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Jan 6, 2017 05:13
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Big duck, little duck 1,183 words Lilly didn’t mind going to her five-year-old sister’s beauty pageants, as long as she was allowed a little independence. She would happily pile into their van, filled to the brim with pink plastic garment bags, and pretend she was heading for a weekend getaway by herself. The days would be spent navigating through massive convention centers, the layouts of which Lilly would memorize so she could confidently walk alone between bathrooms, dressing rooms, and vending machines. Then she would pour over maps of the surrounding city. Once the competition was over, Lilly would always proudly direct them back to their hotel and recommend the nearest take-out place. Most of all, Lilly loved bedtime. After every competition, her sister insisted on sleeping with Mom. This arrangement meant Lilly would get to dig her toes into the tucked-in edges of her own, enormous, double-sized bed. So, on one such weekend, in the corner of a tight dressing room, Lilly sat on the floor studying a map of downtown Memphis. Sammy, her sister, perched on a swivel chair, legs swinging back and forth as she practiced smiling in the mirror. Mom was stationed right behind Sammy, making minute adjustments to her tight blond curls and furiously spraying hairspray. Just as Mom raised the bottle again, her cell phone vibrated on the make-up counter, kicking up a cloud of glitter. She picked it up and, after a few curt words, squatted down to Lilly. “Lilly, honey, Mommy has to take care of business. I need you to walk Sammy out to the stage. Can you do that?” Before Lilly could answer, Mom rose up and stormed out the door, heatedly whispering into the phone. Lilly looked up at her little sister, whose legs had stopped swinging. She got up from the floor and carefully lifted Sammy down from the swivel chair. Holding hands loosely, Lilly led them out of the dressing room and into the wings of the stage. They fell in line behind another child with her mom. A spindly man in a black t-shirt and black pants held a clipboard, checking everyone’s name before ushering them onstage. When they got to the front of the line, the man peered down at the pair of small girls from his clipboard. He squatted down to Sammy and smiled through long, yellow teeth. “Hello, dear. What’s your name?” Sammy frowned at him and stepped behind Lilly. “I want Mommy,” Sammy whispered from behind Lilly. Lilly gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Her name’s Samantha Whittaker,” Lilly said. He squinted at his list. “Says here her mom is the chaperone. You don’t look like her mom to me,” He chuckled and scratched her name off the list. Lilly heard a small sniffle behind her and turned to see Sammy’s lower lip puffing out. “I want Mommy,” Sammy repeated. She was heading for a meltdown. Lilly quickly turned back to the man. “How much longer until she goes?” She asked. “They’re just about to call her name now,” The man smiled wider and stood up, so he was towering over them again. Lilly’s thoughts raced: There wasn’t enough time to find Mom, so she would have to fix this herself. She turned to Sammy, whose eyes were filling with tears as she stared up at the creepy man. “Um,” Lilly started, “Mom will be back soon. Good luck… and you’ll do great!” She nodded definitively and pulled Sammy in for a limp, awkward hug. As Lilly let go, the man put his hand on Sammy’s back and gently pushed her up the stairs and onto the stage. Now glittering under the bright stage lights, Sammy looked back at Lilly, who gave her two thumbs up and another nervous smile. Sammy’s eyes darted to the man, who smiled again and wiggled his long fingers at her. Sammy looked out into the audience, inhaled sharply, and burst into tears. She dove backstage, zoomed past Lilly, dodged the weird man, and careened through the dark hallway. Lilly chased after her and ran into an unfamiliar corridor flanked with large wooden doors. She nervously looked around and, spotting a door closing down the hall, bolted into it. Inside was a long table with wheeled chairs lined up around it. Lilly listened intently and heard sniffling. Still panting, she bent down, hands on her knees, and looked under the table. She found Sammy curled up by one of the thick table legs, her face buried in her knees. Lilly’s stomach clenched with anger. “Why did you take off like that?” Lilly shouted, “Mom’s gonna kill you!” “I want Mommy!” Sammy screamed back, still clenching her knees to her face. “Why? When she gets back, she’s gonna be so mad that you ran off!” Realization dawned on Lilly. “She’s gonna blame me for this! Ugh!” Sammy let out a huge sob in response. Lilly stood up and banged her fists on the top of the table. “You’re such a baby!” Lilly yelled from above the table. Lilly heard Sammy’s crying intensify. The helpless sound of her little sister weeping made the anger drain from Lilly. She slumped forward onto the table and held her head in her hands, releasing the rest of her frustration in a final, audible sigh. Her nose started to sting, and tears welled up. Both the sisters let defeat wash over them, Lilly on top of the table, and Sammy underneath. For a moment, they cried soundlessly together. Lilly wiped her nose on her sleeve and lifted her head up. She let out another sigh and knelt down under the table. Careful not to bump her head, Lilly crawled over to her sister. “I’m sorry for yelling,” Lilly said softly, “and calling you a baby.” Sammy lifted her head up slightly. “I got nervous,” Sammy mumbled. Tears threatened to pour out again. Lilly reached an arm out to rub her sister’s back. “Everyone gets nervous sometimes. It’s okay,” Lilly said. “Not you,” Sammy wiped her eyes, smudging mascara everywhere, “You always do everything by yourself.” Lilly took a moment to think. “Well,” she bit the inside of her lip, “Maybe now I do, but that’s because I’m six years older than you. When I was five, I never did anything like this.” “Really?” Sammy looked over at her sister. “Of course,” Lilly laughed, “I would have been way too nervous to get up onstage in front of hundreds of people. I cried every time I had to leave Mom to go to kindergarten!” “You did?” Sammy giggled. “Yeah, and I never went anywhere unless I was holding Mom’s hand,” Lilly pulled her sister close to her, “even to the bathroom." They both giggled together. "You’re way braver than I was.” Sammy gave her sister a warm hug. “Can we stay under here a little longer?” Sammy asked. Lilly smiled and nodded. For a few more minutes the girls stayed in their fortress, laughing at what used to scare them. They both emerged confidently from under the table, and that night, Lilly didn’t even mind sharing a bed with her brave little sister.
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Jan 9, 2017 04:39
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in Is there a PO box or something for the blood? Also this week we should prolly allow smut.
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Jan 10, 2017 17:39
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Sitting Here posted:don't waste my time with insincere garbage but my soul is insincere garbage.
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Jan 13, 2017 18:42
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Queens (2073 words maybe) There was a Lass, tan and tall A beauty of the seas She wed a Pirate with forty ships And together they ruled with ease Their crew was loyal, brave, and true And steadfastly they sailed the blue Until that Pirate Lass one night Tried to sail against the breeze ~~~ Cannon fire. Leora shot up in bed, drenched in a cold sweat. She had been dreaming of a past battle, but the sound of cannon fire had suddenly become real. The sound reverberated through the cabin again, and she realized it was not a cannon - it was thunder. Her husband, the captain, was beginning to stir too. Leora, wide-awake now, rushed to the door. She opened the door of the captain’s quarters and stepped into cacophonic darkness. The only light came in bursts when lightning struck around the vessel. The drum of the storm was deafening. Leora saw from the flashes that the storm extended far along either side of the ship. The night crew scrambled around her, trying not to fall overboard. Leora jumped up to the helm and just as she grabbed hold of the wheel, the ship pitched violently. She tightened her grip and forced the wheel clockwise. Her husband leaped up onto the deck beside her. “We have to turn back!” She yelled above the booming waves, “We’ll never be able to sail through this!” “We can’t outrun it either!” He yelled back and pinned her between the wheel and his chest as the ship rolled into a deep trough. He spoke directly into her ear, “if we turn our back on it, it’ll surely kill us.” Resolve overcome her fear. “We face it head on, then.” Just then, a wave crashed below them, onto the main deck. The ship rocked, and Leora slipped from between the wheel and her husband. The storm came upon the ship like a hawk upon a wounded mouse, and Leora struggled to find purchase as she fell onto the drenched main deck. She desperately grasped for the poles lining the port side, but the ship was tossed again into a wave. Leora looked up just as the lightning struck, revealing an all-consuming wall, hundreds of stories high, towering over her. The wave washed away from the main deck and took Leora with it. She was pulled by the current into suffocating darkness. ~~~ The Pirate Bride awoke in awe Alive, but underwater And floating there in front of her Was the Mermaid Queen’s fair daughter Said the Lass, “I must return! To the love within my heart that burns! And the ships that sail at my command!” The sea around grew hotter ~~~ Silence. Leora opened her eyes wide and was startled by a bright, warm glow in front of her. She squeezed her eyes shut and started to bring her hands to her face, but was surprised again. The movement was difficult and slow, like moving through water. She opened her eyes, slowly this time. Sand below her, a whale’s rib cage surrounding her like prison bars. She let her eyes adjust to the greenish glow in front of her. Leora was staring at a mermaid. She clutched the whale bones and squinted at the girl. “Did you bring me here?” Leora demanded. “You were drowning,” The mermaid girl spoke slowly, “so I rescued you. I used my magic to -” “I have to get back,” Leora pressed herself against the whale bones, trying to squeeze between them. “Back?” The mermaid swam backward, just out of Leora’s grasp. “Yes, back,” Leora said sternly, “Thank you for saving my life, but I must get back to my crew. They’re in danger!” Leora was almost shouting now, trying with all her strength to pull the whale bones apart. “You’re… one of them?” The mermaid girl edged farther away. Suddenly she tensed up and twisted her body around to see a distant glow, growing larger. She darted towards Leora’s cage. “Please, don’t tell mother you’re a… a…” the mermaid struggled, her face full of fear. She turned towards the glow that was now upon them. Leora watched as an octopus with glowing tentacles stopped just in front of them, and began contorting its body. The tentacles started elongating and splitting into fine strands, the head of the octopus stretched into a beautiful tail and body. The parts twisted and writhed until they formed the shape of a woman, strong and tall, with a massive silver tail and red hair flowing in every direction. A large metal fish hook wrapped around her waist shimmered by the bright blue glow of her skin. She stared down at the two forms. ~~~ The Mermaid Queen appeared! And struck down the Pirate Bride She cursed the Pirates who disturbed The seas on which they ride The Pirate Queen stood fierce and proud Defending her Pirates, a motley crowd, And bet to prove they loved the sea Lest she fade into the tide ~~~ A booming voice. “Who have we here?” the Mermaid Queen’s voice filled the sea around them. Leora felt it reverberate through her body, just as the thunder had. She looked up at the glowing figure that towered above like the wall of water that brought her here. “I’m Leora, the Pirate Queen,” she answered coolly, “and I demand to be released.” The mermaid let out a laugh, slow and indulgent. Leora glanced over to the daughter, whose face looked pained. “A Pirate Queen?” The mermaid bent down, so her face was at the same level as Leora’s. The two women locked eyes, fearsome tension building between them. Without looking away, the mermaid spoke to her daughter. “Why is she still alive?” “I didn’t know she was one of them,” the daughter looked down at the sand, “She was drowning and-” “Is she from the ship that passed through yesterday?” The Mermaid Queen broke eye contact briefly to inspect her daughter, who nodded silently. She turned slowly back Leora. “I believe a few of your loyal subjects,” the mermaid smirked, “became familiar with my waters yesterday. And I plan to meet the rest of them at dawn.” “You…” Leora whispered at first, her anger growing with her understanding, “You set the storm upon us. You’re the reason we almost sank! You’re the reason I’m here!” Leora was panting with fury. Her knuckles were as white as the whale bones they clutched. “Why?” She roared. The Mermaid Queens smirk was replaced by skepticism, “You claim to be a Pirate Queen, yet you know nothing of your history? Very well. I will show you.” She snapped the surrounding bones, entwined her fingers into Leora’s hair, and suddenly Leora was surrounded by a luscious coral bed bustling with sea creatures. Leora looked around for the two mermaids, but they had disappeared as well. She stared in awe at the thriving marine life around her. “This,” the Mermaid Queen’s voice echoed in her head, “Is what my kingdom looked like before your kind destroyed my waters.” Suddenly spears shot down around her and skewered every fish in sight. Cannon balls fell through the water and crushed the coral reef under them. A whale with a gash in its side floated down around her and began to decompose, its ribs splaying open as eels slithered through it. The bones were soon picked clean, and Leora felt the Mermaid Queen release her head as she drifted back into the present. “I’m sorry that this happened to your kingdom,” Leora met the Mermaid Queen’s eyes again and sneered, “but my crew is not responsible. We respect the ocean. I have taught them that much.” “You have?” The mermaid let out another laugh, “My dear, they showed no respect for the ocean when they arrogantly sailed through my storm.” “We had no choice!” Leora pushed herself out of the broken whale bones and reached towards the Mermaid Queen’s neck. The Queen grabbed Leora’s outstretched wrists and flung her down, pinning her against a bleached flat coral. “Neither do I,” The Mermaid Queen snarled, her face inches from Leora’s. She reached back to the shimmering fishing hook tethered around her waist. “Mother, please!” Suddenly the daughter wedged herself between the two women and forced them apart. The Mermaid Queen roared in anger. Leora scrambled upright and spoke quickly. “Let me prove it!” She said, watching the Mermaid Queen carefully. She stilled. Leora continued, “If I prove they respect your waters, will you let them live?” The mermaid turned over the fishing hook in her hand. After a moment, she looked at her daughter. “You wish to show her compassion when her kind has shown us none?” The mermaid looked into her daughter’s eyes, exasperated. “That is what you taught me, mother,” the daughter replied. “Very well,” the mermaid turned back to Leora, “I will turn you into a dolphin, and you will swim alongside your ship until they see you. If they spare you, I will spare them. Fair?” The mermaid extended a hand, and Leora shook it. “Good,” The mermaid grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. Leora felt a sharp pain as the Mermaid Queen stabbed the fishhook into the small of her back. Leora tried to scream, but her voice no longer came. She tried to look at her hands, but she couldn’t see them. Her feet became long and flat, and her legs joined into one smooth muscle. She twisted and thrashed until her body stopped burning, and she found it much easier than before to turn through the water and stare at the smiling Mermaid Queen. “Let’s go,” said the mermaid, and they began swimming upwards. When they reached the surface of the water, it was almost dawn. The Mermaid Queen had led them to her ship. She pulled gently at the line attached to the fishing hook piercing Leora’s dorsal fin. “I’ll be watching from below,” The Queen said, and dove down. Leora was left alone, keeping pace on the starboard side of the vessel. She steeled herself and propelled upwards. She caught a quick glance of the ship’s side before splashing back into the water. She swam away from the boat’s side and darted above the water again, this time catching a glimpse of the deck. Her heart sunk as she saw her husband, repairing the damage from the storm. He looked weathered and weak. She dove into the water again, her heart racing now. She breached the surface one last time and locked eyes with her husband. She splashed below the water, exhilarated and fearful. Below her, she saw the Mermaid Queen’s figure approaching. She swam forward patiently, keeping pace with the boat, awaiting the Mermaid Queen’s apology. She felt a sharp sting in her side. Then another. She was pulled to the water’s surface. Panic set it. She flailed about but a net enclosed her. She tried to scream as she saw the Mermaid Queen smile below her. Suddenly she was being lifted up the side of the ship, and she felt the two spears being ripped out of her sides. Her useless body flopped onto the main deck. She opened her mouth, but only strange noises came out. As her husband approached her, she screamed his name with every fiber of her being. She saw him withdraw his sword, and she could only thrash around. She felt her crew, the crew she loved and respected, pin her down on all sides, and prepare her to be slaughtered. She tried to look into her husband’s eyes one last time, but he avoided her. He disappeared behind her, and she braced for death. She felt his sword stab into her dorsal fin, still tender from the Mermaid Queen’s hook, and then... She felt the hook being cut out of her and heard it clatter onto the deck next to her. “Toss the poor beast back in,” her husband bellowed. And as her body was thrown back into the water, now freed from the magical hook, her arms extended back out and her tail separated into legs. She swam back to the surface, as the Mermaid Queen’s hook sank into the depths. ~~~ The Mermaid Queen was honorable She did as she had said And as the Lass climbed aboard her ship The ‘maids below retreated The Queens returned dutifully To their Kings - one man, one sea And with a newfound reverence Into the blue horizon, they led.
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Jan 16, 2017 09:04
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I lift the razor to my wrists again; I bleed out words that are just average. gently caress me, gently caress me, gently caress me, gently caress you, I'm in.
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Jan 18, 2017 15:58
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Slippers and a Bathrobe (147 words) An arson? Well, that is a mystery. I was asleep, you see. That is, until, The smell of burning gasoline woke me! So I investigated, naturally. I grabbed my robe and headed down the hill. An arson? Well, that is a mystery. I don’t think I was being that nosy, When - I admit, I felt a little thrill - The smell of burning gasoline woke me! In fact, I think it’s rather neighborly (Not that they checked on me when I was ill) An arson? Well, that is a mystery. I saw the fire, and turned back up the street, Went back to bed. Enough! I’d had my fill. The smell of burning gasoline woke me! The flames burned down to smoke, eventually. And now we’re here, sonny. I’ll tell you still: An arson? Well, that is a mystery. The smell of burning gasoline woke me!
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Jan 23, 2017 05:37
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Imma keep shittin out lovely words until they ain lovely no mo. IN
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Jan 25, 2017 15:30
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Prompt: "Her life's been anything but happy, but vengeance keeps her going... and she's closer to it than she knows." The Bride-to-Be 1331 words Leo had never jumped off of a moving train before, but he had never rescued his big sister from a depraved vampire king before either, and though he was terrified of both things, he found himself hanging precariously off the back of a train in front of the vampire king’s castle. So, he tucked his glasses in his coat pocket and, after taking in a big gulp of air and shutting his eyes tightly, hurled himself gracelessly into the mud. Unsurprisingly, his glasses didn’t survive the fall. Leo did survive, however, so he picked himself up and began the trek upwards to the vampire king’s lair. As Leo climbed the hill, he tried his best not to look up at the large castle which loomed ahead of him. He didn’t need more of a reason for his legs to shake in his now mud-covered boots. Instead, he retrieved the note he had received from his sister yesterday from his pants pocket and carefully unfolded it. He squinted at the words, but he couldn’t make them out without his glasses. Folding the paper back gingerly, he sighed. It didn’t matter much; he had memorized the words anyway: Dearest Brother, I tried to kill Von Kreet once and for all, but I failed. I’m being held captive in his dungeons until our wedding day. Please hurry. Es Trembling, he felt around in his other pants pocket for the silver knife she had given him two weeks ago for his sixteenth birthday. Thinking back on it now, she had all but warned him this would happen: “The nightmares are back. I can feel it - he's coming for me again,” Esmeralda said, sitting on the edge of her bed, facing Leo’s. “Essie, it was six years ago. You were just a girl then. How many times do I have to say it? It's over. Let it go!” Leo slammed his fists on his bed and threw himself back onto it. “But he took our parents! I need… I need to make things right. I need to make him pay,” Esmerelda reached under her pillow, and produced a carefully wrapped box with a deep red ribbon. “I got you something, Leo,” She placed it next to him on the bed, “In case I’m not here to protect you.” Leo turned to look at her. With his glasses off, he couldn’t quite make out the tears in her eyes, which is why he said, “Fine. Go. But I won’t help you. I don’t need your protection anymore,” and rolled over and blew out his candle. Leo clenched his fists when he remembered how stupid and selfish he had been. He was inside the dark, dusty castle now, and though every fiber of his being wanted to scream and run away, he forced himself to stay perfectly quiet and press onward, down a winding staircase. Leo reached the doorway of the dungeon and froze, trembling in front of it. His palms sweat, and his heart pounded. He heard from inside a sound that made his entire body go cold: the deep, velvet voice of Von Kreet, the vampire king. “My sweet Esmerelda, I wish you would stop fighting so. You will make a lovely queen, I assure you.” “I won’t be your queen!” The sound of his sister’s voice made Leo’s knees buckle, and he had to brace himself against the wall to stop from tumbling into the room. “Of course you'll be my queen! Darling, I’ve been planning our marriage since the first time I captured you. Ha, do you remember that wondrous night? The only human to ever escape me, and you were a mere child. Of course, I did get your parents in exchange…” Von Kreet’s voice trailed off as if he was remembering the taste of fine wine, “But, I knew then that I had to have you. We’ll dance, we’ll say our vows, and then, my delicious queen, for our wedding night –“ “Let go of her!” Leo burst through the door. Candles filled the center of the room and trailed backward to an ornate four post bed covered in black lace. In the middle of the room stood Von Kreet’s dominating form hunched over his sister, who was tied to a wooden chair and wearing a tightly-fitted wedding dress. Von Kreet laughed slowly and deeply, “My dear boy, we’ve been engaged for six years now. I assure you,” he twisted his head to look at Leo and bared his shining fangs, “that is the last thing I will do.” “Leo!” Esmerelda gasped. “Oh, this is your dear little brother!” In a flash Von Kreet was upon Leo, grabbing him by his upper arms and lifting him like a rag doll. Leo twisted and squirmed, but to no avail. He reached for the knife in his back pocket, but Von Kreet clenched his arms tightly. “I’m so glad you could make it for the special occasion,” just as playfully as Von Kreet had picked Leo up, he dropped him onto the stone floor in front of Esmerelda’s chair. Leo tried to prop himself up on his arms, but Von Kreet swept over him and pinned him to the floor. His face was inches from Leo’s, and Leo could smell the iron in his breath. Shaking, Leo stared into Von Kreet’s cat-like pupils. Behind him, he could see Esmerelda’s terrified face and the ominous bed that awaited her. “Let’s make sure you stay long enough to see your big sister become a woman,” Von Kreet slowly rose and backed away from Leo, towards Esmerelda. He turned his head to the darkest corner of the room and in a soft, sing-song voice, said, “Oh, pet, I’ve got a toy for you.” Before Leo saw her, he could hear her. The sound of a thousand snakes filled the room, overpowering Esmerelda’s cries for him to shut his eyes. Medusa slinked out from the shadowy corner, and before he could shield himself, Leo’s body froze in position. Esmerelda screamed, but it was barely audible over the fervent snakes. Medusa cackled as she turned her gaze away from him, towards Von Kreet. “Very well done, my pet,” Von Kreet said in a sultry tone. The snakes from Medusa’s head lovingly reached out to caress his bald dome. “Now, be gone!” “Yessssss, massssster,” Medusa said as the snakes slowly unraveled themselves from Von Kreet’s bone white head and dropped down her back. She slithered out of the room, and Von Kreet turned back to face Esmeralda, his slitted pupils fixed on her neck, an eerie smile spread across his long face. Esmerelda could barely see Leo’s frozen body behind Kreet, who was swiftly approaching. She cried out for her baby brother, tears streaming down her cheeks and past her jaw. As they dripped down her neck, she shut her eyes tightly. She felt the cold stroke of Von Kreet’s tongue on her jugular, but she couldn’t twist away anymore. Esmerelda the Relentless, who had battled him for six long years, had finally lost to the vampire king. But Leo, who had scarcely started to grow facial hair, had not. He grabbed the silver knife out of his pocket and stabbed hard into the back of Von Kreet’s bent form. The vampire king’s long spine arched backward and convulsed, and his whole body began to smoke and shrink. His large white head shriveled up, and his long fingers shrunk down to tiny toothpicks. The fearsome vampire king disappeared under the smoldering pile of a three-piece suit. Leo rushed to Esmerelda’s chair and hastily untied the ropes, still shaking and breathless from the adrenaline. “Leo, I thought you were –“ “I know,” he said as he loosened the last rope. Esmerelda jumped out of the chair and began tearing off the gruesome wedding dress. “But how did you –“ “Essie, you forget,” he grinned as he pulled his shattered glasses out of his coat pocket, “I’m blind as a bat.”
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Jan 30, 2017 03:07
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in. someone's gotta keep the fleshy python alive. ladies.
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Jan 31, 2017 20:49
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Us Women 521 words You know, at my first annual review with my boss, I only received satisfactory marks. I remember leaving that meeting absolutely devastated. He said, “Nancy, health care is a man’s game. If you want to play, you’re going to have to hold your own.” Of course, I threatened to report his sexual discrimination to HR, and, well wouldn’t you know it, I received outstanding marks on my next annual review. But, going through your review now, you can see I’ve graded you as outstanding on practically every aspect of your job. Attendance, thoroughness, accuracy, you’ve done just a – well, an outstanding job. Ha! You’ll notice that for leadership, though, I’ve only given you an above satisfactory. This is a very important quality, and, like I said before, you’re going to have to hold your own. Right now, I get the impression that you’re just too dainty to be in a senior position. You know, this isn’t the 50’s anymore, us women have to be strong, we have to look out for each other, and that’s why I’m telling you this now. You’re going to have to man up if you’re ever going to be a leader in this department. Right now, all of the account holders would just walk right over you. You see? So even though I can’t give you a promotion, I can try to get you a raise. I understand the wage gap more than anyone, and I’m a progressive person - a forward thinker - and I want to be part of the solution. So I’ll make your case to our HR department, let them know you’re an up-and-coming woman of color, and see what they’ll do for you. Not that it should make a difference, but you and I both know, mentioning it never hurts. Now as far as what you do with that money, obviously it’s your decision, but you just got married, right? Well, husbands are bad news, let me tell you. They tell you they love you and next thing you know they’re asking to start a joint bank account and move in! Well, from one woman to another, go ahead and have a joint bank account, let him know you’re happy to share your hard-earned money, but make sure you have a secret one just for yourself. Every smart woman has one. I call mine my Mad Money Account. Ha! I keep enough in there just to make sure that if I ever want to fly away to Cuba, I can. Of course, I wouldn’t actually do that. I’m happily married. My husband and I have been together for twenty years now. But, like I said, every smart woman has one. Anyway, we’ll talk about promoting you to senior at your next annual review, but for now I’ll fight my hardest against those pricks in the HR department. I think I might be able to get you something nice. How does 2% sound? It’ll be just great. Like I said, us women, we have to look out for each other. Now do you mind being a dear and shutting the door on your way out?
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Feb 6, 2017 04:20
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