COOKIE MEAT

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > COOKIE MEAT

Manifisto

Luvcow posted:

Dick,

It's been ages since we spoke and I'm not sure if this letter will even reach you. It's beautiful here, so much wide open space, prairies that seem to roll on forever, vast herds of chocolate chip cookies roaming free. We could become rich off the abundance of cookie meat here.

death sext posted:

I'll take it! thank you for this opportunity to become your business partner in this one-in-a-lifetime venture.

idea: we travel the country selling cookie meat as a cure for bursitis and female complaints

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 17:20

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 16:05

Manifisto

death sext posted:

what's the cookie equivalent of foie gra? snickerdoodles?

hershey's kisses. those used to be chocolate chips, grown to obscene size as the cookies were force-fed cocoa powder, butter, and vanilla.

:smith:

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 17:22

Manifisto

what really breaks my heart is when people raise cookies just for the hides, and the meat goes to waste

I don't care how fashionable that nutterbutter trim on your evening gown might look, that cookie's sacrifice deserves respect

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 19:19

Manifisto

soylent grahams, anyone?

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 19:52

Manifisto

I travel in my time machine to a dystopian future where cookies frolick unconcerned in a sunny paradise aboveground, while the keebler elves dwell in the depths, coming to the surface only to hunt and devour the hapless confections

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 21:34

Manifisto

it's dessert time at the hippie commune. out come sausages, cold cuts, beef jerky, slim jims. the newcomer timidly raises his hand and asks, "could I have a cookie instead?" the room grows silent; everyone turns to stare at him, aghast.

ty nesamdoom!

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 22:56

Manifisto

Nosfereefer posted:

"they were slaughtering the thin mints?"

"and they were screaming"

"and you ran away?"

"no, first i tried to free them. i... i opened the gate to their pen, but they wouldn't run- they just stood there confused, they wouldn't run"

haha

"I ate his mallomars with jelly beans and a nice 2%" *thpthpthpthpthpthpthpt*

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 23:28

Manifisto

seated at the elegant wooden counter, the investment banker and his date watch spellbound as the chef prepares their $300 omakase meal. artisanal flour, free-range organic eggs, butter flown fresh that day from hokkaido: just so, just so. in a trice the ingredients are combined and kneaded by the chef's expert hands into a writhing mass. with a flourish, he produces a razor-sharp knife and begins to cut perfect circles from the underside of the dough, arranging them simply on a lacquered platter. "the belly of the cookie," the banker whispers to his date. "the most expensive part. almost impossible to find outside japan."

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 01:03

Manifisto

is it really worth $10k to buy a dedicated slicer for amaretti cookies? franco at the restaurant supply throws up his hands in disgust at the question. "if you need to ask, you have never had true amaretti the way it was meant to be served," he says. "you would probably be satisfied with a chips ahoy hacked up with a kitchen knife."

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 19:19

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 16:05

Manifisto

social vegan posted:

*breaks the hard oreo exoskeleton with a pair of nutcrackers*

social vegan posted:

there was nothing wrong with these oreos before but now you're going to sit there and tell me people out in france are forcing them full of stuf on a daily basis

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 19:21

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > COOKIE MEAT