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Retrowave Joe
Jul 20, 2001

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales - 7/10 this could shift a point or so in either direction based on whether you'd seen the previous films and/or were fans. The fan in me gives it an 8, but it's not much more than an average film.

Pros: The guy they got to play Will Turner's son looks like he could be Orlando Bloom's kid.
A few inventive action set-pieces
Special effects were top notch, especially on the ghost pirates (in particular how Salazar's hair floated like it was always underwater)
Geoffrey Rush is the highlight of his too few scenes
Tons of payoff for long-term series fans as it wraps up a lot of threads

Cons: The McGuffin is dealt with in short order
The writing wasn't on par with the first trilogy, especially the jokes
David Wenham's character could have been cut with nothing lost. He's killed with no fanfare towards the end
The lady on the front of Salazar's ship comes to life for some reason
The post-credits scene makes me happy to see Davy Jones may be coming back and at the same time a bit sad that they're going back to the well instead of doing something new

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Retrowave Joe
Jul 20, 2001

Loving Vincent - 4/5. Holy poo poo this is one of the most beautiful movies I’ve ever seen. The story drags a bit but just watching the artistry involved in making this is a sublime experience. Oddly, at times it reminded me of an early 90s Sierra adventure game.

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