Terrible Awful Games: it's either bees and porn or crypto and NFTs

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Terrible Awful Games: it's either bees and porn or crypto and NFTs

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ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Shinku ABOOKEN posted:

I noticed the people reviewing the game all had at least 1400+ games each

Do they just buy everything that shows up in their feeds or something?

Nobody ever buys just one hentai game.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2019 16:13

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# ¿ May 6, 2024 04:58

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

The worst people on Steam would flip their poo poo every time a game ended up in a tier they didn't like.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2019 06:19

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Mokinokaro posted:

They basically run themselves close to the red line or just below it and hope the game release saves them.

Isn't that how most studios operate?

# ¿ Mar 10, 2019 05:26

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

I was hoping for no terrible anime games in my recommendations today, but I got Trap Shrine instead.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2019 19:36

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

You have a drunk friend

quote:

What will you play if you have a very drunk friend? A warm hearted angel? Or an evilbad guy？You may find answer in this fun weird game. Try exploring in the room and figure out how to sober up your friend, may it's not only just one solution,though,never hurt friend,and never do evil!

# ¿ Apr 9, 2019 15:01

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

JermaSlots

quote:

Ever wanted to step in the compact shoes of everyone's favorite TWITCH streamer, Jerma985 and spend your hard earned BIG BITS on a slot machine? Well now is your chance!

No way this doesn't belong here.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2019 00:24

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Rebel Blob posted:

So I ran across Subverse on Steam, I don't even know how to describe it.

Okay, that's a lie. It's a bizarrely ambitious porny take on Mass Effect that's way to tryhard with its writing.

quote:

A female cyborg performs fellatio on a bald man who wears panties on his head

A stunning femme fatale engages in passionate consensual sex with a human male whilst her giant knockers bounce sensually up and down in front of the camera

A psychotic pirate queen dominates a poor smuggler by grinding her buttocks on his crotch whilst gripping his member with her cute heart-shaped tail

Whilst walking past the Laboratory, the player can hear sexually suggestive moans coming from within as a bipedal alien stud called Bulgetto pleasures your Chief Science Officer. There is nothing you can do about this, so don't even try.

An enigmatic alien known only as Chodestool will engage in doggystyle copulation with various crew members if you forget to feed him

A stoned engineer called Dallick proudly lets his tiny penis hang loose as he parades around your ship in a lurid display of free-spirited expression

An enemy faction called the FuccBotts employs spaceships that are shaped like fluorescent dildos in order to ram and destroy their opponents. These FuccBots are considered extremely dangerous.

The FuccBotts can also deploy ground troops who are robotic soldiers equipped with large sex toys in place of their arms. They will use these sex toys to hit you over the head. Approach with caution.

A crazed German man moans suggestive words as part of a track on the game's soundtrack. We could not stop him in time.

If you are sensitive to any of the above topics we strongly advise caution before playing this game.

quote:

Whilst walking past the Laboratory, the player can hear sexually suggestive moans coming from within as a bipedal alien stud called Bulgetto pleasures your Chief Science Officer. There is nothing you can do about this, so don't even try.

Yeah.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2019 02:43

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Eczema Angel Orifice

quote:

the only game that will turn you into a woman

# ¿ Apr 18, 2019 15:15

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

3D Custom Lady Maker

I really want to know what I've done to make Steam think that I want to see things like this.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2019 17:37

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Tamba posted:

Steam tells you why it recommened you a game
(probably because it's tagged singleplayer, and you've played/liked a singleplayer game recently...)

quote:

Is this game relevant to you?
This game doesn't look like other things you've played in the past. As such we don't have much information on whether or not you might be interested in it.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2019 18:51

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Getting tagged as "adults only" is a pretty high bar to clear.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2019 21:25

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

The vast majority of people running companies have absolutely no idea what they're doing.

# ¿ May 3, 2019 02:21

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Well not literally. They might be liable for something if they did.

# ¿ May 3, 2019 02:48

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Omey Salvi's Sunscreen

quote:

This game is weird.

You are a unicorn in space. You poop rainbows. You shoot lasers from your eyes. You want to - no, HAVE TO, kill other unicorns. Every time you kill a unicorn, an audio clip of advice plays. That advice is what I wrote for myself, to get me through my own mistakes. You have 7 minutes (420 seconds...hehehehe) to kill as many unicorns as possible. There is a leaderboard.

This game is a homage to Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen)".

Again, this game is weird. I don't know why I made this.

FAQ:

q. This is so self indulgent and pretentious.
a. No ish Sherlock.

q. This shouldn't be on steam!
a. Thank you for your feedback

q. Why is this paid and not free?
a. To support my cigarettes and energy drinks addiction - live fast, die young!

q. Who the hell do you think you are?
a. billionaire, philanthropist, playboy.

q. Will you marry me?
a. yes

# ¿ May 3, 2019 04:20

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Blood 'n Bikinis

quote:

Save the world and find the girl of your dreams among 8 hot candidates in this sexy 'zombie invasion' style RPG/Simulation adventure!

From the screenshots it involves a mechanism called "obedience points", which I'm perfectly happy not understanding in depth.

# ¿ May 18, 2019 01:30

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

# ¿ May 18, 2019 22:12

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

FirstAidKite posted:

Is this real

Would you believe me if I said no?

The White Dragon posted:

I don't necessarily disagree with her, but I wouldn't say it like that.

# ¿ May 19, 2019 01:22

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

haldolium posted:

no nudity

God willing.

# ¿ May 19, 2019 21:37

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Lodin posted:

As far as I can tell there's not a single mention on their page of what the gig pays. It doesn't.

Yeah, but think of the exposure.

# ¿ May 24, 2019 15:28

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

PiiSim

quote:

ABOUT THIS GAME
This game with absurd humor. Pee in the toilet, break the toilet, washing machine, make a hole in the wall, piss the police, destroy the city.

MATURE CONTENT DESCRIPTION
The developers describe the content like this:

Game play implies urinating on objects.
There are subjects implying "meaning" the presence of sex. However, nothing can be seen.

All that would be enough to post it here, but the thing that really sends this over the edge is the thirteen minute trailer.

(Yes, of course it ended up in my recommendations. Apparently that's what I get for playing games tagged "indie" and "action".)

# ¿ May 27, 2019 17:10

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

RazzleDazzleHour posted:

also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vo3tlryGa0

I really didn't expect that trailer to go that way.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2019 01:13

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Rotten Red Rod posted:

Terrible Awful Games: If you can't spare that, I doubt your love of feet.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2019 00:09

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

AngryRobotsInc posted:

Choice of Robots looks like exactly my jam.

Choice of Robots is a very good game. It's in a bundle with two other games written by the same guy, and they're definitely worth a look.

The greatest CYOA game, though, is Neighbourhood Necromancer.

# ¿ Jun 24, 2019 15:05

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Jippa posted:

Is the steam sale supposed to be today?

Yeah, 10 AM PST. Should be great discounts on a lot of crap that you'd have to be crazy to buy and even crazier to play.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 15:39

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/skinnyghost/status/1145845608617394176

I have no reason to think that Mordhau is a terrible game but this definitely belongs here.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2019 15:23

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

It's really unfortunate that so many gaming companies don't seem to understand that there's more to market research than just reading Reddit threads.

# ¿ Jul 3, 2019 04:40

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Stay! Stay! Democratic People's Republic of Korea!

quote:

Try and navigate your way through one of the world's most tightly controlled dictatorships, with two cute soldiers by your side. Avoid getting shot, executed, black-bagged, or tried for treason as you explore Pyongyang's most famous tourist attractions.

# ¿ Jul 4, 2019 18:46

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Jamfrost posted:

More anime: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1096430/HUNTER/

quote:

MATURE CONTENT DESCRIPTION
The developers describe the content like this:

Warning: Rude dialogues and women often little dressed or undressed!

Oh no, not rude dialogues.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2019 21:16

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

I had Adults Only content on for a while. It's like the hentai games you see anyway, but worse.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2019 20:36

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

New Zealand Virtual Debating Chamber

quote:

New Zealand Parliament�s Virtual Debating Chamber (VDC) is a Virtual Reality experience that takes you on a guided exploration of the heart of New Zealand's legislature. It is captured through Photogrammetry and 3D scanning for an immersive and interactive experience.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2019 15:24

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

I'm almost afraid to ask, but here goes:

What exactly are they parodying?

# ¿ Jul 30, 2019 05:27

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Hentai - Area 51

# ¿ Aug 17, 2019 18:52

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Hacked: Hentai prison

quote:

What happens if you spend the whole day locked up and masturbate the code? That's right, you'll go crazy! Now you see the whole world in binary code, but the only thing that connects you to the real world is hentai!

quote:

Is this game relevant to you?
Because you've played games tagged:

Indie Casual Adventure

# ¿ Aug 21, 2019 01:27

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1109130/3/

I have no idea if this is a terrible game or not, but the DLC being $390 worth of in-game items seems like a bit of a red flag.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2019 02:05

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Barry Convex posted:

apparently licensed by KFC

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1121910/I_Love_You_Colonel_Sanders_A_Finger_Lickin_Good_Dating_Simulator/

KFC is listed as the publisher.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2019 14:51

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Doc Hawkins posted:

"This product is in your discovery queue because it is has positive user reviews"

e: i really wish i could embed that trailer; it shows a lot of gameplay! but apparently chinese youtube folks are on the case

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQyinLPb-kM

If that were in English I'd definitely at least add it to my wishlist.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2019 01:23

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Foreskin Fury

quote:

Fight to the death in Foreskin Fury, a multiplayer online game in which each player controls a unique penis on the path to genital domination.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2019 05:35

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Haven't seen either of those in my queue yet so I got that going for me.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2019 00:02

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Jamfrost posted:

Amazing graphics: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1089100/Power_Block/

quote:

MATURE CONTENT DESCRIPTION
The developers describe the content like this:

This game does include the use of strong, mature language.

Somehow I think that only one of those adjectives is actually right.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2019 16:06

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# ¿ May 6, 2024 04:58

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

The first Garfield Kart isn't that bad. It's not going to win any awards for being innovative or fresh, but for what it is it's pretty solid.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2019 16:01

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Terrible Awful Games: it's either bees and porn or crypto and NFTs

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