FirstAidKite posted:

FirstAidKite posted:

Accurate


E: except atelier looks good imo

Palpek posted:

It's 2017 and Castle Werewolf 3D is here.




This game has everything. Not an Imperial Eagle:



Fat not Nazis:



Bad Rats:



Not Nazi orcs:



Everything's fine, why are you asking:



Somebody page the retro FPS games thread.

The White Dragon posted:

Fun fact, Disney actually did produce a working Wreck-It Ralph cabinet to promote the film in Japan.

Palpek posted:

This actually makes me imagine an adventure game where a murder is commited and you're stuck in one room with a variety of characters and the plot thickens every time the next person dies. It was probably done before though.

The Colonel posted:

Quest For Glory II posted:

I'm not familiar with that Mission Impossible parody

Quest For Glory II posted:

she looks like she's about to fall over on her own you don't need to push

Escape Goat posted:

Literally using violence to remove women's clothes.

HMS Beagle posted:

Heart's Medicine is a treasure.

Warboot posted:

Banzai Pecan

Xelkelvos posted:

Needs a You Died at the end of it.

FirstAidKite posted:

That game looks pretty bad yea-



GOD DAMMIT

FirstAidKite posted:

That game looks pretty bad yea-



GOD DAMMIT

Antivehicular posted:

I give up: what's the difference between "Prostitute" and "Working?" Which side of the transaction you're on?

FirstAidKite posted:

You guys didn't convince me of poo poo, I saw "go piss now" and immediately just went "No. No no no! I refuse! No!" and closed out and played a different badly written rpgmaker game called Finding Hope instead.

catlord posted:

It also has an unconditional return policy!

Alien Rope Burn posted:

The same is true on the Steam version, all collecting flags does is increment one of your progress counts on your pause screen - the game has no Steam achievements. About the best that can be said about collecting flags is doing so saves your game, so that can be useful. I don't think there are even any unlocks tied to getting them all.

The scuttlebutt I heard is that the dev team was forced to put a collectible in by Ubisoft, and hated doing so, so they did it in an amazingly way and called it a day.

Palpek posted:

Games&Girls





Haha, is that an actual Xbox controller complete with the logo? Does Microsoft know about thi...holy poo poo here's a cropped part of one of the top user screenshots (featuring a sex scene):





Valve, could you at least get pedo games off Steam? loving hell.

Red Bones posted:

I don't get the hype Fez seemed to get before its release, it's a pretty standard puzzle platformer that also has like, ten really esoteric puzzles completely mechanically unrelated to the rest of the game, which results in a very weird difficulty curve. Even by the standards of its contemporaries it's a lot weaker as a game imo than, say, Bastion. Was the indie market so weak in 2012 that Fez was that great by comparison? I don't remember.

CommissarMega posted:

"whacking off the eroge market"

New thread title?

ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:

Well this is something.

Wamdoodle posted:

What if you saw your own head off with a dull hacksaw? I image it would be QUITE painful.

FirstAidKite posted:

The game of Live is hard to play.

I'm gonna lose it anyway.

Anil Dasharez0ne posted:

https://twitter.com/MallowyGoodness/status/921718275830173696

(I have no idea what game that is but there's a whole thread of screencaps if you click through. Highlights include a dedicated "sorry" button and a catgirl saying she loves sand "for reasons I can and cannot tell you about.")

Psychedelicatessen posted:

The guy in panel 5 says "I am going to punch you (if you continue with the piss stuff)". The GM continues with a piss troll and he gets punched.

FirstAidKite posted:

No.

I am putting my foot down.

I know that I stream awful games but there is absolutely nothing I could ever do to make a stream even the least bit entertaining if I'm using a game that is so unabashedly shameless in its gloating about its own pedophilia.

FirstAidKite posted:

Seriously though that game was just a bunch of fetch quests. Literally just the cartoon network summer camp resort flash games of yore but instead of having to find random adhesive objects to stuff into a leaking pipe so that you can stop the leaks and fill up the pool, you're buying a $25 banana from a clown so that you can trade it to a monkey for a broken helmet that you give to a guy who fixes broken things so you get a fixed helmet so you can give it to some lady whose helmet was stolen by aforementioned monkey so that you can get boobs to trade for $100 so that you can purchase some SoberUp drink from the vending machine you fixed by calling a vending machine service number you found in someone's backyard and give the SoberUp to a hungover dude so that he can give you something etc etc etc

FirstAidKite posted:

i'm not

McSpanky posted:

I bet they all have crypto miners embedded in them.

megane posted:

Bug report: logged in to find myself transformed into a hideous abomination.

OutOfPrint posted:

I think they would inadvertently write something like Jerry Lee Lewis's Great Balls of Fire, which is a cute song about sex at first, but then learn it's all about Lewis wanting to bang his 13 year old niece.

Subjunctive posted:

Sure, it was written by his biographer.