits an exploder into the corner! He picks up the monster and sets him on the top turnbuckle. Steiner climbs up...is he going for the frankensteiner?!?!

Abyss quickly regains his bearings while Steiner is getting set up and shoves him off, sending him flying to the mat!. Abyss hits a diving elbow drop! He goes for the pin: 1....2...Steiner gets a shoudler off the mat! Abyss gets frustrated and grabs the trash can full of weapons then just throws it on Steiner! Various blunt objects and implements of pain spill out over the mat. Abyss hits a big boy senton on the prone Steiner, then goes for a pin: 1.....2... Steiner kicks out! Abyss stands up and delivers a kick to Steiner's face. The Monster steps back towards the pile of weapons and picks up a bag and opens it, smiling at Steiner as he spills thumbtacks out over the mat. Abyss grabs Steiner in a front facelock, trying to lift him up for a suplex but Steiner blocks it! Steiner reverses and picks up Abyss, then hits the drop suplex right onto the thumbtacks! Abyss writhes in pain as they pierce his flesh! Both men are gassed by this point, Steiner stumbling to the weapons.

He picks up the baseball bat and throws it at Abyss, then follows up by chucking a fire extinguisher at him! The monster groans and writhes around in pain trying to get to his feet as Steiner comes over with a Singapore cane! He cracks the Monster multiple times, then turns to the crowd and flexes. Abyss is bleeding badly from the thumbtacks and has a head wound from the cane! Steiner yells "IT'S loving OVER!" Steiner picks Abyss up and locks his arms around the Monster's neck, holding the Singapore for additional force. STEINER FLATLINER! Steiner quickly climbs on the Monster's back and puts him in the Steiner Recliner, using the Singapore cane for extra leverage to choke Abyss! Abyss screams and waves his arms, but resistance to Big Poppa Pump is ultimately futile. Abyss taps out, Steiner is your winner!

**************************************************************************

The camera cuts backstage to show Bischoff moving as the Doctors watch the match on a TV. "Jesus, he's going to need multiple stitches. Someone get a suture tray.." Suddenly, the camera pans to Bischoff. His eyes flutter open as he takes a few raspy breaths. One of the nurses looks up "Doctor, the Patient seems to be waking up!" The medical team rushes to Bischoff's bedside as he makes some sort of muffled noise. It's almost impossible to tell with the breathing tube in place. The doctors quickly pull out the tube as one of the nurses rubs a moist sponge in and around Bischoff's mouth. He takes a deep gasp and starts....laughing? Bischoff is laughing! The entire team stands in stunned silence as Bischoff starts tearing out his IV tubes and EKG/EEG monitors. "What the gently caress?" one of them mutters as Bischoff gets out of bed and stumbles, his legs weak from atrophy. He slowly crawls to a crate on wheels and pulls himself up, using the crate to scoot along. The medical team watches in silence as Bischoff makes his way slowly down the hallway.

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Alright folks, it's time for the main event! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkbKAp3YTgw Jeff Jarrett comes down to the ring with his signature guitar, talking poo poo to the crowd the entire way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCF9-FvaR7k Sting comes out, wearing the title and carrying his baseball bat. Both men wait in their corners for the introductions. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for your main event. This match is for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship and is an Immortal Diamond Of Doom Death Match! Your challenger: from Nashville, Tennessee and weighing in at 229 pounds...Jeff Jarrett! And your champion: from Every Man's Nightmare, weighing in at 250 pounds...STING!" Sting raises his bat high and stares down Jarrett. Both men move towards the center of the ring and the ref rings the bell. This match is on! Both men go in for a collar and elbow tie up. Sting ends up with a wrist lock, wrenching Jarrett's arm as he gets the leverage. Jarrett reverses into a wrist lock of his own, then puts Sting in a headlock. Sting sends Jarret into the ropes, then hits a dropkick catching Jarrett on the rebound! Sting goes for a quick pin: 1...Jarret kicks out!

Sting picks Jarret up and hits him with a vicious knife edge chop! Jarrett returns the favor! Both men exchange chops then Sting tosses Jarrett into the corner and goes for a Stinger Splash but no one's home! Sting hits the top turnbuckle and staggers back. Jarrett goes for thequick schoolboy roll up: 1....Sting kicks out! Both men go at each other with some vicious forearms, then Sting goes for an Irish Whip but Jarrett reverses into a swinging neckbreaker! Sting sits up only to eat a shotgun dropkick from Jarrett! Jarrett quickly moves in for a crossface but Sting reverses the hold into a sleeper! Jarrett refuses to submit! He gets a hand in under Sting's arm and breaks out of the hold, both men scrambling to their feet. Jarrett comes in for a short arm lariat but Sting ducks and catches Jarrett underneath the chin, readying for the Scorpion Death Drop! Jarrett turns the hold over and tries for the Stroke! Sting stops the leg sweep but gets a knee to the gut and a powerbomb for his efforts! Jarrett goes for the pin: 1...2... Sting kicks out! Jarret potatoes Sting with a vicious uppercut then hits him with a scoop powerslam and quickly locks in a figure four! Sting fights back in obvious pain and manages to turn the hold over and reverse the pressure! Jarret releases and scrambles away, going for his guitar. Sting kicks him in the ribs, then picks up and irish whips Jarrett into the corner and follows up with a Stinger splash! Jarrett staggers out and Sting hits an inverted atomic drop, freezing Jarrett in his tracks. Sting hits the ropes and goes for a slingshot crossbody! Sting hooks the leg for a pin: 1....2... Jarrett kicks out!

Sting quickly gets Jarrett up and pops him with a right hand, but Jarrett retaliates with a kick to the ding ding! Sting doubles over and Jarrett retrieves his guitar and cracks the Champion over the head! Jarrett struts his stuff around the ring, celebrating his forthcoming victory! We may have a new champion, folks! Jarrett goes for the pin: 1.....2...STING KICKS OUT!! Sting is battered, his facepaint smeared from the guitar shot but he struggles to his feet. Jarrett seems exasperated, pulling Sting up for a suplex but Sting blocks with his leg! He unleashes a vicious knife edge chop to Jarrett's throat! Jarrett's face goes red as he staggers back, giving Sting an opening for a powerbomb! Sting goes for the prawn cover...no he grabs Jarrett's legs and puts him in the Scorpion Death Lock! Jarrett fights but can't hold on and taps! STING RETAINS!

**************************************************************************

The ref hands Sting the title and he holds it high, drinking in the cheers of the crowd. His victory celebration is suddently interrupted as Immortal comes streaming down the ramp and come towards the ring. Suddenly, Bischoff's music hits! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oSqS-M1LYA Bischoff stumbles out of the entrance way onto the ramp, blood dripping down his arms from tearing out his IV tubes. He screams something but the microphones are not able to catch it. All the members of Immortal are in complete shock as Sting slips away through the crowd. This has been Hardcore Justice folks, see you on Impact!


Apologies it took so long, had to write up the bulk of it on my own. Shout out to Senerio for giving us a hand and writing the Bully Ray-Shelley match and Junpei for writing the Knockouts match. Not Bad for our first PPV!

Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 07:28 on Feb 17, 2017

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

This is Jeremy D. Borash here. Unfortunately I ended up getting locked in a utility closet by Immortal during Hardcore Justice so I couldn't be there when the boss woke up. But never fear! I'll find out another way to get a promotion. Without further ado, here's Impact and Xplosion!



quote:


Impact opens with Hulk Hogan walking into his office, and sees Bischoff having a hushed conversation on the phone. Bischoff seems to be speaking with a....SPanish accent? "Next week, yes. Bring it. We'll use it....I assure you." After Bischoff hangs up, Hogan says how it's good to see him up and working again, that it hasn't been the same without him. Bischoff smiles...he seems....different. His hair is slicked back and he's wearing a dark suit and black dress shirt sans tie. "Well Hogan, it is great to be back. I feel, like a new man! I feel...reborn!" Bischoff says with a smile and a glint of....something in his eyes. He stands up from the desk and paces to the side, tapping his finger against his chin. "The old Eric Bischoff is dead. He died in that hospital bed, broken. I am a new man, I am...Enrico Bischoffo, and do not forget it!" Hogan stands there, absolutely...puzzled. "Uhhhh, ok...Enrico." Hogan smiles "I'm just glad to have you back, brother." Bishoff pats Hogan on the shoulder "Yes, and I have you to thank for bringing me back! If you didn't bring me to the Impact Zone to feel the....energy from Hardcore Justice, I would have never woken up. When I opened my eyes I saw Steiner choking a bloody Abyss and this thought was born in my barely conscious brain." Hogan nods, listening intenty.

"You see Hogan, I understood what the people want. I understood, at that moment what they NEEDED. They need violence!" Bischoffo laughed slapping Hogan on the back. Hogan nods slowly "I think I get it brother, you want to show the people some real violent poo poo." Bischoffo nods "Yes, you see?! Starting tonight, we will embark upon a journey. We will bring the greatest warriors and treasures to TNA. We will put on the most amazing, violent spectacle for the fans. That is what the people want!" Bischoffo walks over to the bar and pours a couple of drinks. "The only thing missing tonight, is gold. And we will give them gold! Every title will be defended tonight!" Hogan seems taken aback. "Every title? But Jarrett and Abyss aren't cleared after their matches last night." Bischoffo walks over with a couple glasses and hands Hogan one. "Ah yes, a small detail; very unfortunate. But they will get their chances, eventually. Right now, let us toast....TO VIOLENCE!" Hogan and Bischoffo toast with a clink of their glasses and smiles. "To violence, Brother."

***************************************************************************

Crimson faces Hernandez 1st round Best at Super Hossing (BASH presented by Hoss' Loaded Burgers) Match. Crimson hits the Red Sky on Hernandez for the pin

***************************************************************************

Okato is out with Samoa Joe for a match with Jack Evans. Shockingly to some, but seemingly not to Joe, Okato completely controls the match, before locking in the Red Ink for the submission victory.

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Mickie James comes out to the ring and grabs a microphone, slinging the Knockouts belt over her taped up shoulder. "Unfortunately, tonight I am unable to compete due to an injury I suffered in my match at Hardcore Justice at the hands of those.....Joshi" she punctuates the sentence by spitting. "So tonight, I cannot defend my Knockouts Championship against Io Shirai. It's not happening, period. Doctor's orders!" Suddenly Velvet Sky's music hits and she comes to the top of the ramp. Before she can even start however, Bischoffo's music hits! Enrico Bischoffo is addressing the Impact Zone for the first time!!! Enrico smiles, stepping between the hot Skyjin wife and the ring. "Well Mickie, you're right. Without a doctor's clearance I cannot have you defend your title. However, I cannot bear to leave Io Shirai out of a match. She is an amazing purveyor of violence, as you well know from what happened to your friend Madison Rayne." Mickie snarls at that last barb, realizing she's on Bischoffo's poo poo list. "So I am going to add two more women to tonight's tag title match to make up for you and Io not competing. I'm making it a Triple Threat Tag Match for the Knockouts Tag Championship! It will be Brooke and Tara defending the Knockouts Tag Team titles against both the team of Angelina Love and Madison Rayne, AND Io and Mio Shirai!" Bischoffo grins as Mickie glares at him from the ring. He heads back up the ramp while the Hot Skyjin Wife beams.

***************************************************************************

In a match built from Xplosion (which we all know everyone watches), Tony Nese takes on "Mr. Olympic" Jeff Cobb. Try as he might, Nese is unable to overcome the size advantage of Cobb. Cobb smothers Nese and tosses him around like a rag doll. Cobb hits a series of rolling gutwrench suplexes then smoothly transitions the final suplex into a Wrath of the Cobb!
Our lovely announce team goes over a graphic for the BASH (presented by Hoss' Loaded Burgers), updated with the Steiner and Crimson victories.
In the first round of the BASH (presented by Hoss' Loaded Burgers), we get Kevin Steen against Michael Elgin. Michael Elgin gets occasional bits of offense, but the match is largely controlled by Steen. However, Elgin hits Steen with a MASSIVE lariat, then goes for a BIG BOY SENTON, which misses. As Elgin gets up, he gets tossed up into the air for a Papa Powerbomb, and then lifted for a Poutine Piledriver as Kevin Steen advances in the tournament.

***************************************************************************

Jenerikku (from Yamagata, Japan) comes out for a TV Title defense against Brother Pope D'Angelo Dinero, when Bully Ray and Bully Devon attack him from behind. Jenerikku recieves a vicious 3D through the announce table, and though the match is called off, the damage has been done! Referees and Security come out to check on Jenerikku and help him backstage as Team 3D celebrates.

***************************************************************************

Backstage, Sting is interviewed by Ric Flair, and asked, with Jarrett out of the way, what's next for the Stinger? Sting says that he's got no opponent set up for No Surrender, so who knows? From what we heard earlier tonight though, things are only going to get more crazy, and this Sting is more than fine with that!

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Austin Aries successfully defends the X-Division Championship against Douglas Williams making him tap with the False Flag.

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Io and Mio Shirai (W/Velvet Sky) face Tessmacher/Tara and Love/Rayne for the Knockouts Tag Championships. This is a fast paced match with the Joshi unleashing devastating offense. Io hits a huge moonsault onto Tessmacher and Mio takes out both Love and Rayne with a dropkick to stop them from breaking the pin. Io and Mio Shirai are your new Knockouts Tag Champions!


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Beer Money come out for a tag title defense, when they are attacked by Bully Ray and Bully Devon before the match, and put through tables! Team 3D is on a rampage tonight, no one is safe!

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Samoa Joe is walking backstage, when he gets sneak attacked by a man with a pipe. We scroll up, and it's. MISTERRRRR. ANDERSON. Anderson stands over Joe's prone body, hissing "You're not so tough without your little buddy watching your back, are ya, Joe?" Anderson continues to hit Joe with the pipe until he gets pulled off by security.

***************************************************************************

Sting vs. Kazarian for the TNA World Title. Sting is clearly still feeling the effects of last night, which allows Kazarian to keep thwarting his offense, but eventually Sting hits a flurry of punches and the Stinger Splash. Kazarian staggers out from the corner only to catch a Scorpion Death Drop! The Stinger locks in the Scorpion Death Lock for the submission victory and the successful defense!

Post-match, AJ Styles attacks Kazarian as revenge for the vicious attack on his boys. Daniels tries to attack Styles from behind, but is cut off by Sting! Daniels and Kazarian bail, while Sting and Styles celebrate in the ring.

Another B show!


quote:

Cheerleader Melissa and Sara Del Rey squash a couple of jobbers. Melissa hits Butterfly Kisses (vertebreaker) for the pin
Prince Puma and Hernandez defeat The Boys
Impact Recap
Future Shock cut a promo
Misaki Ohata defeats Winter with the Black Dahlia

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Hey folks team TNA is looking for another member to help with booking and more importantly, writing. I'm doing the heavy lifting on both right now and unfortunately it's not sustainable going forward. I will be on vacation from March 22-April 10 so we will need someone to pick up the slack while I'm gone.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Cobb isn't in the same stable and he's still pretty green in 2011. Unfortunately he's just not ready yet to become A MONSTER.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



quote:

Show Opens with a Video Package for NO SURRENDER showing various storylines

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Cheerleader Melissa versus Tara. Melissa gets the upper hand quickly with a series of elbow strikes and suplexes. She hits an Air Raid crash on Tara and ties her legs up into a modified indian deathlock. Melissa bends Tara in half with the deathlock until she taps.

**********************************

Jeff Cobb versus Tony Nese. Cobb overwhelms Nese, tossing him around with a series of brutal suplexes before planting him with a deadlift german. Cobb points to the top rope and hits a shooting star press for the pin.

**********************************

We cut backstage and Samoa Joe and Okato storm into Enrico Bischoffo's office, angrily glaring at Bischoffo and the Hardys. Bischoffo smiles disarmingly from behind his desk. "Ahh, welcome boys. What can I do for you?" Joe glances to Okato, then over to Bischoffo "What can you do for me? It's pretty simple. Give me that piece of poo poo Anderson this Sunday" he snarls. "He cost me a shot at winning the BASH tournament and getting a shot at the title." Bischoffo leans back in his chair, tapping his chin thouightfully as he watched Joe intently. "Yes.....yes...I can see from the look in your eyes you plan on hurting Anderson, am I right?" Joe nods "I plan on breaking him in half. I plan on shoving that lead pipe up his rear end!" he yells, leaning over the desk. Bischoffo leans forward to Joe and points up at him. "Yes, yes I believe you! You've got it. You and Anderson at No Surrender!" Joe nods then turns to face the Hardys, Okato stepping up to his side as the four men stare each other down, before Joe and Okato leave.

**********************************

Beer Money and Die Generiese versus Team 3d (Devon, Bully ray, Brother pope)- This one never becomes a match, it's just an all out brawl that results in Roode going through a table, Bully Ray and Generiese bloody, and Brother Pope getting powerbombed through the timekeeper's area. Bischoffo comes out and announces that Devon and Bully Ray will face Beer Money at No Surrender in a No DQ match.

**********************************

Future Shock versus Jack Evans and Prince Puma. A back and forth match between the two young tag teams as they look to establish dominance in the very competitive TNA Tag Team Division. Cole and O'Reilly manage to avoid the flippy moves of Mexican America and keep them at bay with strikes. That changes when Puma hits a jumping rope assisted enziguri on O'Reilly, sending him down as Puma gets to the top rope and sets up the shooting star press. Puma goes for it but O'Reilly catches him in the triangle! Puma taps!

**********************************

The British Invasion storm the ring, followed by the Briscoes. Everyone stares each other down! Bischoffo's music hits. He comes out to the top of the ramp with a microphone. "Well, I see you all have quite a situation here. I have an idea on how to resolve this. You see, I am an expert at conflict resolution. The British Invasion, Future Shock, The Briscoes, and Mexican America will fight at No Surrender in a 4 way match for a shot at the Tag team Titles at Bound For Glory!" THe crowd lets out a loud cheer at that. "Oh yes, it will be a LADDER MATCH!!!!!" The crowd really likes it!

**********************************

Bischoffo comes down to the ring and invites Io, Mio, and The Hot Skyjin wife down. When they come into the ring he offers them a unique opportunity, turn in the knockouts tag belts to be retired for a shot at the knockouts title at No surrender. They reluctantly agree and hand over the Tag Team Titles. Oh but he said "a shot", singular. Io and Mio need to fight to determine who gets the shot. RIGHT NOW. RING THE BELL

**********************************

Io versus Mio Shirai. The action is dead even between the two as they fight it out, exchanging brutal strikes and suplexes. Both sisters know each other so well, it's difficult for one to get the upper hand on the other until Io blasts Mio with a head kick, staggering her. Io senses her window of opportunity to put away her sister and hits a series of roll through German suplexes into a pinning Dragon Suplex! Io wins!

**********************************

Ric Flair is in the ring for an interview with Kevin Steen, who sets aside a large picture of his son, Owen. "So Kevin, you face the biggest challenge of your career so far as you are going up against Big Poppa Pump this Sunday. What is going through your mind as you prepare for this match?" Steen rubs his beard "Well Ric, the #1 thing on my mind right now is to win this match for my son, Owen. He hates Big Poppa Pump with a passion. A lot of people here in the Impact Zone have misunderstood me. They've called me a sick man. They've called me a monster. But I'm just doing this to be a good role model and hero for my son." Flair nods "How are you preparing for the match? Big Poppa Pump is a seasoned veteran, he's got a number of tricks up his sleeve saved up from all these years of competing." Steen shakes his head "I'm a seasoned veteran too Ric, everyone forgets I've been doing this for over ten years! I'm ready for everything Steiner can throw at me. I've seen plenty in my time. I've wrestled legends, I know what it's like to step into the ring with someone who has decades of experience. I'm..."

Steen is cut off by Big Poppa Pump's music! Big Poppa Pump comes down to the ring and immediately kicks a hole through the picture of Owen Steen! Steen lunges towards Steiner but Flair gets in the middle of it, trying to keep the peace! Steiner grabs a mic and stares down Steen. "SCREW YOUR STUPID KID!" He snarls, pointing a finger in Steen's face. "You think because you faced some old geezers in some lovely gym somewhere in front of 50 white trash morons you're ready to face the Genetic Freak?! You're even dumber than your kid!" Steen's eyes go dead as Steiner insults his kid. A sick smile crosses his face as he listens to Steiner go on. "I'm gonna show you what it's like to step into the ring with a real legend. I've been in the ring with the best from this generation, from last generation, and the generation before that. AND I'VE BEATEN THEM ALL! I've held championships all over the world, I've won more tournaments than I can remember. This is no different! This is just gonna be another day punching the clock for Big Poppa Pump. And when I'm done, your kid and your wife are gonna be calling me Daddy!" Steen shoves Flair to the side and both begin brawling in the ring! Security has to come down and separate the two! The crowd is hot as hell! THIS SUNDAY AT NO SURRENDER, KEVIN loving STEEN VERSUS SCOTT STEINER!!

**********************************

Hogan storms into Bischoffo's office with Jarrett, Abyss, and Gunner. "God Dammit, we can't let Steiner get away with this bullshit! He's running around like he owns the place! We've got to do something about this!" Bischoffo leans back in his chair and glances at the Hardys, one over each shoulder. "Well Hogan, it sounds like you have something in mind already. What is it?" Hogan smiles "Hell yes I have something in mind, brother. Keep in mind I still own 50% of this worthless god damned company. Abyss and Jarrett vs. Steiner in a handicap match. They'll put Steiner in his place and show him that we're still in charge." Bischoffo nods. "Sounds good, just keep in mind I need Steiner to main event No Surrender on Sunday. So soften him up a bit, give us a nice display of violence. But remember, we need him to wrestle on Sunday. So don't go overboard." Hogan rubs his chin "Hmmm, I see your point. Even with that drat head injury you're still a smart man, brother." Enrico smiles "Thank you, and remember. Soften him up, teach him a lesson, but don't break anything."

**********************************

Abyss and Jarret with Hogan and Gunner ringside versus Scott Steiner. The bell rings and both the Monster and Jarrett immediately start beating down Steiner. It's an unrelenting assault as both men smash a variety of weapons over Steiner as he lays prone in the ring until the ref declares Steiner unable to continue and rings the bell. The beat down continues until Bischoffo's music hits! He comes down with the Hardys who get between Immortal and Steiner.

**********************************

Bischoffo screams at Hogan that he warned him not to go overboard. Hogan grins and steps up to get in Bischoffo's face. We get a stare down between Immortal, Bischoffo, and the Hardys! NO SURRENDER IS THIS SUNDAY FOLKS! ORDER TODAY!

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

The Wrestling Parent - September 8th, 2011



So I finally got around to taking Owen to Kung Fu Panda 2 the other day. I was hoping we'd have a nice relaxing time, I'd just gotten off a couple week stretch on the road. But after just a few minutes of talking with him before the movie I realized something was wrong. After the movie I took him out for ice cream and asked him about it. He came out and told me he was worried about me facing Steiner on Sunday. Apparently some kids at school had been teasing him, telling him that I was a bad man and that Steiner was going to "crush me". He said he hated seeing Steiner and how he treated people. And he hated Steiner's stupid goatee (can't say I disagree with him).

The teasing had really gotten to him, I guess his schoolmates hadn't taken kindly to me trying to become the new big hero in TNA and he'd been hearing it for weeks. I told him it was gonna be OK. I told him I was going to beat Steiner on Sunday and raise the Best at Super Hossing Trophy. And he'd be there to celebrate with me. He nearly dropped his ice cream cone. He's never had a chance to see me wrestle and I figured this would be perfect. I beat Steiner and this will be a memory he will never forget. I'll always be his hero. He swelled up with confidence and pride and I could see the fear wash away. I was gonna kick Steiner's rear end and my little dude will have a ringside seat.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Sorry I've been slow on getting No Surrender posted. I really need someone else to help write/book if we want to pick up the pace.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



quote:

"Welcome to No Surrender! We get a shot panning around the Impact Zone as fans are ready for a night of amazing action from the hottest promotion in Professional Wrestling! Ladders are scattered about the ringside area in preparation for our opening match, a four way ladder match for a shot at the Tag Team titles at Bound For Glory. Let's not waste any time! Lynyrd Skynyrd blasts through the arena as #DEMBOYS THE BRISCOES come down to the ring, waving the stars and bars and shouting vaguely offensive things at the crowd! Next, we get the British Invasion decked out in the Union Jack. Prince Puma and Hernandez come down to the ring on low rider bikes to ""Low Rider"" by War. Finally, ""Faithless"" by Injected plays and we've got Future Shock! The four teams stand in their respective corners and stare each other down as the contract for the Tag Team Title Match at Bound For Glory is lowered in a case above the ring. All four teams glance at each other, then everyone looks over to Hernandez who towers above the rest of the competitors. Hernandez looks at everyone staring at him, confused for a moment. His face turns to a look of horror as all the other competitors rush over and simultaneously hit Hernandez with superkicks! Puma watches astonished as his partner crumples into a heap before the match! The bell rings and everyone starts brawling right off the bat!

Kyle O'Reilly starts off against Magnus, hitting the big Brit with a series of leg kicks. Magnus manages to fight through the pain and blasts Kyle with a European uppercut! Kyle staggers back through the ropes and stands up on the apron Magnus charges at him going for a lariat! Kyle gets his bearings and hops up, catching Magnus' outstretched arm and putting him in a rope-assisted armbar! Magnus howls in pain as Kyle wrenches on his arm. Douglas Williams runs over to help his partner and they pull Kyle up into a vertical position. Magnus turns around, preparing to powerbomb Kyle when Prince Puma leapfrogs Williams and hits Magnus and Kyle with a flying enziguri! Both men tumble to the outside as Puma goes for a quick follow up roundhouse to Williams, who ducks it and grabs Puma in a rear waistlock and goes for a German Suplex. Puma does a full backflip in mid air and lands on his feet. Williams shows off to the crowd, proud of his still sharp ring reactions when Puma leaps onto his shoulders from behind. POISONED RANA! Williams was't sharp enough! Puma turns around to get hit with a lariat from Jay Briscoe! The larger Briscoe brother immediately hits Puma with his signature jabs and floors him with a snap suplex!

Meanwhile the rest of the combatants have moved outside the ring and brawl back and forth. Hernandez slowly slides out of the ring, regaining his composure as he sees most of the folks responsible for superkicking the poo poo out of him. He picks up a ladder and chucks it into the melee! Bodies go flying! He picks up another and another, throwing them with little regard for aim! Satisified with his work at the sight of a tangle of bodies and ladders, he slides into the ring and whacks Jay Briscoe with a shoulder block, sending him to the outside. He checks on Puma who needs a moment to clear the cobwebs before giving the thumbs up. Hernandez turns around to see everyone getting to their feet and winks at Puma, pointing a thumb into the air. Puma nods and sprints towards the ropes getting a full head of steam as Hernandez turns his back to the outside and squats down a bit. Puma hops up and stands on Hernandez's shoulders, Puma facing the opposite way from Hernandez. Hernandez turns around, so that he faces the outside and Puma has his back to the wrestlers on the outside. What the hell are they doing. Puma steadies himself and HITS A MOONSAULT OFF HERNANDEZ'S SHOULDERS TO THE OUTSIDE! HE CRASHES THROUGH MULTIPLE COMPETITORS SENDING BODIES EVERYWHERE.

Hernandez goes outside and grabs a couple ladders and slides them into the ring. He quickly sets one up and heads for the briefcase when Doug Williams climbs up behind and grabs him in a rear waistlock! Williams german suplexes Hernandez off the ladder! The big man hits the canvas hard, shaking the ring and knocking the ladder over. Williams scrambles to his feet as Magnus slides in and both set to work getting the ladder up. They have the ladder set up when Magnus gets blasted with a superkick! Williams turns around to eat a roundhouse kick! Future Shock is in the ring! They climb the ladder when the Briscoes scramble up and start brawling with them! Prince Puma runs in and pushes the ladder over, sending all four men flying! Williams pops up and grabs Puma in a rear waistlock, Magnus bounces off the ropes and hits a big boot to the face of Puma as Williams snap german suplexes the Aztec warrior! The Briscoes and Future Shock attack the British Invasion! All six men are brawling as Hernandez staggers to his feet and goes for a big double lariat! The Briscoes manage to maneuver over and hit Hernandez with a double hip toss! Hernandez gets up to one knee to eat an Axe and Smash from Kyle, then a shining wizard from Cole! Magnus picks up the big man in a bear hug and nods to Williams, who climbs to the top rope and hits a diving european uppercut! Hernandez is out cold!

The Briscoes hit quick superkicks on Future Shock! They face off with the British Invasion and start throwing bombs! Jay hits a number of brutal right hands on Williams as Mark takes down Magnus with some of his signature redneck kung fu! Jay picks up Williams in a tiger driver position, and Mark springboards off the ropes, SPIKE JAY DRILLER!! Magnus tries to get his feet but is stopped with double drop kicks! Jay quickly scrambles up the ladder as Mark stands at the base, holding a kung fu stance as he prepares to take down anyone who'd interfere! Jay Briscoe pulls down the briefcase! The Briscoes win and will get a tag team title shot at Bound For Glory!"

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Io Shirai comes down to the ring with the Hot Skyjin Wife for her title match with Mickie James. Io wears a cat-style lucha mask which she removes when she comes to the ring. Mickie comes down to the ring. We get intros and the match is under way! Io immediately goes for a roundhouse which Mickie ducks and counters with a sweep. Io gets taken down and Mickie goes for the STF but Io turns over and kicks Mickie's legs out, sending her sprawling into Io's guard. Io quickly transitions off her back into a crossface, trying to trap Mickie's arm but Mickie gets to the ropes! Io breaks the hold and both women stand up and circle each other, stalking and analyzing as they plan their next move. Mickie goes in for a collar and elbow tie up, Io reverses into a wrist lock but Mickie drops to her back and kips up, reversing into a throw, sending Io to the canvas. Mickie hits an elbow drop then a knee drop and goes for the cover: 1...2... No Io kicks out! Mickie works over Io over with a series of strikes, but Io comes in for a discus elbow and gets caught by Mickie with an arm trap neckbreaker! Mickie follows up with a lifting DDT and goes for the pin: 1...2.. Io barely gets a shoulder up! The Hot Skyjin wife screams out for io, trying to encourage her to get up and fight back.

Io manages to get up in the corner with the aid of the ropes and Mickie rushes in, going for a monkey flip! Io lands on her feet and spins around to catch Mickie with a vicious roundhouse kick! Io goes for the pin! 1...2... No, Io almost had it there! Io wastes no time in hitting Mickie with a leg kick, taking her base out from under her and following up with a kneebar! Mickie is in pain as Io wrenches hard on her leg, stretching the various ligaments and tendons in that left leg! Mickie manages to make her way to the ropes and Io breaks the hold, but barely lets Mickie stand up before hitting her with a dropkick, then a german suplex! 1...2.....Mickie barely gets a shoulder up in time! Io follows up with a standing shooting star press! 1....2...no Mickie again gets out of it! Mickie rolls to the outside to give herself a break, circling the ring and eying her opponent. Io screams at Mickie and tries to draw her back in! Mickie slides in and avoids the quick roundhouse kick from Io and hits the snapmare takeover, then sprints into the ropes and hits a low angle dropkick right to the back of Io's head! Mickie covers her....1...2....no Io kicks out! Mickie continues to work over Io with strikes and slams before Io gets the upper hand and uses a drop toe hold to put Mickie laying on the middle rope! Io sprints across the ring, bouncing off the ropes for momentum and hits a tiger feint kick! She drags Mickie towards the corner and motions for the moonsault! Io springboards to the top rope but the ref is distracted by someone, It's Sara Del Rey! Cheerleader Melissa pops up on the apron and cracks Io in the face with an elbow sending her tumbling off the ropes! Mickie manages to recover mere seconds before Io does, and sees her opponent dazed. The perfect opportunity! Mickie hits the Mick kick! Io crumples into a heap as Mickie goes for the pin: 1...2...3... Mickie James retains the TNA Knockouts Title!"


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"Brother Pope D'Angelo Dinero comes out to Team 3D's theme music, wearing a Team 3D shirt and his trademark surgical mask and sunglasses, both emblazoned with ""3D"" in rhinestones. He makes the 3D hand gesture in the ring and awaits the champion. ""OLE OLE OLE....OLE....OLE!!"" El Generico's theme blasts through the impact zone as he comes down to the ring, high fiving various fans and posing for a picture with a couple of kids. Generico gets into the ring and gets up on the turnbuckles, posing with the title before handing it over to the ref. We get in ring introductions, it's Brother Pope vs. El Generico for the TV Title. The bell rings and we're underway! Pope and Generico circle the ring, sizing each other up before Generico goes in for a wrist lock and gets caught with a quick jab by the challenger. Pope nails a few more quick jabs then follows up with a roundhouse but Generico ducks the blow and goes for the Blue Thunder Bong right away! Pope spins out of the way and goes for a straight right but Generico has it scouted and grabs the arm then hits a quick Lucha Arm Drag! Both pop up and Pope goes for another but Generico again hits the arm drag! Both pop up again and this time Pope fakes the straight right, suckering Generico in for a left handed uppercut! The Champion is staggered as Pope goes for a Codebreaker but Generico catches Pope and drops him into a sitout facebuster! The Champ goes for a quick pin attempt but Pope kicks out at 2. Generico sends Pope into the ropes and hits a quick dropkick, sending the challenger towards the corner.

Generico climbs the turnbuckles and pumps the crowd up, then hits a moonsault! Pin attempt 1.....2...No Pope kicks out! Generico throws Pope into the corner and sprints over to follow up with the Yakuza kick! Pope ducks out of the way and Generico gets his leg stuck in the top turnbuckle. Pope quickly takes advantage by hitting a rope trap neckbreaker! He goes for a quick pin on Generico: 1....2...the champ kicks out! Pope throws Generico into the ropes and hits a sitout spinebuster then quickly transitions into the scissored armbar! Generico is in serious trouble here as he gets wrenched in half by Brother Pope! Generico howls in agony as he scoots his body to the side and gets a foot on the bottom rope! Pope holds on for a good chunk of the 5 count and finally lets go. Pope picks up Generico and hits him with a quick STO then sends him into the corner. He pulls his knee pads down and points to Generico who is slumped over the turnbuckles. Pope sprints and leaps at the Generic Luchador aiming to drive his knees right into the spine with the DDE but Generico comes to and drops down, rolling out of the ring! Pope collides into the turnbuckles and tumbles out on the other side of the ringpost from the champ! Generico dives throught the first and second turnbuckles and catches Brother Pope with a tornado DDT! He quickly rolls Pope back into the ring and sends him into the corner, following up with a Yakuza Kick! Pope staggers forward into the waiting arms of Generico for a Blue Thunder bong! Generico holds him down for the pin: 1...2...3! El Generico retains the title!"


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"Team 3D comes out to their regular theme music, carrying a couple of tables. Beer money comes down with a couple of steel chairs and a big ice chest full of tasty beverages. We get in ring intros for the No Disqualification championship match and the bell rings. We are underway! Storm and Roode immediately start whipping beer cans at Team 3D! Bully Ray and Bully Devon take a few shots and let out a yell, picking up a table and using it as a shield to bullrush their opponents, knocking them down! Bully Devon grabs Storm and throws him to the outside while Bully Ray brawls with Roode. Bully Ray hits Roode with a series of right hands then a powerslam. Ray goes for a quick pin: 1...2... Roode kicks out.

Meanwhile Devon throws Storm into the barricade. Storm quickly recovers and hits Devon with a knee to the midsection. Storm goes for a pump kick but Devon catches the blow, but Storm follows up with a quick enziguri! Devon staggers and Storm follows up with a quick snap suplex on the outside! He picks up Devon and sends him crashing into the apron! Storm tries to follow up with a high knee but Devon barely evades him and follows up with a bionic elbow! Storm staggers back, giving Devon an opening to blast him with a kick of his own. Devon takes a moment to recover from the suplex then grabs Storm by the arm and tries to send him into the ringpost, but Storm reverses! Devon crashes face first into the steel post and crumples into a heap. Storm slides into the ring and clubs Bully Ray over the back, giving the assist to his Tag Team partner!

Storm helps Roode up and both men nod at each other and give a beer drinking hand gesture then proceed to hit alternating chops on Bully Ray! Ray staggers into the ropes but Beer Money isn't about to let the man from D-ville get away! Roode hits a powerslam on Bully Ray and both men hit alternating elbow drops onto Ray. Both men pick Ray up and send him into the ropes. Roode picks him up and goes for the spinning spinebuster, right into a double knee backcracker from Storm! Roode goes for the pin: 1.....2....DEVON BARELY BREAKS UP THE PIN! Bully ray slinks away towards the cooler as Devon uses the element of surprise to hit a double lariat! Ray helps himself up and runs over to start stomping on the prone Storm while Devon is in a full mount on top of Roode and pounding away on the Canadian. Ray sets up Storm and wipes his wet hands off on Storm's back, then hits him with a piledriver! Devon hits a lifting inverted DDT on Roode, then kicks him out of the ring. Ray grabs Storm's legs and spreads them, pointing at Devon then at the top rope. Devon nods and goes up, both brothers look at each other and yell ""WASSSSUPPPPP"" then Devon hits a diving headbutt into Storm's dick! (What is this, 2000? Who the hell says wasssuppp anymore?) Ray points to Devon. ""DEVON.....GET THE TABLE!!"" He shouts. It's time to take a ride to D-ville folks! Devon meticulously sets up the table as Ray picks up Storm. He sends Storm into the ropes and they hit the 3D on Storm through the table!

Devon is about to go for the pin when Roode runs in and pulls him away from his partner! Bully Ray sneaks up behind Roode and spins him around, then opens a shook up can of beer right in Roode's face! Stinging foam sprays Roode in the eyes and he screams in agony! He's blind! ""Devon, set up another loving table!"" Bully Ray screams. Devon sets up another and both men hit the 3D on a blinded Roode! Bully Ray casually saunters over to the cooler and grabs a couple of beers. Both men go for the pin on Roode and crack open a couple of cold ones! 1....2....3! TEAM 3D ARE YOUR NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Team 3D takes their belts and dump the rest of their beers over the fallen former champions, then dump the rest of the ice chest over them! They leave Beer Money on ice as they head up the ramp celebrating their victory!"


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"Next is Austin Aries vs Alex Shelley. Shelley comes down to the ring and awaits the champion. Aries comes down the ramp with his trademark aviators, calling various members of the Impact Zone cucks and betas. Aries climbs into the ring, handing off his title and watching Shelley with a confident smirk. We get in ring intros for the Championship match and the bell rings! Aries starts off strong, not letting Shelley have a minute to breathe before he’s on him again. Shelley attempts a preemptive counter to The American Alpha’s moonsault, only for A-Quadruple to jump down from the rope instead. Shelley is tough, but Aries is more cunning. Shelley whips Aries into the ropes, only for Aries to kick him on the rebound. Before Shelley can even react, Aries whips him into the corner, and runs to the other corner, pauses to yell at an audience member for being a beta cuck, and then runs at Shelley for the IE--No! Shelley dodges, Aries kicks the ringpost instead!

Shelley looks down at the stunned Aries, and the momentum shifts his way! Before Aries can get his bearings, Shelley is on him, paying him back for every hit. Aries plan clearly didn’t account for getting hit in the face, and it shows. Shelley grabs Aries and hits a Sliced Bread #2 on him!

1...no! Aries kicks out. Shelley seemed to have planned for this, as he doesn’t even look at the ref, already back on Aries. The two trade fists, forearms, and elbows, each man trying to show the other who is the true Alpha male! Aries swings at Shelley, who ducks and picks him up for the WA4!! Aries tries to escape, but Shelley hits it! He doesn’t even attempt a pin, instead picking him up again for a second, but no! His grip slips! Aries lands on his feet!

Taking advantage of this momentary lapse, Aries hits a discus elbow on the shocked Shelley, knocking him to the canvas. Wasting no time, Aries goes for the False Flag! Shelley struggles, but has no choice but to tap out to the False Flag! The American Alpha is still the X-Division Champion!


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"Before Shelley even leaves the ring, Aries has a microphone in his hands. “Now EVERYONE knows that this snowflake here’s talk is just that--talk. I am the one true Alpha in this company, but I’m feeling generous because that match was easy. Any of you betas in the audience can come in here and get a free shot at me. It’s the closest any of you libtards will ever get to a true Alpha. I can take each and every one of you whiny--”
He can’t finish the sentence, before an audience member in a Sting mask slides into the ring. Aries turns around and gets chopped in the chest! Aries stumbles back as the masked figure hits him with another brutal chop! Aries is knocked him out of the ring, tumbling to the floor. He looks up shock, as the figure stares down on him, and takes off the mask to reveal...... EDDIE EDWARDS! Edwards stares down at Aries, pointing at the title, and his theme plays as Aries scrambles back up the ramp, fear in his eyes."


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Hogan, Abyss, Jarrett, and Gunner come out to Immortal's theme music and get in the ring. Hogan grabs a microphone, smirking as he is surrounded by his boys. "So I guess Bischoffo was too much of a loving coward to show up and face us after his bullshit this past week. He didn't even show up to the arena tonight! He and the Hardys ran down to Mexico with their tails between their legs like the little bitches they are." The rest of the gang laugh and share various profanities which are picked up by the mic. "So I'm running the loving show tonight! And that means we're going to call out some unlucky saps to get their asses kicked by Double J and Abyss! They haven't had a match in a couple weeks and they need to stay fresh so that IF, and that's a big IF Bitchoffo and his Hard on Boys come back they'll be sharp and ready to kick their asses. Eric Young, Crimson! GET YOUR WORTHLESS GINGER ASSES DOWN HERE TO GET A loving BEATDOWN BROTHER!"


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Eric Young and Crimson come down to face Abyss and Jarrett. The match is really more of a handicap match as Gunner periodically interferes, and Hogan orders the Ref not to issue the disqualification. Abyss, Jarrett, and Gunner work over both Young and Crimson for a bit. The Ginger Boys eventually get some momentum back and manage to send Gunner out of the ring before turning their attention to the actual match participants. Crimson hits an exploder on Jarrett as Young hits Abyss with a piledriver. Young goes to the top rope for a Moonsault on Jarrett as Crimson pounds on Abyss. Gunner recovers and pushes Young off the top rope, sending him sprawling him to the outside! Hogan slides a guitar into the ring and Jarrett hits the kabong on Crimson! Abyss follows up with a Black Hole Slam and both stand over the fallen Crimson for a pin: 1...2....3! Immortal win! Hogan celebrates by taunting the crowd and taunting the Ginger Boys for not having souls.


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"Mr. Anderson comes down the ring ready for his match against Joe. His signature lead pipe is noticeably absent as he waits his opponent. Samoa Joe comes out with Okato and both men pose at the top of the ramp for a quick pop then Joe sprints down to the ring! He slides in and goes after Anderson, who quickly escapes to the outside! Anderson yells at Joe to get the gently caress back so he can get in! The two trade insults and profanities before the ref managers to get Joe back to his corner while Okato and Anderson trade some profanities. Anderson finally gets into the ring and the ref motions for the bell! He barely has time to turn his head away from the timekeeper's area as Joe sprints and hits a flying enziguri on Anderson! Anderson stumbles back to the corner and eats a number of precision strikes in quick succession. Joe is loving furious! Anderson manages to sneak a knee in to Joe's gut and get some breathing room. He feints the roundhouse kick, causing Joe to go for the block then hits him with a straight left followed by an enziguri! Anderson seems to have upped his striking game in preparation for this match! He goes for a quick pin: 1...no Joe kicks out! As both fights get to their feet Anderson goes for a kick to the inside of Joe's left thigh, sending a loud smack of shin on flesh throughout the arena! Joe winces and steps back, giving Anderson just enough room to hit a quick dropkick to the same leg! Joe hits the mat and Anderson goes for a knee drop but Joe rolls out of the way on pure instinct. Anderson hits the mat hard and Joe follows up with a quick elbow strike from the kneeling position.

Anderson goes down and Joe goes for the Coquina Clutch but Anderson is too close to the ropes and manages to get a foot on them to break the hold. Both men are stood up by the referee and go back at it! Anderson fakes a leg kick and goes for a lariat but Joe ducks and spins behind Anderon and grabs him for the head and arm suplex! Joe goes for the pin: 1...2.. Kick out! Anderson staggers back as Joe swarms him with more strikes. Anderson ties up with Joe and hits him with a couple of quick knees in the clinch then follows up with a powerslam! Anderson takes advantage and immediately picks up Joe and goes for the buckle bomb! The big man shakes the ring with the impact then stumbles forward right in front of the turnbuckle! Anderson goes to the top rope and motions for the Kenton bomb! He dives off the top turnbuckle but Joe rolls out of the way! Anderson hits the canvas hard as there's no water in the pool. Joe hits a big boy senton on Anderson then picks him up and puts him on the top turnbuckle! He's going for the muscle buster! Anderson has just enough awareness to rake Joe's eyes! Joe staggers back and Anderson high tails it out of there! Okato checks on Joe as Anderson sprints up the ramp and heads backstage! The ref counts Anderson out and awards Joe the victory, but Joe doesn't seem terribly happy as him arm is raised. Joe is the winner!"


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"Kazarian and Daniels come out, getting in the ring and shouting at the entranceway, taunting Sting and Styles. Both come out at the same time, fist bump at the top of the ramp then come down to the ring. Both men get in and Kaz and Daniels immediately begin attacking them! The bell rings and the match begins. Kaz and Daniels toss Sting out of the ring, then throw Styles into the ropes. Kaz his him with the lariat and Daniels goes low for the chop block! BAD ELIMINATION! Kaz goes for the pin while Daniels goes to the ropes to keep Sting from running in. 1...2...Styles kicks out! Kaz is shocked! Daniels is distracted as he turns, expectin the bell and Sting pulls him to the outside then sends does a huge Irish Whip, sending Daniels into the barricade! I guess Styles and Kaz are legal.

Styles gets up and hits a quick forearm to Kaz, them sends him into the corner and follows up with a leaping elbow strike! Kaz staggers out and AJ hits him with the dropkick! AJ goes for a quick pin: 1.....2... no Kazarian kicks out. AJ gets up and hits Kaz with a savate then enziguri kick! He pulls Kaz up and blasts him with a chop, and gets a forearm in return! Both men trade forearms in a show of fighting spirit! Styles finally hits a forearm, then a back elbow, then a pele kick! Phenomenal combo! Kazarian is down! Styles goes to the apron and looks to the crowd, they're ready! SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH! 1....2...Daniels breaks up the pin! Sting comes in to fight off Daniels as all four men brawl in the ring! Kazarian and Daniels manage to get the upper hand and knock Sting to the outside. Daniels gets outside for a quick tag from Kazaran and immediate hits a shotgun dropkick on Styles!

Daniels follows up with a series of quick elbow drops and continues to work Styles over. Daniels manages to dominate Styles until he gets hit with a surprise enziguri! Styles tags in Sting! Sting hits Daniels with a knee, then sends him into the corner for a Stinger splash! Sting goes for the pin: 1...2...No! Sting works over Daniels for a bit and gets him in a sleeper, but Daniels reverses it into a Koji Clutch! Sting manages to make it to the ropes, breaking the hold. Daniels tags in Kazarian who hits Sting with a jumping high kick then follows up with a series of leg drops and goes for the pin: 1.....2...no Sting kicks out! Sting manages to counter a spring board back elbow with a drop kick! Both men struggle to their corners and tag in their respective partners. Styles hits a flying dropkick on Daniels, then a rope assisted enziguri on Kazarian! Styles hops through the ropes and waits for Daniels to get to his feet....SPRINGBOARD ELBOW STRIKE! HE CALLS THAT THE EXCEPTIONAL ELBOW! Styles goes for the pin 1....2....3..Sting and Styles are your winners!"


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"And now for our main event, Finals of The Best at Super Hossing Tournament (presented by Hoss' Loaded Burgers. It aint a burger, unless it's a HOSS LOADED BURGER). Steen comes out first, stopping at ringside to give his son Owen a hug and gets in the ring. Steiner comes down and yells at Owen, then gets into the ring. Both men take cursory glances at the trophy, then stare each other down. It seems like a little more personal than your average tournament match between two men who have never wrestled before. Steiner laughs at Steen, pointing to his midsection ""You think your fat rear end stands a chance against me? You've never faced a real man like me before!"" The bell rings and Steen circles him, Steiner comes in for a quick lariat but Steen sidesteps him and hits the superkick! Steen gets in some offense, hitting Steiner with a series of suplexes before putting him in a headlock and taunting Steiner ""You can't do poo poo, old man! I'm going to beat your rear end in front of all these people!""

Steiner groans and fights his way out of the headlock, using a half nelson transition to get a headlock of his own. Steen gets to the rope to break the hold but as soon as they stand up Steiner hits a belly to belly suplex. Steen quickly gets up and counters with an exploder suplex of his own! Steiner hits a german suplex on Steen, who gets right back up and hits a half and half suplex on Steiner! Steiner immediately gets up and hits Steen with a dragon suplex, who gets right up and hits Steiner with the Steen breaker! Steiner gets up and smiles at Steen ""Is that all you've got? I'm going to make you bleed in front of your kid and all these white trash and rednecks!"" Steen goes for a superkick but Steiner ducks and levels Steen with a Steiner line! Steiner sends Steen into the ropes and goes for the shoulder block but Steen stands firm! ""Looks like my fat rear end is too big for you take down old man!"" He doesn't even give Steiner a chance to reply and blasts him with a right hand! Steiner staggers back and Steen sends him into the ropes then hits a high back body drop! Steen goes for the pin: 1...2... no Steiner kicks out! Steiner slides out of the ring to recover but Steen follows quickly behind. Steen sprints on the apron and hits Steiner with a soccer kick, then comes back and follows up with a senton off the ring apron! Steiner goes down and Steen pops up, pointing to the apron! He's going for the Papa Powerbomb on the apron! Steen puts Steiner's head between his legs, but Big Poppa Pump reverses it into a back body drop, sending Steen spine first onto the apron! Steiner picks Steen up and rolls him into the ring and goes for the pin: 1....2...No Steen gets a shoulder up!

Steiner works steen over with a series of stomps and goes for the Steiner recliner but Steen manages to get to the rope! The ref breaks the two fighters up and Steen bullrushes Steiner with a dropkick followed up by a big boy senton! Steen goes for the cover: 1...2....Steiner kicks out! Fatigue is beginning to set in for both men as they struggle to their feet. They trade a series of hard rights back and forth, sweat and spit flying across the ring as the men exchange blows! Steen ducks a Steiner right and catches Big Poppa Pump in a fireman's carry. DEEP SEA DIVERTICULITIS!!! Steen stumbles to the ropes and points at Owen, sweat pouring down his face as he calls out to his son. ""THIS IS FOR YOU BUDDY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"" he shouts, as his son yells something back the microphones don't quite pick up. Steen turns around and STEINER SURPRISES STEEN WITH A BOOT TO THE GUT! Steen doubles over in pain as Steiner hooks both arms, BUTTERFLY FLOAT OVER SUPLEX! Steiner quickly takes Steen's back and spreads Kevin's arms over his legs, HE'S GOT HIM IN THE STEINER RECLINER!! Steen reaches towards the ropes and his son, his face turning a dark shade of crimson as Steiner wrenches back on his neck. The ref is right there, checking on Steen to see if he submits. Steen gurgles, spit bubbling on his lips as he fights towards the ropes but Steiner uses his strength and weight to pull back and stop Kevin's momentum. Steen's eyes are watering as his arm starts to go limp. ""Oweennnnnn......"" he gasps. The ref shakes Steen's arm and yells at Kevin and gets no response. STEEN IS OUT! THE REFEREE CALLS FOR THE BELL! BIG POPPA PUMP WINS THE BEST AT SUPER HOSSING TOURNAMENT AND A TITLE SHOT AGAINST STING AT BOUND FOR GLORY!!!

Steiner flexes and poses over Steen as he slowly regains consciousness with the referee and ringside doctor checking on him. Big Poppa Pump grabs the BASH trophy and hoists it with one arm, flexing with the other. The camera cuts to Owen Steen, his face buried in his hand as he sobs. Steen finally regains his senses and rolls out of the ring, going to comfort his son as he looks up and glares daggers at Steiner as Big Poppa Pump hurls a few insults at Steen, then goes back to posing as we cut away from the Impact Zone...."


*****************************

"The screen cuts to blackness. Off in the distance....a faint light slowly approaches the camera. As the light grows we see a few shapes illuminated in flickering torchlight. As they approach we can make them out, it's Enrico Bischoffo flanked by the Hardys! Mattanza and Jeff each hold a torch as the trio makes their way through a maze of twisting stone corridors. ""Will it work? We've come all this way and left the Impact Zone in Hogan's control. We're taking a huge risk just being here."" Jeff asks. Bischoffo smiles ""The priests assured me, it will work. Did you think I'd come here just on a whim?"" Jeff nods ""Have faith, brother. The Aztec gods will be appeased, and will reward us"" Mattanza responds , his voice growly and muffled by the heavy mask. They finally reach a huge circular chamber lit by a ring of torches. A number of men in Aztec clothing surround a giant stone pit. ""Listo?"" Bischoffo asks. One of the men nods and motions to the others. They begin chanting in unison, surrounding the giant pit and gesturing.

Bischoffo nods to the Hardys who go stand against a wall, each one holding a hand over a button. The priests continue to chant, their voices rising in a crescendo of ancient Nahuatl. Bischoffo points to Mattanza, who presses a button. Suddenly a stream of something begins to drip from the ceiling. After a few seconds the drops become a trickle, then a stream, then a torrent! As the liquid rushes down we get a close up..is that....blood? The voices rise to shouts, the priests begin dancing around the pit, shouting to the heavens. Bischoffo's face contorts to a look of unbridled glee. He points to Jeff. ""AHORA!!"" he shouts. Jeff presses the button and suddenly a stream of sunlight pours in through the roof! The chants rise to a deafening roar. Bischoffo is now screaming along with them raising his arms as the pit of blood begins to bubble. Suddenly, a hand shoots out of the pool and grabs the side, then another. A figure pulls itself out of the pit, illuminated by the sunlight and covered head to toe in blood. We are unable to make out the exact features but we can tell it is a very wide, muscular man. He opens his eyes, blinking a couple times and scanning the chamber. Bischoffo cackles, his face a mask of unhinged, unadulterated glee as he takes in his new weapon of violence. "I'll be a son of a bitch....."

A B- show!

Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 19:53 on Apr 29, 2017

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



quote:

Impact opens with a No Surrender recap video

****************************

Sara Del Rey versus Misaki Ohata. Ohata gets the upper hand quickly with strikes and a german suplex. The two trade suplexes back and forth and as Ohata goes for the stretch muffler, Del Rey picks the leg and rolls her into the omoplata crossface. Ohata taps out, Del Rey is the victor.


****************************

Immortal come down the ramp, pacing the ring like a pack of hungry wolves. Hogan grabs the microphone "So as you know; last night, Bischoffo didn't even show up to No Surrender. He was down in Mexico hiding from immortal with his tail between his legs LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH HE IS BROTHER!!" Hogan points towards the entranceway "I bet he's too afraid to even show his face right now because he knows the beating he and his Hardy Boys are gonna get from us!" Bischoffo's music hits and he comes out at the top of the ramp, flanked by the Hardys. "Oh Hogan, you fool." Bischoffo chastises his former associate. "You thought I was running? I wasn't running. I had a mission! I was searching for something!" The camera zooms in on Bischoffo, his eyes wild with glee, his face contorting into a look of sick excitement. "And I completed my mission, I found what I was looking for. I found a vessel of violence to join me in cementing my rule over the impact zone, and I will unleash him....TONIGHT." Hogan steps back and looks quizzically at the other members of Immortal. "Oh yeah? You're going to show off your shiny new toy, brother? Well I am going to have Gunner here BREAK HIM IN HALF!" Gunner smiles and cracks his knuckles, pointing and yelling at Bischoffo. Bischoffo smiles "Perfect. It will be an amazing opportunity to raise the level of violence around here. I hope you're ready, Gunner." Bischoffo drops the microphone and heads backstage with the Hardys.


****************************


Eddie Edwards versus Mark Haskins. Edwards controls the match quickly with chops and suplexes. Haskins gets a narrow window of opportunity and tries to take Edwards' back for the sleeper but Edwards picks him up and hits the backpack stunner. Edwards then hits the Boston Knee Party and gets the pin for the win


****************************


Hernandez and Puma versus The Big Boy Michael Elgin and Eric Young. Elgin uses his power to quickly get control over Hernandez, surprising the big man with his freakish strength. Hernandez tags in Puma who uses his speed and agility to outmaneuver Elgin and gain the upper hand. Elgin tags in Young who takes down Puma but eventually winds up getting Gorilla Pressed by Hernandez into a Puma Driller by Puma. Puma hits young with a 630 Senton to get the pin


****************************


Cheerleader Melissa versus Io Shirai in a revenge match after Melissa cost Io the title at No Surrender. In a back and forth match Io eventually gains the upper hand and is about to hit a moonsault from the turnbuckle when Mickie James runs down and hits her with a flying Mick Kick from the apron! Io spills down into the ring, giving Melissa the opportunity to grab Io and hit her with the devastating Butterfly Kisses (Cop Killer). Melissa gets the pinfall for the victory


****************************


"We go to Enrico Bischoffo's office, the camera showing the back of someone sitting at his desk as he finishes giving instructions. ""Just focus on destroying him. We will make sure the rest of Immortal don't pull any of their usual poo poo."" He says with a grin. The figure nods and gets up, facing away as the camera pans towards Bischoffo. He starts writing something when Austin Aries bursts into his office, carrying an easel and document tubes. ""Are you planning on doing a portrait of me?"" Bischoffo asks jokingly. ""Make sure you get my good side"" he says, turning and making a serious face. Aries finishes setting up the easel and fumes at being insulted, his face turning a bright shade of crimson. ""Cut the poo poo, Bischoffo. I know what you were trying to do to me last night. I'm not an idiot."" Bischoffo settles back into his chair. ""Oh, this is going to be good."" he chuckles, steepling his fingers on his chest. ""And what do you think I was trying to do?""



Aries smiles, popping open a document tube and unrolling a poster sized piece of paper. ""You brought Eddie Edwards in here to get the title off of me! You sent your little attack dog to take me out and get the title off me and silence me! I know, what you're up to, I know your whole plan Bischoffo."" Bischoffo and the Hardys all let out a hearty laugh, even Mattanza. ""Oh.....oh....ok..."" He says, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. ""Please....please tell me what my plan is!"" Aries smiles, putting the paper on the easel. It contains an unintelligible diagram of names, connected by various lines with notes/rantings written in odd spaces all over. Some of the writings are visible ""STEINER = LIZARD MAN?"", ""AZTEC PYRAMIDS ON THE DOLLAR"", ""CHEMTRAILS MADE MATTANZA"". Aries continues pressing his point ""I've spend months making this diagram. I know that you never went to Mexico, Eddie Edwards was your secret weapon all along! You're trying to use him to get the title off me because you're afraid I'll go to Hogan with all the dirt I discovered!"" Bischoffo shakes his head ""Jesus man, you ever consider medication? I'm not after your X Division title. Eddie Edwards signed because he wanted a chance to make a name for himself. You called out everyone in the building to come after your title. It presented the perfect opportunity for him to prove he can cut it here in the Impact Zone. It doesn't a genius to figure that out. So it's you and Eddie Edwards at Bound For Glory for the X Division Championship!""

Aries shouts ""NO! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! YOU'RE TRYING TO TRICK ME! I KNOW STEINER DIED IN PUERTO RICO AND THIS ISN'T THE REAL BIG POPPA PUMP! I KNOW ALL YOUR SECRETS YOU SONOFABITCH!"" Enrico looks to the Hardys ""I'm through with this bullshit, get him out of here. And get wellness on the line, he's got to be on something."" The Hardys drag Aries out as he continues screaming ""WHERE'S DIXIE?! I KNOW YOU HAVE HER! WHERE ARE YOU KEEPING HER?!!"" The Hardys drag him and toss him out of the office, slamming the door in his face ""I want my diagrams back!"" He shouts as the closed door, then turns around to face...EDDIE EDWARDS! Eddie unleashes a brutal series of chops on Aries and he yelps in pain, slumping against the wall. ""I'm coming for that title, Aries. And I'm going to show you who the true Alpha is."" Eddie leaves Aries crumpled in a heap, clutching the X Division title."


****************************


Doug Williams comes down to the ring waving the Union Jack. Suddenly, "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" starts blaring throughout the Impact Zone. What the hell? Who is this walking out onto the ramp? IT'S SEX FERGUSON. SEX FERGUSON IS IN THE IMPACT ZONE! He points at Williams as he comes down the ramp, showing off his crocodile skin boots and blue tights. He hits the ring and we're underway! Sex avoids Williams signature suplexes and judo throws, hitting him with the choke bomb! Sex Ferguson pins Douglas Williams in his debut!


Doug Williams stays in the ring as Ferguson leaves, and Magnus and Desmond Wolfe come down to join him. Williams says goodbye to the Impact Zone and thanks the fans. They don't really care.

****************************

Ric Flair is in the ring for an interview with Big Poppa Pump. Steiner comes down to the ring with the BASH Trophy, having draped a chainmail hood over the top of it. Steiner poses and flexes for a bit before standing next to Flair. "Scott, you won the Best at Super Hossing Tournament (presented by Hoss' Loaded Burgers, they're loaded with goodness) with a close victory over Kevin Steen." Big Poppa Pump shakes his head "Close? You thought that was close? I put that fat bastard to sleep in front of his crying rear end little kid! I said I was gonna win the tournament, I said I was gonna beat that fatass, and I did! All you little pencil necked losers on the internet thought Big Poppa Pump was washed up, but you're wrong!" Ric starts getting hyped up "You're right, you were the long odds to win the tournament. What about now, what's going through your mind as you prepare for Sting at Bound For Glory?" Steiner smiles "I'm just lifting weights and eating steaks. Sting has no chance against me! I'm the genetic freak, I'm not normal! No man can defeat me!" Steiner grabs the trophy and heads to the back.

****************************

Beer Money versus the Briscoes in a battle of top contenders for the Tag titles! Both teams show off their fluid tag team moves and excellent partner chemistry, hitting a series of power moves, super kicks, and double team moves. The Briscoes are about to hit the Doomsday Device when Team 3D runs in and attacks everyone with chairs! The referee throws out the match as a no contest.

Enrico Bischoffo comes out, visibly pissed off. "Team 3D, while I appreciate your show of violence I HATE NO CONTESTS. So, you will face both Beer Money and the Briscoes at Bound For Glory in a TRIPLE THREAT TAG TEAM MATCH FOR THE TITLES!" Bully Ray and Bully Devon about poo poo themselves.

****************************

"Kevin Steen comes out, looking quite morose after his defeat at the hands of Big Poppa Pump at No Surrender. Meanwhile, AJ Styles seems to be on Cloud Nine after his win over Kaz and Daniels. AJ and Steen get into it quickly as the bell rings. Steen comes charging out of his corner like a man possessed only to get the bullfighter treatment from AJ and hitting the turnbuckles. AJ hits a quick enziguri on the back of Steen's head then an inverted DDT. Styles goes for the quick pin: 1...2...Kick out! Steen gets up and catches AJ with a quick powerslam, then a big boy senton! He sends AJ into the corner and follows up with a bull rush, knocking AJ down to the bottom turnbuckle setting him up in perfect position for a cannonball senton!

Steen rips AJ out of the corner and hits an exploder into the turnbuckles, then picks him up and hits a Steenalyzer into the turnbuckles! Steen is brutalizing the Tango Turkey! He looks like a man possessed as he takes out his frustration and rage. Steen sends Styles into the ropes in preparation for the Papa Powerbomb, but Styles is stopped as he gets hit with a baseball bat from behind! He falls forward, screaming in pain revealing Christopher Daniels behind him, holding a bat! Steen starts shouting at him as Kazarian appears and begins beating on the Boys! Steen is pissed that his beatdown on Styles was interrupted! He gets in Daniels' face shouting at him, his face contorting into a look of rage. Daniels begins to turn around then whips back and cracks Steen in the face with the end of the bat! He starts walloping Steen from the apron, hopping down once he's satisfied. He and Kazarian drag the Boys off with the bats across their throats, shouting insults at AJ. AJ slowly comes to only to see his Boys disappear behind the curtain being dragged off by his former Fortune brethren! Styles makes chase and Steen gets up, scowling at the entire scene."

****************************

Hogan comes down to the ring with Gunner, then Enrico Bischoffo comes down to the ring with his new warrior covered in a full length robe his face concealed. Bischoffo gets in the ring with his new weapon of violence, who pulls back the hood to reveal his identity.....IT'S BOBBY LASHLEY! He immediately sprints over and hits a superman punch on Gunner! The bell rings and we are underway! Lashley maintains control of the match using strikes and suplexes then hits a spear on Gunner! Lashey gets the pin over Gunner

The Hardys sprint down, followed by Abyss and Jarrett. We get a stare off. Bischoffo grabs the mic and proposes a match, the Hardys and Lashley vs. Abyss Jarrett and gunner at BFG for control of TNA!! Hogan agrees!


****************************

Steiner and Sting come down for their contract signing. Both men put pen to paper and immediately start brawling! Bischoffo cackles with glee at the violent spectacle. That's it for Impact, folks!

Impact was a B- show



quote:

Mauro on Play by Play, Desmond Wolfe on Color, Excalibur as the third man

Sara Del Rey defeats Brooke

Briscoes defeat the Boys

Desmond Wolfe Interviews Future Shock

Generico defeats Crimson to defend the TV title

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

You don't know who the gently caress Sex Ferguson is?! Sex Ferguson has worked on every loving continent there is!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4PZ8Vy4tGs

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Ryan finishes watching "Scott Steiner versus the English Language", chuckling softly to himself. "Up Next: STEINERIZER!" Flashes across the screen. He goes for the pause button but the video starts just before he can click. "poo poo." he mutters.

quote:





"What? It's on?" poo poo!" Steiner stands up and points at the camera "Are you wondering why you feel so tired all the time? Why you can't get it up anymore? Why you look like this?"





"I got some news for you, YOU'RE A FAT PIECE OF TRASH! But there's hope, even for the worst of you fat slobs...well maybe not the worst of you like that sack of poo poo I just beat: Kevin Steen! You just need to get some of my STEINERIZER! It's got a blend of 37 pro...propapatary ingredients! Just two scoops of Steinerizer with water and you're ready to get some massive peaks and stay up all night with the freaks!"


"What the gently caress?" Ryan mutters, clicking the mouse. "Why isn't it closing?"

quote:

"You don't want to live your life as a miserable piece of poo poo, do you? Get my Steinerizer with its 52 ingredients and you can be like the Big Bad Booty Daddy!"

Steiner flexes and some women come over and surround Big Poppa Pump. "Well, not even Steinerizer with its blend of 89 ingredients make up for not having the chromosomes of the Genetic Freak but it can come close."

Ryan is furiously clicking all over the screen. He tries pressing the power button on his laptop but it doesn't seem to work....

quote:

Steiner points at the screen "So get some you fat piece of trash, Ryan! Yeah, Ryan Trebleman at 845 Poppyflower Way, Stockton, California. I know where you live, bitch!"

Ryan starts breathing heavily....his eyes wide with fear...."What....what do you want with me?"

quote:

Steiner smiles wrapping his arms around two ladies "I want you to order some! Call 1-877-Steiner and if you do it in the next five minutes you'll get a free chainmail hood! Yeah, that's it you little bitch call! Yeah order a case! No.....three cases! Yeah yeah order it...yeah hurry it the gently caress up! WHAT THE HELL HOW CAN IT TAKE YOU THIS LONG! Ok, good it's done!"

Steiner smiles and picks up massive containers of Steinerizer "Get Steinerizer, for when you want to live life like a freakzilla!"

These statements have not been proven and this supplement is not approved by the Food and Drug Administration.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005


quote:

Impact starts off with a match! We've got Cheerleader Melissa with Sara Del Rey ringside going up against Tara with Brooke. Mickie James on commentary analyzing the match and bragging about how she's going to ruin Melissa's title tryout and cut her rear end from the cheerleading squad. Melissa keeps the upper hand against Tara, wearing her down with brutal shots and an inverted cloverleaf. Brooke tries to start poo poo with Del Rey but gets blasted with an elbow. Melissa shoots a thumbs up to Del Rey and destroys Tara with Butterfly Kisses (Cop Killer). Mickie snarls and stares daggers at Melissa.

******************************

Alex Shelley makes a jobber tap out with the Border City Stretch.

******************************

El Generico versus Hernandez for the TV Title. Generico faces off against the big man and gets tossed around the ring a bit but manages to change his strategy and uses a series of lucha arm drags and a springboard corkscrew DDT to gain the upper hand. The Ref gets knocked down by one of Generico's legs on the DDT and Sex Ferguson slips down through the crowd to ringside. Sex gets up on the apron and distracts Generico while Hernandez recovers and clubs him over the back of the head! Sex puts his size 16 boot on the top turnbuckle and motions for Hernandez to send the TV Champion into his waiting foot. Hernandez tries to whip Generico into the turnbuckle but Generico reverses it and sends Hernandez face first into Sex's boot! The Big man's unexpected momentum sends Sex tripping backwards off the apron. Hernandez staggers back dazed from the blow right into the waiting arms of Generico! Generico hits a half and half suplex on the big man as the ref makes his way to his feet. Generico quickly slides over and pins Hernandez! 1...2....3... Generico retains! Hernandez glares at Sex from the canvas, rage in his eyes.

******************************

"We cut to AJ and Sting searching backstage. AJ is frantic, screaming and tearing things apart as he looks for his beloved boys. ""KAZARIAN!?!?! DANIELS?!!?! YOU SONS OF BITCHES WHERE ARE YOU?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BOYS?!!"" Kazarian appears from a darkened side hallway, smiling. ""I'm right here, AJ."" AJ pounces on Kazarian and shoves him against the wall, pressing an elbow to his throat. ""WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THEM?!!?! WHERE ARE MY BOYS?!"" Sting steps up behind AJ and puts a hand on his shoulder. ""AJ, think this through man don't do anything that will get your boys hurt."" AJ doesn't even turn to face Sting, his eyes locked in a stare with Kaz. ""I'm going to break every damned bone in his body until he leads me to them."" Frankie smiles, shifting a bit to ease the pressure on his throat so he can speak ""There's no need for violence AJ. I'll take you to them. Right now, in fact."" He says with a smile. AJ pulls his elbow back but quickly puts Kaz in a hammerlock. ""Lead us to them, now. And if you try any bullshit I'll break your arm!"" He nods to Sting ""Keep an eye out for that piece of poo poo Daniels."" Sting nods, pulling a baseball bat out of his trench coat. ""I've got your back AJ."" Kazarian tilts his head ""Shall we?""

The camera follows them as they twist and turn through a few hallways then come to a dressing room with the door slightly ajar. ""Your boys are just in here, AJ."" Sting steps in between them and the door. ""I'll go in first in case Daniels is waiting. Keep your eyes peeled."" AJ nods and Sting pushes the door open slowly with his bat, then with a flick of his wrist flips it all the way, slamming it against the wall. He steps in, holding the bat at the ready. He quickly pokes his head around. ""It's clear....they aren't in here."" AJ torques on Frankie's arm. ""What kinda sick joke is this?! Where are they?!!"" Frankie calmly nods towards a back corner. ""Tell your man to go look closer."" Sting scowls at Frankie and takes a few steps towards the corner ""There's something in there..it's a cardboard box...."" Sting goes closer and AJ shoves Frankie in through the door, trying to peer around him to get a better look. ""What the hell is this poo poo?!!"" Sting turns and holds a hand up to AJ. ""Don't come any closer, it might be a trap. I'll check it out."" He flips the bat around to use the bottom of it to gently move one of the flaps aside, keeping a step back. When nothing happens he slowly leans over and peers inside. Sting's face contorts into a look of horror as he stumbles backwards, falling back against the wall. ""Oh....oh god..""

AJ shoves Frankie to his knees, checking back over his shoulder at the open doorway then back to Sting. ""What the hell Sting? What's in there?!"" Frankie smiles ""You see AJ, I envy you, it's my sin. I envy the love you shared with your boys."" AJ kicks Frankie in the back ""SHUT UP!"" He shouts. ""Sting...Sting talk to me brother what's in there."" Sting tries to scramble to his feet, falling back down. ""AJ....AJ stay back man."" Frankie continues ""I envy you because I will never feel that love again. After you abandoned Fortune, after you turned your back on us it left a hole in my heart. I can no longer feel love AJ, all I feel is a bottomless pit of darkness where that love once was. It's so cold....so bleak...staring into that abyss."" AJ kicks him again. ""SHUT THE HELL UP!"" He looks back at Sting and the box. ""GOD DAMMIT STING TELL ME! WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!?! WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!!!!??!"" Sting backs away from the box, finally recovered from the shock. His face is aghast as he turns to AJ. ""AJ...AJ....just take a step back man don't do anything crazy?"" AJ tilts his head to the side, looking quizzically at Sting ""Crazy? What the hell are you talking about? WHAT'S IN THE loving BOX?!?!!?"" He shouts. Frankie looks over to Sting, then to AJ. ""I didn't tell the whole truth AJ, it was just a couple pieces of your boys in there. They're still alive. I don't have a problem with them, they're not the ones who hurt me. They're not the ones who abandoned me. I want to hurt you AJ, I want you to feel the blackness that I feel inside. It's the only thing that takes my mind off this unbearable pain and loss I have to live with.""

AJ looks at Frankie in horror as the full realization of the situation starts to hit him. ""DID YOU HURT THEM?!! DID YOU HURT MY BOYS?!"" Frankie shrugs ""I hurt them a little bit, but like I said they're still alive. If you ever want to see them again, you'll face me in a match at Bound for Glory. If you beat me, you can have your boys back. If I beat you....well I'm going to keep your boys AJ. I'm going to make you feel the loss and emptiness I feel. I'm going to watch you fill up with the blackness, and I'm going to enjoy every second of it..."" A sick, twisted smile crosses his face ""What do you say AJ? Do you truly care about your Boys, or will you discard them like you did Fortune?"" AJ howls in rage and Sting grabs him, trying to restrain AJ as he flails at Kazarian in rage. ""I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU HURT MY BOYS FRANKIE! I'LL DESTROY YOU! YOU WANT A FIGHT AT BOUND FOR GLORY?! YOU'VE GOT IT!!"" Frankie grins, raising his hands palms up ""See AJ, that wasn't so hard was it?"" A laugh comes from the doorway ""It was easy as pie!"" It's the Fallen Angel, Christopher Daniels!"" Sting lets go of AJ and both men look up at Daniels, momentarily taking their eyes off Kaz. He quickly slips a stun gun out of his pants and zaps AJ in the leg! AJ crumples into a heap as Sting looks down in shock, just in time for Daniels to sprint across the room and hit him with a Singapore Cane! Frankie hits AJ with the stun gun again, this time right at the base of his neck, causing the Tango Turkey to cry out in agony! He follows up his stun gun zap with a series of stomps. Daniels continues to hit Sting with the Singapore Cane, the sound of the bamboo on flesh resonating off the concrete walls. Suddenly a loud yell cuts through the noise, it's Kevin Steen!

Steen unloads on Daniels with right hands, causing him to drop the Cane and sending him to the floor. Sting grabs his bat and cracks it across Frankie's back! Frankie drops to his knees and goes for the stun gun but Sting hits his arm before he can grab it! The tables have turned and Kaz and Daniels face the wrath of Sting and Steen while AJ tries to get to his feet. Frankie and the Fallen Angel manage to scramble away, leaving Sting to check on AJ and Steen to taunt Daniels with his Singapore Cane as he slinks away. ""Leaving so soon? I was just getting started! Get your bald rear end back here you son of a bitch!""

******************************

Eddie Edwards defeats Magnus with a Boston Knee Party

******************************

"Austin Aries is backstage in street clothes, wallking down the hallway with a frustrated look on his face. He adjusts his jacket and wipes his hands through his hair, then walks up to a door marked with a nameplate: ""Chief Wellness Officer"". Aries slowly opens the door and steps inside. It's a small side office filled with various boxes stacked high along the walls, and a single piece of furniture. Two chairs on either side of a small folding table behind which sits the TNA Chief Wellness Officer Scott Steiner. Steiner leans back in his chair, looking at a handful of papers. He's wearing his normal ring gear, except for his lab coat with the sleeves cut off with his name and title embroidered on the left breast. Steiner shuffles the papers and puts them on the desk then points to the chair. ""Sit down, Aries"" he orders. Aries begrudginly takes a seat and glares across the table at Big Poppa Pump. A few awkward seconds of silence pass, then Aries jumps up.

""What the hell am I doing here? This is total bullshit, I don't do any drugs!"" Steiner stands up and points at Aries ""Shut the hell up and sit your rear end down! I'm the Chief Wellness Officer and you will show me some respect!"" Steiner shouts. Aries sits and shifts in his seat, visibly angry at being ordered around, holding his tongue for the moment. ""Nowm"" Steiner sits back down and picks up the papers. ""I brought you in here because your tests came back, and you don't have anything in your system!"" Aries laughs ""Then why the hell bring me in here? I haven't done anything wrong!"" Steiner shakes his head ""It's because you need more supplements! You've got a lovely physique! You think you can hold onto the X Division title with those puny arms? HELL NO! You need some Steinerizer!""

Steiner pulls out a tub of Steinerizer and puts it on the table. Aries recoils in horror ""What the hell? I'm not taking your chemical bullshit! Who knows what you put in there? Probably something to slow me down or worse! You want to drug me up and control me, don't you?!?! BISCHOFFO MADE YOU DO THIS, DIDN'T HE?!"" Steiner goes to grab Aries but he ducks out of the way. ""I know the truth! I know it all, Steiner! The real Steiner died in Puerto Rico from that throat injury. You're a fraud! You're a fake!"" Steiner flips the table over and goes after Aries, getting in the face of the smaller man. ""You think you know what happened in Puerto Rico? How about this, I'll tell you but you have to take a tub of Steinerizer!"" Aries strokes his goatee, eying Steiner then countering. ""I'll take it for a week."" Steiner adjusts his sunglasses. ""Deal."" Steiner and Aries both sit down, leaving the table flipped over. Steiner lets out a chuckle ""Well you were half right about Puerto Rico. I did die down there."" Aries' eyes go wide. ""I knew it.."" he gasped. ""One of my theories is finally proven right!"" Steiner shakes his head ""Half right, numbnuts. My heart stopped for just over three minutes on the operating table. I was legally dead, and I had one of those...experiences. I went into the place you go after you die"

Aries pulls back in confusion ""Underworld?"" He asks. ""Yeah. Hell, the Afterlife, whatever you call it. I went down there and came face to face with the man himself: The Grim Reaper, Death. He goes by many names but there he was right in front of me. He said I had the largest arms he'd ever seen, that my peaks were stronger than any mountain. He asked me to join him as his right hand man!"" Aries is enthralled at the story, leaning over the edge of his chair. ""Wh....what did you say?"" Steiner leans back in his chair. ""I told him Big Poppa Pump answers to no one, man or god. I challenged him to a match! Me versus him, right there. If I won, I'd get to come to life. If he won, I'd join him as his enforcer!"" Aries looks Steiner up and down now unsure if he is seeing a man of flesh or a man of...something else. ""Don't look at me like that you weirdo! I beat his rear end! I dropped Death on his head with a Steiner Screwdriver and put him in the Steiner recliner. I held him for what seemed like eons until his bitch rear end tapped out! Then next thing I know I woke up in a Puerto Rican hospital room. They said I had no chance, they said I would never survive but I did. And now I'm stronger than ever! My peaks have never been bigger. My freaks have never been more satisfied!""

Aries is taken agahst at the story. ""Please....let me....let me join you!"" Steiner's face turns to a look of disgust. ""Join me? Hell no! You're a creep! I don't want you hanging around me scaring off all the freaks. Now take your Steinerizer and get the hell out of here."" Steiner stands up and points in Aries' face ""And if you tell anyone about what I told you, I'll find you and make you regret it!"" Aries nods and grabs the container of Steinerizer off the ground, fumbling with the lid a bit as he steps out of the office only to face Eddie Edwards! Eddie goes to unleash a chop at Aries but he only succeeds at knocking the lid off the can of Steinerizer, sending a neon green powder all over Aries chest and face. Aries tries to blink the Steinerizer out of his eyes as Edwards goes to chop him again, this time connecting square on to Aries' chest! But the blow only makes a dull *THUD* sound, and Edwards immediately pulls his hand back in excruciating agony. Aries coughs a few times then smiles, opening his jacket to reveal a metal vest. ""I figured out how to keep you from sneaking up and chopping me again! I'm too smart for you, Edwards. Give it up!"" Edwards grimaces ""I'm not going to give up, I'll figure out another way to beat your rear end!"" Aries cocks his fist and licks his lips in anticipation then recoils in shock ""Ugh, what the hell is in this poo poo? It tastes like the floor of a chemistry lab!"" Edwards uses the momentary distraction to get away while Aries tries to clean the supplement off ""Oh god it's burning my skin! What the hell?"" He shouts."

******************************

Up next is Abyss versus Eric Young. Hogan comes down Abyss and sits down on commentary, trashing Bischoffo and making fun of Young. Abyss makes quick work of the fire headed Canadian and ends it with a black hole slam.

******************************

AJ Styles comes down, very angry and taped up from his beat down at the hands of Kazarian. His injuries give Gunner enough of an opportunity to keep things close. Gunner gets Styles up in the backbreaker rack, and Styles nearly taps but manages to slip out. Gunner goes for a lariat but AJ hits a phenomenal combo and lays him out, then hits the Spiral Flap for the pin!

******************************

Bischoffo comes out with a microphone, looking absolutely pissed. He takes a moment to collect himself then shouts "ANDERSON GET YOUR rear end OUT HERE!!" Anderson comes out, smirking at Bischoffo. Bischoffo shakes his head in disgust. "Wipe that smile off your face you idiot! How dare you make a fool of me! How dare you walk out on a match like that! You know what I want, you know what the fans want! THAT'S VIOLENCE! And you dared to deprive us of it by running away like a coward." Anderson shakes his head and holds up a hand "Woah woah woah there Enrico! I was just doing the smart thing and getting out of there to catch my breath. I just happened to accidentally get counted out. Mistakes happen, no one's perfect!" Bischoffo's scowl turns to a smile. "Oh, a mistake? You just happened to run 3/4 of the way up the ramp and forgot to come back in to break the count? I think the mistake was made by me, giving you the opportunity to turn tail and run like a coward." Anderson smiles and shrugs "Like I said, no one's perfect." Bischoffo takes a deep breath, his face turning a shade of crimson at the sarcasm being thrown his way. "Well, I won't make the same mistake twice! There will be no escape for you at Bound For Glory. You're going to face Samoa Joe, and there will be no way for you to run away!" Anderson chuckles, shaking his head "A steel cage, Enrico? I can climb out the top! It's easy to escape! Come on, I expected better than that from you." Bischoffo chuckles then glances back at Anderson, his eyes filled with a look of giddiness. "Oh, you don't get it do you? You'll see at Bound for Glory. But first, you need to get a little taste of comeuppance tonight. It's you versus The Hardys and my new warrior Bobby Lashley. Oh yes, and it's RIGHT loving NOW!"

The Hardys and Bobby Lashley versus Mr. Anderson in a 3 on 1 match. Bischoffo's Boys proceed to beat the everliving poo poo out of Anderson, giving him no quarter as they take turns pounding him. Lashley hits a spear, Matt hits a Twist of Fate, and Jeff seals the deal with a swanton bomb and all three stand and pose on Anderson's prone body for the pin.

******************************

Sting interview with Ric Flair. Sting talks about how Steiner has fought and clawed his way to earn a title shot, but he got lucky in the tournament. His luck is going to run out at Bound for Glory. Sting has seen all the film on Big Poppa Pump, he's going to be ready to defend his title no matter what!

******************************

Scott Steiner comes out to face Crimson. Crimson comes in with a flurry of shots on Steiner, trying to swarm him with his speed and length advantage. Unfortunately, Crimson moves in a bit too close and ends up eating a variety of suplexes from Steiner. Steiner hits a belly to belly sending Crimson into the turnbuckles, then hits a butterfly float over suplex to the center of the ring and slaps on the Steiner Recliner. Crimson quickly taps as Steiner cranks on his neck and spine.

******************************

Samoa Joe with Okato versus Jeff Jarrett. Joe and Jarrett go back and forth initially but Joe wears down Jarrett with a series of strikes and power moves. Jarrett grabs his guitar as the ref's back is turned and Okato hops on the apron to try and get the ref's attention. Unfortunately his English is just not good enough to convey his message and the ref ends up arguing with him. Jarrett whiffs on the kabong attempt, Joe ducking underneath and taking Jarrett's back with the Coquina Clutch. Jarrett fights but Joe manages to get the body scissors and Double J has no choice but to tap. We're out of time folks, see you on Xplosion!

Impact was a B show


quote:

Mauro on PBP, Desmond on Color, Excalibur as Third Man

Eric Young cuts a promo and basically calls Crimson and Magnus losers and says Generico doesn't deserve the TV title

Elgin and Cobb vs Future Shock (Bay bay). Evans and Puma come down and interfere devolving into a brawl

Io Shirai defeats Angelina Love

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

I like Mark Henry winning clean. I don't like that he doesn't have the sexual chocolate gimmick

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Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005


quote:

Impact opens with the Premier Athlete Tony Nese standing in the ring. Suddenly, unfamiliar music blasts through the Impact Zone! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO3jBivegxw Who the hell is this? We're getting a new debut in the Impact Zone? IT'S KENNY OMEGA! What's he doing here in the Impact Zone?!?!! Omega is wearing black trunks with Japanese writing on the back, with black boots and kickpads. He makes his way to the ring and stares down Nese, pointing at him and yelling something the microphones can't pick up. The bell rings and Kenny quickly sprints across the ring, hitting Nese with a dropkick, maintaining the upper hand throughout the match. Nese finally gets some breathing room and charges but Kenny holds his hand up and shouts out "STOP!!" freezing Nese in his tracks. The momentary distraction as all Omega needs to hit an Enziguri! Nese falls to his knees as Kenny charges up his power meter, then hits the Premiere Athlete with a Gohadoken, sending him tumbling back. Nese tries to use the ropes to get to his feet but Kenny gives him no quarter, sprinting across the ring and connecting with a Tiger Knee! Nese crumples into a heap and Omega stands over him, an ecstatic grin across his face as his eyes are filled with sick delight. Omega points to the corner and slashes his thumb across Nese's throat. Omega drags the Premiere Athlete's barely conscious body and places him on the top rope. Omega gets onto the second rope and picks up Nese in the Electric Chair position, then tosses him up in the air and catches him in a rear waistlock, then german suplexes him off the ropes! AVALANCHE CROYT'S WRATH!! Nese bounces off the canvas and lays limp as Kenny pins him: 1....2....3! Kenny is your winner! Paramedics rush into the ring and take Nese away on a stretcher as Omega celebrates! Kenny Omega has made his presence know by destroying Tony Nese! He seems to revel in the damage inflicted upon his unprepared opponent. Surely Enrico Bischoffo will take notice of Kenny's newfound penchant for violence

******************************

"Prince Puma, Haskins, and Jeff Cobb are in the ring to face Michael Elgin, Okato (With Samoa Joe), and Kyle O'Reilly. Puma starts out against Elgin, who manages to use his size and strength to smother Puma, sending him flying across the ring with throws and suplexes. Puma manages to scramble away just long enough to tag in Mr. Olympic Jeff Cobb, who grins ear to ear at Elgin. The two hosses square off in the middle of the ring and immediately start blasting each other with forearms! Two of the strongest men in all of professional wrestling are going toe to toe in a test of fighting spirit! Elgin seems to finally stagger Cobb with a particularly loud shot and goes to follow up with a discus lariat but Cobb ducks just in time to avoid getting decapitated! He grabs Elgin in a rear waistlock and picks him up, then dangles him in a deadlift position. Elgin flails helplessly as Cobb gutwrench suplexes the Big Boy, then rolls over and deadlifts him up for another....and another! The other 4 participants watch dumbstruck as Mr. Olympic shows off the strength that got him to the 2004 Athens Olympics! Cobb goes for the pin: 1...2... Elgin kicks out! Cobb argues with the referee while Elgin scrambles to his corner and tags in Kyle O'Reilly! O'Reilly hops in and fakes Cobb out with an open palm job, causing him to cover up as O'Reilly unleashes a kick to the chest! The sound of kickpads on flesh echoes through the Impact Zone as Kyle unloads with series of kicks and takes the Mr. Olympic down with a sweep! Kyle goes for the pin: 1......Cobb kicks out! Kyle quickly pivots and takes Cobb's outstretched arm and goes for the cross armbreaker!

Cobb's ground skills kick in and he locks his hands, trying to keep O'Reilly from straightening his arm out. He goes to deadlift Kyle but as O'Reilly's shoulders come off the mat he slides his foot over and starts kicking Cobb in the face with the heel of his boot! Cobb's grip weakens and he falls forward right into Kyle's guard! Kyle wraps his legs around the back of Cobb's head and traps the arm for a combo triangle/arm bar! Haskins and Puma realize Cobb is in deep water and start shouting at him to get him to roll to the ropes! Cobb howls in agony and manages to start scooting towards the ropes, getting a toe on them just in time to break the hold! Cobb manages to tag in Haskins who catches O'Reilly with a shotgun dropkick, sending the mixed martial artist sprawling back into his own corner. Okato tags Kyle on the shoulder and comes in to hit a picture perfect dropkick of his own! Okato follows up with an elbow drop and goes for the pin: 1...2.....No Haskins kicks out! Okato works him over with a few strikes and goes to lock in Red Ink. Puma quickly springboards in to break up the hold and all of the participants storm the ring and we have a brawl! The referee manages to gain control and after some tags Cobb and Elgin are back in. Cobb sends Elgin into the ropes and hits a Wrath of the Cobb! He goes for the pin on the Big Boy: 1....2...3! Cobb, Haskins, and Puma win!"

******************************

We return from commercial to find Kenny kneeling in a darkened room backstage, the only light coming from a multitude of flickering candles placed around the floor. Kenny is still breathing hard from his match, his face contorted into a gleeful grin. "Master....I have done what you asked. I showed them what I am capable of. I made my first sacrifice to you in the Impact Zone, in front of the world!" The camera moves to a shadowy corner of the room, interrupted by a flicker of movement and a dry, raspy chuckle. "Yes, you have. I am pleased." A figure emerges into the dim light, its face concealed by a hooded robe. "They are all on notice that we have arrived, that we will bring a new level of violence and destruction to TNA. We have a long road ahead of us, and we will face many challenges and enemies who will try to stop us. But with my guidance, you can one day be champion and together we will rule the Impact Zone." Kenny's eyes light up at the mention of the TNA World Title. "Yes Master, I am eager to learn from your wisdom and experience. I am ready to begin the journey and one day hold that Aztec gold high above my head and declare victory in your name...."
Eric Young and Crimson come down to face a couple of jobbers. They destroy them, and get into a shoving match over who gets to pin the poor destroyed jobber. Crimson clocks Young and gets the pin!

******************************

Austin Aries comes out for an interview with Ric Flair. Ric welcomes the X Division Champion to the ring and asks about his plan to defeat Eddie Edwards at Bound For Glory. Aries explains he has a new nutrition and supplement plan and feels amazing. In fact, he looks noticeably more ripped and aggressive. He feels so good, he issues an Open Challenge to anyone who wants to come down and face him for the title right now!

Adam Cole (BAYBAY) answers the call! Cole comes down the ring and Aries doesn't even wait for the bell, he starts furiously pounding on Cole! He goes for the discus elbow but Cole ducks and hits Aries with a superkick! Cole hits a snap suplex then goes for a quick pin! 1...2... no Aries kicks out! Aries is pissed! He answers with an STO and tries to lock in the False Flag but Cole gets to the ropes! Cole gets up and eats a Japanese arm drag and Aries unleashes a series of stomps on the prone Cole! Cole manages to pick Aries leg and locks in a figure four! Aries screams in pain, then turns the figure four over to reverse it on Cole! The action goes back and forth fot a bit longer then Aries reaches his boiling point and shoves Cole into the referee, knocking him to the canvas. He then goes for the Eye Opener, gouging the poo poo out of Cole's eyes repeatedly! Cole is blind and staggers into a dicsus elbow, then gets locked into the False Flag. He has no choice but to tap!

******************************

Bobby Lashley versus El Generico for the TV title. Bischoffo's Bloodborne warrior quickly overpowers the wily Luchador and tosses him around like a ragdoll. Lashley goes to gorilla press Generico but he reverses it into a DDT! Gunner sneaks down to ringside and hops on the apron, distracting Lashley while Generico hits a half and half suplex. Lashley is dazed! Generico hits a Helluva kick sending Lashley into the corner. He smacks the turnbuckle, pumping the crowd up! Generico picks Lashley up and hits the BRAINBUSTAHHHHHHHHH!! Generico goes for the pin: 1....2....3! Generico retains!

******************************

Beer Money come down to face Hernandez and Jack Evans with Team 3D and Briscoes on Commentary. Beer Money dominate the match, ragdolling Evans all over the place and keeping Hernandez down. They end up hitting the big man with Drinking While Investing! Roode goes for the pin: 1....2...3. Beer money are your winners!

The Briscoes lunge across the table at Team 3D and start brawling! Beer Money come down from the ring and join in the fray, it's absolute mayhem as Mauro, Tenay, and Taz are forced to flee the table to avoid getting injured!

******************************

We cut to Enrico Bischoffo sitting in his office with Kazarian and Daniels. All three men are drinking tequila and laughing. "So....so you cut off their ears and taunted Styles with them?" Bischoffo says through choking laughs. Tears start forming at the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard. Kazarian chuckles "Yup, did you see him blubbering like a baby? I'm pretty sure he pissed himself when I hit him with the stun gun!" They all break out in another round of laughter. Daniels points to Bischoffo "We would have beaten the living poo poo out of him too if that fat rear end Steen didn't come in and sneak attack me!" Bischoffo laughs. "Ok...ok....here's the deal. If he wants the Boys back so badly, he can face Frankie in a boys in a shark cage match! We'll suspend them above the ring and the first one to lower them down with a crank gets to keep them!" Frankie grins "That's brilliant, I'm going to annihilate him while those stupid Boys are blubbering like a couble of babies above his head!" Enrico smiles and sips his tequila "Of course it's brilliant, I thought of it! Also Daniels, you will get a chance for revenge on Steen at Bound for Glory. In fact, since you've been such a big fan of Singapore Canes I'll make them legal! It's a Singapore Cane Match!" Daniels fist pumps in glee "Yes! Yes! I'll whack that bloated piece of garbage around like a pinata!" The three men clink glasses as the camera fades out.

******************************

Kevin Steen versus Brother Pope D'Angelo Dinero with Kazarian ringside on commentary. Steen taunts Daniels throughout the match as he dominates the newest member of Team 3D. Daniels asks Steen about his parenting blog having advice on dealing with your kid watch you get your rear end kicked by Scott Steiner. Steen hits Dinero with the Steenalyzer and a Papa Powerbomb for the win!
Samoa Joe versus Bully Ray. Ray tries to brawl with Joe but ends up eating a series of brutal strikes. The action goes back and forth for a bit till Joe hits Ray with a roundhouse kick, knocking him out. He goes to lock in the Coquina Clutch but it's clear Ray isn't even conscious! The ref stops the match, Joe is the winner!

******************************

Hogan gets on the mic and challenges Bischoffo to come down and have one of his minions fight Jarrett for the right to determine the stipulation at Bound for Glory. Bischoffo comes out with the Hardys and agrees. RING THE BELL

Matt Hardy with Jeff Hardy and Bischoffo at ringside versus Jeff Jarrett with Abyss and Hogan at Ringside. Hogan slips Jarrett a pair of brass knuckles which Jarrett uses to knock out Mattanza and get the win.

Hogan Abyss and Jarrett slink away to the top of the ramp. Hogan smiles "The match to determine control of TNA at BFG? IT'S GOING TO BE A MONSTER'S BALL MATCH BROTHER"

A B- show



Mauro on PBP, Desmond on Color, Excalibur as Third Man

quote:

Elgin defeats Jack Evans with a Big Boy bomb and suffers an injury that slows the match down

Alex Shelley defeats Sex Ferguson after Hernandez interferes

Kenny Omega defeats Mark Haskins

Post match interview, Taz interviewing Kenny. Kenny hints that he is working for a higher power.

El Generico vs Crimson vs Magnus vs Hernandez for the TV title. Match ends in a count out as the four men brawl into the crowd

Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Jul 10, 2017

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