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Macnult

bees are disappearing like socks in the dryer, only the socks can sting you and the dryer is a lot bigger and not very good at drying things all the time

when was the last time you bought new bees? or made your own? I personally have never bought bees before, so if anyone has a good connect I can reach for some bees I'll definitely check it out

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Macnult

[post reserved for a very informative blueprint to create a bee making machine]

progress report: workin on it

e: still workin on it

Macnult fucked around with this message at 07:49 on Jan 4, 2017

Macnult

also: we know what bees are. we're not here to learn more about bees so much as to acquire more bees

Macnult

BYOB: Bees Your Own BYOB

Macnult

neighbor: so you making a bee farm?
me: *collecting all of my beeswax for myself*

Plebian Parasite

I have a youtube channel where I give all my beebros sweet pickup line dances so they have a easier time busting a honey nut.

Plebian Parasite

Official Report from NASA: No bees in space, sorry, we thought we could help.

vanisher

I'd BEE lying if I said I wasn't interested in BEEing part of this thread



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

joke_explainer


how many bees you want? I'll get you 3 pounds of bees for 90 dollars.

Macnult

Plebian Parasite posted:

Official Report from NASA: No bees in space, sorry, we thought we could help.

NASA is working on a bee-powered robot to send into space, hoping to one day provide honey on an intergalactic scale

Macnult

joke_explainer posted:

how many bees you want? I'll get you 3 pounds of bees for 90 dollars.

we need more bees

Macnult

a year and a half goes by, thousands of emails I've sent out myself go down the drain, all because Buzzfeed ignored my request to become a 24/7 bee newsletter

Plebian Parasite

((Is it possible he knows? He knows about the knights of yellow and black and our mystical power to turn lead into pure bees?))

wigglin

so according to my research bees are very attracted to honey like where there's honey there's bees kind of attraction. Also highly attracted to honey? Bares. I have not wrked out the whole shebang here but I think maybe the bares are like a king bee (?) anyway, this is all prelemonary please respond to my grant request

Macnult

wigglin posted:

so according to my research bees are very attracted to honey like where there's honey there's bees kind of attraction. Also highly attracted to honey? Bares. I have not wrked out the whole shebang here but I think maybe the bares are like a king bee (?) anyway, this is all prelemonary please respond to my grant request

perhaps there is a king bee and a queen bear to also bee discovered

Yobgoblin

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
They've been losing numbers ever sense the wasps and hornets started working together against the bees. War has been going on and it's not looking good for the bees. :smithbee:

Salmiakki


i've made tiny spas for the few remaining bees so they can relax and forget about the horrors of their colonies disappearing.

i am running out of towels as they are very hard to make that small

https://twitter.com/sallymiakki
ty cat dynamite

joke_explainer


Okay I know a guy. You drive a hard bargain. 25$ a pound for bees, but you gotta order at least a hundred pounds. 100 lbs of bees gotta be enough right? ... Oh god. What if the bees are disappearing because of this bee trafficking operation. Are the bee keepers to blame? Good lord it's in the name. BEES, THEY'RE KEEPING THEM

social vegan



Oh Jen, Jen you twit you bought 2000 pounds of bees Jen

Darkman Fanpage
i tried to help a local bee hive out by collecting pollen and nectar and bringing it to the hive but they didnt seem interested in my help. i think bees might be too proud for their own good.

Luvcow

One day nearer spring

social vegan posted:

Oh Jen, Jen you twit you bought 2000 pounds of bees Jen

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
Because of the strict leash laws in my area it makes it very difficult to be a bee owner. Every morning I spend hours getting the little guys ready for their walks and sometimes one of them gets too excited and I have to spend a few more hours trying to untangle them. But it's worth it to hear their little buzzes.

death sext


bees are just big ants


social vegan



me at olive garden: uh hi i'd like just a water and could I uh get the uh unlimited bees

waitress: *gasps* h-he knows

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
Looking for a good home: Skittles - 1year old European Honeybee, has all shots, great with kids and loves to play and cuddle. My daughter is allergic so we are looking to rehome him. $25- adoption fee, please no wasps.

Elusif

Bees are just small pterodactyls

FactsAreUseless

We've got to move these microwave ovens
We need to get a whole bunch more beeeees

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
Gently used bees, $2 each or 6 for $10. Wife just bought me a box of shiny new 2017 bees and I no longer use my old ones, all are 2015s but still in great shape, buzzers still work and all still have stîngers intact, still have original boxes and receipts, covered under warranty till 2018.

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
Lost bee - Answers to the name Reggie, let him out back last week to use the bathroom and pollinate but he never returned. He's wearing a tiny blue collar with relevant bee tags. My family is distraught, we miss our little Reggie. $100 reward if you find and return him.

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
Happiness is a warm bee.

google THIS

funny prank: get 9,999 bees and number them 1-9,998 and 10,000

Farecoal

There he go

Darkman Fanpage

google THIS posted:

funny prank: get 9,999 bees and number them 1-9,998 and 10,000

this isnt funny if you're a bee with ocd

alnilam

Darkman Fanpage posted:

this isnt funny if you're a bee with ocd

Frantically dancing "worker 9,999 is missing!!!" over and over again while hivemates try to stifle their laughter

Jerry Mumphrey

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

i've been gluing sewing needles to flies for weeks now

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

mags

I am a congenital optimist.
i had posted a thread a while ago expressing my interesting in apiculture and i am still interested

having a private bee swarm trained to attach and lift me up into the sky so i can fly from location to location is the final goal

Plebian Parasite

Bee movie but everytime they say the word bee actual live bees shoot from your computer monitor

Manifisto


well the answer is obvious, we need to find what kind of music puts bees in that "special mood." nature's optimal bee-making machine is horny bees.

experimental results to date are, well, spotty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3fZuW-aJsg

the bees fuckin love this one but instead of getting it on they're all flying off in random directions to gather pollen and nectar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzGpjbk1kdk

bees seemed to respond well to barry's voice, but the subject matter of the song just made the bees stress out about work--real mood-killer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TYv2PhG89A

diaster. the bees lit tiny candles to enhance the mood, and when your house is made of wax--well, not pretty. fortunately the fire department got there in time but the bee-making parts were definitely closed for business by that time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ylDDs3mdJE

bees appreciated the effort but started asking for something a little more . . . contemporary


ty nesamdoom!

Bacon Taco

Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN
Have you tried Beeslist?



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joke_explainer


social vegan posted:

Oh Jen, Jen you twit you bought 2000 pounds of bees Jen


social vegan posted:

me at olive garden: uh hi i'd like just a water and could I uh get the uh unlimited bees

waitress: *gasps* h-he knows


FactsAreUseless posted:

We've got to move these microwave ovens
We need to get a whole bunch more beeeees


Luvcow posted:

Happiness is a warm bee.

lol

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