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Ceiling fan
Dec 26, 2003

I really like ceilings.
Dead Man’s Band
So get your rear end back to your room and put those decorations on! You're pulling extra duty and getting an LOR for being out of uniform! I don't care what the regs say, those aren't optional!



Anyway, my last couple of years in the Air Force were brutal. Long hours, intense workload. I'm proud of what I did, because it actually had a good impact. So naturally, I did not get a big, shiny medal at the end of it.

Here's something I did get a big, shiny medal for. I helped shovel my parents out of a major disaster area while on leave. Hard to do, and emotionally wrenching. By why did I get official recognition for achieving that valuable military objective? Those magic words:

"All service members in the Area of Operations..."

So share your stories about how you "earned" your valor. Someone needing to stack up some points for a promotion board may thank you.

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ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus
I fixed some broke poo poo computer while doing secret poo poo and got a medal for it. Go Navy!

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



I got my first nam in a group ceremony following an INSURV. Everyone is getting their full citation read one by one. Gets to me and the XO goes "to SN Nice for unSCREWing the paint locker." He then cracks a joke about how he wanted to say unfuck off of the microphone but shouldn't because we're topside and then they moved on to the next person.

Bolow
Feb 27, 2007

I got a CertCom for hanging out with Japanese orphans and having a cook out with them

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus
I made the Minister of Defense for Japan suck rubber and got an Admirals letter for it.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
I babysat a guy who outranked me but got kicked off his crew for being annoying and incompetent. Gave him a busywork project that should've taken roughly an hour...three weeks later he'd miserably failed at it. But that was three weeks he didn't bother anyone. He got a "definite promote" from the wing commander during that deployment. Despite losing his aircrew qual twice in the previous 18 months or so.

An achievement medal I honestly feel I earned.

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones
I got a letter of appreciation from a major for taking part in a honor guard ceremony.

Army strong

LtCol J. Krusinski
May 7, 2013
President Bush thanked me and my team personally over VTC for the AMZ kill. Then we got medals, and coins.

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
My CO gave me an honorary CIB (when I was an FSO) for blowing up some turds when we got ambushed on a dirt road :3:

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer

Zeris posted:

My CO gave me an honorary CIB (when I was an FSO) for blowing up some turds when we got ambushed on a dirt road :3:

Army poop story.

Bolow
Feb 27, 2007

Probably better for your health to jdam poop then it is to burn it

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit
I never did get a medal for jerking it in portashitters around the world. I feel like that should be some sort of award.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

8th Army CSM gave me a coin for giving him directions to the Burger King on post...

Got an AAM for kicking the Colonel out of his TOC since he wasn't on the access roster.

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003


I left basic training with 4 ribbons because Air Force

Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007

Grimey Drawer
I also left basic with 3 or 4 ribbons because BRAVE VOLUNTEER FOR THE GWOT

One time we had a training mission where we were infilling by helicopter and being the gun team, we had to run to an overwatch point and shoot at the building til the rest of the platoon got to it. The weapons plt leader got the bright idea to have us bring a 50cal(barrel already in and set), tripod and rounds to that spot instead of the usual 240. So we jumped off the blackhawk, ran 200 feet up some hill and set up a 50 cal so we could shoot blanks at a building for 2 minutes, then sit there for an hour before breaking it down and running back to the helicopter. I'm also pretty sure the 50cal jammed constantly during the limited time we were able to shoot.

I got an AAR for doing that.

Then on a deployment I got a coin with a loving spartan helmet and punisher skull on it from a CSM because we rolled our stryker into a water-filled ditch. Fun times.

MancXVI
Feb 14, 2002

I got a FLOC for fixing a critical piece of support equipment that i broke while incorporating a TD

bloops
Dec 31, 2010

Thanks Ape Pussy!
I got an achievement medal or comm ndation for busting drug runners out in the Dutch carrbiean.

Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002

by Hand Knit
I never got any awards besides campaign medals for deployments and whatever, but the government decided to give me a little over a grand every month for having a broken brain! That's pretty cool!

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer

Deathy McDeath posted:

I never got any awards besides campaign medals for deployments and whatever, but the government decided to give me a little over a grand every month for having a broken brain! That's pretty cool!

same :hfive:

Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

I scored like a 320 on the extended scale of the army PFT, I ran like an 11:55 and of course maxed pushups and situps and ended up getting an AAM for that.

But It's the guard, in an HHC company full of random stupid MOS's, where I think if you scored above a 200 you were like an army ranger in the eyes of the command.......

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
I have an army commendation that simply cites: "For outstanding service as a vehicle mechanic" before going into the blah blah highest tradition

I wasn't even a mechanic

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

My ETS award had as part of the bullet points "wrote an in-depth folder of PIR and constructed a special 'Death Korps of Krieg' HVT uniform for use in missions against Ranger students, which resulted in improved training for them."

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones

MurderBot posted:


But It's the guard, in an HHC company full of random stupid MOS's, where I think if you scored above a 200 you were like an army ranger in the eyes of the command.......

This sounds exactly like my reserve med lab unit(s).

SquirrelyPSU
May 27, 2003


I got a NAM for doing the leg work for a test fire RAM launch. It was cool as poo poo, but the test fire was a failure for circumstances outside of my control (looking at you, CTMs) which was attempted to be pinned on me for like 3 months.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

I know a guy who got a NAM for being animal control for a couple years in Quantico.

Also knew a guy who got a NAM for with a loving V for pulling a captain out of a burning humvee. The Captain got a bronze star with a V.

I don't know, awards are stupid, I got a Navy/Marine Commendation medal for stopping a box truck that probably wasn't a real threat but crossed the magic "you're dead" line at a high rate of speed.

e: also my Sergeant Major helped train the first Iraqi army unit and lead them in their first engagement. They retreated and were embarrassed. He got a bronze star.

Kuroyama
Sep 15, 2012
no fucking Anime in GiP
I got an achievement medal for doing base honor guard for over a year while waiting for retraining. Although the coin I got from the Command Chief for doing his retirement is pretty cool.

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer
I got a coin from general casey for standing around on tv showing him a Stryker with my sweet sweet out-of-regs deployment mustache.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

i let a sgt major borrow my kevlar and gear for a day and he bought me a pocket knife

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



I got a coin from a chaps for being honors boats at his retirement even though I was atheist as gently caress he and I got along. He had retirement coins made for him. 43 years total that started with army infantry in vietnam. Dude was cool as poo poo and only retired because they made him.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
I got a coin for literal B&E.

Terrible Robot
Jul 2, 2010

FRIED CHICKEN
Slippery Tilde

Godholio posted:

I got a coin for literal B&E.

You can't just post that and not tell the story, come on dude.

The Rat posted:

My ETS award had as part of the bullet points "wrote an in-depth folder of PIR and constructed a special 'Death Korps of Krieg' HVT uniform for use in missions against Ranger students, which resulted in improved training for them."

owns

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

Grem posted:

Also knew a guy who got a NAM for with a loving V for pulling a captain out of a burning humvee. The Captain got a bronze star with a V.

My dad was an Air Force command post guy from '69 to '92 (with a stint as a fuel guy on Titan IIs from '67 to '69) and knew a guy who'd been at the command post in Saigon when Tet kicked off.

So dad's buddy is the NCO for the command post and their watch officer was holed up in his billet while the goddamned Tet Offensive is happening in Saigon. The NCO grabs the other guy in the command post, grab M16s and a jeep, and go out into fuckin' Saigon in the middle of fuckin' Tet to grab their watch officer and bring him back to the safety of the command post.

The watch officer got a Silver Star, I believe. The two guys who rescued him did not.

Comedy option: They got Article 15s for not signing out their weapons and taking a jeep without authorization.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Terrible Robot posted:

You can't just post that and not tell the story, come on dude.

It was a "spirit mission" type thing. An old-school heritage item vanished and nobody noticed for months, because it had been stashed out of sight. Word got out that it was located at a base a few hours away, so two of us went to recover it. We knew what building and room it was in. The building was unlocked, the room was not. We found enough furniture in the hallways to get above the drop ceiling and get into the room. We then spent a good portion of the day with an angle grinder to actually remove the object. At some point, we heard someone in the building, so I went out to see who it was...I found some young dude who was probably an E-2 or E-3 in one of the back offices, and promptly questioned his motives for being in the building on a Saturday and whether he was really supposed to be there. He stammered and left. After recovering it and putting their ghetto display stand on top of their smoke pit in front of the commander's parking spot, we went to our contact/source of info's house...he was an O-5 stationed there. And when we got there, he was on the back patio drinking with the security forces squadron commander and the OSI detachment commander. We left out some of the details to avoid needing the "hopefully get out of jail free" card from one of our O-6s, and the fuzz got a kick out of the story. I'm not sure if that's my favorite part, or when I chased that guy out of his own office.

We got coined and got some patches from a group of 1970s era old-timers.

Godholio fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Jan 29, 2017

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

McNally posted:

My dad was an Air Force command post guy from '69 to '92 (with a stint as a fuel guy on Titan IIs from '67 to '69) and knew a guy who'd been at the command post in Saigon when Tet kicked off.

So dad's buddy is the NCO for the command post and their watch officer was holed up in his billet while the goddamned Tet Offensive is happening in Saigon. The NCO grabs the other guy in the command post, grab M16s and a jeep, and go out into fuckin' Saigon in the middle of fuckin' Tet to grab their watch officer and bring him back to the safety of the command post.

The watch officer got a Silver Star, I believe. The two guys who rescued him did not.

Comedy option: They got Article 15s for not signing out their weapons and taking a jeep without authorization.

I misread that as being your dad at first and thought to myself that you must have genetically terrible luck.

I'm picturing the scene in Forrest Gump where he's talking about LT Dan's ancestors all dying in wars throughout history, except it's McNally's ancestors all getting horribly hosed over in ridiculous circumstances.

bengy81
May 8, 2010
I was awarded three NAM's :toot:, can't remember what the first two were for, probably something gay. but my third was an EOT award, and of course, thats the one PSD hosed up and didn't get on my DD-214.

Needless to say that I'm utterly destroyed about my perceived stolen valor, however will I live with myself if somebody were to check my records to confirm my awards???


edit: I should add that the third one meant as much as the first two, but it seems like a standard award, so it's odd to me that PSD would gently caress up something that pretty much everybody separating from the Navy gets.

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

The Rat posted:

I misread that as being your dad at first and thought to myself that you must have genetically terrible luck.

I'm picturing the scene in Forrest Gump where he's talking about LT Dan's ancestors all dying in wars throughout history, except it's McNally's ancestors all getting horribly hosed over in ridiculous circumstances.

I do have a great-great-granduncle who joined the Union Army a month after his 18th birthday, was sent to a heavy artillery unit defending DC (a pretty sweet assignment), then after a few months was ripped from DC and told "you're infantry now" and sent to the 1st Vermont Brigade in time for Grant's Wilderness Campaign.

According to his records, he was promoted to corporal for bravery in battle on June 8, 1864, had court martial charges written up for him for "straggling from his battery and regiment without permission from proper authority" and for "marauding on the march" on June 13th. There is no record of a court martial, however.

And then in July or August he was sent to a hospital in Burlington, VT, due to illness. And then deserted from the Army that October.

Though he did get his desertion expunged and had the records changed to show that he was discharged from the Army, effective the day he deserted.

He and I share a birthday, it turns out.

Terrible Robot
Jul 2, 2010

FRIED CHICKEN
Slippery Tilde

Godholio posted:

It was a "spirit mission" type thing. An old-school heritage item vanished and nobody noticed for months, because it had been stashed out of sight. Word got out that it was located at a base a few hours away, so two of us went to recover it. We knew what building and room it was in. The building was unlocked, the room was not. We found enough furniture in the hallways to get above the drop ceiling and get into the room. We then spent a good portion of the day with an angle grinder to actually remove the object. At some point, we heard someone in the building, so I went out to see who it was...I found some young dude who was probably an E-2 or E-3 in one of the back offices, and promptly questioned his motives for being in the building on a Saturday and whether he was really supposed to be there. He stammered and left. After recovering it and putting their ghetto display stand on top of their smoke pit in front of the commander's parking spot, we went to our contact/source of info's house...he was an O-5 stationed there. And when we got there, he was on the back patio drinking with the security forces squadron commander and the OSI detachment commander. We left out some of the details to avoid needing the "hopefully get out of jail free" card from one of our O-6s, and the fuzz got a kick out of the story. I'm not sure if that's my favorite part, or when I chased that guy out of his own office.

We got coined and got some patches from a group of 1970s era old-timers.

That's a pretty great story lol, especially chewing out the dude in his own office. Thanks for sharing.

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

There are a lot of medals that I earned that I think I deserved because they were impact awards and weren't expected.

My Iraq tour though and the medals I am missing can suck my loving dick. Could have had two more but noooooooope gotta have petty catty loving people who hate others despite never meeting them.

So glad I'm out.

But I'm also glad about some of my medals.

My best is the Netherlands Shooting Badge (pistol) and my two silver schutsenschnur that are actually gold but who would have thought not keeping people in the same firing line twice for different weapons was a great idea.


Edit: German one is common. I have never met anyone who has ever had a Netherlands Shooting Badge. Besides the people who got t with me.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
If you're eligible (but missing) a campaign medal, get it. That can have an impact on benefits, job preference, etc.

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McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

McNally posted:

My dad was an Air Force command post guy from '69 to '92 (with a stint as a fuel guy on Titan IIs from '67 to '69) and knew a guy who'd been at the command post in Saigon when Tet kicked off.

So dad's buddy is the NCO for the command post and their watch officer was holed up in his billet while the goddamned Tet Offensive is happening in Saigon. The NCO grabs the other guy in the command post, grab M16s and a jeep, and go out into fuckin' Saigon in the middle of fuckin' Tet to grab their watch officer and bring him back to the safety of the command post.

The watch officer got a Silver Star, I believe. The two guys who rescued him did not.

Comedy option: They got Article 15s for not signing out their weapons and taking a jeep without authorization.

This story happened to come up in conversation.

McNally's Dad posted:

The officer got a Silver Star. Bob got a Commendation Medal.

As an end of tour award when he left Vietnam.

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