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Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


May you always stand in front of a loud sigher at the post office.

May your post office always smell faintly of envelope glue and onion rings.

May your windows always be single pane.

May your neighbors be go-getting but unskilled amateur barbeque enthusiasts.

May your laundry detergent irritate, but not noticeably enough to switch, your lichen planus.


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Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


May your iPass always need to be manually verified going toward Joliet.

May your in-laws move to Woodridge.

May your pizza be lukewarm.


Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


May you always miss that one hair when shaving. You know the one.


Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


May your doctor always keep you waiting in a paper gown for at least 20 minutes.

May your room always be just barely chillier than comfortable.

May your mother always smile weakly when you ask if you're still her favorite only child.


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