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 2016 is finally dead, but not before killing every celebrity that ever existed and ushering in the End Times. But movies are still being made, so we got that going for us! In 2016, Disney became an unstoppable juggernaut of making money (even more than usual!), while most of the rest of the franchise world collapsed under the weight of unnecessary sequels and remakes and premakes and reimaginings and secret sequels and whatever the hell Collateral Beauty was! First the Hall of Shame!!! Unnecessary Sequels - Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - The biggest failure of the year despite making almost a billion dollars. Because it should have made double that! Not only did BvS cruise way below expectations, it put years of future films in jeopardy, caused emergency rewrites on films deep in production, and was criminally boring and nonsensical. I Am Legend was correct about this film. Production Budget: $250 million Box Office: $330 million (domestic); $873 million (worldwide total) Zoolander 2 - I loved the original and had no interest in seeing this very late sequel ever. Neither did anyone else, it seems. Production Budget: $50 million Box Office: $28 million (domestic); $56 million (worldwide total) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows - This film is incredibly fun and gave me everything I wanted from a Ninja Turtles movie, but the original was so bad no one bothered with this one. I'll keep it as a secret success for those of us in the know. Production Budget: $135 million Box Office: $82 million (domestic); $245 million (worldwide total) Blair Witch - A secret sequel that forgot to be good. Time to stand in the corner, Blair Witch! Production Budget: $5 million Box Office: $21 million (domestic); $45 million (worldwide total) Bad Santa 2 - Another film I enjoyed the original of but have changed enough that I'm not willing to go see it in the theaters, this is another sequel that was way to late and came out with little fanfare. Production Budget: $26 million Box Office: $17 million (domestic); N/A million (worldwide total) Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising - Another sequel that wasn't needed, Neighbors 2 turned out to be a surprisingly interesting film with lots of things to say about feminism. It largely said it to empty seats. Production Budget: $35 million Box Office: $55 million (domestic); $107 million (worldwide total) My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 - Despite being 20 years to late and actually making money, this is a colossal failure in the eyes of many because the wasted opportunities Nia Vardalos got from the last film didn't materialize with this one. Production Budget: $18 million Box Office: $59 million (domestic); $89 million (worldwide total) God's Not Dead 2 - God returned from the dead to be Not Dead again, and don't worry, he died again so he can be Not Dead for a whole trilogy! Production Budget: $5 million Box Office: $21 million (domestic); N/A million (worldwide total) The Huntsman: Winter's War - The Snow White-less prequel to an okay-ish LOTR ripoff that lost its star and director because they were caught having an affair, the prequel has a neat cast and decided to borrow heavily from Frozen, but the audiences were frozen in apathy Production Budget: $115 million Box Office: $48 million (domestic); $164 million (worldwide total) Alice Through the Looking Glass - The original made a billion dollars. The sequel.....did not! Next time wait to ride off the back of an Avatar film like the original! Production Budget: $170 million Box Office: $77 million (domestic); $299 million (worldwide total) Independence Day: Resurgence - A sequel way too late and missing the biggest star, but people go to see Brent Spiner on the big screen once again! Production Budget: $165 million Box Office: $103 million (domestic); $389 million (worldwide total) Bridget Jones's Baby - Is a British lady's baby adventures really far more exciting for foreign audiences than most of the other films on this list? Yes! Production Budget: $35 million Box Office: $24 million (domestic); $212 million (worldwide total) Ouija: Origin of Evil - Cheap horror for teens, yet it made 9 times back its budget, so Ouija 2 isn't a loser, it is a winner. Production Budget: $9 million Box Office: $35 million (domestic); $81 million (worldwide total) London Has Fallen - One of the dueling White House movies earned a sequel. Like "Olympus" was the code name for the White House, "London" is the code name for London. Production Budget: $60 million Box Office: $66 million (domestic); $205 million (worldwide total) Boring junk that deserved better - The BFG - Obviously Speilberg was just lowering his box office expectations so when Ready Player One tanks it won't look so bad. Production Budget: $140 million Box Office: $55 million (domestic); $178 million (worldwide total) Allied - Spy film that got more press from Pitt's divorce than anything about the actual film. Production Budget: $85 million Box Office: $39 million (domestic); $80 million (worldwide total) Deepwater Horizon - A cooler film would be about how BP PR managed to cover up a bunch of the oil spill's bad effects, but then there couldn't be cool explosions. Production Budget: $110 million Box Office: $61 million (domestic); $119 million (worldwide total) - currently still in theaters Assassin's Creed - One of those films that essays will be written about for decades about what went wrong. Production Budget: $125 million Box Office: $34 million (domestic); $48 million (worldwide total) - currently still in theaters Passengers - A strange rom-com with rapey vibes and third act problems that should have probably stayed on the black list. Or at least done the serial killer thing from the similar script someone else wrote! Production Budget: $110 million Box Office: $50 million (domestic); N/A million (worldwide total) - currently still in theaters Keeping Up with the Joneses - I had forgotten all about this one (again!) and will forget again (again!) as soon as I type the period at the end of this sentence. Production Budget: $40 million Box Office: $15 million (domestic); $29 million (worldwide total) The 5th Wave - Teens vs Aliens as the latest YA Dystopian franchise got dumped in January to a tepid box office. Production Budget: $38 million Box Office: $35 million (domestic); $110 million (worldwide total) Fifty Shades of Black - Eh, it still went in the black, so yay? Production Budget: $5 million Box Office: $12 million (domestic); $22 million (worldwide total) The Finest Hours - Captain Kirk 2.0 leads a thrilling Coast Guard rescue. Probably a great film to watch on TBS some lazy afternoon, but not to pay $15 at the theater for Production Budget: $80 million Box Office: $28 million (domestic); $52 million (worldwide total) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - This took forever to actually get made, years after the fad of public domain books with "humorous" mashups has thankfully left bookstores. maybe they should have delayed it longer. Like forever. Production Budget: $28 million Box Office: $11 million (domestic); $16 million (worldwide total) The Angry Birds Movie - These birds need anger management class! Production Budget: $73 million Box Office: $107 million (domestic); $350 million (worldwide total) Insane failures - Gods of Egypt - Nothing can explain this movie except it was a gift to weird movie lovers and people who enjoy studios losing money on weird stuff. Enjoy! Production Budget: $140 million Box Office: $31 million (domestic); $150 million (worldwide total) Ben-Hur - The Lord giveth with the Jesus movie, and the Lord taketh away with Ben-Hur losing all that sweet sweet cash. Obviously they should have prayed harder. Production Budget: $100 million Box Office: $26 million (domestic); $94 million (worldwide total) The Divergent Series: Allegiant - Wasn't sure which category to put this in, but a film that failed so bad they tried to make the sequel a made-for-tv movie seems more insane than unnecessary. Hopefully the final nail in the coffin of splitting up the final books of franchises, but we know it won't be. Production Budget: $110 million Box Office: $66 million (domestic); $179 million (worldwide total) Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk - Another cool TBS afternoon movie somehow so technologically advanced a lot of theaters couldn't even play it properly. Production Budget: $40 million Box Office: $1.7 million (domestic); $31 million (worldwide total) Ghostbusters - probably the movie from this list that will live the longest, but it cost waaaaaaaaaay to much, and that's not even counting the dumbest manbaby controversy of all time about the cast Production Budget: $144 million Box Office: $128 million (domestic); $229 million (worldwide total) Warcraft - This looked wierd despite having a cool director, but China loved it like crazy so it might still somehow get a sequel. Maybe. Probably not. Production Budget: $160 million Box Office: $47 million (domestic); $434 million (worldwide total) Collateral Beauty - a movie so weird even the spoilers were hard to believe, and it's currently making me mad there isn't a cheap theater anywhere nearby to see this before it hits video Production Budget: $36 million Box Office: $23 million (domestic); $43 million (worldwide total) The big lesson from the above films was that most of them cost to drat much! Will 2017 learn that valuble lesson? Probably not. Be on the lookout for: Jumanji - Not having any creatives attached finally managed to push this back to 2017, but it has The Rock, Jack Black, Kevin Hart, and Karen Gillan, so could be good? Underworld: Blood Wars - This got delayed and then released everywhere except the US, so that's a good sign. If you are a bug looking for a rotting corpse! xXx: The Return of Xander Cage - Maybe he should just stick to car movies. Rings - Delayed like crazy, this weird prequel is supposedly finally coming out, meanwhile Japan gets cooler-sounding Ring vs Grudge movies (that are secretly boring and bad!) Monster Trucks - I'm going to predict this movie will be what 20-teens get nostolgic for in 2030, but it will do awful at the box office. Fifty Shades Darker - Turns out you can force people to do what they were contractually obligated to do! Who knew? The Great Wall (US release) - China doesn't care about the Asian-American representation controversy, but most Chinese cinema recently is boring as crap and this doesn't sound like it broke that mold. Boss Baby - A baby yells like your jerk boss. $15 please! Ghost in the Shell - More Asian problems with none of the exploitative nudity. The Case for Christ - I'm confused, wasn't God dead? Now he's going on trial? Smurfs: The Lost Village - this looks actually not-terrible even though it is obvious the lost village is full of women Smurfs Untitled Blumhouse Horror Project II - I love that we live in a world where there are multiple untitled horror films already scheduled for release The Nut Job 2 - Thank goodness, I have so many fond Nut Job memories I can't wait to relive with this franchise... World War Z 2 - I don't think they've even given a straight answer on how this is going to work yet, but enjoy it when it comes out! Transformers: The Last Knight - This will be insane in either the best or worst way, and hopefully both at the same time! The Emoji Movie - A movie that people are already planning to review by just using the Poop Emoji. Blazing Samurai - "The story revolves around a scrappy young dog Hank (Michael Cera) who dreams of becoming a samurai and fights to save the town called "Kakamucho" from becoming a litter box of a nefarious feline warlord Ika Chu (Ricky Gervais) who unveils his grand plan to get rid of the inhabitants." Friday the 13th - Not sure if this will actually happen, but it's on the release list now so I can just copy/paste this each year until it finally comes out! A Bad Moms Christmas - The Bad Moms franchise has two entries in 2017 (including the ill-thought out Bad Dads) Justice League - I will enjoy watching the Frankenstein corpse of Justice League and trying to figure out which 15 movies and 48 executives were combined together to make this monster. Prior threads: 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008
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Jan 2, 2017 00:58
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I bet the movies will be bad this year
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Jan 2, 2017 00:59
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Don't talk bad about my girlfriend, movies!
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Jan 2, 2017 00:59
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I can't wait for more superhero movies! Please tell me they are making more of them this year!
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Jan 2, 2017 01:01
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There's a World War Z sequel coming out? And where's Wonder Woman on that list? Release date is June 2017.
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Jan 2, 2017 01:04
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iT'S us we're in a bad 80s movie post ironic cancer posting wont save us tropes wont save us get your dick sucked while the end explosion consumes your eyes
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Jan 2, 2017 01:09
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Young Freud posted:And where's Wonder Woman on that list? Release date is June 2017. We have hope. Foolish hope, but hope. And holy poo poo, Blazing Samurai sounds so bad. Also, you can put the new Kevin Sorbo 'Let there be Light' God movie up there. Seriously, what is with Kevin Sorbo playing straw-men atheists?
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Jan 2, 2017 01:20
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John Wick 2 coming for valentines day as well  :comissar:
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Jan 2, 2017 01:23
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Tars Tarkas posted:Blazing Samurai - "The story revolves around a scrappy young dog Hank (Michael Cera) who dreams of becoming a samurai and fights to save the town called "Kakamucho" from becoming a litter box of a nefarious feline warlord Ika Chu (Ricky Gervais) who unveils his grand plan to get rid of the inhabitants." Holy poo poo Why in the gently caress would this be a thing that someone even thought of? Why is Mel Brooks involved?
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Jan 2, 2017 01:45
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Hidden Figures, Lego Batman, and then my calendar is clear for the rest of 2017.
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Jan 2, 2017 01:45
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This is the first I've heard about a WWZ sequel. Didn't Disney write off like $80-100 mil on The BFG? I know it was one of the biggest flops this year because it had a decent marketing budget. Ben Hur and Gods of Egypt are insane failures and I don't understand why you would throw so much money at those projects.
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Jan 2, 2017 01:47
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Jonas Albrecht posted:Hidden Figures, Lego Batman, and then my calendar is clear for the rest of 2017. Hidden Figures, Lego Batman sounds like one of those "Hidden Dragon, Ninja Dragon" oddball matchs up from the early 2000s.
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Jan 2, 2017 01:48
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The worst think about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is it wastes a perfectly good cast for a real product of it.
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Jan 2, 2017 01:52
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My most anticipated films of 2017 are The Death of Stalin by Armando Iannucci (In the Loop), Under the Silver Lake a neo-noir by David Mitchell (not the comedian or the author but the guy who did It Follows), and Okja a kaiju film of some sort by Bong Joon-Ho (Memories of Murder, Snowpiercer, The Host) .
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Jan 2, 2017 01:56
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Heard people we're upset about the budget for Wonder Woman being lower than what Deadpool got. What's that about?
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Jan 2, 2017 01:57
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Well it certainly doesn't look it. Every photo shows a lot of production value.
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Jan 2, 2017 02:05
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MariusLecter posted:Heard people we're upset about the budget for Wonder Woman being lower than what Deadpool got. What's that about? That sounds like people just looking for something to get upset about. "A superhero movie starring a woman gets less money!  " ignores that they're from different studios, that films are budgeted individually, and that they have to decide on a budget based on expected performance. Could there be some Hollywood sexism mixed in? Sure, but Wonder Woman's $100 million budget is closer to what tentpoles should be budgeted with based on how things have been performing lately.greatn posted:Well it certainly doesn't look it. Every photo shows a lot of production value. The budget is not cheap. This isn't a $20 million film where they're scraping by. I just wish they'd spend a bit of it on giving her a new theme instead of that god awful one they used for her in Superman vs. Batman.
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Jan 2, 2017 02:06
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It was 100 million? I thought Deadpool was something paltry like $35 million.
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Jan 2, 2017 02:08
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Random Stranger posted:That sounds like people just looking for something to get upset about. "A superhero movie starring a woman gets less money! Oh gee, I wonder why they might be think that Wonder Woman is going to preform worse than BvS or Suicide Squad. They sure as hell aren't adjusting for BvS and SS's failure.
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Jan 2, 2017 02:09
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greatn posted:It was 100 million? I don't know if that's accurate. I did a quick google search for Wonder Woman's budget and that's what turned up, but the financials for the production won't really come out until next year, most likely. Improbable Lobster posted:Oh gee, I wonder why they might be think that Wonder Woman is going to preform worse than BvS or Suicide Squad. They sure as hell aren't adjusting for BvS and SS's failure. Honestly, if I was a studio trying to launch a superhero franchise that would face off against a juggernaut (not the Juggernaut), that's the budget I'd go for with the second tier films. In WB's case this would be anything other than Batman, Superman, and Justice League.
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Jan 2, 2017 02:14
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The one bad movie I'm sincerely looking forward in 2017 is Resident Evil 6 because they're enjoyable bad movies and it's also the end to that goofy loving series.
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Jan 2, 2017 02:17
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Random Stranger posted:I don't know if that's accurate. I did a quick google search for Wonder Woman's budget and that's what turned up, but the financials for the production won't really come out until next year, most likely. I don't actually disagree FWIW. I just think that Random Stranger posted:that they have to decide on a budget based on expected performance. is a factor that could very easily be influenced by hollywood sexism. Look at Star Wars TFA's overexposure of Kylo Ren and underexposure of Rey for example. Either way, studios are still spending way too much on movies and that trend doesn't look to be slowing down any time soon.
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Jan 2, 2017 02:19
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The budget sheets were already drawn and preproduction and I think a good deal of actual production was already underway by the time BvS came out so I don't think it affected WW much. There's no evidence of them making major changes to the project and if they did it would be in reshoots and the editing room.
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Jan 2, 2017 02:21
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OP does not contain new Alien movie or Blade Runner 2.. 1/10 would not reccomend
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Jan 2, 2017 02:40
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FreudianSlippers posted:My most anticipated films of 2017 are The Death of Stalin by Armando Iannucci (In the Loop), Under the Silver Lake a neo-noir by David Mitchell (not the comedian or the author but the guy who did It Follows), and Okja a kaiju film of some sort by Bong Joon-Ho (Memories of Murder, Snowpiercer, The Host) . I heard something about Okja, which is that Tilda Swinton plays twins in it, one of which is good, and the other is evil.
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Jan 2, 2017 03:28
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Improbable Lobster posted:Look at Star Wars TFA's overexposure of Kylo Ren and underexposure of Rey for example. Is that sexism, or is it just more promoting the Edgelord of the Sith because kewl dudes sell? I recall a lot of Darth Maul promotion, and he's way less prominent in his film than Kylo in his. I didn't really see the ad campaign for Force Awakens, so I can't really say how it played out, however. Is there an analysis somewhere about it?
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Jan 2, 2017 03:40
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Is that sexism, or is it just more promoting the Edgelord of the Sith because kewl dudes sell? I recall a lot of Darth Maul promotion, and he's way less prominent in his film than Kylo in his. It was more prominent with the toys but Kylo toys were significantly overproduced and sold worse than Rey/Finn/Poe while Rey, the only woman, was the best selling character even though her toys were significantly underproduced in comparison to the other characters.
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Jan 2, 2017 03:43
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Spatula City posted:I heard something about Okja, which is that Tilda Swinton plays twins in it, one of which is good, and the other is evil. It's a sequel to 'Hail Caesar!' ?
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Jan 2, 2017 03:47
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Alan Smithee posted:post ironic cancer posting wont save us 
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Jan 2, 2017 03:52
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Improbable Lobster posted:It was more prominent with the toys but Kylo toys were significantly overproduced and sold worse than Rey/Finn/Poe while Rey, the only woman, was the best selling character even though her toys were significantly underproduced in comparison to the other characters. Probably doesn't help that Kylo is a whiny little bitch who completely fails to be intimidating or edgy or compelling except in a "Jesus Christ THAT'S what the dark side has to work with these days?!" sense.
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Jan 2, 2017 04:04
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Hostile V posted:The one bad movie I'm sincerely looking forward in 2017 is Resident Evil 6 because they're enjoyable bad movies and it's also the end to that goofy loving series. Weren't the fourth and fifth ones also "I swear this is the last one" situations? Don't believe his lies. Improbable Lobster posted:It was more prominent with the toys but Kylo toys were significantly overproduced and sold worse than Rey/Finn/Poe while Rey, the only woman, was the best selling character even though her toys were significantly underproduced in comparison to the other characters. Finally, a chance to put my unhealthy LEGO addiction to use! Kylo Ren actually had one of the best sets for that film - his big rear end black shuttle, which fits neatly in between the recently re-issued Classic Imperial shuttle (from the Battle of Endor) and the Rogue One Badguy's Shuttle (which is ludicrously wingy and cool). Poe, however, had the black X-Wing which sold out constantly for months and months. Rey had a $10 speeder bike toy. Though there was a Rey minifig in with the New Millennium Falcon, which was easily the set that was most bought and wanted. precision fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Jan 2, 2017 |
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Jan 2, 2017 04:05
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Cythereal posted:Probably doesn't help that Kylo is a whiny little bitch who completely fails to be intimidating or edgy or compelling except in a "Jesus Christ THAT'S what the dark side has to work with these days?!" sense. Quite literally why I like him. He's just so pathetic, it's great. They couldn't out-badass Vader, so they didn't even try.
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Jan 2, 2017 04:09
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Young Freud posted:There's a World War Z sequel coming out? quote:And where's Wonder Woman on that list? Release date is June 2017. FreudianSlippers posted:Okja a kaiju film of some sort by Bong Joon-Ho (Memories of Murder, Snowpiercer, The Host) . I'm excited for this one but also confused if it will be on NetFlix or theaters 504 posted:OP does not contain new Alien movie or Blade Runner 2.. I forgot Blade Runner 2 was happening in my never-ending quest to live in my own reality where that doesn't happen (and stopped looking ahead after August except for stuff I could think of off the top of my head, as some of that stuff tends to get pushed back) New Alien just looks like he's just redoing old Alien to shut up the haters + a bit of weird Prometheus stuff he wants to do instead thrown in. Also her hair is dumb. I'll still watch it.
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Jan 2, 2017 04:09
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Cythereal posted:Probably doesn't help that Kylo is a whiny little bitch who completely fails to be intimidating or edgy or compelling except in a "Jesus Christ THAT'S what the dark side has to work with these days?!" sense. He's so entitled and whiny a character (which is great for a villain, no irony) I know fan groups who suspect he's an incel
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Jan 2, 2017 04:19
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I don't think I could engage with anyone who doesn't realize that Kylo Ren was intentionally an emo doofus. The fact that he was played by loving Adam "Lena Dunham's insanely manchild boyfriend on Girls" Driver should have been hints number 1 through 10.
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Jan 2, 2017 04:25
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I unironically loved Gods of Egypt. It's on my shelf next to Apollo 18 in my "movies apparently made just for me because nobody else liked them" section.Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Quite literally why I like him. He's just so pathetic, it's great. They couldn't out-badass Vader, so they didn't even try. I like it from a lore (I know, I know) way too - the Dark Side is all about uncontrolled emotion, after all.
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Jan 2, 2017 04:26
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World War Z had the most balls to the wall insane solution to a pandemic since Daybreakers so it has that going for it I guess.
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Jan 2, 2017 04:30
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Byzantine posted:I unironically loved Gods of Egypt. It's on my shelf next to Apollo 18 in my "movies apparently made just for me because nobody else liked them" section I like both those movies.  A lot of people around here like Gods of Egypt and Apollo 18, actually.
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Jan 2, 2017 04:45
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Improbable Lobster posted:It was more prominent with the toys but Kylo toys were significantly overproduced and sold worse than Rey/Finn/Poe while Rey, the only woman, was the best selling character even though her toys were significantly underproduced in comparison to the other characters. And isn't this due to the belief in the toy industry that Star Wars toys are action figures, which means only boy's will want them, and boys do not want to play with female character toys?
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Jan 2, 2017 04:46
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-Predictions- Good: Blade Runner 2049 Bad: Anything with a DC superhero or made by a Sony owned company Wildcard: Ghost in the Shell Woof Blitzer fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Jan 2, 2017 |
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Jan 2, 2017 04:52
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