Terrible Awful Games: it's either bees and porn or crypto and NFTs

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Terrible Awful Games: it's either bees and porn or crypto and NFTs

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SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Oh, I should install it. Grabbed it in the winter sale.

They already have another game lined up: "Zombie Ballz now on Steam Greenlight"

# ¿ Feb 8, 2017 03:36

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 22:45

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Fantastic it is...
...
Jesus!

There's voice acting in the last image. Someone (is that a time-travelling Hitler?) repeats "You keep messing up my traps!"

# ¿ Feb 8, 2017 14:33

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Does Haydee have gameplay? Outside of T&A it looks like something people would hand out on Desura free of charge.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2017 13:07

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

I'll be examining this. I hope it isn't Chris's manhood.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2017 16:23

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Too Shy Guy posted:

Long before the Greenlight gates opened, even before Steam supported user reviews, a little first-person puzzler called Twin Sector held sway as one of the lowest-rated games on the platform by Metacritic. I've had it sitting around for years at this point, and I'm finally giving it a chance. Turns out the six and a half minute intro sets the tone pretty well.

Then you get into the game and huck barrels at things.

And solve clever puzzles like "where is the other button for this elevator".

I'm not holding out much hope for anything at this point.

Twin Sector is not featured in the game, by the way. It's an area you learn about in the ending.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2017 14:15

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Mokinokaro posted:

Also the second Lara Bow game.

And the first one.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2017 12:30

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

UWBW posted:

http://store.steampowered.com/app/393430/

So, Ice Lakes is a game where you fish. You sit and fish and that's it. You know how in some games there's a fishing "minigame" where you put your line down and wait till the game screams "press A!" in your face, and then you press it, and you have a fish? This is that.

People seem to like it. A friend and I bought it for a dollar last night via a humble bundle, and it's... well, it's fishing.

I have some gameplay footage sitting on my computer I can edit down to a manageable video, but, would something like this qualify for this thread? I honestly can't decide. The execution is... fine, but the whole premise seems deeply misguided.

You mean it's a just like a free game called Pro Pilkki 2?
http://kalassa.net/propilkki/in-english/download/
http://kalassa.net/propilkki/screenshots/

Heh
http://steamcommunity.com/app/393430/discussions/0/361787186421416502/

# ¿ Apr 22, 2017 18:27

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Ainsley McTree posted:

I wonder how long until there's just straight up no-pretext hentai on steam. They're so close to the line that they might as just loving well go over and be done with it already nothing matters anymore

You'd be surprised what kind of game can get a PEGI 3 rating.

# ¿ May 30, 2017 19:04

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Humphreys posted:

What happened to that poster that did videos of terrible games on youtube? I miss those.

You'll have to be more specific.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2017 17:55

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Light Gun Man posted:

Noted Totally Good Game Postal 2 has a "take your dick out" button. And another to piss. And one to give the finger, and one to kick people / things. I want more games to have these features, honestly. I got a middle finger button for New Vegas but boy I sure want that kick.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2017 13:32

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Change the title to This is not the Steam Thread

# ¿ Jul 24, 2017 20:01

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Jamfrost posted:

Great name change!

I'll celebrate by pointing out a horse racing game: http://store.steampowered.com/app/655610/Horse_Racing_2016/

It features a UI made with old Paint.

"Horse Racing 2016 is most Fabulous and Entertaining Game for Everyone"

No reviews since Oct 21, 2016.

The developer has another game coming out in August
"Dark Mystery is a Puzzled Platformer Game"

# ¿ Jul 25, 2017 10:02

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Digirat posted:

Accept gift [Decline gift]

You don't look a gift horse in the...

# ¿ Aug 5, 2017 10:36

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

What would happen if you pulled out the cart in the last moment?

# ¿ Aug 7, 2017 15:38

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

The right man in the wrong hole can make all the difference.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2017 05:04

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Largepotato posted:

http://store.steampowered.com/app/679070/Fapic/

ic

'gigantic landscape, unlimited enemies, and familiar faces.'

'Breath-Taking Soundtrack
Game play time is averaged at 1-1 1/2 hours (using speed run strats).
5 bosses with 1 bonus boss after passing the platform trials.
2nd person shooter
3-D Plane of motion.
3-D Platforming '

'This game should be complete sometime early 2018'

I don't think it should.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2017 18:20

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Really Pants posted:

who would win in a fight between MDickie and Cleve Blakemore

Everyone.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2017 18:44

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

I hope Steam gets The You Testament 2, where MDickie brings wrestling to Islam.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2017 05:30

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

A rope woven out of pubes?

# ¿ Aug 19, 2017 13:20

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

There's whiny indies and there's this guy
http://gue.cgwmuseum.org/galleries/index.php?pub=0&item=14&id=2&key=0
"When we were selling through our "Software Factory" we did all our own layouts and printing (I would take it to the local offset place myself) and my mother-in-law assembled the books and stuffed the plastic bags with them. It was a real cottage operation. I would drive to various computer stores in the area and leave free samples. And we sent a free copy of each of our products to all the software stores that advertised in the magazines at the time. That generated a lot of sales."

...

Why is there a free HL1 mod in New and Trending ion Steam?

Why does it have a paid plunger dlc?
http://store.steampowered.com/app/699350/HalfLife_CAGED__Executive_Plunger/

# ¿ Sep 23, 2017 19:45

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Alan Smithee posted:

I know there was a whole thread at some point for goons making amazon kindle erotica

was there ever a steam equivalent for goon dating sims?

Goon dating?

# ¿ Nov 20, 2017 14:35

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

There's one for ringing the bell 100 times, too.

The achievements in Grim Fandango remaster encourage looking for missable and obscure bits of dialogue. But there's also one for beating the entire game with tank controls.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2017 19:26

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Those titty games are still less likely to sell you body fluids than Lord British.

# ¿ Nov 23, 2017 06:20

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Mr Luxury Yacht posted:

SF2 with integrated steam workshop support for the million mods out there would be legit awesome and maybe would make enough money to get the dev to make a proper sequel instead of crappy phone games.

I'll never get sim and grog devs who still refuse to throw their games on Steam while at the same time complaining "My game will never make any money on Steam because nobody knows about it".

Like if you threw SF2 on there and advertised it as a more modern version of the Janes games that runs on today's machines I guarantee Thirdwire would make a decent amount of cash.

Some garbage company already has
http://store.steampowered.com/app/281580/Wings_Over_Europe/

# ¿ Nov 23, 2017 17:35

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Really Pants posted:

actually I've decided to branch out into uncharted territory and really spread my creative wings

look forward to Pee Dating Simulator in winter 2019

Pee Wee Her Man 2020

# ¿ Dec 2, 2017 18:10

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Black Griffon posted:

gently caress everything.

That's what those games are all about?

# ¿ Dec 9, 2017 21:49

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

StrixNebulosa posted:

Are you tired of modern fps games with microtransactions, paid crates and unresponsive developers? We want to go back to a more civilized time where you bought a game and you had all of its contents. Join us to help us to make this dream come to reality.

http://store.steampowered.com/app/384960/Vengeance/

(it's an early access game )

It has a Patreon in case your access isn't early enough.

"It was one hell of a journey, but it is finally here: Vengeance - Beta!"

# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 08:45

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

What the fuzzy flying gently caress is this?

http://store.steampowered.com/app/727180/Escape_Expert/

Watch the trailer. All of it.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2017 19:15

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Sundae posted:

Houston, we have a problem...

Flatout is also there.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2018 13:03

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

I'm no longer surprised to see anything in my queue.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2018 13:44

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Schubalts posted:

When are we gonna get a remake of Spider? Platformer where you played as a cyborg spider, complete with wall-climbing and silk shooting. The powerups even swapped out your cyborg spider's legs for different weapons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2P0YzbqN0I

# ¿ Jan 27, 2018 16:01

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

There were warnings. Everyone said he was a kidder.
Also, Harverster has a text parser dialogue option, and you can say ~~Ni!~~ 'gently caress' to everyone. Addressing the town's resident little girl in such a way gets you arrested.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2018 08:08

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

How do you pronounce Haydee?

# ¿ Feb 18, 2018 14:30

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

I thought Dirty Harry was loosely canon.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2018 09:28

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Synthbuttrange posted:

lol

'Developer Comment
This is Suxa (suxamethonium), creator of Hakoniwa Explorer Plus.
Originally, this was never intended to be made into a game'

# ¿ Jun 14, 2018 07:17

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/753950

This looks like poo poo. What kind of poo poo is it?

# ¿ Jul 1, 2018 18:43

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

The MSJ posted:

Someone should really make a game about a world where everyone is driven by pure id, though.

The You Testament.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2018 18:54

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Consensual Sex Involving Tentacles

# ¿ Oct 12, 2018 14:59

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

It's funny how after the success of the MSX MS has been loving up in the Japanese market for decades.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2018 10:33

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 22:45

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

The save system is probably going to be garbage again.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2018 05:55

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Terrible Awful Games: it's either bees and porn or crypto and NFTs

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