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Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

China starts out unified in vanilla EU4, and with Mandate of Heaven they are an absolute terror.

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Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Guys I've gained access to Hashim's secret HOI4 files via hacking



:thejoke:

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

I was able to get the mod to run as long as Cradle of Civilization wasn't enabled, but there was a bug where rebels would be stuck at 100% siege status. So that's a thing.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Yaqub Najam Alsabah will serve the Majils.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Ralepozozaxe posted:



The newly crowned King of Rome, Hafid Tirruni, wearing the crown designed by his father Emporer Tirruni.

M'Sultan.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

It looks like it's time for another shitpost.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

To be honest, it is unlikely that Tirruni's empire will outlast the man himself. By aligning ourselves with him, we can destroy our rivals in the south and then reclaim our rightful lands in the future when Tirruni sadly passes away. It's not like he's immortal, right?

Right?

Tirruni is our ally, not Morocco

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

A
A

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Hashim posted:



Nobody panic, I haven't played past the last chapter yet, I just loaded a random save and threw men into Africa, so this isn't actually from the next update

or is it?

Don't do this to us.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

We did it. We actually managed to not screw ourselves over.

edit: How many soldiers died in the Tirruni Wars altogether?

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

What happened to Yaqub Najab Al-Sabah?

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

habeasdorkus posted:

If I'm the Almoravids, I'm feeling my oats, saying that I basically won this war, and demanding all of Qattalunya, that Al Andalus not be allowed to keep the land gained from the Kingdom of Iberia (so I can make it a puppet state) and telling everyone else to gently caress off or come get some. They're going to be overweeningly arrogant, especially since they still control the manpower machine that is the Raj. What's France and/or Russia gonna do? Invade? Good luck, there's only one global power on the globe, and all revolves around Fes.

Edit: What I'm saying is that we're left with nothing but Cadiz again, but cores on all of Iberia because of how the Almoravids did us dirty.

Also they're in the middle of fighting a huge war to keep their colonies and got their capital sacked. If anything, they're a little nervous.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

B

Zulfiqar is the most competent leader we've had in ages.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

A

We want France as our ally against the Moroccans, and the stronger France is, the better.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

A

I have no interest in the Balkans, but I do have an interest in infuriating the Moroccans and getting on the good side of Russia.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

C
Death to Morocco.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

A

My father didn't lead our forces into the Madhi's territory just some Moroccan diplomat could tell us we couldn't have our rightful land back. :cryingmajil:

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

No matter, we shall see the soil soaked with Moroccan blood when they try to withhold our rightful land from us.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Hashim posted:

A yet-to-be-revealed Christian prince from one of the royal families of Europe was installed in León-Castille (as one of the 'secret' clauses between the great powers), though you could probably guess which.

Those sausage eating motherfuckers. :argh:

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

I love the idea that an aristocrat can't really be happy until he owns 5 different airplanes, ten different cars, and enough opium to knock out an elephant.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Moderates

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Hashim posted:

It gives Hannover a relations boost with Leon, but more importantly, Hannover also gets a relations boost with Morocco (since this was a secret treaty organised between them, whereby Hannover would only agree to support Morocco's proposal for an independent Leon/Catalonia if Morocco agreed to put a von Wettin on the throne).

I knew it. Those sausage eating bastards.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Royalists

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

This is fine.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Imperialists!

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Imperialists!

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

I'd like to be a general in the Russian Army.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Alright, changed my mind. I'll be Hafez Nagar, Afghan defector and Moroccan general.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

I'm voting A. Only God's divine curse will destroy France or Morocco, and they'll be cursed thanks to our alliance.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Hashim posted:

And so Mizanur shall be declared our new Supreme Leader, though only just. Looks like we're in for an explosive year...

Wait, is this a thing where we get our own civil war event based on how many votes the opposing choices got? It would on brand as hell.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

I did an Afghanistan one that's in hiatus because I was a moron who decided he needed to make several new religions.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Invading Rome? The Jizrunids would be proud.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Fitnaning.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Come on now, we can't give up on hope!



This is the stupidest thing I have ever made.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

B

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Akratic Method posted:

F for France and C for Italy.

Also, we've always been both optimistic and a death cult, and in particular way too optimistic about the results of our death cult. It's all part of our quirky charm here in hell dimension.

Nah before EU4 we just made a lot of dick jokes, but ever since we started getting our teeth kicked in by Morocco in the early modern we became all doom and gloom, despite punching way above our weight class once MotE started.

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

What about my guy, I think he was a Nagar? He was serving with the Moroccans as a Afghan general.

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Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Hot drat. Congratulations Hashim, this has been a wonderful and excellent read. You're an machine for making it through in all this time.

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