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Last week I saw a lot of noise on Facebook comparing Sean Spicer's sad excuse for press conferences to the novel '1984'. However, I think that the better analogy is Dune, because clearly Spicer is Beast Raban. But let's start at the top, since we all know who the Emperor is. Donald Trump is Shaddam IV, Padishah Emperor of the Known Universe  An ego maniac who lives for ostentatious displays of wealth and power; sits on a literal gold throne in a gold clad room in a golden palace. Maintains a facade of supreme power and political authority, but is ultimately a puppet of the nefarious factions that he secretly conspires with. But for as long as he can maintain his tenuous grip on the throne, he can continue to acquire vast personal wealth through his shady business connections. Reince Priebus is Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam, the Emperor's Truthsayer  Whispering into the president’s ear, he advises his master from the shadows. While he lives in service of the POTUS, his real job is to maintain levers of control over his putative master: his true loyalties lie only with the Republican National Committee. The Republican National Committee (RNC) is The Order of The Bene Gesserit  A faceless, shadowy organization that plots to control the world from behind the scenes. For generations now they have toiled upon a master plan: by pairing a world-wide disinformation campaign with total control over the development of Republican politicians, they hoped to breed a new kind of super politician. But something went horribly wrong, and they accidentally created a monster that was beyond anyone’s control. Rex W. Tillerson is a Stage 3 Guild Navigator, representative of the Spacing Guild  He Who Controls the Oil, Controls the Planet! But ultimately, all he really cares about is unrestrained extraction: “The Oil Must FLOW.” Stephen K. Bannon is Baron Vladimir Harkonnen  A vile, disgusting, hateful monster. Seeks power, but ultimately lives for only one thing: the destruction, violation, and humiliation of his enemies. Kellyanne Conway is Piter De Vries, twisted Mentat  Head of treachery and deception. A really big fan of torture. Terrible fashion sense. Sean Spicer is Glossu "Beast" Rabban Harkonnen  A total patsy that got thrown to the dogs. The dramatic display of his cruelty and incompetence was engineered just to make his successor look good. I expect to see his head on pike shortly ??? is Feyd Rutha Harkonnen  Whoever ends up replacing Spicer. The Deplorables are the Sardaukar Terror Troops  Neo-nazis, the KKK, and all of the random internet racists that make up the so called “Alt-Right”: a product of a cruel and amoral Darwinian evolution, they are a force of pure nihilistic destruction. My photo manip skills are terrible, and my attention span only so long, so if someone wants to make better images, go for it.
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Jan 30, 2017 17:55
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It seems like you put a lot of work into this, and I'm proud of you for that so I will give you a nice little bump, but I have no idea what any of this means.
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Jan 30, 2017 19:32
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Can my box be the pain box? I'll trying to get filled son
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Jan 30, 2017 19:33
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I enjoyed reading this OP.
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Jan 30, 2017 19:40
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So who is the Republican qwisatz haderak who will save us?
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Jan 30, 2017 19:51
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In this allegory, is the spice melange equal to viagra or methamphetamine?
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Jan 30, 2017 19:53
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fade is obviously Ivanka now slap her face on that poo poo I've already rated 5 yeahhh!!!
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Jan 30, 2017 19:55
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FedEx Mercury posted:So who is the Republican qwisatz haderak who will save us? jared kushner, obviously. the jews have meticulously been managing their bloodlines for 6000 years specifically so that HE could be born.
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Jan 30, 2017 19:57
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Even if dune is a decent book you put way too much effort into this poo poo op. Think of your poor mother, she's suffered enough.
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Jan 30, 2017 19:58
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In Dune, people are raised under extreme conditions in order to reach their full potential as a human being: The Sardakur have their prison planet, the Fremen have their desert planet, and the nobility have their constant threat of assassination/blood feud. How does Trump fit into this theme?
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Jan 30, 2017 20:04
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trump has always been more of a baron harkonnen in my eyes. maybe it's just the visual similarity though. maybe his son will grow up to be an evil corpulent sadist and he will be the true barron harkonnen? time will tell.
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Jan 30, 2017 20:08
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Rated one for effortpost.
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Jan 30, 2017 20:15
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also baron vladimir harkonnen? it writes itself
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Jan 30, 2017 20:18
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Well, the Baron hosed Feyd, so I guess Feyd would be Ivanka?
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Jan 30, 2017 20:24
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someone needs to photoshop trump fatter cause im not buying it
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Jan 30, 2017 20:24
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Im 'ron' paul atreides vote for me!
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Jan 30, 2017 20:30
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Who is the twink that Bannon pulls the heart plug out of in this timeline???
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Jan 30, 2017 20:33
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FedEx Mercury posted:So who is the Republican qwisatz haderak who will save us? Yeah, that's where this completely falls apart. I just liked the idea of Republicans tinkering with reality, and it coming back to bite them in the rear end. Angela Lansburial posted:trump has always been more of a baron harkonnen in my eyes. maybe it's just the visual similarity though. maybe his son will grow up to be an evil corpulent sadist and he will be the true barron harkonnen? time will tell. Physically, yes. But the whole gold throne thing, and being a puppet were too fitting. If I knew what I was doing, I would have made him much fatter, with tiny hands. Oberleutnant posted:Even if dune is a decent book you put way too much effort into this poo poo op. I'm pretty obsessed with Dune, so this took like 15 minutes to write. Since I suck at photo manipulations, that part took me like 3 hours. But I'm currently unemployed, so it's not like I had anything better to do with my time.
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Jan 30, 2017 20:51
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Teikanmi posted:Who is the twink that Bannon pulls the heart plug out of in this timeline??? it was you all along
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Jan 30, 2017 20:54
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Actually come to think of it, Saddam Hussein is the Padishah emperor. I mean, Saddam, Shaddam, it practically writes itself.
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Jan 30, 2017 21:09
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Jan 30, 2017 22:08
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Which one is Hermoine?
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Jan 30, 2017 22:24
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Trump is actually the Muad'dib, trying in vain to prevent the coming jihad that his actions will set in motion.
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Jan 30, 2017 22:27
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All other paths lead to stagnation and the extinction of the human race. Trump has peered across the waves of time and is leading humanity down The Golden Path
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Jan 30, 2017 22:44
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Oscar Wild posted:Well, the Baron hosed Feyd, so I guess Feyd would be Ivanka? lovely feyd
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Jan 30, 2017 22:49
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I read Dune recently and enjoyed it. But I hear the later books are bad. How many Dune books should I read?
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Jan 30, 2017 22:54
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GigaPeon posted:I read Dune recently and enjoyed it. But I hear the later books are bad. How many Dune books should I read? I was in the same boat as you so I read the next two to satisfy my curiosity. They're a letdown compared to Dune tbh and unless you're very much enthralled by the Dune universe I say stop after the first.
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Jan 30, 2017 22:57
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GigaPeon posted:I read Dune recently and enjoyed it. But I hear the later books are bad. How many Dune books should I read? I like the first four but I also have done a lot of drugs so take my endorsement for what you will. Frank's kid is a fucker and I haven't tried to read any of his poo poo.
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Jan 30, 2017 23:00
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The first is by the far the best, but 2 and 3 are worth a read. The ones his son wrote don't exist.  Tricky D posted:Trump is actually the Muad'dib, trying in vain to prevent the coming jihad that his actions will set in motion. Now we are talking! Toadvine posted:All other paths lead to stagnation and the extinction of the human race. Love it!
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Jan 30, 2017 23:01
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GigaPeon posted:I read Dune recently and enjoyed it. But I hear the later books are bad. How many Dune books should I read? 2 and 3 are pretty good, 4 is weird as gently caress but it's kind of what the first three are building up to.
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Jan 30, 2017 23:09
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I really don't know what any of this means. Could you write out your post again, only using Transformers to make your point?
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Jan 30, 2017 23:19
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I recommend the following dune books: Dune: House Atreides (1999) Dune: House Harkonnen (2000) Dune: House Corrino (2001) Dune: The Butlerian Jihad (2002) Dune: The Machine Crusade (2003) Dune: The Battle of Corrin (2004) The Road to Dune (2005) Hunters of Dune (2006) Sandworms of Dune (2007) Paul of Dune (2008) The Winds of Dune (2009) Sisterhood of Dune (2012) Mentats of Dune (2014) Navigators of Dune (2016)
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Jan 30, 2017 23:20
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Toadvine posted:All other paths lead to stagnation and the extinction of the human race. We're not supposed to like the Golden Path, either. It will be a harsh, unrelenting, and seemingly endless tyranny that will make sure we never vote wrong again. Edit: Come to think of it, Alia was also a terrible choice. Terrible decision that year. Flubby fucked around with this message at 23:34 on Jan 30, 2017 |
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Jan 30, 2017 23:31
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Bless the MAGA and His dealings May his passage drain the swamp
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Jan 30, 2017 23:33
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The oil must flow.
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Jan 30, 2017 23:35
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GigaPeon posted:I read Dune recently and enjoyed it. But I hear the later books are bad. How many Dune books should I read? People will try to argue this, I think, but the first one only. From the second book onward the writing is worse by measures.
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Jan 30, 2017 23:35
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Read the first one and pretend like you read the next 2. You won't miss anything.
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Jan 30, 2017 23:36
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Crash_N_Burn posted:People will try to argue this, I think, but the first one only. From the second book onward the writing is worse by measures. Tbh after reading dune I have no desire to actually continue. It's a cool story with a relatively open ending that only benefits from not knowing what will happen in the future.
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Jan 30, 2017 23:37
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Son of Rodney posted:Tbh after reading dune I have no desire to actually continue. It's a cool story with a relatively open ending that only benefits from not knowing what will happen in the future. Agreedo
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Jan 30, 2017 23:38
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Trump will use atomics, but not on people so everyone will be cool with it.
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Jan 30, 2017 23:39
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