|
Quotation dashes are fine, you big babies. Trust your readers a little, why don't you?
|
#
¿
Mar 7, 2017 18:02
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 23:40 |
|
|
Don't write origin stories, they are bad and stupid.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 24, 2017 14:56
|
|
|
Naerasa posted:After going through the query process with four manuscripts and not getting much interest, I'm wondering how I can approach this from a different angle. For this most recent manuscript, I had a couple of agents go over both my query letter and my first ten pages. I got feedback saying the pages were strong, and both the query and the premise were solid, but I've gotten nothing but rejections since then. Most were forms, but one did write me back to say this: "You write well, and this is such a great idea, so I am absolutely mystified as to why I am not getting that (somewhat magical, always unpredictable) "Yes! This is for me!" feeling. I'm sorry to report that I haven't quite figured that out yet--but if I do think of anything, I'll certainly let you know." Maybe your writing, on a sentence-by-sentence level, just doesn't stand out enough? Sounds a bit like your problem is that there's nothing really wrong with it, but there's nothing too special about it either. Networking isn't ultimately going to sell your book, you know?
|
|
#
¿
Aug 28, 2017 14:39
|
|
|
I'd say watching a couple of foxes getting it on is more of a leisure activity than research, you know what I mean?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 15, 2017 14:47
|
|
|
Deltasquid posted:So, two prose-related questions 1. This is mostly a matter for the ear, and rewriting, but reading and listening to poetry will help a lot. Also, think of a sentence as a display of information - what do you want to say? Work out the best way for the parts of the sentence to relate to each other and you'll have a better base to work up from. This goes for all the parts of a story or poem too, of course. 2. I'd normally laugh at these but if English is your second language you might find them useful. Still, if you want to describe a place, I think it's better to imagine the place and describe the things that make it different from anywhere else. It's not like the Mediterranean is olive trees everywhere. So, research and crack open the dictionary.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 10, 2017 13:53
|
|
|
General Battuta posted:I skipped like a hundred posts sorry but I had to say, in general, money should ALWAYS flow towards the author, never away. You should not need to pay for anything to get published. Maybe there's some kind of legitimate 'buy an audience with an agent' scenario but if so I've never heard of it. Yog's Law. MockingQuantum posted:What are your thoughts on paying an editor out-of-pocket? I worry that once I finish a book I'll have no idea where its shortcomings are, and end up shopping around a pretty subpar book when I could be showing off something actually sellable with some good editing. Yog's Law doesn't apply here cos you're choosing to spend the money, you're not being charged for editing or publication. Doesn't seem worth it to me, though. If you don't know what's good about a manuscript, you probably don't have the taste to write a good one. In general, I'm not attacking you cos you said "I worry..." and man do writers worry.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 15, 2017 03:06
|
|
|
Actually the second is the only one to imply any of Danny's thoughts, he's scared of falling. Second one reads like an introduction, first more like the middle or end. Don't know if the extra description is justified because you didn't say what you want the passage to do.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 1, 2017 17:24
|
|
|
sebmojo posted:Glancing over the piece as a whole, I really like what you're trying to do, art's great and the oppressive vibe works well but the language is very clunky in an ESL way and needs a significant rework. Yeah, you should decide what you want each paragraph to say, then rewrite it simply and cleanly. Get a native speaker to check it afterwards. And post the text as text, not artwork.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 31, 2017 12:17
|
|
|
Covok posted:I decided to try my hand at writing a story in a sword and sorcery style after I couldn't find a book the story collection of Conan the Barbarian at the book store nearby me. The mighty barbarian hero Sebastian.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 16, 2018 05:51
|
|
|
Dr. Kloctopussy posted:For example, searching for places that accept fantasy novels, there are 109 results, but only 5 that are recognized by the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Association as "professional markets." That doesn't mean those are the only "good" publishers, but they ARE the publishers you'll see in stores like Barnes & Nobles (lol who goes to actual stores anymore). You might find some small press books in independent bookstores, especially if they have a local or specialty focus. That doesn't mean small presses are bad! I've written a bit more about publishing, and the different kinds of publishers, in the OPs, too. SFWA qualifying markets aren't the only good publishers around but it's got nothing to to with whether or not you see their books in shops. The information is on this page; scroll down past the long lists of qualifying markets and you'll see that the requirements are paying a decent rate, having been open longer than a year, printing at least 1000 copies of a book/magazine, and not being a scam. There are small presses on the list. SFWA is an authors' association, it's there to protect writers, not decide who's a "good" or "bad" publisher. tl;dr Be careful submitting something to a non-SFWA approved market. They have a lot of useful information about not getting scammed here. It's Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, btw.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 8, 2018 05:52
|
|
|
showbiz_liz posted:Oh speaking of (sorta) - I just read About Writing by Samuel Delany, which I enjoyed and identified with a lot more than the last book I read on writing (Bird By Bird). However, along with a lot of really solid advice and interesting perspectives on fiction writing, it also had a lot more emphasis on ~magnificent craftsmanship~ than I personally care about. It's a great book if you're a serious writer. (And by serious I mean thinking about how to make your reputation; that's not a dis.) There's some discussion here. quote:I think if I had read it a few years ago, I would have found it more discouraging than inspiring, because it sort of dismisses 'merely good' writing as being fundamentally less valuable than 'great' writing, a stance I can't really agree with. What did you disagree with here? The distinction between competent and interesting writing seems pretty inarguable to me. showbiz_liz posted:This is all totally fair! And I'd still definitely recommend it. (It also made me want to check out his book Times Square Red, Times Square Blue, which as I understand it is about 50% intricate meditations on the nature of urban space and 50% memoirs of gay orgies in '70s porn theaters.) This is exactly it.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 11, 2018 14:30
|
|
|
showbiz_liz posted:I'm not saying he's wrong, just that I would have found it personally discouraging, for not-necessarily-rational reasons. Ah, fair enough! Djeser posted:Yeah imo from a lit crit perspective I can see the argument the guy seems to be making, but from the perspective of someone offering advice to writers, "writing isn't valuable unless it's Meaningful and your Opus" seems like not the best perspective have, especially if you're someone who's still learning as a writer and can benefit from practice. This isn't the argument at all; have you read it? He draws a distinction between "good" writing, which is clear and competent and "talented" writing, which gives the reader a compelling reason to read it specifically rather than the next book on the shelf. Yes, he does stress that talented writing is difficult. But that's obvious to the ambitious writers it's aimed at. And he talks a lot about the importance of not getting discouraged, too.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 12, 2018 13:02
|
|
|
Covok posted:I'm trying to use the description of how they're not really just banging but actually kind of being receptive and working with each other to imply that there is more there. You know, the difference between when you just f*** the s*** out of somebody you met at a bar versus when you bang your girlfriend and/our boyfriend. Please, never try to chat me up at a bar.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 17, 2018 11:40
|
|
|
More like Jack Reacheround
|
|
#
¿
Nov 20, 2018 16:40
|
|
|
Ironic Twist posted:“it’s” Don't do this to non-native speakers, thanks.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 3, 2020 05:48
|
|
|
If only one chapter is from a different POV, it is strange. You could make a pattern of deviating from your protagonist, so every third chapter is from the POV of dad or a different character, to alleviate that. Maybe keep them shorter. On the other hand, I don't see the "pay off" for the reader.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 26, 2020 04:36
|
|
|
magic cactus posted:I have a question: Feeling that your writing is "flat" and "by-numbers" doesn't mean you're showing rather than telling. The only "telling" here is at the start; anyway, it's fine to skip or summarise boring stuff; in another story, "They burned grandma's house to the ground and drove off." might be better. General advice: cut vague or unnecessary words and making sure the rest are specific and interesting. Of course the bleach is in the laundry room. What are the "reminders" mementos of? Try imagining exactly what's happening, as if you're watching a film and reading the characters' minds. First, think about the mood you want to create for the reader. Then, concentrate on exactly what the house is like: the surrounding scenery, where the kitchen is, the colour of the carpets. Then concentrate on what the characters do, what they're thinking and feeling, and what this says about their personalities and their relations to each other. (There's no emotions here at all, and they've just seen their mum/grandma die - no wonder it feels thin.) Make sure you include all the details you want, then write the scene and fillet it for the good bits. Here's a couple of questions this paragraph raises that make it seem vague: where is grandma when she dies? You imply she's in the car. Where is she when the house burns down? Why is the car running when she's dead? Why do they use all her spare petrol to burn the place, rather than taking some of it? I like to save this for a second draft so I don't get bogged down. When you have specific information you want to convey, use details and trust the reader to pick up on stuff. As Wallet says, you're already doing this: the characters destroy grandma's personal effects and car, stay to watch the house burn, and put the key down "face-up", plus you use "pyre" to imply a ceremony. You could explain why they're doing this before this scene ("They drove past towns of the damned, their souls chained to their houses"), as they drive to the house ("We'll need to make sure your grandma is freed from sin after she goes," said Dad) or in this paragraph ("They stayed to watch the fire consume the house and the sin blow away with the smoke"). Or more than one, of course. I wouldn't dwell on the details, though, because it'll make the reader wonder how a nomadic car cult actually works, which will probably distract their attention from the actual story... In general: think about why is this a load-bearing scene, and make sure you tell the reader why. If you don't it'll just be something happening.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 14, 2020 04:12
|
|
|
They might know the thing but not the word. Anyway, your editor or agent should know, right?Mirage posted:I've checked Google trends and discovered that, in the past year, "isekai" and "reincarnation" are running neck-and-neck in the U.S., but I'm not sure how else to measure the recognizability of a word. This can't be right.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 30, 2020 05:19
|
|
|
He became an epistle to nothingness and was sealed inside light's oblivion.
|
|
#
¿
May 10, 2020 03:50
|
|
|
Sounds like a bit of a Scylla and Charybdis here. If you don't carefully establish what magic can do, it might seem you're tricking the reader anyway. If you do, you'll imply that it's relevant and might give the game away. Also, what sebmojo said.
|
|
#
¿
May 18, 2020 11:07
|
|
|
ultrachrist posted:I read every day and I write almost every day. I do the thing where missing 1 day is OK but never 2 in a row. Three things I don't think anybody's mentioned: 1. Some word choices and descriptions are inaccurate or peculiar, e.g. the "weathered" clock or the mask with "hare-like" ears that attach to the side, not the top. 2. It's not a very interesting opening scene, in my opinion - I agree with Doctor Zero. An unnamed woman misremembers something at a boring cocktail party. Why don't you bulk it out, add more details, make it more consequential and emotional, tell us something about the protagonist, make her think about her failing memory, explain why she's so tired? This is a more-or-less contemporary culture, but a professional at ease wears bunny ears and wholesome means wearing a bonnet; you should be able to milk this for a couple of jokes or interesting descriptions. 3. There are a couple of times when the setting doesn't quite make sense. The first paragraph says that Val is presenting as beautiful today - does she sometimes present as ugly or frumpy? If masks don't necessarily show you what the wearer is doing, how does the protagonist know Dave and Rahul are smiling? Who's wearing a mask, anyway? Wallet posted:To give a concrete example of the quantity of words in here that aren't really doing any work for you (some comments in italics): Mostly agreed but don't cut the details about Val's story! Details are good! Just make them more interesting.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 21, 2020 03:23
|
|
|
Djeser posted:In fact, I'll just make a post about tenses in English since it's not something that usually gets covered in school, because English class sucks. If anyone wants to learn more about time in English (which is a bit broader than tenses) consider Teaching Tenses by Rosemary Aitken, which isn't a grammar but is useful. If you do want a grammar, try Swan's Practical English Usage or the little Collins Gem one. Doctor Zero posted:No worries. And yes, I agree on your point about tense. I could find better words than passive or active to talk about voice so they don't get confused. Is there a better term to use here? How about urgent/involving vs dull/relaxed? ultrachrist posted:I like comments like this. I feel like sometimes I write details and don't think them over well enough. Right. "Weathering" is damage from weather, and a clock won't have that. There are a few more details like this in the excerpt.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 22, 2020 05:14
|
|
|
CitizenKeen posted:Sorry, to repeat: I'm less worried about my novel in particular, and more interested in starting a general discussion about how to write standalone novels to be the beginning of a series. Not merely how to write sequels to successful stories (Hollywood is filled with unnecessary sequels), but rather: how to plant sequel seeds so that in hindsight, a story feels like the inevitable chapter, without having to market it as Book 1 of a Six Part Trilogy. I wrote some stuff about different kinds of series, but I don't think that's what you're asking. I think the general kind of answer here is not to commit yourself to anything in the first book. So: have a protagonist who has a free hand to go around doing lots of things, a reporter, a police officer, a spy, something like that. Include relationships and potential conflicts that you can build on later, but include space to raise the stakes. Use lots of background/setting information that you can build on later but don't have to, and in the mean time provides an interesting setting for your independent story. Don't make up the world as you go along. Have a plan for the series. If it's going to be long, make sure it's something that can still interest you several years down the line. Looser series like the Flashman books are the models for this. I mention Flashman because the first book spends about a third of the page count setting the main story and series up, and that's far too long; it hurts the novel as a standalone work. CitizenKeen posted:I've read that agents/publishers are souring on series from first-time authors. I think a backlash against series is due to long series with big problems: Patrick Rothfuss, Song of Ice and Fire, maybe Ada Palmer's Terra Ignota books. If so, the solution would be to have a rock-solid plan, to convince editors you know where you're going and won't bollox up the ending, and preferably have written lots of it before submitting, although that's a bit of an ask. Gene Wolfe had second drafts of all of the New Sun books before he submitted them, iirc. Ultimately it's a commercial decision, and there's no way for a new author to prove they'll sell lots of books. E: I don't have any contacts like Sally Forth mentions, and I don't know if there is a backlash, btw; but if there is, that's what I'd put it down to. Safety Biscuits fucked around with this message at 09:47 on Sep 16, 2020 |
|
#
¿
Sep 16, 2020 06:00
|
|
|
ultrachrist, hope I'm not late to the party. I think the issue in two of the examples is that they switch tenses without a strong grammatical signal such as "when" or a sentence break. Here, using past tense to focus on the events of the story seems better to me, but as you don't like that, you might try this kind of strong signal. Taking the "mid-August" sentence first, what about replacing "humidity" with a colon, or ending the sentence? Repeating the information immediately is awkward, and so's the "where", but then you might want to change the start of the sentence, which is a pity as it's strong; I think it really needs "mid-August's [something]" but I'm not sure what. Here's some sketches: quote:The earth labored in mid-August's clutch: the air dripped, shade offered no balm, and the thermometer read the same at noon as it did at midnight. I think the "ranch house" sentence has the same problem. There's the "at first, until", too. If you want to keep using present tense, how about breaking it into two sentences? quote:His ranch house lay a mile down narrow trails snaking through the pine forest, labyrinthine until you realized that all the paths led to the pond's fragrant shores The "not shaking hands" example is already broken up, and present tense seems more comfortable stating an abstract fact than concrete ones, so I don't see a major issue there. Just a nitpick: like kaom, I thought "we" might be confusing; how about replacing it with "people"?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 17, 2021 03:50
|
|
|
This is the past perfect tense ("He’d never [...] felt"), so the past participle "felt" is correct.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 17, 2022 15:57
|
|
|
Boba Pearl, a few things leapt out at me as I was reading your posts. Although you're asking for advice about writing, I don't think that's your actual problem.Boba Pearl posted:I’m doing a comic, but my problem is more of a writer problem than the art side of it. I’m having a huge issue where I can’t decide what I want the tone to be, and I feel like half committing to both is damaging the whole. Boba Pearl posted:I’m worried my main character doesn’t come off as likeable because she’s violent and manipulative. There's an issue with planning, as you say. There might also be other "backstage" issues - I've never written a CYOA, but maybe having the audience vote on who it would be about is giving away too much power over the narrative for little gain? But then there's this: quote:The biggest problem I’m having is that I want to have fun bouncy characters, but also have them be incredibly broken, violent people. This is a question about how you understand people. What is a "fun and bouncy but incredibly broken and violent person" like to you? There's your answer to the tone problem. You must be able to answer this before you write characters like this; otherwise you don't have a target to aim for. I only glanced at the beginning and end of the pages you posted, but it looks like Djeser's idea of a time skip might be worthwhile. You could use it as an excuse to take a break to give yourself time to think your ideas through. Something like this: Boba Pearl posted:I realize that there is very little natural talent, and most concepts you have to learn about them, fail, and learn more, to be good at them. isn't going to happen overnight, by definition. One thing you might want to try is making a better summary in order to work out what the important details you need to really focus on are. You could also join a writer's group. You have three big things helping you here. First, you have an objective measure of how interested people are in your comic: the number of votes and the amount of discussion. So you don't need to worry about whether people are bored, you can just count posts! If people like it without a lot of plot, that's fine. There's no need to second-guess yourself like that; have authority. Second, you're doing this free and anonymously; even if you give this up as a bad job, the readers won't be able to complain they were ripped off, and it won't hurt your reputation in the real world. It doesn't matter how badly you mess up; there are no consequences. The third is that the art and writing improved a lot when I went from the early pages to the last; and if that's not a reason to be cheerful, what is?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 15, 2022 16:44
|
|
|
HaitianDivorce posted:I've gone from getting letters signed by editorial assistants to ones from the EiC Congrats on your progress. You shouldn't think of a "rejection" as the editor rejecting your story; think of it as them not buying it. There's a lot of reasons the editor might pass on a good story: they just bought something similar, they're out of money, they had a headache when they read it which prevented them from appreciating it, your protagonist's name is the name of their ex and subconsciously turned them against the story... Editors are fallible! Here's an extract from an interview with Gene Wolfe: https://www.depauw.edu/sfs/interviews/wolfe46interview.htm posted:I sent a story called "The Mountains are Mice" to Galaxy; as I mentioned, I was very naïve about marketing in those days, didn't know who was editing what; but it turned out that Galaxy was being edited by Fred Pohl. At any rate, I got back "The Mountains are Mice" with a simple rejection note, which was the way I got back everything in those days. I was working from one of those lists of SF markets published by The Writer, so when Galaxy rejected me the next magazine on the list was If. So I addressed another envelope, sent the story off to If, and I got an acceptance from Pohl (who was also editing If!) with a check. His letter said, "I'm glad you let me see this again. The re write has really improved it." My point is, of course, that there had been no re write.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 17, 2022 04:08
|
|
|
It looks to me that this is written in images, but you want to write this scene in actions. So maybe try writing as many sentences as possible in terms of somebody doing something - i.e., with subject and verb. For instance, go from these images:quote:Rin under a cotton vestment. Feeling the iron chains tying her to the altar. to these actions: quote:Rin was lying under a cotton vestment. She could feel the iron chains tying her to the altar. Hope this helps!
|
|
#
¿
Aug 5, 2022 18:46
|
|
|
a friendly penguin posted:My default is to appreciate and be along for the ride of the story. It's only if I'm judging Thunderdome or I sit down with the express purpose to look for the scaffolding of a novel am I able to flip the switch. I had trouble seeing your problem here, cos I think that's fairly normal. Are you sure this isn't just imposter syndrome? But I think what you're getting at is you want to analyse at the same time as enjoying the story, so here's a suggestion: put down the book at the end of a chapter and make some notes/discuss it with a buddy - hitting a checklist (e.g. "what do I think of these characters?" each chapter), random stuff you notice, or whatever. Try to be as precise as possible to get the most out of analysis.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 21, 2022 15:36
|
|
|
Babysitter Super Sleuth posted:it's kind of a joke in the actual production field that for as much press as that book gets, the only movies the Save the Cat guy ever actually wrote were Blank Check and Stop or my mom will shoot It gets better: both those films were co-written.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 29, 2022 15:40
|
|
|
magic cactus posted:I'm submitting to some arts grant thing using an excerpt of a novel I'm working on, and I kind of realize I don't really know how to revise my work properly. I'm usually a "one draft and done" kind of guy but with this I really want to put my best foot forward and polish up the writing and mechanics. Are there some writer-goon approved resources for how to edit/revise a fiction piece? I'm familiar with stuff like story coherency, I'm more after polishing at a sentence/language level. For instance I notice that despite my best efforts I keep doing the beginner thing of like: I think other goons have given pretty good advice, but here's some thoughts on the process of revising. Try leaving the story a while before you do that polish, to help you see it from a new angle. As a rule of thumb, you'll probably want to shorten your draft as you revise it by cutting and rephrasing. Having a particular goal in mind helps - something more specific than "make this prose better", maybe "check there's no spelling/grammar mistakes" or "improve characterisation". Read it out loud as you go - this will help you spot clunky bits and try out improvements. Improve your grammar and vocabulary. Pay attention to what words imply as well as what they state - think about connotations and sounds as much as denotations and meanings. More specifically, about characters: make sure that what you've written reflects your idea of them and makes sense in context. I recently read a pseudo-medieval fantasy in which the hero discovered that the king was a traitor to the country, which makes no sense if the country is the king's possession and only means anything in a modern state. Also, pay attention to what sensual information the characters receive and when they get it. For instance, your sample paragraph implies that she only grabs the grating after she opens her eyes; that she doesn't notice the humming until after she stands up; and that she doesn't see anything until after she stands up. Also, "knuckles turning white" sounds odd to me - isn't it usually pretty much instantaneous? Maybe you could rearrange it along the lines of: quote:As the force gripped her and the world darkened, she grabbed desperately for something, anything to keep her safe. She caught cold metal - a grating? - and desperately pulled herself to it as she passed out... The idea is that she feels and hears before opening her eyes, and once she does, it's the immediate detail (her fingers), then something further away (the computers, and then the acceleration couch, but still just single images), and then she looks around and realises exactly where she is. Hopefully I've made it clear what she's thinking. Good luck getting that sweet grant  !
|
|
#
¿
Jan 17, 2023 15:39
|
|
|
ultrachrist posted:c'mon, faulker does the bear better: So the McCarthy is unbearable?
|
|
#
¿
Jan 28, 2023 08:44
|
|
|
SimonChris posted:The latter is a pretty big deal by itself. As Neil Clarkes points out in the article, the current situation isn't sustainable without changes. They can't ban someone for being a bad writer, so they still have to manually read all of these stories to determine whether they were written by an AI writer or just a really lousy human one. Also, keep in mind that this was posted in mid-February, so the latest bar only covers half a month, yet it is still more than twice the size of the entire previous month. The number of AI submissions has been doubling or more than doubling for the last three months, and if that trend keeps up that's clearly a big problem. But AI/ChatGPT are in the news a lot at the moment. I guess things will slow down in a couple of months when people are bored of the novelty. If not, submission fees seem super unlikely to me; some places might stop accepting unsolicited or new writers, but probably more places would start limiting submission windows. Maybe we'd see something else, though, like having to include a photo of the first page of the story in longhand. This definitely seems like bad news for new writers.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 18, 2023 17:18
|
|
|
Elephant Parade posted:Most of the literary works I've read only fit the first half of that rule—they change the reader's understanding more, but the state of the story no less. Jane Eyre, The Mill on the Floss, Things Fall Apart—these books are less action-packed than a suspense novel, maybe, but not than fiction writ large. I'm less familiar with 21st-century lit, partially because it's harder to agree on what it is, but what I have read (Bel Canto, some other stuff I'm blanking on) follows the same trend. That's a higher ratio of postcards to scenes, which I think is the General's point. quote:There's definitely a mode of literary writing that makes heavy use of postcards—The Elegance of the Hedgehog, maybe The Day of the Locust—but I don't think it's the dominant one. Agreed. Epistolary fiction is definitely less popular than it was.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 13, 2023 06:56
|
|
|
Robert Deadford posted:Here goes nothing, then. The novel is called Unregistered. It's a crime thriller with lower-powered superheroes as the main characters. Basically what others said. There's not enough emphasis on Susan, especially at the start: there's much more about Red Line. For instance, could you change "Susan is ambushed by Red Line during the break-in and forced to become a double agent...Red Line investigates a series of murders" to "Red Line ambushes Susan during the break-in and forces her to spy on Max and investigate a series of murders"? There are some plot points this doesn't explain, like THF's motives and connection to Pyro. Also, is the Register a physical book? Why isn't it an Excel spreadsheet or something? (E: If it's called Unregistered, you should probably emphasize this, too.) There is a connection between Red Line and Susan, but no mention of what this means for the plot. The final paragraph is phrased more like a cliffhanger than a climax, to my mind. Doctor Zero posted:- the Anti-Talent league is expected to be a result of the Talented, sure. But what *other* impacts would the appearance of Talented bring? Mutant/anti-mutant was done to death in XMen. Not saying don’t, but I would try to take the situation to places other works haven’t taken it. After the THF goes on a superhero-killing rampage, it would be interesting to see if having a Talent counts as a race for the purposes of the Public Order Act. Safety Biscuits fucked around with this message at 15:36 on Mar 19, 2023 |
|
#
¿
Mar 19, 2023 15:33
|
|
|
ActingPower posted:Only the last two are actually passive voice, lol. 5 is passive, and 7 is better analysed as an adjective if you ask me, but we don't need to nitpick, because... None of those "quotations" are in the story. 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, and 8 aren't quite right, mostly because parts of sentences are being described as whole sentences. 5 is a passive version of an active voice sentence in the story, and 7 is adapted from two other sentences. Lol at "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned", too. E: The first summary is also wrong in at least two places. Can't be bothered to do the Save the Cat! one. Safety Biscuits fucked around with this message at 16:50 on Jul 12, 2023 |
|
#
¿
Jul 12, 2023 16:45
|
|
|
SimonChris posted:Edit: I don't see the issues with the summary, though. Every point on the list matches something that happens in the story. The Save the Cat skips two of the beats but also references actual events from the story. It is not just making things up in this case. I was thinking of these two: quote:He finds solace in his decision and uses his experiences to help others in need, guided by his own convictions. The first one is in the story; I messed up, oops. But the second is a mistake because Father John left the priesthood earlier in the story; it's reading the concluding/summarising final paragraph of the story as narration. Which is a pretty impressive kind of failure, to be fair.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2023 15:32
|
|
|
There's nothing wrong with prologues per se, but generally I think Milkfred E. Moore is right. In particular, the point of a story isn't to promise cool stuff later. Also, prologues are a bit of a cliché in fantasy, thanks to A Game of Thrones and The Wheel of Time, I suppose. I think the issue with a "cold open" kind of prologue is that it works well in film, but not in novels, for a few reasons. 1. Films are much shorter so the prologue isn't hanging about and failing to live up to its promise for hours. 2. Films usually need less investment from the watcher than books need from the reader; just wait a few minutes and it'll be over anyway. 3. People usually watch films with other people, so they're less likely to skip because others might be enjoying it. Also, skipping is easy in a book but harder for a film. You don't have a choice about experiencing a film's prologue. 4. People usually watch a whole film in one sitting of two or three hours, rather than several hours spread over a few days. 5. Prologues are marked as different from the rest of the book; a pre-credit scene isn't marked so strongly. You can deal with 5, and novellas or stories don't have 1 and 4 (or you can make the prologue relevant very quickly), but 2 and 3 are intractable issues by virtue of the medium. I suppose the takeaway is that just because something works well in one medium doesn't mean it'll transfer to another. On the other hand, it might. No harm in experimenting.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 21, 2024 01:30
|
|
|
Whirling posted:People have commented that I should be more careful about my grammar because I occasionally mess up tenses and so on, but I'm not sure where/how to relearn the terrible English language after years of gaming and really dumb forums posts have driven its rules out of my mind. Don't stress about it. Best way for a native speaker to improve their grammar is reading books with good grammar. If you want to get more formal about it, there's a ton of books, mostly interchangeable; I'm fond of an old one called Right Words, Right Places because it juxtaposes the grammar with the rhetoric.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 27, 2024 15:57
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 23:40 |
|
|
pidan posted:I like writing in first person present tense. It brings the events really close. You can also just write thoughts and judgements like: He blocked the door. rear end in a top hat.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 28, 2024 13:32
|
|