- social vegan
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"drat."
"Damndamndamn."
"This steak is so rare I don't think you even cooked it"
"Ya I thought John Dory was a man too"
"Yo RZA, yo razor, hit me with the major disappointment over the consistency of this flan"
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Jan 10, 2017 14:15
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 19, 2024 10:26
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- social vegan
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Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and that you are going to royally h*ck up this beef wellington what don't you understand about letting it rest
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Jan 10, 2017 14:21
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- social vegan
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Four score and seven years ago is when you should have started cooking this tripe it's bloody rubbah
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Jan 10, 2017 14:24
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- Piso Mojado
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"Where's the beef?"
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Jan 10, 2017 14:37
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- bradzilla
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 14:56
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- Macnult
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"Yo RZA, yo razor, hit me with the major disappointment over the consistency of this flan"
lol
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 15:45
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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"I refuse to admit that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word. That said, this risotto is loving poo poo, gently caress off man."
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 15:58
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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I have a dream . . . that one day you will make an omelette that is at least barely fit to be eaten off the floor like a animal, you piece of poo poo
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Jan 10, 2017 16:12
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- Android Blues
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Why didn't you pour enough Coca Cola into this sponge trifle? Why didn't you pour enough Pepsi into this hot dish of lasagne? You idiot. You loving fool. You should have poured a lot more Pepsi into this, I can't even eat it.
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 16:20
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- Android Blues
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You're a loving nonce. Can you even believe I've eaten this paella that you made me? I can't. I dislike you personally, even though the paella was good and felt delicious in my little tummy. It's just you I don't like.
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 16:21
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- Android Blues
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This pizza base has tiny ants baked into it...I love it! Top marks! *furiously crunching tiny ants* Let's end the episode early because I like it so much!
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Jan 10, 2017 16:23
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- Android Blues
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Hm. *talking to camera* He hasn't put an entire two litre bottle of sugary watery caffeine drink into this veal cutlet broth reduction, which was his first mistake. *tastes it* loving awful! Hideous!
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 16:25
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- Android Blues
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The camera cuts back to Gordon and he is just chugging Pepsi by the bottleful, foamy juices running down his chin. It's supposed to be a shot-reverse-shot conversation but they can't get any good shots of Gordon where he isn't either eating something that doesn't have enough Coca Cola in it or suckling on huge, unwieldy bottles of Pepsi with his large thin lips. He tries to speak through the plastic mouth of the bottle and cuts his lip. It sounded like he was saying a swear, sort of. The audience at home throws up their arms and cheers. This is Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares.
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Jan 10, 2017 16:30
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- social vegan
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drat, damndamndamn. The roast looked so good too. Not an ounce of Mountain Dew, though? drat. Looks like you did the don't.
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Jan 10, 2017 16:35
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- FutonForensic
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Gordon sees oysters for the first time. "What--what are these?! They're RAW!"
The server timidly responds, "Mr. Ramsey that's how they're pre--"
"RAAAW! RAAAAAAW! RAAAAAAA--" Gordon's scream is the last sound everyone on Earth hears, and then, quiet
 
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 16:36
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- social vegan
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Gordon sees oysters for the first time. "What--what are these?! They're RAW!"
The server timidly responds, "Mr. Ramsey that's how they're pre--"
"RAAAW! RAAAAAAW! RAAAAAAA--" Gordon's scream is the last sound everyone on Earth hears, and then, quiet
*gordon laps up water from the finger bowl with his tongue*
*everyone around him nervously follows suit*
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Jan 10, 2017 16:38
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- Android Blues
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*conciliatory, happy music playing. Gordon has prepared a new menu and a new seating plan for the struggling restaurant.* This is sure to turn your fortunes around. Just get it right, eh?
The menu is all Pepsi. It's nothing but Pepsi and the different sizes of Pepsi. On the back is Coke, where the wine list would be. On the front is a big Clipart picture of a man furiously chugging from a bottle, holding it up above his face with both hands, little cartoon sweat drops coming off him. The restaurant has no listed name. The maitre'd nods approvingly. Finally, this husband-and-wife team is beginning to understand what success in the dining business looks like.
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Jan 10, 2017 16:42
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- Android Blues
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A restaurant where instead of pepper grinders, the servers have big Pepsi and Coke bottles, and they pour it into your meal until you say when.
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 16:43
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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"Ok our special guests jugde is well known american actor Jason Biggs!"
*contestants clap and cheer as a demure Jason Biggs shuffles out and stands next to Gordon, his eyes looking drearily at the ground*
"Now everyone bring your apple pies up one by one"
*Jason Biggs wearily lowers his pants and sighs*
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 16:45
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- bradzilla
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"Ok our special guests jugde is well known american actor Jason Biggs!"
"contestants clap and cheer as a demure Jason Biggs shuffles out and stands next to Gordon, his eyes looking drearily at the ground*
"Now everyone bring your apple pies up one by one"
*Jason Biggs wearily lowers his pants and sighs*
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 16:45
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- FutonForensic
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I dunno man just loving pick one
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Jan 10, 2017 16:46
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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*conciliatory, happy music playing. Gordon has prepared a new menu and a new seating plan for the struggling restaurant.* This is sure to turn your fortunes around. Just get it right, eh?
The menu is all Pepsi. It's nothing but Pepsi and the different sizes of Pepsi. On the back is Coke, where the wine list would be. On the front is a big Clipart picture of a man furiously chugging from a bottle, holding it up above his face with both hands, little cartoon sweat drops coming off him. The restaurant has no listed name. The maitre'd nods approvingly. Finally, this husband-and-wife team is beginning to understand what success in the dining business looks like.
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Jan 10, 2017 16:47
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- Im Ready for DEATH
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I move that the soft drink Ramsay meme is now "a thing".
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 16:49
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 17:18
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- MrWillsauce
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*gordon laps up water from the finger bowl with his tongue*
*everyone around him nervously follows suit*
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 17:22
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- Ride The Gravitron
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by FactsAreUseless
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Now you am become Death, the destroyer of souffles.
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 17:33
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- alnilam
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Gordon: "this food..."
Audience and other panelists lean into the silence, eyes wide, listening raptly to what this god of cuisine will say next
Gordon: "...is bad."
Audience bursts into wild applause, tears in their eyes, feeling full to the brim with the pure wisdom they have just received. Even the offending chef is clapping, an appreciative smile on his face like a man who has just been given a new lease on life
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 17:45
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- social vegan
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Director: Cut, alright everyone take 5
Gordon Ramsey: *rushes off set, hiding behind a curtain. Pulls a handful of Kraft Dinner with cut up hot dogs and ketchup out of the inside pocket of his blazer. He crams the handful of noodles into his mouth, but doesn't chew, instead letting it sit on his tongue. Tears stream from his eye, a grin pulling wide at his face.*
Director: Alright alright back to work everyone
Gordon: *spits KD on the floor, looks at it longingly and returns to the scene*
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 17:47
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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*an ancient looking Gordon Ramsey bows to thunderous applause at his retirement party, throngs of fans and admirers screaming and crying as he thanks them.
Camera begins to draw back to reveal the real Gordon Ramsey looking into a snow globe, the tiny retirement scene playing out before him in the little glass sphere. A door opens and a McDonalds manager enters the room*
"God damnit Gordon the fryers backed up again and there's a huge line at the drive thru. Change the grease and then help Joey flip those burgers and if I catch you hiding in here one more time you're loving fired."
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Jan 10, 2017 17:55
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- Drink-Mix Man
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You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
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"Mmmmmm."
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 18:42
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- Android Blues
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a mentos truck has lost its brakes and is barreling towards the restaurant. everyone is petrified by horror but unable to look away. gordon roars wordlessly and raises his arms. is this a final act of defiance, or is he reaching out to embrace the ultimate realization of his vision?
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Jan 10, 2017 18:50
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- Darkman Fanpage
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"donkey balls!"
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Jan 10, 2017 19:48
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- Darkman Fanpage
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gone too soon but still with that great crisp bepsi taste
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 19:49
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 19, 2024 10:26
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#
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Jan 10, 2017 14:15
