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Ora Tzo
Feb 26, 2016

HEEEERES TONYYYY
The political landscape as it stands.....


The Bigger Money Liberal Party



Currently heading up the Libs is Malcolm Turnbull who claims he's different from his predecessor but that's clearly not the case.
With the threat of right wing of the party toppling him again he is scared into complying with their demands.
Scandal after scandal has hit the party from extorting citizens through Centrelink to taking advantage of their parliamentary perks and further continuing offshore detention.
Looming on the horizon is this years budget and other possible reasons for a leadership challenge.


The Very Rural National Party



The National Party is lead by a sun-dried tomato and is supposedly the party for people of the countryside.
Being part of the Coalition they end up most of the time following Liberal lines when they ought to enriching their constituencies.
This nevertheless has got some voters annoyed resulting in attempts to elect independents and other parties.


The Socialist Labor Party



The main opposition party lead by Bill Shorten who tries to lead despite having not the best charisma.
Occasionally appears in the news to deal out Zingers and other policies as well as doing his best impression of a good leader.
These days the party hangs around the centre which pisses off people.


The Ex-Liberal One Nation Party



The looming threat on the horizon to both major parties.
Fielding anyone crazy enough to join their party they hope to get a foothold in the state governments and federal government.
Seeks to cast out everything they dislike; halal certification, ugly single mums, brown people, people who believe in global warming, and anyone with ties to the Chinese government (Sam Dastyari).
There is some discontent from within about how the party operates but we're yet to see if that will result in them blowing up.


The Latte and Trees Party Greens



Lead by a bloke who had a photo-shoot in a turtleneck and they seek to be Australia's progressive party.
These days they seem to have a mild case of the splits as they face their greatest threat from within from Left Renewal.
We dunno who Left Renewal is either.


The Democratic Liberal Party Nick Xenophon Team



A bunch of ex-Liberals offended to be called Liberals yet have voted as liberals would vote in the senate.
Native to South Australia.


The Senate Crossbench

A place full of scary and silly people.







Parliament resumes on February 7th.

Ora Tzo fucked around with this message at 13:47 on Feb 1, 2017

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I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
I'm g'day.

DancingShade
Jul 26, 2007

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 26 days!)

Maybe Turnbull should just buy one of those Halal Snack Packs for 1.75 million next election in front of a camera.

Would be a better use of his money.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

DancingShade
Jul 26, 2007

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 26 days!)

Also in the OP: I think you should have used characters from Huey The Helicopter for the party that seems to love them so much.

Starshark
Dec 22, 2005
Doctor Rope
When does Parliament sit again? I wanna see this year's poo poo fight start in earnest.

E: oh, it's in the OP

Starshark fucked around with this message at 11:24 on Feb 1, 2017

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/abc730/status/826717646150209536

Is this as big a train wreck as I think it is?

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
I managed to forget Senator Derryn Hinch is a thing.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Shame Lid, shame.

norp
Jan 20, 2004

TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP

let's invade New Zealand, they have oil
lol, Turnbull had an autocue for the press club q&a today. That must have been that bit where I said "he's gone back on script"

Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007

Abbott's Indigenous Advisory Council has been abolished. vOv

WhiskeyWhiskers
Oct 14, 2013


The contribution itself probably isn't going to be a big deal. That whinging about 'politics of envy' probably plays alright with the base, but it's pretty obvious to anyone outside the lib bubble just how desperate and sad that interview is.

e:And loving no one's going to buy that the libs aren't beholden to donors. That was the loving dumbest rhetorical trick he's tried to pull yet.

WhiskeyWhiskers fucked around with this message at 11:44 on Feb 1, 2017

Chicken Parmigiana
Sep 12, 2007

Thank you for the very fine OP.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
The deputy prime minister, Barnaby Joyce, says it is “morally prudent” for Australia to build new coal-fired plants and he would have no problem if taxpayers provided support.

hooman
Oct 11, 2007

This guy seems legit.
Fun Shoe

Lid posted:

The deputy prime minister, Barnaby Joyce, says it is “morally prudent” for Australia to build new coal-fired plants and he would have no problem if taxpayers provided support.

God he's a real piece of poo poo.

ewe2
Jul 1, 2009


Clive who?

Luceid
Jan 20, 2005

Buy some freaking medicine.
sometimes i have a really severe mental condition where i miss australia, do you think i can use this as proof of being retarded enough to claim disability

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

Synthbuttrange posted:

Abbott's Indigenous Advisory Council has been abolished. vOv
Because as poo poo as it was, churn in this policy area always gets the best results: Blacks killing themselves.

-/-

Needed to point out Xenophon has already proven to be libertarian scum. He isn't a 'wild card' in any sense (not that you said that) and the pokies are a distraction at best.

2/10 see me after question time.

Graic Gabtar
Dec 19, 2014

squat my posts
OP is good.

DancingShade
Jul 26, 2007

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 26 days!)

Lid posted:

The deputy prime minister, Barnaby Joyce, says it is “morally prudent” for Australia to build new coal-fired plants and he would have no problem if taxpayers provided support.

LNP policies are morally prudent according to their special brand of economic looting based ideology.

Solemn Sloth
Jul 11, 2015

Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.

WhiskeyWhiskers posted:

The contribution itself probably isn't going to be a big deal. That whinging about 'politics of envy' probably plays alright with the base, but it's pretty obvious to anyone outside the lib bubble just how desperate and sad that interview is.

e:And loving no one's going to buy that the libs aren't beholden to donors. That was the loving dumbest rhetorical trick he's tried to pull yet.

The Liberals aren't beholden to donors, they just happened to give the leadership and prime ministership directly to their largest single donor

061469
Mar 2, 2005

OPTIC BLAST!
And because Abbott was tipped to lose hard.

bigis
Jun 21, 2006

Hahah this is great. "We're very generous---" "to the Liberal party".

AgentF
May 11, 2009
"Bill Shorten wants to live in a harbourside mansion for which every expense is paid for by the taxpayer", says a man mentioned in the Panama Papers.

Anidav
Feb 25, 2010

ahhh fuck its the rats again
Left wing unions cries the Prime Minister whose fate is literally in the hands of George Christiansen, Corey Bernardi and Scott Morrison.

Recoome
Nov 9, 2013

Matter of fact, I'm salty now.
the GG is the fat controller

Konomex
Oct 25, 2010

a whiteman who has some authority over others, who not only hasn't raped anyone, or stared at them creepily...
WA election called, mate I went to school with has his face plastered all over the area I work in. Kind of creepy, but okay.

Barnett is toast barring some miracle.

norp
Jan 20, 2004

TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP

let's invade New Zealand, they have oil

Konomex posted:

Barnett is toast barring some miracle.

He could maybe promise some more train lines

adamantium|wang
Sep 14, 2003

Missing you
The Hun is in fine form today

Anidav
Feb 25, 2010

ahhh fuck its the rats again
gently caress most if not all Newspaper in this country.

asio
Nov 29, 2008

"Also Sprach Arnold Jacobs: A Developmental Guide for Brass Wind Musicians" refers to the mullet as an important tool for professional cornet playing and box smashing black and blood

adamantium|wang posted:

The Hun is in fine form today



He needed a white man to help him build a career out of punching white men in the head?

Recoome
Nov 9, 2013

Matter of fact, I'm salty now.

adamantium|wang posted:

The Hun is in fine form today



Bbbut we're not racist!!!! :qq:

AgentF
May 11, 2009
Anthony Mundine without the white man

Cons:

  • No boxing career
Pros:
  • No decimation and dispossession of his people

Cirofren
Jun 13, 2005


Pillbug

Anidav posted:

gently caress most if not all Newspaper in this country.

Amoeba102
Jan 22, 2010

Scummo: "Hmm, we have Clean Energy money. We can use that to build coal plants."

Anidav
Feb 25, 2010

ahhh fuck its the rats again
Actually the Epoch Times and the Saturday Paper are good.

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



Is mundine a lettuce or cabbage now? Racists are getting weird

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

AgentF posted:

Anthony Mundine without the white man

Cons:

  • No boxing career
Pros:
  • No decimation and dispossession of his people

Hmmm this is true you know.

open24hours
Jan 7, 2001

quote:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/worl...e05d_story.html

It should have been one of the most congenial calls for the new commander in chief — a conversation with the leader of Australia, one of America’s staunchest allies, at the end of a triumphant week.

Instead, President Trump blasted Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull over a refu­gee agreement and boasted about the magnitude of his electoral college win, according to senior U.S. officials briefed on the Saturday exchange. Then, 25 minutes into what was expected to be an hour-long call, Trump abruptly ended it.

At one point Trump informed Turnbull that he had spoken with four other world leaders that day — including Russian President Vladi­mir Putin — and that, “This was the worst call by far.”

Trump’s behavior suggests that he is capable of subjecting world leaders, including close allies, to a version of the vitriol he frequently employs against political adversaries and news organizations in speeches and on Twitter.

“This is the worst deal ever,” Trump fumed as Turnbull attempted to confirm that the United States would honor its pledge to take in 1,250 refugees from an Australian detention center. Trump, who one day earlier had signed an executive order temporarily barring the admissions of refugees, complained that he was “going to get killed” politically and accused Australia of seeking to export the “next Boston bombers.”

U.S. officials said that Trump has behaved similarly in conversations with leaders of other countries, including Mexico. But his treatment of Turnbull was particularly striking because of the tight bond between the United States and Australia — countries that share intelligence, support one another diplomatically and have fought together in wars including in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The characterizations provide insight into Trump’s temperament and approach to the diplomatic requirements of his job as the nation’s chief executive, a role in which he continues to employ both the uncompromising negotiating tactics he honed as a real estate developer and the bombastic style he exhibited as a reality television personality.

The depictions of Trump’s calls are also at odds with sanitized White House accounts. The official read-out of his conversation with Turnbull, for example, said that the two had “emphasized the enduring strength and closeness of the U.S.-Australia relationship that is critical for peace, stability, and prosperity in the Asia-Pacific region and globally.”

A White House spokesman declined to comment. A senior administration official acknowledged that the conversation with Turnbull had been hostile and charged, but emphasized that most of Trump’s calls with foreign leaders — including the heads of Japan, Germany, France and Russia — have been both productive and pleasant.

Trump also vented anger and touted his political accomplishments in a tense conversation with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, officials said. The two have sparred for months over Trump’s vow to force Mexico to pay for construction of a border wall between the two countries, a conflict that prompted Peña Nieto to cancel a planned meeting with Trump.

Trump told Peña Nieto in last Friday’s call, according to the Associated Press, which said it reviewed a transcript of part of the conversation, “You have a bunch of bad hombres down there. You aren’t doing enough to stop them. I think your military is scared. Our military isn’t, so I just might send them down to take care of it.”

But even in conversations marred by hostile exchanges, Trump manages to work in references to his election accomplishments. U.S. officials said that he used his calls with both Turnbull and Peña Nieto to mention his election win or the size of the crowd at his inauguration.

One official said that it may be Trump’s way of “speaking about the mandate he has and why he has the backing for decisions he makes.” But Trump is also notoriously thin-skinned and has used platforms including social-media accounts, meetings with lawmakers and even a speech at CIA headquarters to depict his victory as an achievement of historic proportions, rather than a narrow outcome in which his opponent, Hillary Clinton, won the popular vote.

The friction with Turnbull reflected Trump’s anger over being bound by an agreement reached by the Obama administration to accept refugees from Australian detention sites even while Trump was issuing an executive order suspending such arrivals from elsewhere in the world.

The issue centers on a population of roughly 2,500 people who have sought asylum in Australia but were diverted to facilities off that country’s coast at Nauru and Manus Island in Papua New Guinea. Deplorable conditions at those sites prompted intervention from the United Nations and a pledge from the United States to accept about half of those refugees, provided they passed U.S. security screening.

Many of the refugees came from Iran, Iraq, Sudan and Somalia, countries now listed in Trump’s order temporarily banning their citizens entry to the United States. A special provision in the Trump order allows for exceptions to honor “a preexisting international agreement,” a line that was inserted to cover the Australia deal.

But U.S. officials said that Trump continued to fume about the arrangement even after signing the order in a ceremony at the Pentagon.

“I don’t want these people,” Trump said. He repeatedly misstated the number of refugees called for in the agreement as 2,000 rather than 1,250, and told Turnbull that it was “my intention” to honor the agreement, a phrase designed to leave the U.S. president wiggle room to back out of the deal in the future, according to a senior U.S. official.

Turnbull told Trump that to honor the agreement, the United States would not have to accept all of the refugees but only to allow them each through the normal vetting procedures. At that, Trump vowed to subject each refu­gee to “extreme vetting,” the senior U.S. official said.

Trump was also skeptical because he did not see a specific advantage the United States would gain by honoring the deal, officials said.

Trump’s position appears to reflect the transactional view he takes of relationships, even when it comes to diplomatic ties with long-standing allies. Australia has sent troops to fight alongside U.S. forces for decades and maintains close cooperation with Washington on trade and economic issues.

Australia is seen as such a trusted ally that it is one of only four countries that the United States includes in the so-called “Five Eyes” arrangement for cooperation on espionage matters. Members share extensively what their intelligence services gather, and generally refrain from spying on one another.

There also is a significant amount of tourism between the two countries.

Trump made the call to Turnbull about 5 p.m. Saturday from his desk in the Oval Office, where he was joined by chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon, national security adviser Michael Flynn and White House press secretary Sean Spicer.

At one point, Turnbull suggested that the two leaders move on from their impasse over refugees to discuss the conflict in Syria and other pressing foreign issues. But Trump demurred and ended the call, making it far shorter than his conversations with Shinzo Abe of Japan, Angela Merkel of Germany, François Hollande of France or Putin.

The Australian Embassy in Washington did not respond to requests for comment.


This reads like fanfiction, but still, lol.

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Doctor Spaceman
Jul 6, 2010

"Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

open24hours posted:

This reads like fanfiction, but still, lol.

Given how Trump has publicly treated NATO / European allies it sounds entirely plausible to me.

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