AliExpress: I CAN SHOW YOU SOME TRASH

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > AliExpress: I CAN SHOW YOU SOME TRASH

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

AliExpress is a place where things are extremely cheap, usually, and you will probably get them (someday). Ordering anything from AliExpress (the piecewise sales face of AliBaba) is always a bit of a gamble, and items often take 1-2 months to appear. I've had things arrive from Singapore, Cambodia, and Russia, but most commonly China. Personally, I've had good luck with it, especially when it comes to small housewares, costume jewelry, and select electronics. This is a thread for sharing some of the better sales to be found on AliExpress.

As helpfully described by Wikipedia,

quote:

Launched in 2010, AliExpress.com is an online retail service made up of mostly small Chinese businesses offering products to international online buyers. It is the most visited e-commerce website in Russia.

Wow, not a lot of detail there! The gist of it is, if you've seen "Made in China" stamped on something at the store, especially something you think is overpriced for what it is, you might just find it on this site for substantially less money.

These mesh bags are useful for organizing closets.

These soda savers can be used to close off bottles.

These herb scissors make chopping herbs easier, especially if you have trouble with knives.

This collapsible funnel saves space while remaining a functional funnel.

These boot supports will keep your boots standing when in storage to help protect the shape of the leather.

Seam rippers are helpful for when you want to change buttons on an outfit and etc.

These eyelash curlers are nice for the price.

I've had good luck with these earphones, I stash them around because I am always leaving my good ones at home accidentally.

This precision screwdriver with exchangeable heads could be useful.

This hairdryer rack saves counter space.

These deck anchors are good for when you want to anchor things to a wooden deck without damaging the deck.

These stainless steel collar stays are for classy people who need collar stays.

This car clip for pets will secure your dog in the car using an unused seatbelt.

This tassel contains an iphone cord

Great deal on palettes if you're a painter

A stupidly good deal on water brushes for artists

A very good deal on Magic Eraser sponges, enough for you and all your friends

This type of glove is very helpful if you use depilatories such as Nair or Magic Shave, and the price can't be beat

If you live near somewhere you think your car may end up underwater, this safety item is worth the $3 to have next to your seat

Some acrylic painters like silicone brushes, if you are such a person this price is very good

This is helpful for cleaning your back in the shower

Glue dots are useful, get them here for cheap

Bag hooks for your car! And for less than $2.

This thing holds your phone AND looks like a spider!

These custom figurines of you or whoever's picture you sent to them (you creep) are supposed to be legit really good

How about this cat memo pad?

Cheap bag with many compartments, I always have one in the car, good for makeup and etc as well ~2.50

Carrying straps for moving furniture etc

Car seat pouch, actually for keeping poo poo from falling down between the seat of your car and the center console

Classy pens for classy signatures, cheap combo of three

Flexible curve for illustrating, woodworking, drafting, all sorts of good stuff

Cheap fiberglass tape

Adorable strawberry totes, make your friends think you care about them a lot more than 65 cents

Plastic bag carrying handle

These doohickeys are really good for fixing knitwear

You can use these to reattach tags to stuff, please use for legal applications only.

These remain unusually expensive on AliExpress, this is the best deal I've seen on them anywhere and I hate it when stuff boils over so it's worth a try

This type of brush is extremely good for applying certain types of pigment in craft applications, first time I've seen one this big

Hair-drying cap

Thermochromic pigment

Put these over your feet to mop the floor, good if you have a relatively small amount of linoleum in your kitchen/bathroom and a proper mop is overkill ~70 cents

This removes hair from drains ~40 cents

Collections:

quote:

THE PICK KITCHEN:

If you or your spouse likes kitchen do-dads for cheap, here is a list of cheap kitchen do-dads. The usefulness varies but the prices are good.

.50 This silicone basting brush

.19 Orange peeling zip

.78 Finger guard

1.00 Potato microwave pouch

.99 Onion holder for cutting (Personal fav)

.29 Dumpling crimper

1.00 French fry cutter

1.65 Mango/peach slicer

1.40 This egg timer is weirdly charming to me

1.20 It seems weird, but these bags really do improve your ability to make baked potatoes in your microwave

1.00 Grilled cheese toaster bags, another one of those dumb things that isn't worth the price in stores but for $1 yeah it's handy actually

1.30 Wiggle cutter

~2.00 (watch for sale) Silicone cupcake molds, 12 pack

.31 Bottle sponge

.81 Garlic grater

.88 Apple corer

1.30 Small stainless steel zester/grater

.86 Pepper corers

1.40 Cherry pitter

.74 10 magic erasers

.98 Fruit ballers

1.26 Silicone oven mitt

1.98 Stainless steel apple slicer

.65 + Reusable cling tops

2.00 This garlic press will allow your to press garlic for many years.

1.89 Fly umbrella

quote:

INEXPENSIVE JEWELRY:

Silver cat necklace

Fang necklace

Kitty above, in gold

Leaves and fake pearls

Geometric necklace

Music notes necklace

This necklace is classy and comes in three colors.

Elk whorls necklace

Nerdy seratonin necklace

My personal favorite (it's pretty in person) this deer skull necklace

This necklace looks surprisingly good in person

This hokey space necklace is pretty and comes in many designs

T-rex skeleton necklace

Red Riding Hood necklace

Turtle necklace

Snowflake necklace

Peacock necklace

Frog ring

quote:

GARDENING TIME:

These vertical planters are very high quality and I've been impressed with them so far. Received in 10 days.

These fabric pots are decent quality, and were also received quickly. Much cheaper than normal pots, and drain well. They're not stylish but they're extremely functional.

These small vertical planters work for a windowsil

This drip irrigation system will keep your houseplants happy at almost zero effort

Some seeds are good, some seeds are bad! Vegetable seeds are usually okay. However, importing seeds from China is illegal so they won't be listed in this OP. I bet you could totally buy them for small amounts of money though!!

quote:

STUPID GARBAGE NOBODY NEEDS BUT YOU PROBABLY WANT:

These magnetic ball toys can no longer be purchased from stores in the USA; don't give them to children.

Write your own music for this music box

Spice up a party with tootpicks that look like ants

This anatomical model is helpful for artists drawing faces and heads

Disappearing ink pen

These head massagers feel good, and at 60 cents it's worth a try

These gimmicky bottle cap launchers are fun gifts and guys I know have enjoyed them

your girlfriend wants this

cat purse

Decal of cat bursting out of your toilet

Pen that writes in UV reactive ink, and has a little UV light on it!

Highly-rated nosehair trimmer

Luggage tags for distinguishing luggage, 70 cents

Agate burnishing tool for jewelry and gold leaf, $1.20

Silver and gold leaf, $1.50-$3 depending on type, 100 sheets.

Cute toothpaste squeezer, 39 cents

Silicone wine rack, about $3

Loud metal keychain whistles for safety, 25 cents

Silicone nonstick mat/trivet for kitchen, about $1.50

Attractive leaf doorstop, about $1.50

Vintage-style metal letter opener, $2.25

8 neon pigments in containers, about $3.75 -- good for crafts

Stainless steel can strainer, about $5

Egg storage container for your fridge, about $2.20

Real bone bonefolder, about $2

100 rare earth magnet discs, about $1.40

Hand-carved wooden rice paddle that looks like a fish, about $1.70

Jump ring, uh, ring, which is used for fixing jewelry. 39 cents. Goes well with these jewelry pliers, about $1.90

Wall-mounted guitar holder, about $2.75, also very good for paddles, certain types of vacuum cleaner, etc. Very sturdy, comes with all hardware

Best bra-bag for washing machines I've encountered on AliExpress, about 80 cents.

Large silicone mixing bag, good for many applications such as mixing resin, $3.80 or so

Set of six strong stainless steel multi-hangers, $10.80 or so, which is super expensive for AliExpress it seems, and yet I've ordered these twice because they really do make your closet so much more efficient and easy to navigate, highly recommended

Whale toothpick party-pick holder, $1.10, extremely cute

100 orangesticks, which are the sticks used for manicures, $1.44

Amusing extendable magnet for reaching little magnetic things that fall into hard-to-reach places, 90 cents

Solid camera strap, $2.00 about

These toaster bags Pick thought was dumb and now uses all the time, 80 cents

:tipshat:

The prices vary on the day-to-day, but almost everything is perennially "on sale". There are many duplicate items available, so make sure to check that you got the best price/best provider combination. Definitely prioritize items with many successful orders, especially highly-rated orders. Check for feedback that contains comments also, as these tend to be particularly informative. Furthermore, in my general experience, it's the place to go for things that usually cost $6-30 in US stores. I don't know if I'd recommend ordering anything particularly expensive there, though there is a refunding process.

DO NOT buy capacitors on this site. DO NOT buy toys which may end up in a child's mouth. DO NOT buy counterfeit goods (it's a crime!) Buy with caution and a measure of common sense. Always check and see if there's a better deal on Amazon/domestically, and always make sure what you are purchasing is safe and legal. Have fun!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Pick fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Jan 5, 2021

# ? Jan 18, 2017 05:29

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 11:25

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

I like AliExpress but their tools are trash and anything metal probably contains a good dose of lead and cadmium. That being said, they are good

# ? Jan 18, 2017 05:33

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Blue Train posted:

I like AliExpress but their tools are trash and anything metal probably contains a good dose of lead and cadmium. That being said, they are good

Yeah so no different than the stuff made in china you buy at like a normal store

# ? Jan 18, 2017 05:38

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Bag hooks for your car! And for less than $2.

This thing holds your phone AND looks like a spider!

For $1.12, can't beat that poo poo

# ? Jan 18, 2017 05:43

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Pick is a furry lmbo

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jan 18, 2017 05:44

Invisible Handjob: Apr 7, 2002; by FactsAreUseless

I've gotten lucky with this site a couple times but consumer protections are horrible on it and I got burned p bad once

if I want to buy cheap stuff from China now I usually just pay a tiny bit more and get it off eBay and generally have a better experience

# ? Jan 18, 2017 05:46

Invisible Handjob: Apr 7, 2002; by FactsAreUseless

as an aside it's amazing how much China's postal service is subsidized that you can buy stuff like that spider thing for a dollar

# ? Jan 18, 2017 05:47

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Invisible Handjob posted:

as an aside it's amazing how much China's postal service is subsidized that you can buy stuff like that spider thing for a dollar

Yeah it's completely baffling and clearly economically horseshit that it works. For the time being I'm taking advantage of it.

My only really bad buy from AliExpress so far was a bad digital camera. Everything else has been good and eventually showed up. Common sense applies.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 05:50

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

I ended up at AliExpress while looking for a place that would custom print waistband elastic that said "sorry for party rocking" (don't worry about why) and they seemed like the only place that would do it but the site seemed kind of sketchy and I'd never heard of it so I didn't buy it. I hope you enjoyed my story

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:14

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

aliexpress is cool because you order an assortment of $1-$10 poo poo and forget about it, then a bunch of shady random chinese packages show up 3 months later and you're like hey cool it's chinese christmas :toot:

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:21

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Xaris posted:

aliexpress is cool because you order an assortment of $1-$10 poo poo and forget about it, then a bunch of shady random chinese packages show up 3 months later and you're like hey cool it's chinese christmas

this is exactly how to order from aliexpress and what makes it so fun

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Cubone posted:

I ended up at AliExpress while looking for a place that would custom print waistband elastic that said "sorry for party rocking" (don't worry about why) and they seemed like the only place that would do it but the site seemed kind of sketchy and I'd never heard of it so I didn't buy it. I hope you enjoyed my story

These custom figurines of you or whoever's picture you sent to them (you creep) are supposed to be legit really good

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:28

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Pick posted:

These custom figurines of you or whoever's picture you sent to them (you creep) are supposed to be legit really good

That's Not What I Wanted But Thank You

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:30

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Does aliexpress sell furry poo poo (pick will know this) ?

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:31

Invisible Handjob: Apr 7, 2002; by FactsAreUseless

Nooner posted:

Does aliexpress sell furry poo poo (pick will know this) ?

Sorry, your search ' yiffy ' did not match any products. Please try again.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:34

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

I order poo poo from aliexpress every few months and I got a couple of christmas gifts on there... a tip: look for listings with reviews that have pictures of the items. it helps so much, especially with so many duplicate listings like pick said.

I'm still waiting on some screw spikes for my jacket :mad:

I only had an issue with something being wonky once and I got a refund.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:34

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

The Snoo posted:

I order poo poo from aliexpress every few months and I got a couple of christmas gifts on there... a tip: look for listings with reviews that have pictures of the items. it helps so much, especially with so many duplicate listings like pick said.

I'm still waiting on some screw spikes for my jacket

I only had an issue with something being wonky once and I got a refund.

Yeah, the Feedback section is really helpful. Generally speaking, organizing searches by the overall number of orders is a good way to find items with a lot of feedback which you can check out.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:44

Rhombic Drive: Apr 15, 2007

I bought an FPGA chip that is normally $23 for $10. Don't know if it works yet but we shall see

Edit: whoa

Rhombic Drive fucked around with this message at 06:57 on Jan 18, 2017

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:50

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

Nooner posted:

Pick is a furry lmbo

lmao

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:50

Invisible Handjob: Apr 7, 2002; by FactsAreUseless

Roke. posted:

I bought an FPGA chip that is normally $23 for $10. Don't know if it works yet but we shall see

Edit: whoa

i should get a little bobblehead thing for my car

if thats is

i dont even know what the gently caress that is

# ? Jan 18, 2017 07:03

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

That reminds me of a story about a how a guy stuck a bobble head up his rear end. Like we were at the bar and he was drunk and was all like I just bought a bobble head online to stick up my rear end. A month or two later, he stuck it up his rear end.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 07:11

Lawrence Gilchrist: Mar 31, 2010

This thread is simple and clean and comfortable to post in! Thanks!

My school tested Chinese and American chalk and crayons and the results were, don't eat chalk and crayons. I can't be more specific because I don't remember so unless someone wants me to look it up I'm not going to.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 07:37

Invisible Handjob: Apr 7, 2002; by FactsAreUseless

Lawrence Gilchrist posted:

This thread is simple and clean and comfortable to post in! Thanks!

My school tested Chinese and American chalk and crayons and the results were, don't eat chalk and crayons. I can't be more specific because I don't remember so unless someone wants me to look it up I'm not going to.

anybody try sticking those things up their rear end?

# ? Jan 18, 2017 07:40

Lawrence Gilchrist: Mar 31, 2010

Gaunab posted:

That reminds me of a story about a how a guy stuck a bobble head up his rear end. Like we were at the bar and he was drunk and was all like I just bought a bobble head online to stick up my rear end. A month or two later, he stuck it up his rear end.

You know what to call someone who buys too much Aliexpress stuff? A baublehead

# ? Jan 18, 2017 07:40

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

You can get crazy powerful LED lights that will burn your house down while charging.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 07:41

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

I buy all my ingots from AliExpress

# ? Jan 18, 2017 07:44

cyberia: Jun 24, 2011; Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

dhgate.com is a similar site to Aliexpress and I've ordered stuff before without issue. Most stuff ships to Australia within a few weeks which seems better than the several months you guys have to wait.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 07:53

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

cyberia posted:

dhgate.com is a similar site to Aliexpress and I've ordered stuff before without issue. Most stuff ships to Australia within a few weeks which seems better than the several months you guys have to wait.

I've gotten stuff from aliexpress in as little as 10 days :shrug:

# ? Jan 18, 2017 07:56

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

By the way, I've heard that one of the absolute best things to get on AliExpress is fishing gear/lures, so if you have an old boring dad or granddad who likes fishing, you could probably drop $10 and get him the equivalent of a major haul.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 08:09

luncheon meat: Oct 11, 2007; Brendan Jones, 42, Bendigo

Pick posted:

By the way, I've heard that one of the absolute best things to get on AliExpress is fishing gear/lures, so if you have an old boring dad or granddad who likes fishing, you could probably drop $10 and get him the equivalent of a major haul.

I can confirm this. Have spent around $1-200 on fishing gear because it's so cheap compared to stores in Australia. $25 lures for $2, lights, hats, etc etc. So much poo poo my dad and I will probably never use but gently caress it's so cheap why not. You can also get cheap Xeon CPUs (albeit older sockets) pulled from servers. s771 xeons are easily converted to s775 so if you have an older PC and want a better CPU they're like $20-30 for a quad core. And those android TV boxes (get a S905 one and put libreelec on it) are good rear end media players.

DHGate is awesome because it has bongs and they don't seem to give a gently caress about counterfeit stuff. It's getting harder to find knockoffs on aliexpress but easy to buy some sweet abidas on DH

# ? Jan 18, 2017 08:25

RocketSurgeon: Mar 2, 2008

Things you should never order from china: electronics, batteries, anything that has mains voltage going into it.
Theres a youtube guy called bigclive or something who orders electronic stuff through ali or ebay and takes it apart and some of those things are pretty dangerous.

I ordered a cheap rotary table from india. Fingers crossed it will actually arrive.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 08:36

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

LOOK at these bargains!!

# ? Jan 18, 2017 08:42

luncheon meat: Oct 11, 2007; Brendan Jones, 42, Bendigo

Oh yeah large Clive is good. https://www.youtube.com/user/bigclivedotcom also check out this guy's USB charger reviews: http://lygte-info.dk/info/ChargerIndex%20UK.html

I had heaps of those cheap plug adapters he calls deathplugs (or something) and chucked em all after seeing him take them apart. I think I've only bought one or two things that run off mains and only because they were from the official Orico/Xiaomi stores. Even then I took them apart to check if they were legit (they is)

# ? Jan 18, 2017 08:46

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Big Clive is a hoot, and this is my favorite of his videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvOTiQKkQMo

# ? Jan 18, 2017 08:48

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Pick posted:

Big Clive is a hoot, and this is my favorite of his videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvOTiQKkQMo

I wish more random chinese crap had a button that made electrocution probes come out.

Every single item posted so far would be 10 times better with it.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 09:10

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

luncheon meat posted:

Oh yeah large Clive is good. https://www.youtube.com/user/bigclivedotcom also check out this guy's USB charger reviews: http://lygte-info.dk/info/ChargerIndex%20UK.html

I had heaps of those cheap plug adapters he calls deathplugs (or something) and chucked em all after seeing him take them apart. I think I've only bought one or two things that run off mains and only because they were from the official Orico/Xiaomi stores. Even then I took them apart to check if they were legit (they is)

I don't buy electronics on AliExpress. Ultimately, it's just not worth the price difference. I like saving money on small bullshit things, but frankly it's hard to feel self-satisfied about your purchasing savvy when you've been electrocuted and you are dead.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 09:16

luncheon meat: Oct 11, 2007; Brendan Jones, 42, Bendigo

To be fair you probably live in America where the price difference probably isn't too harsh but a basic microusb cable for instance will run you $20 in an Australian store

# ? Jan 18, 2017 09:23

MY PALE GOTH SKIN: Nov 28, 2006; meow

Invisible Handjob posted:

I've gotten lucky with this site a couple times but consumer protections are horrible on it and I got burned p bad once

if I want to buy cheap stuff from China now I usually just pay a tiny bit more and get it off eBay and generally have a better experience

80% of the time it's the sane stuff from the same sellers, so yeah if you're willing to pay the eBay protection markup go ahead

There's an app called Wish that's almost nothing but AliExpress stuff, FYI

I bought some gothy boots from AE once, they're awesome. I had to let them air out in the garage for like a week because of who-knows-what gives that awful chemical stink, but the smell is gone and the boots are rad

Don't buy makeup or toothbrushes or anything like that from AE or wish, it's fake and might kill you

# ? Jan 18, 2017 12:13

bollig: Apr 7, 2006; Never Forget.

It used to be that the shipping took forever. And I would order poo poo and completely forget about it. Also there's a crossbow/bow and arrow section:

https://www.aliexpress.com/category/100006138/bow-arrow.html

# ? Jan 18, 2017 12:38

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 11:25

bollig: Apr 7, 2006; Never Forget.

Oh man and there's a 'Human Hair' section under Health & Beauty. Normally I wouldn't worry about it but there's also a Synthetic Hair section.

# ? Jan 18, 2017 12:40

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > AliExpress: I CAN SHOW YOU SOME TRASH

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