|
Jesus, that's pretty insane, I had no idea anyone had any beer with you but I'm not active on the discord. Separately: I'm pretty happy with where I'm at in life, especially having just earned my masters but I still have some things I'd like to sit down and talk to someone about that isn't a friend or family member. Now that all I have to do is job search, I want to spend this summer making myself the most physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy I've ever been, and I've kind of neglected all of those things while in grad school. How does someone go about finding a professional therapist/counselor? I know there's veterans programs but none of the things I want to talk about have anything to do with the military.
|
#
?
Jun 30, 2023 16:06
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 14:27 |
|
|
Mustang posted:Jesus, that's pretty insane, I had no idea anyone had any beer with you but I'm not active on the discord. Check to see if there's a Vet Center near you. I know you don't want to talk military stuff, but it's a reliable place to get a counselor.
|
|
#
?
Jun 30, 2023 16:33
|
|
|
Mustang posted:Jesus, that's pretty insane, I had no idea anyone had any beer with you but I'm not active on the discord. I've done people really wrong bro. I've been incredibly hosed up to people who have been nothing but good to me in the past over petty bullshit. And then there's the crowd who knows me from eve and had fun pushing my buttons to see me implode/smolder in rage. Regardless lets sort you out. I relied on school counseling services in the past to find my therapist. If we're talking skipping out on the VA/vet centers which, tbqh, can be a decent idea here are a potential avenues to search for one. 1. simply googling "Therapists/Psychologists near (insert zip here) should get you a bunch of websites. 2. Check out some of the lists here https://www.zocdoc.com/ https://www.goodtherapy.org/therapists/ny/queens https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/ny/queens-county https://doctor.webmd.com/ https://mentaltherapy.io/ https://www.findatopdoc.com/ all of the above seem like a start 3. Can you go back to your last institution and talk to their mental health department/social worker? The reason I say that is because, at least at Columbia University, they had a list of people they worked with who were vetted as competent. Vetted doesn't mean perfect fit as I had a psychologist who thought I had oppositional defiance disorder and the way she viewed me/treated me was really heavily based on her training as a behavioralist. Like she saw some things but that was a misdiagnose because no one else has called it. And I had a doctor who specialized in anxiety who thought that was what was driving me. Do not expect the civilians to be the magic bullet to curing what ails you. Like all docs, it takes work to find the fit. However I found the private care side of things to be more empathetic and understanding on average than the VA or military medicine side of things. idk if it means anything but I'll throw a prayer up for you tomorrow when I go to the synaoguge. Take care of yourself fam.
|
|
#
?
Jun 30, 2023 16:34
|
|
|
Also you're going to break up with a few. I would let them know if it's not working; different techniques and styles can help processing emotions, while sometimes therapists would say something invalidating to my experience because they didn't understand something. Either way professionally it needed to be addressed, but don't burden yourself if you need to just find someone different if it's not doing anything for you. Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 17:15 on Jun 30, 2023 |
|
#
?
Jun 30, 2023 17:12
|
|
|
Thanks friends, I looked into my school's programs and it looks like they're mainly for temporary sessions of 4-6 visits total. Currently looking through all the counselors and therapists near me, which looks like there's quite a few. I'm not too worried about the person having empathy, I've found people out here around Seattle are some of the most naturally empathetic people I've ever encountered. The people I went to grad school with are easily the most high quality group of people I've ever been associated with and I learned a lot from them. The school/program frequently espouses empathy and inclusion as values and both the faculty and students definitely live up to that claim. But yeah I totally get certain styles and techniques being better for some people and worse for others. One of the things that's been bugging me lately is something that's a result of moving so much throughout my life, both as an Army brat and again as a Soldier myself. I've realized I just naturally feel like an outsider everywhere I've been, despite making good friends in all of these places, though I definitely feel more at home in Seattle than any other place I've lived. But having "roots", and even knowing your cousins, aunts, and uncles well is something that is alien to me. Just feeling like my values are aligned with the people here in Seattle is the closest to any sense of "community" that I've ever had. I think one reason I've started to think about this a lot is the fact that many of my Army friends that also got out here have mostly moved back to the states they grew up in, and I only started making friends with WA locals since I started grad school.
|
|
#
?
Jun 30, 2023 18:19
|
|
|
Well, found a therapist that I was impressed with from her page and scheduled a free consultation next week, that was easy enough. Looking forward to it.
|
|
#
?
Jun 30, 2023 22:10
|
|
|
Mustang posted:Well, found a therapist that I was impressed with from her page and scheduled a free consultation next week, that was easy enough. lets goooooooooooooooooooo
|
|
#
?
Jun 30, 2023 22:55
|
|
|
Hope you cry (in a good way)
|
|
#
?
Jun 30, 2023 23:22
|
|
|
Wasabi the J posted:Hope you cry (in a good way) I snort laughed at this. Because I know exactly what you meant.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2023 00:06
|
|
|
Nowhere else I can think of to post this but jfc man. hosed up childhood and teens, had to drop out of HS and get a ged so I could work and move out. Went in the navy eventually. Ged was fine. Asvab got me into all the c schools I could want and didn't have to worry. So finally went to therapist today, got meds without getting threats like at the VA, went to the movies, life is good. Decide to check on finally going back to school, oh hey Texas won't send ged transcripts anymore to anyone but the person who got it. Get email from school, only way I can attend is as a non degree seeking student unless they get an official transcript. Which the state won't send. So now my only option is to....get a loving ged again or not go to school. Guess I'm not. Feels bad, man.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2023 23:58
|
|
|
iwentdoodie posted:Nowhere else I can think of to post this but jfc man. hosed up childhood and teens, had to drop out of HS and get a ged so I could work and move out. Went in the navy eventually. Ged was fine. Asvab got me into all the c schools I could want and didn't have to worry. I’m sorry did you go through a big life change? Can’t they send the GED to you and you can then forward the unopened letter to the college?
|
|
#
?
Aug 4, 2023 00:03
|
|
|
gently caress texas, change your address to the admissions office's
|
|
#
?
Aug 4, 2023 00:17
|
|
|
Crab Dad posted:I’m sorry did you go through a big life change? Moved out at 16, joined at 20, did 10. So 36 now, and have a well paying job, but want a degree just because I know this gig was pure loving luck. And nope, they specifically say anything forwarded isn't valid. Requesting a meeting with the dean but really just feels like living the same trauma I fid as a teen loving over again.
|
|
#
?
Aug 4, 2023 00:32
|
|
|
Can you refer them to the Texas website that states that stupid rear end policy? https://tea.texas.gov/student-assessment/certificate-of-high-school-equivalency/certificate-and-transcript-search-information They link to this for schools to check: https://tealprod.tea.state.tx.us/Tea.TxChse.Web/Public/CertificateSearch.aspx
|
|
#
?
Aug 4, 2023 00:37
|
|
|
Yeah, I'm waiting on a response to that now. Just so loving stupid.
|
|
#
?
Aug 4, 2023 01:27
|
|
|
Need advice please: LANDLORD/EVICTION/DISPUTE I live in Phoenix Arizona. We recently hit record heat of over 110 degree for 31 days straight. People are constantly dying on my street, I live directly next to the largest encampment in all of Arizona, in Downtown phoenix, known as "the zone". I have been battling my gentrified neighbors for the two years that I've lived here in the summer for providing a cold water station. I have proof of my neighbor lying to my landlord and telling him "homeless" people are on the property (there is nobody on the property but those allowed to be here). I have text messages of my landlord telling me to remove said people. I always ask for clarification of "what people" and ask if I'm allowed to have guest, and never receive it. Recently my landlord got a blight notice. I called the city, it is from a neighbors complaint for storage and trash. I confronted my neighbor and he said his six year old daughter saw someone pouring water over themselves so he complained. My landlord was on the property today and told us to remove everything before the reinspection. In his last messages to us he provided his lawyers info and asked for mine. I do not have one. This is what my front looks like:  My financial situation: I am 70% disabled veteran, currently about to begin my last semester on my Bachelors GI Bill. I'm in appeal for a higher rating but I don't make a lot of money. I have some savings though. I'm desperately trying to find housing I can afford (failing) and another rental before I get a possible eviction. People are dying outside in the streets, and local news haven't picked up on it but the city is failing to provide adequate water access. I have held people as they have died. There is an ongoing crisis. I refuse to remove my cold water station. Anyone got a lawyer? edit: added details: My lease ends in less than two months. He already told us he wasn't renewing it, and now I think he is ramping up for possible eviction, I'd like to speak to a lawyer and have one ready, or any other recommendations anyone has. feverish and oversexed fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Aug 7, 2023 |
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2023 18:21
|
|
|
You have to know what days they're open for walk-ins but the VA should have legal aid available, and if you tell them its a housing dispute they should help. I know the VA isn't quick, but they should have resources for just this kind of issue. Sorry I can't be of more help.
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2023 18:45
|
|
|
I'm not sure how a lawyer will help you. Eviction takes time, likely more than the two months you have left on your lease (I believe the process takes 90 days in my area). The water station may or may not be governed by local and/or state regs/laws. Again, not sure if a lawyer will be of use for this. By the time things are filed, dates set, etc, you will be moving out as your lease is ending.
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2023 18:45
|
|
|
ASAPI posted:I'm not sure how a lawyer will help you. Eviction takes time, likely more than the two months you have left on your lease (I believe the process takes 90 days in my area). that's what I'm figuring, and this may just be a big bluster on his part to scare me. But since he's asking for a lawyer I suppose I better get one just in case? I totally missed saying in my original post, he was on the property today telling us to remove EVERYTHING and its all blight, he's literally never visited the entire two years I've lived here before. CoffeeQaddaffi posted:You have to know what days they're open for walk-ins but the VA should have legal aid available, and if you tell them its a housing dispute they should help. I know the VA isn't quick, but they should have resources for just this kind of issue. Sorry I can't be of more help. I actually contacted the CRRC and they have a legal person I left a message with, thanks for this recommendation I didn't think to straight call the VA and ask if the have a legal clinic here locally as well. Thanks
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2023 18:48
|
|
|
feverish and oversexed posted:that's what I'm figuring, and this may just be a big bluster on his part to scare me. But since he's asking for a lawyer I suppose I better get one just in case? I totally missed saying in my original post, he was on the property today telling us to remove EVERYTHING and its all blight, he's literally never visited the entire two years I've lived here before. For now, it makes the most sense to me (not a lawyer) to remove the water stuff as that would likely be the grounds used to evict you. Even if the VA lawyer calls you back today and they can help, by the time that is achieved you are moving out due to the lease ending. I get that you are pissed and/or scared due to the whole situation. I don't see how you "win" in this scenario. Landlord already said the lease isn't going to be renewed in less than 2 months, he won, you lost. Pushing the water issue will only add more fuel to the fire. I would focus my time on finding a new place or an organisation locally to help me find a new place.
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2023 19:06
|
|
|
I'm going to want advice on what to do if I'm digging my heels in. I am not removing anything. If you don't have advice to that effort, then I don't want it? (I am looking and have people looking thank you) specifically looking for a lawyer that wants to dig in with me since I have ample ongoing proof of him having a problem with me that doesn't exist. edit: to be very clear, I will remove the water station the day I leave or when the police cut it off. feverish and oversexed fucked around with this message at 19:14 on Aug 7, 2023 |
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2023 19:08
|
|
|
is this a thing the white house hotline can do anything about? Like I normally would be like call them for when the VA or a government agency is being a poo poo but yeah...idk.feverish and oversexed posted:I'm going to want advice on what to do if I'm digging my heels in. I am not removing anything. If you don't have advice to that effort, then I don't want it? (I am looking and have people looking thank you) fight them fam but take care of yourself too. smdh what the gently caress I HAVE WATER OUT, WORST CRIME IN THE WORLD LOL
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2023 19:18
|
|
|
TheWeedNumber posted:is this a thing the white house hotline can do anything about? Like I normally would be like call them for when the VA or a government agency is being a poo poo but yeah...idk. EXACTLY MY POINT. (The cringey veteran sign came out after the landlord told me to remove poo poo, I promise.) Oh no! Someone's child saw water getting poured over themselves! Like... WOULDN'T YOU RATHER SEE THAT THEN THE BODIES? I personally am tired of bodies LITERALLY on my sidewalk so yeah, the FROZEN WATER BOTTLE STATION I'VE MAINTAINED ALL SUMMER IS STAYING. For future goons: the CRRC told me if I get an actual notice of eviction to walk directly into their office with it and they got me, so that made me feel better (Community Resource Referral Center in Phoenix). I've contacted some lawyers and I am going to be talking further with the DAV who was helping me with my appeal and was aware I am having trouble finding new affordable housing (after he told me last week he wasn't renewing my lease for "blight"). Still looking for personal recommendations in the meantime tho
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2023 19:32
|
|
|
Since you're a veteran, could you ask a representative of your former service branch to print a sign for saying something along the lines of "US [former service branch] community service stand. Operated and maintained by retired volunteer service members. For inquiries, contact [former service branch admin office]". If people are going to pat you on the head with that "thank you for your service" bullshit, why not smack them across the face with the service brand? Edit: Since you mentioned that the news haven't picked up on the situation, you could reach out to a local news station and hand them a hell of a headline "military veteran threatened with eviction for saving lives". Or if the region is fairly religious, you could get in touch with local church groups and ask them to help you organize health booths so the people currently dying in the streets won't be left to die if your psychotic neighbors and landlord decide to force the matter. SerthVarnee fucked around with this message at 19:56 on Aug 7, 2023 |
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2023 19:42
|
|
|
Good idea!! Got an interview with abc15 tomorrow, still looking for a lawyer. I imagine after the story goes live I might get a little bit more publicity and find one.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2023 03:18
|
|
|
Do you have a new lease lined up already? If not you might want to take care of your housing situation immediately, before this situation accelerates any further. Landlords can be lovely about blacklisting people. They definitely have little websites where they share information about tenants, and if you appear in the news it could become more difficult for you to find someone to rent to you.
|
|
#
?
Aug 10, 2023 15:57
|
|
|
Grip it and rip it posted:Do you have a new lease lined up already? If not you might want to take care of your housing situation immediately, before this situation accelerates any further. Landlords can be lovely about blacklisting people. They definitely have little websites where they share information about tenants, and if you appear in the news it could become more difficult for you to find someone to rent to you. This is 100% correct, fight the fight if it's worth it to you but don't be surprised if you eat a perma ban for your troubles. I'd recommend trying to secure an out before you start punching.
|
|
#
?
Aug 10, 2023 18:56
|
|
|
And keep in mind that the goal is saving lives, not winning your personal right to save the lives. You might be able to rope in local community orgs to do the thing you've been doing without burning your own bridges.
|
|
#
?
Aug 10, 2023 19:02
|
|
|
I envy you for having that spirituality. Chiming in to say you will be doing the right thing by yourself and others by working with other orgs as well. Things aren't so good right now, haven't been for a few months. Haven't really got much I can manage to say or write about it. Lotta ghosts. Just one day at a time will do right now.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2023 21:21
|
|
|
Just let us know if you find yourself needing to talk about anything anytime. I'm not military but I can start ranting so you got some white noise going on in the background, I can shut up and listen if you just need to vent. I can keep you occupied by playing games with you or watching Calcio Storico with you if you just need to watch some players beat the snot out of each other while a ball sometimes also gets to participate in the game and I'm always online during Swedish daytimes. just throw me a message on Discord (username serthvarnee) if you need it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2023 22:58
|
|
|
Really liking the therapist I've been seeing for the past 2+ months, but man is she expensive. I'm still looking for work, do employer healthcare plans often cover these kinds of therapists? Her website says she's an out of network provider but she provides a "superbill" to send to people's insurance. From what I've read I'm pretty sure the VA won't cover her service. I like the weekly appointments, but it would be like $6k a year out of pocket to keep that up.
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2023 18:13
|
|
|
Mustang posted:Really liking the therapist I've been seeing for the past 2+ months, but man is she expensive. I'm still looking for work, do employer healthcare plans often cover these kinds of therapists? Her website says she's an out of network provider but she provides a "superbill" to send to people's insurance. From what I've read I'm pretty sure the VA won't cover her service. Some do, some don't. The issue I found is that potential employers often don't like revealing the whole health plan, only that baseline cost chart unless you have already accepted an offer. That might just be because I only get chosen by shady companies, I don't know.
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2023 19:44
|
|
|
Feeling pretty lovely lately. Got a fancy masters degree from a top 20 program a few months ago and haven't gotten a single interview yet (though many of my fellow graduates haven't either....). Questioning why I even got an MBA sometimes. Program/Product management, tech startups, AI buzzwords, making number go up, are all extremely boring to me. Getting rich is not a life goal of mine. The one thing I would like to do with my MBA one day is run my own business, doing something that adds value to my local community. But I don't have the money to start a company right now, and definitely not while I'm burning through savings while looking for work. At least I still have half of my GI Bill left. Coming to terms with the fact that I will never again live anywhere near my 3 best friends, and only one of them has ever visited me and that was back in 2017. All of my close friends from the Army have long since moved away from WA. The ones that are still here are mostly of the generic Army veteran type, with generic Army veteran interests and opinions. I like the oddballs and weirdos that go against the grain. One thing that has made me really happy lately is learning to oil paint, I was very into drawing and painting growing up through high school but stopped when I went to college. Did (and still do) photography in my 20s up to now, but never came anywhere close to scratching the same creative itch. I have so much free time right now I'm looking into taking other art classes. Feel like I'm reconnecting with a part of myself that I've neglected throughout adulthood. In the past week I've gone through an entire pad of canvas paper and an entire tube of white paint. Kind of pissed I was raised as a military brat and moved so much growing up. My parents still have that stupid loving "Home is where the Army sends you" picture on their wall. What a lovely loving lifestyle. And when my dad finally retired it was to the cultureless void that is the central Florida suburbs. One of the worst parts of an already lovely state, in the shittiest part of the country. And then I just feel dumb for feeling this way because two homeless encampments near me were just cleared out by the city, and those people have problems that are 10000x worse than anything I've ever had to deal with.
|
|
#
?
Sep 16, 2023 18:31
|
|
|
Please remember that, while feeling better about yourself because others have it worse isn't useful or productive to anyone, neither is feeling bad about yourself because others have it worse. Throwing economic survivor's guilt into the mix of day to day issues you have going on is going to help exactly zero people.
|
|
#
?
Sep 16, 2023 18:50
|
|
|
Mustang posted:Feeling pretty lovely lately. Got a fancy masters degree from a top 20 program a few months ago and haven't gotten a single interview yet (though many of my fellow graduates haven't either....). Questioning why I even got an MBA sometimes. Program/Product management, tech startups, AI buzzwords, making number go up, are all extremely boring to me. Getting rich is not a life goal of mine. The one thing I would like to do with my MBA one day is run my own business, doing something that adds value to my local community. But I don't have the money to start a company right now, and definitely not while I'm burning through savings while looking for work. At least I still have half of my GI Bill left. If you ever want to meet up for a beer and talk about art/whatever we are just a ferry ride away from each other. Edit: and we did it! Crab Dad fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Sep 17, 2023 |
|
#
?
Sep 16, 2023 18:52
|
|
|
Mustang posted:Feeling pretty lovely lately. Got a fancy masters degree from a top 20 program a few months ago and haven't gotten a single interview yet (though many of my fellow graduates haven't either....). Questioning why I even got an MBA sometimes. Program/Product management, tech startups, AI buzzwords, making number go up, are all extremely boring to me. Getting rich is not a life goal of mine. The one thing I would like to do with my MBA one day is run my own business, doing something that adds value to my local community. But I don't have the money to start a company right now, and definitely not while I'm burning through savings while looking for work. At least I still have half of my GI Bill left. Look man I know I dropped out of college thrice, so I was in formation not in front, but it is the same story over here so at least don't feel alone. I just ditched my satellite communications and IT track for the same reasons -- and I just remembered my wife of 7 years chose me when I was making $150k on contract and $65k stateside. Now I made 15k this year total because I'm starting all the way the gently caress over with no college papers in a new career; but when I get bad about it I remember some of my coworkers are literally homeless and ex convicts
|
|
#
?
Sep 17, 2023 15:56
|
|
|
Dumped for the second time this summer. A friend has flaked out for a month now on taking our bikes on the Burke Gilman trail. He has a baby though so I'm more understanding of that. About the only thing I've accomplished this summer is regularly lifting, doing cardio, learning to oil paint. Which I guess is pretty good honestly. Was great meeting Crab Dad too, he's a stellar guy. As someone that had a very transient upbringing, knowing 100s of people around the country (or world), I would kill to know what its like to have "roots" somewhere. My cousin's girlfriend works for one of our big Seattle companies and wants to help me out, says she knows people in other Seattle companies too. So hopefully I'll start getting some traction on the job hunt soon. I feel like I put a lot of effort in to filling out my days but still have plenty of time to sit around dwelling on all the poo poo I'm not happy about. This stuff has been on the back of my mind for a long time, it's just now catching up to me now that I have the most free time I've ever had.
|
|
#
?
Sep 17, 2023 22:09
|
|
|
Mustang posted:Dumped for the second time this summer. Oh goddamn it. Keep ya chin up. When I get back from my work stuff I’d be down for a squid trip.
|
|
#
?
Sep 18, 2023 01:26
|
|
|
I'm done being crazy (for the most part). Does anyone have a discord link?
|
|
#
?
Sep 18, 2023 09:04
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 14:27 |
|
|
Really want to vent here, but it'll just get dismissed as "shut the gently caress up with your champagne problems" Feel like I'm living life by a god drat monkey's paw... Maybe Bedazzled(2000) is a closer comparison.... Everything I should / could wish for, yet its all somehow completely hosed and I'm still not happy. Maybe its just the bi-polar... idk
Arione fucked around with this message at 19:07 on Sep 28, 2023 |
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2023 18:52
|
|