NASCAR 2017 OFFSEASON: When is it murder?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NASCAR 2017 OFFSEASON: When is it murder?

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

Peanut President posted:

Maybe they (nascar) should just go loving bankrupt already because gently caress this stupid poo poo.

If you think this is bad, wait until you see a post-bankruptcy NASCAR that's propped up by investors desperately trying to appeal to millennials.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2017 13:38

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 04:52

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

algebra testes posted:

It can't be worse than death throws period Champ Car.

It totally can.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2017 15:16

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

Cygni posted:

DAYTONA BEACH, February 3, 2027 - Ten-time NASCAR Champion Jimmie Johnson has won his 4th straight Daytona 500 Pole presented by "Ow! My Balls!" for tonight's SJWs Are The Real Fascists Daytona 500. NASCAR president Mike Helton praised the new 1-day format for the full field of 22 entries across all classes, all using the new for 2017 spec-1.6 Liter 4 Cylinder Chevy Cruz racecars. Oil tycoon heir and reality programming sensation Ayden Tillerson claimed pole in the Grand National Sportsman class for gentleman drivers after qualifying was marred by six accidents in class. He will start 9th in the combined field, and has been granted three Red Bull Speed Tokens and an additional Joker Lap presented by Marvel Comics from in app fan purchases.

Eternal Emergency Chancellor Donald Trump has announced that all attendees for tonight's event will be screened and interlopers executed on sight. Included in the "temporary ban" are all latinos, blacks, gays, muslims, citizens of the Renegade City States of Los Angeles and San Francisco, settlers from the Cascadia Nation, anyone holding a Federate Macrostates of New England passport, and any "losers or haters".

At least 50% of this will actually happen.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2017 19:13

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

The last time Junior won the 500 I got drat near "Steelers win the Super Bowl"-levels of excited, so yeah, let's do that poo poo.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2017 00:02

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

Ol Cactus Dick posted:

They were probably banking on her to move a lot of product but somehow didn't figure that there isn't a lot of crossover in Nascar fans and People who eat fig bars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bvi9zpHlrvg

# ¿ Feb 4, 2017 04:35

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

kidcoelacanth posted:

How is "get excited for the biggest race of the year, here are some cool race cars. maybe have some friends over too" out of touch? Like what the gently caress is the alternative?

Like I don't disagree that NASCAR is on the whole completely off the mark with what their audience wants, that's not even a debate. But the fixation on the commercial is stupid.

Because they still have not realized they aren't going to recapture the casual viewers they had 10-15 years ago, and that's who this entire campaign is aimed at.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2017 01:24

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

VikingSkull posted:

it was one of those screams that was so high pitched only a dog could hear it

that dog did hear it, and he didn't care either

I'm a millennial so I can hear it too

# ¿ Feb 7, 2017 03:38

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

VikingSkull posted:

I dunno, personally I think the segments are the least of NASCAR's issues right now, I'm fine with them.

My hope is that the segments work well enough to contrive excitement that NASCAR no longer feels the need to throw unnecessary cautions to bunch the field up. Of course, yes, I am a child.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 15:34

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

kidcoelacanth posted:

I'm watching a compilation of the best finishes from last year (there's a lot of good ones!) and it's incredible to hear just how much DW's commentary these days is just incoherent babbling and blatantly playing favorites. Please take him out of the booth, it's awful.

I was watching a clip recently of Johnson's hard it at Daytona a couple years back, where I think Sadler hooks him into the wall, and DW can't stop fawning over Danica's totally out of control car sliding perfectly between two other out of control cars. Sure, it's pretty cool how well it threads the needle, but he's trying to give her credit for it and I'm pretty sure she doesn't even have her hands on the wheel.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 18:19

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

VikingSkull posted:

It worked in Trucks with the caution clock.

The fact that we're in agreement on this cannot be a good sign.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 23:52

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

11 Simple Rhymes To Help You Remember How Dale Earnhardt Died: http://www.clickhole.com/article/11-simple-rhymes-help-you-remember-how-dale-earnha-5632

quote:

At 5:16 they made the call
Cause of death: drove into wall

# ¿ Feb 20, 2017 20:26

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

SwampYankee posted:

There's been a mighty big hole to fill,
since Dale's final "hook and go up the hill"

daslog posted:

Dale Sr, he lost his life
didn't have a HANS device

exploded mummy posted:

earnhardt earnhardt burning bright
oh my god he's turning right

Quantrill posted:

Michael Waltrip won today
I just hope Dale is okay

You guys are the best.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2017 23:41

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

Elitist Bitch posted:

I mean, lots of sportscasters have a trademark phrase. I'm sure there are ones more annoying than DW.

...goddamn it, I just defended DW.

No way in hell there's anything worse than DW's catchphrases.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 03:34

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

dentist toy box posted:

Ummm go to Jayski. They ruined it.

god

loving

dammit.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 19:20

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

exploded mummy posted:

earnhardt earnhardt burning bright
oh my god he's turning right

I'm still laughing about this post.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2017 23:57

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

CBJSprague24 posted:

NASCAR's going to go full IndyCar and put way too drat many road courses on the schedule. Naturally, they're going to even screw up the addition of road courses by the fact they're rovals and not free-standing facilities.

(No, Indy, street circuits are road courses. It's not different.)

Well, the difference here is that IndyCar road courses are frequently very boring, while NASCAR road courses are usually some of the silliest and most entertaining racing you'll see all year.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 16:34

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

CBJSprague24 posted:

It's the combination of boredom and 2/3rds of the IndyCar schedule being on road courses. They need more ovals.

As you said, The Glen/Sonoma/Mid-Ohio/Road America/Mosport are all appointment viewing with NASCAR because a) it's different, b) the races are often really fun, and c) it's still somewhat novel. The infield course at Daytona is fine, but I remember seeing IMSA races at Homestead, Kansas, and California and hating all three. My concern is the races losing their novelty if you overdo it, especially if you add crappy rovals because ISC wants their profits versus Montreal, Laguna Seca, Road Atlanta (which ISC owns), etc..

Yes, all of this is true. IMO IndyCar needs to be closer to a 50/50 split, but they only have a 17-race schedule (one of which is the second leg of a doubleheader), so they wouldn't even necessarily need to remove road courses to make it happen. But NASCAR only has two road courses in Cup, right? Out of 36 races? It shouldn't be a stretch to add one or two more.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 16:48

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

What's Monster going to do to increase NASCAR's popularity? Make everyone wear flat brim hats?

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 18:28

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

DEMAG posted:

Be more marketable to the youth. Boobies and energy drinks carry more clout than phone plans and cell coverage.

You don't market to youth per se, you just create a product that is entertaining and not contrived as hell, then distribute it in a way that young people can actually pay for. Monster won't have anything to do with NASCAR's idiotic rule changes, idiotic playoff system, or the fact that they continue to double down on broadcast networks and cable networks. Olds have all these terrible ideas about what millenials want, when in fact millenials just want things that are sincere, and right now NASCAR could not be further from that.

It also doesn't help that several of NASCAR's most prominent figures went out and campaigned for our idiot president.

Human Grand Prix posted:

That's a little harsh...

Not really, tbh.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 18:44

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

daslog posted:

More silicon boobies.

Is there any sport where people are expecting the sponsor to bring in fans? I thought the sport was supposed to attract the fans and the sponsor markets to them.

Anyways, I understand why people cite the increased safety as a reason the sport has declined in popularity. In the old days (before you kids were born) stuntmen like Evil Knievel would have prime time live specials on Network TV where they would do crazy stunts and get amazing ratings. Back then, our culture considered these guys to be heroes. Today, we don't really see much of that anymore. Some Redbull driver will do something stupid, but it's not something that 10 million people will watch on ABC.

Today, the culture is different, and safety is prized over everything else. However, no one watches Safety TV specials on ABC, it's just something that's there.

It has nothing to do with danger. Last year a man jumped out of an airplane without a parachute and landed on a giant net. We don't see this on TV because no one will sit down and watch two hours of ad-riddled preshow just to get to the stunt. They'll just watch the 30 second clip on YouTube. Primetime TV was a thing because it was the only thing. Now it has to compete with everything all the time, and a lot of companies haven't yet learned to live in that world.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 23:12

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

Focusing on the product is a gross oversimplification. Countless dire sports had huge followings in the pre-internet era, and countless super entertaining sports are on life support today because they lack viewership. People don't flock to whatever's good. CBS exists for a reason.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2017 00:29

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

Genocide Tendency posted:

And yet the IRL was the one that survived...

Because of Indy and only Indy (and because Tony George is a little poo poo).

# ¿ Feb 24, 2017 01:56

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

CBJSprague24 posted:

Skip to the start of the race. Michael appears to be reading a script leading up to the first wreck:

https://www.facebook.com/NASCARonFOX/videos/vb.239115849477537/1270219369700508/?type=2&theater

Commentators always have an enormous amount of notes.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2017 02:51

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

SwampYankee posted:

Those onboard shots were crazy

Any highlights of those around yet?

# ¿ Feb 25, 2017 04:02

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

This is a NASCAR-only safe space.

wicka fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Feb 25, 2017

# ¿ Feb 25, 2017 21:31

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

Give me shorter races, fewer stoppages, and less unbearable commentators, and I don't think I'd have much to complain about.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 18:27

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

kidcoelacanth posted:

If your not amped for 3-time Daytona 500 winner Matt Kenseth theirs the door

*walks through door*

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 19:16

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

Anyone got a link to a spotters guide? New Jayski site sucks so much rear end.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 20:53

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

Yeah I'm not seeing it anywhere.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 21:11

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

No I mean like an actual spotters guide.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 21:17

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

CBJSprague24 posted:

Weren't they going to condense commercials to the Stage breaks?

Scroll down the first link and you'll come to a team list with paint schemes. He's never had an Indy/IMSA-style "Here is the car and how it looks" thing.

Huh, I must've been thinking of something else. Thanks!

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 21:28

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

CBJSprague24 posted:

I...don't hate the Stage system?

Right? I kinda like it. Feels wrong.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 21:37

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

This is what turns me off of NASCAR every year. Do your stages, do your cautions, I don't care, but holy loving poo poo will you please go back racing ASAP.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 21:43