Let's Play Apocalypse World: Pepe is real, and strong, and my friend

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > Let's Play Apocalypse World: Pepe is real, and strong, and my friend

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

I'ma have to read up on the rules, but this looks like fun.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2017 19:50

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 21:40

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

All right, let's give this a shot. I'm probably going to get something hilariously wrong.

DF Hunter, The News (From the extended playbooks)

Things used to matter. We all joked that they didn't, especially there at the end, but they did. I guess I never stopped believing that they still do, because I'm kind of an idiot that way.

The lies, and the alt-facts, and the alt-lies, it takes everything you've got just to keep any of it straight, and that's the point, of course. But that's where I come in. Sometimes I'm full enough of myself to think that's where I come in. That anyone still cares about the real god-honest non-alt truth.

Occasionally I have alcohol, so I think other things instead.

I found the paintings. I found the helmet. I found the money, what little of it there was, and man, who would have believed, even in those last crazy days, just how little there was? But there's more to find. Relics of a bygone era, stories that haven't yet been told, stories that everyone knows but everyone doesn't *know*. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find something that matters.

And then you'll hear about it.

quote:

Stats: Cool+1, Hard=0, Hot+2, Sharp+1, Weird-1

Gear:
* Silenced 9mm (modified glitter-gun, 2-harm close hi-tech)
* Wool Coat, Rumpled Suit, Glasses, Notebook & Pencil, Charity Tebow Helmet (1-armor)
* Presidential charitable donations (pennies & lint and a couple of garish paintings, 1-barter)

~~Studio~~ Newsroom: There's no telling what this shack used to be, except that the most interesting smells linger. But it's got four concrete walls, a printing press, and occasionally the generator works and the Alt-Free Press gets out into the world.

There's also a record player.

* Amenities: An NPC Assistant - KT Terror, a fellow reporter (DON'T call her an assistant) who keeps the lights on and writes biting editorials about whatever. (I don't know if you need more details than that.)

Strong walls (1-armor)

* Attractions:
Guests (well, guest writers at least)
Expert advice
Serial fiction (in lieu of radio dramas)
And I guess the record player and a bunch of vinyl

* Complication:
It attracts an endless stream of desperate people and you have an obligation to help.

* Connections:
Informants: McIntyre up the way always has a tale to tell, my conspiracy theorist friend Esskay of course, and then there's the old lady everyone just calls the Hiker. She doesn't say much, and I wouldn't ever take her advice, but sometimes she knows things.

Name Your Biggest Fan: KT, though don't you dare tell her I said so.

2 People You Pissed The gently caress Off: Judas Huckabeeus, the old fundie firebrand, after I listed everything he considered immoral. It was a pretty long list.

The other guy, I don't know his name but sometimes I get these calls, which is weird because the phones haven't worked in forever, and he just says "You're a nasty guy, you know that? You're a really nasty guy."

Look: Man in a dark blue suit and a wool coat, frank bespectacled eyes, slim body, calm voice.

News Moves:
* Breaking Now
* Rally To The Cause

docbeard has issued a correction as of 05:55 on Jan 25, 2017

# ¿ Jan 25, 2017 02:36

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

Or, I guess no PMs.

So, can I have a printing press instead of a radio studio?

# ¿ Jan 25, 2017 02:39

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

SHY NUDIST GRRL posted:

Lol

This is Hillary's fault.
Yes.

As so many things are.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2017 03:58

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

Maduo posted:

"I have to go, so long and bernie would have won."

This is so gonna be my dude's version of "good night, and good luck"

# ¿ Jan 25, 2017 05:31

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

The Throne Unauthorized Press
Editorial

Something Matters and Life Is Certain
by DF Hunter. Jan 28, 2024

This is a really stupid place to try to tell the truth. It's a really stupid time to try to tell the truth. I don't consider myself a stupid man, though I've certainly had people tell me otherwise.

So why am I here? Why am I doing this? And why do I presume that anyone reading this would care?

Well, you're reading, aren't you? Even if you're on the toilet and about to discover just how soft and absorbent newsprint isn't, you're still reading these words. Words set down with ink and type and sweat and a generator that maybe works one day out of three got from my brain to your eyes. And maybe, and this is the real longshot, maybe you're doing that because you want to know something real. Something that matters.

And that's in short supply today, mattering. The Combine wants you to think they'll have everything under control any day now, with their pithy messages of 3 emojis or less. The frogmen want you to laugh at and dismiss their graffiti. Judas Huckabeeus wants you to fear and worship his god of hate and suffering. And there are so many others. But none of them want you to think it matters. Because if it doesn't matter, then you won't care. You won't stand in their way. They all learned that one from the Master.

Well, here's the secret, and I'm gonna break out the special italic type for this one. There is truth in the world. Even now, especially now. There is truth that matters. And whoever ends up running the show, they're going to have to face that, if I have my way.

If you have a true story to tell, I will tell it to whoever will listen. If you come to me with a real question, I will do my utmost to find a real answer. If you have a lead on the legendary Third Painting, I'd love to hear about it. But mostly the first two things.

And if by some miracle the truth can set you free, you who don't have a banner to rally under or a slogan to chant, you who just have lives to get on with and needs that no one wants to meet, if it's you who ends up winning, and not some jumped-up petty warmonger with delusions of godhood, then it will all have been worth it.

BRNI ESSET PARTA

(Seriously, I know there's a Third Painting out there somewhere.)

# ¿ Jan 29, 2017 05:12

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

Squizzle posted:

which one of you do i figure is doomed to self-destruction

Kicking down doors, demanding names, and running at the truth head-first like it's a brick wall? It's a wonder I've lasted this long.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2017 04:01

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

My one and only HX question, for each and every one of you mad bastards.

Can I count on you to tell me the truth?

# ¿ Feb 2, 2017 04:02

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

Mayor Dave posted:

Are you a wolf of the maelstrom?

No, but I'd sure love to find out more about that.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2017 20:07

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

Squizzle posted:

still waitin for someone to jump on this grenade

Someone must document the story of the Skin Man, and it looks like yours truly is the only person left who still believes in things like permanent mostly-unbiased records of events.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2017 00:56