death sext posted:

This reminds me of a story my pa used to tell when I was a young doh lass. There was once a young boy named Duane who used to live in the very place you do now. Every day Duane wore his hat the wrong way, until one day the Devil had enough Duane's sins and crawled up through the toilet to drag Duane down to Hell.

The Devil (read in a scary voice): For the crimes of Wearing Hats Immodestly, Playing With Nerf Guns In The House, and Grinding On The Handicap Ramp Rails At The Library Even After Being Asked Not To, I sentence you to irony

Then the Devil himself did indeed transform into a mountain. For eternity Duane must skate to the top of the mountain. When he reaches the top, the nature of the board with wheels carries him back down to the bottom.

And this, my child, is why we have outhouses.