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Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

A sad Professor Plum
sitting on a toilet.
I wasn't so sure with the pilot but not I'm 50% thinking this show is beyond ridiculous and 50% completely unironically invested.

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Andrew_1985
Sep 18, 2007
Hay hay hay!
The worst thing about this show is Archie. No-one cares about your teenage drama. We want teenage murder mysteries. And more Barb!

Nerdietalk
Dec 23, 2014

If Archie is meant to show how hosed up your self-esteem has to be to get manipulated by someone like Grundy, I'm into seeing where his plot goes.

Spergatory
Oct 28, 2012
I'm starting to gunk that Archie is just there as a baseline, to remind us what relatively normal teenager-hood looks like so the bugfuck insane antics of everyone else are placed in the proper context.

Troposphere
Jul 11, 2005


psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

Spergatory posted:

I'm starting to gunk that Archie is just there as a baseline, to remind us what relatively normal teenager-hood looks like so the bugfuck insane antics of everyone else are placed in the proper context.

it's super normal to gently caress your music teacher as a 15 year old, agreed

Spergatory
Oct 28, 2012

Troposphere posted:

it's super normal to gently caress your music teacher as a 15 year old, agreed

Well, more normal than having a quasi-incestuous relationship with your dead twin, being a teenage transient/son of a gang leader, being a reformed rich girl/daughter of a crime boss, or having a fully formed split personality, at least.

MiddleOne
Feb 17, 2011

Spergatory posted:

I'm starting to gunk that Archie is just there as a baseline, to remind us what relatively normal teenager-hood looks like so the bugfuck insane antics of everyone else are placed in the proper context.

There's nothing normal about Archie.

Jamesman
Nov 19, 2004

"First off, let me start by saying curly light blond hair does not suit Hyomin at all. Furthermore,"
Fun Shoe
I loved how excited Kevin was to see Cheryl come out in the white dress.

Also learning that maple syrup is a big historic industry to Riverdale kinda makes the whole "Sticky Maple" thing a little less silly.

cant cook creole bream
Aug 15, 2011
I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Jamesman posted:

Also learning that maple syrup is a big historic industry to Riverdale kinda makes the whole "Sticky Maple" thing a little less silly.
Does it really?

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Troposphere posted:

it's super normal to gently caress your music teacher as a 15 year old, agreed

It was the Accounting teacher at my high school. Not that I partook.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
My 8th grade Spanish teacher was Reese Witherspoon's then 25 year old cousin and trust me, the resemblance ran in the family.

No lurid sex scandals ever came out of that though.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

So, my wife's watching Riverdale (which means I sort of am, too) and it's made me realize just how much decades-old Archie knowledge I had hidden away in my brain.

It's too much. I started off not paying attention, and more and more, I'm just either noticing the massive differences with the newest characters, or asking about ones that haven't shown up yet. Where's Professor Flutesnoot? Archie's jalopy? Ambrose? Am I the only one who remembers him?

I guess I'm just wondering why they'd bother putting the Archie paint on this thing; just make your own show. Whatever, I guess it made me watch it, but I can't say I'm invested. I don't go in for this CW stuff, and aside from seeing their interpretation of X character, it's not grabbing me.

Riverdale: Tween Peaks.

Test Pattern
Dec 20, 2007

Keep scrolling, clod!

Shneak posted:

I wasn't so sure with the pilot but not I'm 50% thinking this show is beyond ridiculous and 50% completely unironically invested.

Same, except 100% for both.

Jamesman
Nov 19, 2004

"First off, let me start by saying curly light blond hair does not suit Hyomin at all. Furthermore,"
Fun Shoe

I said "a little."

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


hope and vaseline posted:

Oh my god Cheryl in the white outfit
Kevin's "Yes!" when she appeared was the highlight of the episode.

bunnyofdoom posted:

I think betty's dad is a fake out. He stole the evidence because he thinks polly is the killer
That seemed pretty obvious to me. So obvious that maybe we're supposed to think that but actually it's something else. Like maybe he thinks Clifford Blossom did it and wants to prove it.

Narcissus1916 posted:

My big worry is that Riverdale plays with gothic imagery, is on the CW, and loves that Twin Peaks vibe... I do not want supernatural poo poo in my Riverdale.
For me, the fact that the source material includes time travel, zombies, magic, etc. is a point in its favour. You can never discount the possibility that something really weird is just around the corner.

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I guess I'm just wondering why they'd bother putting the Archie paint on this thing; just make your own show. Whatever, I guess it made me watch it, but I can't say I'm invested.
I guess because it gets people to watch it? I wouldn't have bothered if it was just advertised as some generic teen drama.

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

SHINee's back




For what it's worth, the show runner is the current CCO of Archie Comics. I don't think this was just 'let's make a teen show and slap these known characters in it'.

I mean, I could be wrong. But when I learned that dude was involved was the moment I told myself I would watch the premiere, and I'm glad I did.

Narcissus1916
Apr 29, 2013

There hasn't been a strong non-supernatural/superhero teen drama show in a very long while. Unless you dig into ABC Family, your options are still very limited.


The idea of going "And then... zombies!" concerns me.

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
I mean, Jason is a pretty obvious place to start with reanimating the dead.

Jamesman
Nov 19, 2004

"First off, let me start by saying curly light blond hair does not suit Hyomin at all. Furthermore,"
Fun Shoe

Rhyno posted:

I mean, Jason is a pretty obvious place to start with reanimating the dead.

Forget zombies. Go even weirder with it and have Jason come back from the dead by having Archie give birth to him.

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Jamesman posted:

Forget zombies. Go even weirder with it and have Jason come back from the dead by having Archie give birth to him.







...







no thank you.

Jamesman
Nov 19, 2004

"First off, let me start by saying curly light blond hair does not suit Hyomin at all. Furthermore,"
Fun Shoe

Rhyno posted:

...







no thank you.

I see how it is. David Lynch is OK but homages to David Lynch is where you draw the line. :colbert:

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



Will we ever see Jughead eating pie and coffee in Pop's?

The Narrator
Aug 11, 2011

bernie would have won
Forget pie, I need to see a plate with a mound of burgers on it, followed up by a segment in which Jughead has to make 50 bucks so he can pay off his tab at Pop Tate's.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Will we ever see Jughead eating pie and coffee in Pop's?

How about a hamburger? He mentioned working things out with Archie over a ton of hamburgers back at the end of the second episode but still no hamburgers.

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



Really? Nobody got that

Spergatory
Oct 28, 2012
Oh God, Polly is somewhere even worse than a mental hospital; they sent her to a Catholic School. :gonk:

EDIT: Christ, these people are monstrous. This is somehow more unsettling than actual horror shows because this seems like something a control-freak patent could and would actually do to their daughter.

Spergatory fucked around with this message at 03:33 on Mar 3, 2017

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Spergatory posted:

Oh God, Polly is somewhere even worse than a mental hospital; they sent her to a Catholic School. :gonk:

EDIT: Christ, these people are monstrous. This is somehow more unsettling than actual horror shows because this seems like something a control-freak patent could and would actually do to their daughter.

Rich families did this poo poo, and worse, to their 'unruly' daughters all the time back in the day.

Spergatory
Oct 28, 2012
Parents are the worst. At this point, I want all the kids to run away and live in a van solving mysteries. Vegas can come too. Not Hot Dog, though. They only need one dog. :shittydog:

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
lol the CoverGirl label coming sharply into focus.

Spergatory
Oct 28, 2012
"I was born alone, I'll die alone. I'll sing alone." :)

Jesus Christ, Archie. That's a little morbid. :stare:

EDIT: Man, everybody's kissing everybody this episode. I just--

HEY. NO. YOU LEAVE JUGHEAD ALONE. :argh:

Spergatory fucked around with this message at 04:01 on Mar 3, 2017

cant cook creole bream
Aug 15, 2011
I think Fahrenheit is better for weather
Jossie's family (her included) is also awful.

"So you are just another gentrification sellout?"
*Stands up and leaves a few seconds before his daughter finishes her song, just to make a point.*

"Take a woman of color. We have a brand to uphold."
"In fact I'd like to give you the contract... I'd like to but I can't."

Is the idea of this show simply that the entire older generation sucks? At least Mr. Andrews is kinda nice. He's only trying to do what's right and give his son a good life, while he gets seduced by his high school lover. Edit: Patricks dad is cool too.

Also it feels more and more like this is two separate shows. Did Betty and Jughead even interact with Archie in this episode? They shared a table, but I think that's it.

cant cook creole bream fucked around with this message at 09:40 on Mar 3, 2017

MiddleOne
Feb 17, 2011

cant cook creole bream posted:

Also it feels more and more like this is two separate shows. Did Betty and Jughead even interact with Archie in this episode? They shared a table, but I think that's it.

They're definately struggling to connect the plot to the teenage drama b-plots.

Narcissus1916
Apr 29, 2013

MiddleOne posted:

They're definately struggling to connect the plot to the teenage drama b-plots.

Which is a problem, but not a huge PROBLEM. I feel like that's the one missing ingredient, and I'm still enjoying the hell out of this even with the tonal mismatch that pops up.

Spergatory
Oct 28, 2012
I really think that whoever said Archie remains blissfully unaware of the A plot until the others wind up somehow saving him from it might be dead on.

Test Pattern
Dec 20, 2007

Keep scrolling, clod!

Spergatory posted:

I really think that whoever said Archie remains blissfully unaware of the A plot until the others wind up somehow saving him from it might be dead on.

Episode 13: "Pitfalls"
Betty and Jughead make their way through the perilous labyrinth beneath Thornhill; Archie struggles with a song about how stressful it is to balance football, music, and girls.

Spergatory
Oct 28, 2012
Also: shout out to the fact that Jughead just so happened to start smooching Betty in the same episode where Betty gave him a bunch of free food.

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



So, is Jughead, like, living in the school newspaper room?

Edmund Lava
Sep 8, 2004

Hey, I'm from Brooklyn. I'm going to call myself Mr. Friendly.

Spergatory posted:

Also: shout out to the fact that Jughead just so happened to start smooching Betty in the same episode where Betty gave him a bunch of free food.

Between this and Jughead's interrogation by eating the scout's ice cream I feel they really nailed his character.

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



Like holy poo poo, is Fred Andrews the only non-horrible parent on this show?

(Well, also Sheriff Keller I guess)

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Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007

Witchfinder General

I want Luke Perry to be my dad.

edit:

Holy poo poo Betty's parents are comic book evil. What the gently caress.

Hollismason fucked around with this message at 22:35 on Mar 3, 2017

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