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In, with a Lego set.
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Jan 3, 2017 17:58
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 08:52 |
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In! I would like an animal and a Fleta's choice.
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Aug 10, 2017 20:54
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A Brave New Waterworld Count: 1224/1300 Themes: bass (animal), a woman writing the word "pussy" into the sand with her foot. More shocking than merpeople being real, I think, was that they were all so drat rude about it. I always assumed that a day that would change the course of human history would be, itself, somehow momentous. But Thursday, July 27th was notable only for how remarkably close it was to a completely average summer day. It was hot, partly cloudy. The only important decision left to be made was whether or not to chance the Friday shore traffic, or leave tonight instead. Then, at about 2:30, the merpeople began to emerge. This was no conspiracy theory, no indeterminate pixels in the bottom of some cell phone picture. Thousands, millions of them, all at once. Fish began beaching themselves, and started to transform. And not just the oceans, either. The bass of the lakes and streams, the cod of the Arctic: fish surfaced and began to grow arms and legs. Before five minutes had passed, millions of the most beautiful people anyone had ever seen were standing on our beaches. It was unignorable. Once the news helicopters arrived, they began to carve their messages into the sand. OUR WORLD IS NOT YOUR DUMP EAT OUR poo poo, HUMANS And, most importantly: UNITED NATIONS NOW **************** Raun, the Prime Minister of the merpeople, stood in front of the General Assembly on a mound of garbage. At one point during her address, as she paced, a minor avalanche of soda cans fell onto the desk of the United Kingdom delegation. “It’s been years,” she said to the packed hall of dignitaries, “centuries, really. And it’s just been getting worse. It started as junk from a couple caravels a year, only on the major trade routes. Inconvenient? Maybe. Gross? Sure. But we were willing to be reasonable in the name of a peaceful ocean. “But it seems we gave you far too much slack. I mean, look at this,” she gestured to the knoll beneath her. “And look at that! What the hell are we supposed to do with those?” she pointed to the corner of the room at a small pile of spent NASA rockets. “And what is it that you propose?” asked the delegate from the United States. He was a severe man whose words could change the course of this new world, and as he spoke the busy room quieted. “We’ve seen your news,” Raun said with a softening expression, “I know you fear a war. We have no intention of fighting. I’ve come to you, the United Land Nations, with hope for our futures. Today, now, every country above the water is fighting with the realities of climate change. We did, too, for a long time. But we have developed a solution. With our technology and our practices, we have created a fully sustainable society. Carbon-free fuel, and a world where no one has to live with garbage. And, as our gift to the land peoples, we want to share it with you.” For a while, no one spoke. Then, the delegate from China took up her microphone. “How?” *************** Soon, it was almost impossible to recall what the world had been like on Wednesday, July 26th. The salt-based fuels that the merpeople had developed revolutionized transportation and power generation. And, thanks to the sheer volume of our debris that had fallen to the sea floor, the merpeople were able to spend quite some time making sure that their technology perfectly integrated with ours. Salt-based cars were becoming more and more common. Elon Musk’s new venture, Salzburg, promised that every home and workplace would be powered by salt before the next Christmas. Emissaries from the merpeople traveled to Iowa to integrate a new kelp-corn hybrid with yields that promised to solve hunger. In Uzbekistan, they demonstrated a new seaweed-based fabric. After working through their differences regarding the phrase “chicken of the sea,” human and merpeople farmers were able to collaborate on an amphibious, algae-eating chicken that used barely more carbon than the plants it ate. The merpeople, for their part, were most proud of their collaboration with NASA. By the Fourth of July, not even a year since the Emergence, salt-based rockets were being fired. For all of their expertise, the merpeople had never been to the Moon. They would rather like to try. ***************** The General Assembly unanimously passed a resolution honoring July 27th as Emergence Day, a global holiday for celebration “both below and above the water,” a day for giving thanks for the new era of tranquility and sustainability that the merpeople had brought. As the Assembly turned to other business, it was the delegate from Russia who spoke first. “With all due respect,” he began to Raun, “and I mean all due respect, because you have truly changed our world— the only promise we’re still waiting on is what we should do with our trash. We’ve still been filling our landfills, and I for one am deeply eager to see what this world without garbage looks like.” Raun rose, with a smile. “I appreciate your patience, and I know that promise has gone unfulfilled so far. To be honest, it’s taken longer than I would have liked. But we are working very hard to adapt our technique for humans. I’d like to announce that by the end of the year, we will give a demonstration. I’ll give a firmer date as we draw closer, and after I consult with our scientists.” The Assembly applauded wildly. **************** On Black Friday, the USS Gerald Ford had salted itself to an area above the Mid-Atlantic Ridge. Representatives from the UN Security Council stood on the deck with a delegation from the merpeople, scores of merpeople vessels behind them carrying the garbage. Raun had promised that, at noon, the demonstration would begin. Cameras made sure that the whole world could see. Raun raised his hand, and the world held its breath. All at once, the merpeople ships began a roll, and the garbage fell off the sides and beneath the waves. For a while, no one said anything, awaiting the revolutionary conversion. The waves remained still. It was Raun who spoke first. “Well? What do you think? “So you, uh, just pitch it off the side?” the American admiral asked. “Into the ridge,” Raun corrected gently. “Into the ridge?” “Yes, there are no merpeople down there. Most of it falls into the volcanic area. Our scientists estimate we can do this virtually indefinitely.” “And this is what you do with your garbage?” “It is! There are no humans there, no merpeople,” she frowned. “You seem unimpressed, my friends.” “No, just,” the delegate from France stuttered, “after all of this, I was expecting something more like how everything else has been. It almost seems like it’s just moving the trash around. It’s almost like what we were doing to you.” “I assure you. This isn’t like that at all. We’ve been doing this for hundreds of years." “Well,” the American admiral began, “I can’t wait to do this with more. What was the estimate on finishing this process with all of our dumps?” “We think we can have all of your landfills completed cleared by this time next year!” A polite applause began. Unseen by all of them, behind the Ford, an enormous tentacle began to rise up out of the sea.
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Aug 14, 2017 17:07
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:You're like three minutes late, farchanter, I will pretend you are not. I sincerely appreciate this
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Aug 14, 2017 17:24
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