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corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky
they don't matter, nothing matters

gently caress the city of atlanta

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B-Mac
Apr 21, 2003
I'll never catch "the gay"!
31 unanswered points Jesus.

Philip Rivers
Mar 15, 2010

i wish i was dead

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003


Throw the ball away Matt

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

the warriors blew a 3-1 lead in the finals

Nystral
Feb 6, 2002

Every man likes a pretty girl with him at a skeleton dance.

corn on the cop posted:

they don't matter, nothing matters

gently caress the city of Boston

Vanilla Mint Ice
Jul 17, 2007

A raccoon is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits.
This is why you need Eli

EVGA Longoria
Dec 25, 2005

Let's go exploring!

Vanilla Mint Ice posted:

This is why you need Eli

Elotana
Dec 12, 2003

and i'm putting it all on the goddamn expense account
bernie would have won

The Dave
Sep 9, 2003

31 unanswered points

The Aardvark
Aug 19, 2013


Lol just lol

Thaddius the Large
Jul 5, 2006

It's in the five-hole!

Elotana posted:

bernie would have won

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

B-Mac posted:

31 unanswered points Jesus.

testtubebaby
Apr 7, 2008

Where we're going,
we won't need eyes to see.


Why is Matt the MVP again? Is it for getting sacked like a dumbass?

Nervous
Jan 25, 2005

Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.
Patriots win, cover the spread, and 5 RING SHRIMP can rest easy in his seat over how the New England Patriots are the world champions of the American sport of Football.

sword_man.gif
Apr 12, 2007

Fun Shoe

Philip Rivers posted:

i wish i was dead

Philip Rivers posted:

i wish i was dead

Philip Rivers posted:

i wish i was dead

panascope
Mar 26, 2005

I counted out Touchdown Tom. I have been bigly owned by my lack of faith.

EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Elotana posted:

bernie would have won

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

To borrow from Kawalimus....pathetic

GonadTheBallbarian
Jul 23, 2007


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-WHW-QNswE

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Atlanta sucks

pro starcraft loser
Jan 23, 2006

Stand back, this could get messy.

"This is so exciting"

-People dumb enough to forget they won 4 other superbowls in like the last 15 years.

Hunt11
Jul 24, 2013

Grimey Drawer
The weirdest part of seeing the Pats win a super bowl is seeing Belichick actually be happy.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I'm sorry Falcons, you're really cool.

gently caress me Tom. Holy poo poo, just holy poo poo.

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.
I watched every second of that game and I don't understand how it happened.

Polio Vax Scene
Apr 5, 2009



me in december: man 2016 was the worst year ever
2017: HEY FAM WATCH THIS LOL

dphi
Jul 9, 2001
Lol Trump's never gonna win guys

sector_corrector
Jan 18, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo
Hey Patriots fucks, your teams supports trump and you cheated to get here. gently caress you. gently caress your stupid pussy quaterback. gently caress your awful postseason where you beat the shittsburgh Steelers and the, haha, Atlanta Falcons to cheat your way into the superbowl.

Asproigerosis
Mar 13, 2013

insufferable
The Philadelphia Eagles Football Program failed to win another super bowl. The future refused to change.

Nervous
Jan 25, 2005

Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

dphi posted:

Lol Trump's never gonna win guys

They're up 28-3. You can count out Touchdown Tom now :smug:

Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013
I think the biggest thing about that game is that it never really felt like Atlanta was in control of it. Like, they got up early and they pressured Brady, but - like what every stupid team does against them - is that they didn't keep their foot on the Patriots' throat. I know the Falcons' D is going to get much of the blame for it, and yes, they wore down with some horseshit attempts at tackling. But the Falcons' total inability to execute on offense in the fourth quarter, especially when they lost 33 yards holy poo poo what are you imbeciles doing pretty much let the Patriots come back and win the game.

Gameko
Feb 23, 2006

The friend of all children!

Never count out touchdown tom.

sector_corrector
Jan 18, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo
Seriously, you're cheaters, and you're top to bottom trump supporters. I hope every last one of you dumb hicks gets cancer.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
4th and 33. how do you end up in 4th and 33 you stupid fucks

Crescent Wrench
Sep 30, 2005

The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.
Grimey Drawer
I know this is a couple pages old, but drat Matt Ryan looks like a pretty successful businessman who is rapidly closing in on 40. He competes in triathlons in his spare time and he has come to the realization that he never really loved his wife. He goes on long runs early on Saturday mornings, and the last several weeks he's been arriving at the river trail a few minutes later than normal so that he spends part of his run staring at the rear end of the 20-something grad-student who he has started to chat up. Maybe this weekend he'll invite her to get some coffee after their run. He's fantasizes about the impending divorce. He doesn't hate his wife; he plans on making sure that she is comfortable and well taken care of, and he'd prefer to not have a contentious split since he knows that would be harder on his daughter. He tells himself that he wants to make sure he is still a part of his daughter's life, but he hasn't really ever been that involved with her and deep down he knows their relationship will devolve into the odd phone call and birthday card. If he could pinpoint where it all started to go wrong it would probably be after his wife had her third miscarriage. He had always wanted a big family, but at that point it was just too much for her and they stopped trying. He thinks that if they had more kids they could have made it work, but he's still not quite 40 and it isn't too late to start over. He wonders if the grad-student wants a big family...

You guys can't tell me that when you look into that picture of Matt Ryan you don't see a man who grew up in the shadow of an older brother. Jerry was the better athlete, Jerry had all the girlfriends, Jerry was the charmer who could roll around in pig poo poo, flash that million dollar smile, and come out smelling like roses. That’s not to say Matt wasn’t a decent athlete or didn’t have any girlfriends, but Jerry was the star player on the high school football team (although “star” is a relative term on a team that won 6 games in 2 years) and Jerry’s wife (then girlfriend) was the prom queen, and how exactly was Matt supposed to compete with that? Matt would say he had the last laugh now that Jerry is a balding, over-weight claims adjuster living in Overland Park Kansas, but Jerry and Cynthia found Jesus and have five kids and Matt is preparing to divorce his wife whom he hasn’t seen naked in over a year so it’s difficult to feel superior. Matt stopped being bitter at Jerry a long time ago anyways. Once they grew up and stopped competing with each other at everything Matt realized that his brother is just like everyone else, trying to do his best and get by day to day. Matt sometimes lies awake at night wondering if his financial success, which he considers moderate but which any sane person would consider substantial, has really bought him anything but heartburn and a failed marriage, but it’s the sort of crisis that doesn’t lead to any meaningful change and is forgotten by the time the alarm goes off and it’s time to hit the river trail. It’s a cold morning and Matt hopes the grad-student doesn’t decide to hit the snooze button.

You misunderstand. It’s not fan fiction. I’m just trying to describe what this picture looks like:

And what it looks like is a man who has been calling his lawyer’s office for the past week and a half and hanging up as soon as the receptionist answers because he feels guilty for beginning this process and blindsiding his wife with divorce papers. But it isn’t really blindsiding is it? Shannon has to know this is coming. She has to. She knows what has been going on for the past five years, or, more to the point, what has not been going on. Hell, she’s probably been seeing someone else behind his back. Who the gently caress knows what goes on all day when he’s at the office? But then again, this is a woman who spends forty-five minutes in the bathroom at a time and he can hear the sobbing through the door on occasion when she forgets to run the sink to drown it out. She still isn’t well and probably never will be, and if he were to serve her and she were to hurt herself he’s not sure he could forgive himself, not to mention the damage that would do to their daughter. So he continues to put it off, and most nights when he gets home from work he parks his Lexus in the driveway and rehearses what he’s going to say when he walks through the door. “Shannon, we both know this isn’t working. It’s not good for either of us to go on this way.” But what if she wants to work things out? He’s well past wanting to try and make it work, but what if she wants to? Could he actually say no to counseling? Wouldn’t that make him a bad person? And as soon as he’s ready to finally say it, he walks in the door and into the bedroom and the master bathroom door is closed and he can hear the sink running. So he changes into his running clothes and heads out to the river trail.

Sorry jefe, it’s June and the Halos are bottom feeders so I feel empty inside.

Matt looks like he feels pretty empty inside, sort of like a man who just had a two hour argument with his wife because she felt “Way too loving fat” to go to dinner at the club with the Applebaums. But he’s tired of making excuses for her, “Oh sorry, Shannon is a bit under the weather,” “Oh sorry, our baby sitter canceled at the last minute,” “Oh sorry, Shannon is feeling way too loving fat to come tonight.” So he begs and pleads and she slams the bathroom door so hard the windows shake. They ride to the club in total silence. He reaches for the radio, but she shifts in her seat and groans so he retracts his hand and curses to himself internally. At the club it’s all handshakes and smiles, though she does manage a subtle glare at him when he orders a double Johnnie Walker Black on the rocks. Janice Applebaum asks if she’d like to share a bottle of wine, and she says “No thank you, I think one of us should remain sober.” Other than that little dig things go smoothly enough, but before they’ve ordered dessert she excuses herself and doesn’t return for twenty or so minutes. She claims to have run into Emilia Parker in the ladies restroom and she just couldn’t get away any sooner, but he notices the hastily reapplied lipstick and he’s sure the Applebaum’s do as well. On the way home he catches a brief whiff of sour breath from her and he almost says something, but before he can she asks if he wouldn’t mind sleeping on the couch tonight because he always wakes her up when he leaves early to head out for a run. As they walk through the door she heads straight into the master bath and shuts the door.

LEGO Genetics
Oct 8, 2013

She growls as she storms the stadium
A villain mean and rough
And the cops all shake and quiver and quake
as she stabs them with her cuffs
WE ARE MOVING TO CANADA

RIGHT.

NOW.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Atlanta is the new Buffalo. I can't imagine watching anything worse than that and I'm a Bengals fan.

TheScott2K
Oct 26, 2003

I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.
As a Hokie,

EAT poo poo MATTY ICE

t a s t e
Sep 6, 2010

Rubberband officiating smh

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PrinceRandom
Feb 26, 2013

System QB imo

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