|
I have an above average number of arms and if you have two you do too
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2017 18:46
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 2, 2024 12:37 |
|
|
shame on an IGA posted:I have an above average number of arms and if you have two you do too Everyone believes that as soon as they think about it for a second.  I know what shrimp are. (They're prawns!)
|
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2017 22:42
|
|
|
I'm not actually gay
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2017 10:07
|
|
|
I guess the only thing people have consistently not believed about me, openly or not, is how I revised for exams/wrote essays and so on. I never revised for anything more than 1-2 days in advance, usually for a handful of hours total. I've written every essay I was ever set at school or university the night before it was due, regardless of length. I wrote my 15,000 word dissertation, including 100+ citations, in the last two days before it was due and got a top grade for it. It was meant to be written over the course of 6 months or something, with biweekly contact with an adviser. When I handed it over to mine, who I had never talked to except to sponsor my proposal, he had forgotten about me entirely. I lived with a girl who went to library for like 8 hours a day pretty much every day, was constantly working on her projects/essays for the full allocated time, tweaking/editing etc. doing in-depth research. She didn't understand or believe how I worked, and likewise I couldn't really understand how a person could live in the library like that. Yeah, take that thread. Realposting.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2017 17:27
|
|
|
I voted for Trump and I don't regret it.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2017 18:12
|
|
|
I once met an engineer that wasn't an rear end in a top hat. He also drove a beamer and didn't have those blue gently caress off headlights perpetually set to highbeams.
|
|
#
?
Feb 25, 2017 21:20
|
|
|
I've been stabbed twice and once took a job placement test in elementary school and was told I best fit being a stay at home dad.
|
|
#
?
Feb 26, 2017 23:40
|
|
|
I have a life. And friends.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2017 13:24
|
|
|
Shooting Blanks posted:I have dozens of skydives but I've never jumped out of a plane. so, helicopters or hot air balloons? or are you counting BASE jumping?
|
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 04:56
|
|
|
kathmandu posted:so, helicopters or hot air balloons? or are you counting BASE jumping? He dove out of the sky, stupid.
|
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 06:12
|
|
|
i got bitten by a tree frog once
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2017 08:30
|
|
|
JoelJoel posted:Yeah, you made those memories up. Memory is fluid and you just pieced poo poo together from stuff you know and your dad verified it like an idiot, further cementing the fake memories. None of your memories are 100 percent accurate and most are very wrong and embellished. Another very plausible, if not outright likely, explanation is that he heard about the event in question at some point (possibly even from his dad) but later mistakenly believed it was something he directly remembered. If it was from his dad, his dad simply may have forgotten mentioning it. I have a similar pseudo-memory of falling out of a carriage as a toddler. The event in question actually happened, but chances are I just heard about it from someone and falsely believed it was something I actually remembered.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2017 10:49
|
|
|
i ate a man in tennessee
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2017 12:39
|
|
|
I used to be really smart but a combination of drug and alcohol abuse has made me fairly dumb. Because of this, I have gained a huge amount of personal and professional success. Be dumb, it's much better.
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 22:42
|
|
|
You must have read the thread title wrong, because I deeeefinitely believe that you're dumb as hell.
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 23:04
|
|
|
i'm dumb as hell, perpetually angry and have no sense of smell
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2017 03:42
|
|
|
I LIKE COOKIE posted:This is for real, and you should dedicate your life to numbers if you want to discover a new prime number or solve a crazy unknown equation or whatever. You may have a bright future in physics if you're not lazy. The numbers often take on new meaning in combinations, personally. If I was to SUPER simplify it, I would say - 3 - Good number, but needs something with it. In small settings, an excellent number. Strong, but only in certain settings. Can be tricky. 6 - Fluid, easy to deal with, but somewhat treacherous. 7 - drat near perfection for a rugged, small number. Defies the odds. 8 - Similar to six without any treacherous undertones. 9 - Daunting, big, powerful, tricky, but possibly benevolent. That is waaaaaaay simplifying things. I used to think I just had associations with numbers and memory was the prime component. But I've talked about how I feel about numbers (and that I think it's all rubbish) but the person was gobsmacked how I could explain numbers as almost a vague shape. I also have never been good at math because my brain cannot rectify zero being a number and not a number. It feels like ten should be eleven and etc. Before anyone asks, I have extremely controlled OCD. I know this all sounds crazy, but I was perusing the thread and this caught my eye. Also I'm an agnostic that believes close to nothing so I'm not about to start ranting about loving crystals and poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2017 06:56
|
|
|
Hmmm yes I'm sure having different associations attached to numbers is going to be very helpful with any maths more complex than arithmetic. But hey, all the power to you if you can do what the most basic calculators can do for at least the last 30 years!
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 01:25
|
|
|
kathmandu posted:so, helicopters or hot air balloons? or are you counting BASE jumping? None of the above. Prenatal.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 16:57
|
|
|
1 - insecure rear end in a top hat with insatiable craving for power 2 - petulant and snide 3 - seriously gently caress this neurotic ungrateful piece of 4 - okay, a bit of a nerd 5 - serious personality problems here, changes like the weather, insults me and then pretends it never happened 6 - sexual deviant 7 - fat, smug and over-qualified for its job 8 - who the gently caress does it think it is strutting around like that 9 - doing its best in very difficult circumstances 10 - ugh
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2017 07:05
|
|
|
I know this thread is about being a funny rear end concerning the OP, but screw it, I'm pissed and I want to vent I had a perfect 800 verbal SAT and 710 math and was a National Scholarship Semifinalist a 4.2 GPA and no bad dings on my record I was the #1 seed in our tennis club which was pretty ghetto and I was the best of a bunch of bad tennis players but Keeper on the soccer team for 2 years Editor of the school newspaper Contributing editor to the yearbook In the best possible school choir for all 4 years which was unheard of, I was the only freshman in the top choir I ran school photographs and helped do machiney stuff in the labs and science rooms. I was in all AP top classes and aced them Like WTF William and Mary? Did I have to be the actual reincarnation of Jesus to get in there? And William and Mary still turned me the gently caress down and I had to go George Mason.
|
|
#
?
Mar 9, 2017 05:47
|
|
|
Nessa posted:I get some disbelief when I tell people my age. This happens to me all the time. People usually guess 16/17 unless I'm at work (I'm a nurse) and then they know I have to be at least 20. I'm 27. I actually went to give blood last year and when the guy up front asked me my age I told him and he just laughed and laughed and said "really?" JFC dude do you think I'm making it up? It made me super mad. I was like "at my job, I'm in charge of 5-6 adults, that makes me a super adult!" He was not amused and still didn't believe me. I didn't give blood. It happens to my husband too when he shaves. People at the liquor store have threatened to call the police on him and he just laughed and told them to go right ahead. He is 26. Professor Shark posted:I have memories from when I was less than a year old. This also. My earliest memory is from 2 weeks before my 2nd birthday when my family moved. I distinctly remember being at daycare until lunch and then getting into the Jeep with my dad and our dogs. I remember we had a U-Haul full of plants in the back. Just a really coherent crisp set of memories about the day we moved.
|
|
#
?
Mar 9, 2017 14:57
|
|
|
JibbaJabberwocky posted:This happens to me all the time. People usually guess 16/17 unless I'm at work (I'm a nurse) and then they know I have to be at least 20. I'm 27. I actually went to give blood last year and when the guy up front asked me my age I told him and he just laughed and laughed and said "really?" JFC dude do you think I'm making it up? It made me super mad. I was like "at my job, I'm in charge of 5-6 adults, that makes me a super adult!" He was not amused and still didn't believe me. I didn't give blood. I'm 38 TODAY and I used to get carded constantly, but it recently stopped happening, and trust me, you'll kind of miss it when it stops. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 9, 2017 19:54
|
|
|
I was run over by an unmanned golf cart as a child.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2017 01:04
|
|
|
Control Volume posted:I was run over by an unmanned golf cart as a child. So what'd you do to piss your mum off so much?
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2017 04:48
|
|
|
DoggPickle posted:I have ZERO memories before 7 or 8 years old. I still believe you, but I'm jealous I guess. I don't get it. You're 38 years old and you still bother telling people you were the keeper on your school's soccer team for 2 years and nobody believes you? Do you have some incredibly bad physical deformity or something?
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2017 05:35
|
|
|
fart simpson posted:I don't get it. You're 38 years old and you still bother telling people you were the keeper on your school's soccer team for 2 years and nobody believes you? Do you have some incredibly bad physical deformity or something? What? I was pissed about my college "resume" being totally awesome and still not getting into the school that I really wanted. Shut up fart. *edit* I was offered a total scholarship to skip everything after 7th grade and go directly to college and I turned it down because I didn't want to be Doogie Howser. Then ^that poo poo happened. BELIEVE DoggPickle fucked around with this message at 06:23 on Mar 10, 2017 |
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2017 06:19
|
|
|
DoggPickle posted:I'm 38 TODAY and I used to get carded constantly, but it recently stopped happening, and trust me, you'll kind of miss it when it stops. why do people do this like, if you used to be carded constantly surely you are aware that anyone who looks even slightly young for their age has heard this terrible joke hundreds if not thousands of times already
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2017 07:22
|
|
|
Jeb Bush 2012 posted:why do people do this It's not a joke. It seems like an annoying eternity when you can't buy Nyquil or the good allergy pills without an ID, but it's all very light-hearted and funny and just kind of annoying, and then it GENUINELY hurts your ego just a little when it stops. Getting constantly carded for cigarettes at 36-37 isn't looking "slightly young" btw. That's more than double the legal age.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2017 07:36
|
|
|
DoggPickle posted:
*googles average lifespan of orangutan* *is sad*  stay safe dogpickle
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2017 07:54
|
|
|
Calibanibal posted:*googles average lifespan of orangutan* Duh, it's Doggpickle with two G's like Snoop Dogg. My family's average lifespan is ~60. That's a heavily weighted average because of one pretty old grandparent, and not a mean. The mean would be closer to 45. BELIEVE. What is the average lifespan of an orangutan? I would have guessed that they got pretty old. Not giant tortoise-old, but around human old.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2017 08:06
|
|
|
its 35-45
|
|
#
?
Mar 11, 2017 03:30
|
|
|
I consider myself a mystic, in a very broad sense. Got the feeling the person I mentioned this to didn't buy it. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 11, 2017 07:59
|
|
|
One time I got chased through a forest by rednecks in ATVs. It was midnight, and I just barely got away by turning off my flashlight and blindly running through what turned out to be a patch of standing knee-deep water. It was such a strange, fantastical event that I've stopped telling people about it because I can tell they think I'm making it up. There are very, very few moments in life where you are tested to your limits. You can never really know what you'll do in that type of survival situation until it suddenly happens. It turned out to be a near-spiritual, transformative experience for me, since I learned that I'm capable of pushing myself to beyond what I thought were my physical limits when the moment calls for it, and that I'll fight with all I got instead of rolling over and giving up. And so I'm okay with no one believing me. I believe me, and that's enough.
|
|
|
#
?
Mar 11, 2017 19:03
|
|
|
Why were they chasing you?
|
|
#
?
Mar 11, 2017 20:24
|
|
|
I have directly saved the lives of two people, one was a kid that was choking and turning blue and another was swept away in a very large and fast moving river.
|
|
#
?
Mar 12, 2017 11:03
|
|
|
It was good of you to stop choking that kid.
|
|
#
?
Mar 12, 2017 12:45
|
|
|
I was once paid to break up a shaving cream fight that involved a cheerleading squad in various states of undress. Some of the girls were fully nude. I also stuck around to supervise as they cleaned up the mess they had made. I was a 17 year old male at the time.
|
|
#
?
Mar 12, 2017 18:44
|
|
|
DoggPickle posted:What? I was pissed about my college "resume" being totally awesome and still not getting into the school that I really wanted. Shut up fart. Please try to stay on topic next time. It can be confusing when you derail the thread with unrelated stories.
|
|
#
?
Mar 13, 2017 05:25
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 2, 2024 12:37 |
|
|
i can sound a shofar with my rear end
|
|
#
?
Mar 14, 2017 02:56
|
|