|
just lol if your fantasy doesn't have 100 main characters at the start. and 2 at the end.
|
#
¿
Jan 23, 2018 02:37
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 12, 2024 20:36 |
|
|
Dadbod Apocalypse posted:I’d prefer this to be a unique premise that's what she's saying. there AREN'T any unique premises. billions of people have had access to typewriters and computers for hundreds of years now, it's all been done. The only thing you can do is put new spin on things with new characters and different combinations of things. so don't worry so much about "is this idea fresh" so much as "am i doing this idea justice by writing it well."
|
|
#
¿
Jan 28, 2018 22:21
|
|
|
sebmojo posted:Chill out, fellows, we are all good word friends here. gently caress, who called the fuzz?
|
|
#
¿
Jan 29, 2018 00:15
|
|
|
HIJK posted:Tbh that's why I don't join thunderdome, I don't want to screamed at and insulted over a badly written short story. that exactly why you need to join then. get yelled at so much that it starts to roll off and you don't fear it anymore... you crave it. mean feedback is the only honest feedback.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 29, 2018 07:04
|
|
|
Naerasa posted:I've been in a few writing groups now that have given me really great, pointed feedback that I've been able to use to improve my writing. Somehow, this feedback hasn't been mean. I don't know who told you that honesty has to be synonymous with meanness, but it's absolutely untrue. they hit me because they love me?
|
|
#
¿
Jan 29, 2018 19:01
|
|
|
omg u dolts that last line was a joke gosh dang get a life morans i tell people i like they stuff all the time
|
|
#
¿
Jan 29, 2018 21:50
|
|
|
the thing about doing stuff like that is, what's the point? I get really annoyed when i'm reading something and it's presented in the negative or it just didn't happen, such as "My eye almost twitched." it's just like oh cool, poo poo that didn't happen. tell me what else didn't happen. did you also not see any dogs? did your heart almost skip a beat? you're saying there that he thought he heard something...but he didn't. Ok? is thinking he hears flapping wings really that interesting? It's not to me. If you focused more on the "spray" (whatever that is), which is the ACTUAL SOUND that's being heard, it'd make for a stronger, more visceral scene imo.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 30, 2018 21:32
|
|
|
Stuporstar posted:The spray is from the fountain he's sitting by, which is context I didn't include in my post but is set in the story. yeah it depends a lot on context, i was just making a general point about when people try to get into somebody's head. i love writing first person cause you can say all sorts of weird poo poo and it's your character's fault 
|
|
#
¿
Jan 30, 2018 23:26
|
|
|
he really has his "butt on" the pulse (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
|
|
#
¿
Feb 4, 2018 07:02
|
|
|
all my characters are blind and feel their own faces to describe them.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 7, 2018 08:10
|
|
|
it was both his first day of school and his last day of being a cop. Just 24 hours between his retirement and meeting a cute coed who would change his life forever.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 7, 2018 20:41
|
|
|
true leftist posted:what the gently caress is this thread good for, not a single one of you has ever even kissed a book https://youtu.be/pTznIZhqnmA
|
|
#
¿
Feb 18, 2018 07:23
|
|
|
i like present tense for first person, cause it's like being in the person's head as they're experiencing things, and it forgives knowledge of a twist/unexpected ending, whereas a past tense makes me go WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT IN THE BEGINNING THEN. but that's being pretty pedantic, mostly it doesn't really matter if the writing is good.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 29, 2018 18:44
|
|
|
passive voice is used to write most of my stories
|
|
#
¿
Mar 30, 2018 03:29
|
|
|
|
|
#
¿
Oct 3, 2018 02:11
|
|
|
i was really confused for a second like "why do i need to do the boobs?"
|
|
#
¿
Oct 18, 2018 21:39
|
|
|
I dare you to put "shire"
|
|
#
¿
Oct 19, 2018 19:55
|
|
|
Nae! posted:so to say 'to take good care of' is a split infinitive?????? no, "to take" is the infinitive, and "good care of" is the adverb. to split it would be To goodly take care of.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 30, 2018 03:33
|
|
|
Screaming Idiot posted:Is there a way of hinting that a character is worse than what the story actually shows? The tone of what I'm working on is generally light, but I want my antagonist to be much darker than the rest of the setting -- he shows himself as the head of a Hellraiser-esque sadomasochist demon cult, but in reality he's the guy who assassinated the previous leader to co-opt the cult into ending the imperialist government the protagonists are inadvertently working to defend. Of course, while his objective is a good one: "I have to save these worlds from being enslaved and drained of resources and cheap labor." His way of going about it is less good: "I'm going to do it by tricking my stolen cult into building a giant cybernetic flesh-abomination to give this demon lord a vessel with which he may destroy the planet and everyone on it." make there be a huge disconnect in the way they talk about their exploits (all good) and the way people react to them. He says they saved a village from certain ruin, he walks through the village and everybody screams and runs away. He ensured freedom, he steps over a corpse he made to get there. what makes an atagonist scary is that they see their own actions as good and reasonable and right, while to the rest of us they're obviously hosed up.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 4, 2018 09:16
|
|
|
i find it harder to go from prose fiction to academic writing than from academic to fiction. like "gently caress i gotta use passive voice all up in this methods section and i'm screaming inside but active voice in experimental methods is weird and not generally helpful." or "oh i can't use a fun metaphor here cause my PI will cross it out." or "so many words i can't use to truly capture my feelings  "for fiction it's like sure just chuck all that poo poo in there and edit it up, though I have occasionally gotten some  responses when i use words that i think are more commonly used than they apparently are.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 1, 2018 00:00
|
|
|
|
|
#
¿
Dec 1, 2018 00:00
|
|
|
somebody good at plants, somebody good at bodies, somebody good at rocks, somebody good at driving
|
|
#
¿
Jan 8, 2019 20:32
|
|
|
anatomi posted:Is there a word for when you drop your smartphone on your face?
|
|
#
¿
Jan 18, 2019 02:22
|
|
|
Dolash posted:[“It's the royal forest! Her ladyship'll hang you for a poacher, and I'll catch Hell from Ma.”] gently caress that line it's boring, but the biggest issue i have when reading this sentence isn't the grammar so much it's the purpose. This sentence has 3 distinct ideas in it that would merit their own sentence IMO, and each of those sentences could be fleshed out to create a richer scene. they're right at the beginning of the story, so we have no idea what's happening, it's your cold open. What' you're trying to accomplish showing is: 1. He (maybe?) shot a deer in the royal forest. 2. He is not supposed to be hunting that deer (because his sister said) 3. He lost the deer. The problem is, this setup tells me absolutely NOTHING about your story, because none of this conflict you created even matters in the end. The fact that this is a royal forest and he was warned not to hunt there doesn't play into the story at all, and therefore is totally wasted prose that you could have spent fleshing out this character and who he is. If you boil it down, your story is about mercy and gratitude (he spares the buck and therefore the buck saves his horse), but 99% of the words are spent on other things. The reason he gives for granting mercy to the deer is "aw gently caress it," for no reason. Why does he decide to spare the deer? Why is he risking his life chasing this horse rather than climbing out of the hole and getting TFO? How different would his life be with or without the horse? (i.e. why does the consequence of this story even matter?) If I were to reframe your story and still keep the basic structure I'd open with his wife telling him not to shoot deer in the forest, because they're the only thing that keeps the forest monster at bay. but he looks at his kid, who is sick from not eating deer meat and he says "gently caress YOU, OLD COOT!" and packs his family's only workhorse. his wife begs him not to take it because the legend says FOREST MONSTER eats horses, and if they lose the horse they'll lose their farm. he says he has to provide for his family and heads into the forest. He sees the buck and takes a shot at it, but the deer gets away. Peter follows the trail of blood to the clearing and sees the buck kinda hosed up in the field, but can tell it was just a graze. he's about to shoot it again when the doe and a fawn come out of the bushes. the buck, despite being shot and scared, still licks them or whatever the gently caress deer do, and Peter's like "aw man, i can't shoot that deer cause he has a family and he's just like me cause all he's tryin' to do is take care of his family and he realizes he was a dick so he spares the deer and is going to head back empty handed when he falls down the hole, fights the monster to save his family's horse, and then the magic deer comes and saves everything. He cuts a big piece of bug meat off and loads up his horse to return to his family both fulfilling his mission and learning a valuable lesson about not rushing into poo poo without caring about the consequences.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 23, 2019 05:03
|
|
|
it's not a story i'd want to write but just trying to give an example of the same basic setup with actual things that matter to the story, rather than just a series of events happening at random.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 23, 2019 21:25
|
|
|
i can see why cell phones ruin all conflict because since we've had phones the world has been a great place to live and nobody ever fights. my phone definitely never causes me any problems
|
|
#
¿
Feb 3, 2019 22:58
|
|
|
is silence of the lambs one? because all the tension of that basement scene really goes away when she could whip out her cell phone and call for help or at least have a flash light.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 3, 2019 23:46
|
|
|
IANAL but the only point you might get in trouble with is if you make it look at all like it's official or sanctioned. putting "unofficial" in your title would help a ton.
|
|
#
¿
May 1, 2019 21:07
|
|
|
Doctor Zero posted:Despair is the true enemy of a river. Trust me, I know. i read that line like 3 times thinking "what the gently caress are they trying to say?" before moving on. now you have to write something with that as the opening line.
|
|
#
¿
May 9, 2019 23:40
|
|
|
ideas are a dime a dozen and mean almost nothing. working hard on a project and finishing it are the hard part, nobody's gonna pat you on the back for sharing an idea that you just had. This is a fiction advice thread, not a livejournal.
|
|
#
¿
May 17, 2019 17:43
|
|
|
Exmond posted:Let's talk about writing Third Person Omnscient. I have a short story (I'll post it to TD soon so you can critique it later), that is set in that POV. One thing that is bugging me is my characters are called, "The Doctor", "The Father" and "The mega-shark". rely on your reader's ability to keep an internal consistency while reading your story. if one char is talking to another, you don't need to say poo poo very often. people will understand it's ping-ponging. i tried to rewrite your paragraph but was super loving confused as to what was happening. he leaves to get a glass of water then sees the dad? who was he talking to and who took the bill?
|
|
#
¿
May 17, 2019 22:45
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 12, 2024 20:36 |
|
|
omg It was hard for me to accept your free advice that I asked for because some of your letters were too small. Feel free to ignore this sarcastic reply; I haven't published any fiction.
|
|
#
¿
May 31, 2019 16:15
|
|