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FutonForensic

may your youtube video play for five seconds at a time and buffer for ten seconds at a time


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FutonForensic

May you be congested tonight, but just enough where it's not worth it to get up and grab the decongestant so you just lie there breathing 75% effectively

this happened to me last night and I need to pass the curse forward


FutonForensic

"enjoy your meal!"

instantly, my stomach twists into a knot. I focus all my concentration on any appropriate phrase: "Have a nice day." "Thanks." "My Compliments to the chef." my throat is gurgling. there is an inky sickness in it that is bubbling over and consuming me from the inside. it can't be contained. as my lips pry themselves open, I pray that I merely scream or vomit, and regret ever cutting in line ahead of that witch at the Burger King.

"you too"

tears drip down my face, off my chin, and into my Kids' Meal nuggets


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