i am writing the next great american novel

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > i am writing the next great american novel

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Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

but my wife wont get off my back!

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:33

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# ? May 17, 2024 14:56

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

and when she sits around the house she sits AROUND the house lol

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:33

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

Is it more difficult to carry your wife or the typewriter to the coffee shop?

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:35

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

my wife cant leave the house both legally and physically

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:36

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

I hope you're smoking both a symbolic and literal pipe while you write

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:37

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

i switch between pipe and chewing an AUTHENTIC cuban cigar :clint:

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:38

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Is it about me / my posting?

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:38

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

you have a slight influence on the character " The impotent mail man"

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:39

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

most of your influence is in his weiner :smug:

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:40

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

OP there are no more "american" novels, we are part of the soviet union now. Will this be reflected in your novel? Will Trump be accurately depicted as Putin's little orange catamite?

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:42

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

this is a rugged tale about a humble garbage man that takes the nation by their heart and souls and never lets go he is sort of ghangis khan meets the segergant in hogan's heroes.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:45

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

I'm writing a book op, I've got 257 pages right now, should end up being right around 300, so I'm almost done.

I thought it would be easy to write a book, turns out it is really hard and my book sucks rear end! Figure I may as well finish it as this point though.

Thanks for listening and god bless

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:49

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

im writing things i need at kroger

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:50

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

Cn the garbage man wear a leotard and be really beefy?

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:52

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

a friend of mines mother always buys tp when she goes to the grocery because she once had three girls in a house hold so they always needed it but now all but one has flown the coup and she has a literal closet full of TP she just forgets everytime!

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:53

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

Enfield posted:

im writing things i need at kroger

How many pages?

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:53

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

garbage man protagonist ( MAIN CHARACETR) wears a onesie thats three sizes too big but he does love beef stew! :pseudo:

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:53

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

btw that "friend" Is actually the garbage man's love interest in the book the reluctdant cashier, i like to build realistic characters

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:54

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

The garbage talks to him but no one else can hear it. He solves crimes with the information he receives.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:55

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

I was writing a lengthy post about why it is unlikely that there will ever be another "great" novel on account of the declining importance of the novel in terms of impact on culture and also due to oversaturation of media preventing any one modern piece of media from dominating attention, but then i realized no one cares so stopped writing that in favour of this smaller post which describes the original, while still being too long to be something people want to read.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:55

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

thats why his onesie is so big he brings the garbage with him for clues, the police thinks he is a misfit because he tried to bring three old chinese containers to positively ID a murder suspect

# ? Feb 13, 2017 16:56

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

i'm writing a shopping list, here's what i have so far:

apples
green onions
cherry tomatoes
crackers
eggs

it is a work in progress, but what do you all think?

# ? Feb 13, 2017 17:08

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

i hate it.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 17:09

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Smash it Smash hit posted:

i hate it.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 17:09

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

OctoberBlues posted:

I'm writing a book op, I've got 257 pages right now, should end up being right around 300, so I'm almost done.

I thought it would be easy to write a book, turns out it is really hard and my book sucks rear end! Figure I may as well finish it as this point though.

Thanks for listening and god bless

What's it about

# ? Feb 13, 2017 17:12

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Smash it Smash hit posted:

a friend of mines mother always buys tp when she goes to the grocery because she once had three girls in a house hold so they always needed it but now all but one has flown the coup and she has a literal closet full of TP she just forgets everytime!

Lotta bra stuffing going on in that household.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 17:19

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

What's it about

It's about a guy who wakes up in an alley with no memories and nothing in his pockets. Sounds promising, but sucks rear end!

# ? Feb 13, 2017 17:21

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

what do you do when you have no memories and no money? you become a garbage man and get your memories from the trash :pseudo:

# ? Feb 13, 2017 17:26

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

Smash it Smash hit posted:

what do you do when you have no memories and no money? you become a garbage man and get your memories from the trash

Thats loving brilliant

# ? Feb 13, 2017 17:32

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

this story's bout mah uncle terry, and you aint gonna like it

# ? Feb 13, 2017 17:41

autoaim.cfg: Aug 6, 2005; WHINY SHITHEAD
*drops mic*

Smash it Smash hit posted:

but my wife wont get off my back!

That's never stopped us proud Finns.

Finn up, man!

# ? Feb 13, 2017 19:21

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

That guy with the accordion wasn't invited but just try to stop him

# ? Feb 13, 2017 19:22

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

...and the pitch! posted:

That guy with the accordion wasn't invited but just try to stop him

gently caress you, that man can marry and carry an accordion if he wants to!

# ? Feb 13, 2017 19:26

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

gbs please focus on my great american novel, who will play my lead in the made for tv movie?

please dont troll or poo poo post, we need to be a flag ship for the forums guys

please stay on topic.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 19:29

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Smash it Smash hit posted:

gbs please focus on my great american novel, who will play my lead in the made for tv movie?

please dont troll or poo poo post, we need to be a flag ship for the forums guys

please stay on topic.

I see it more as an animated movie

# ? Feb 13, 2017 19:31

autoaim.cfg: Aug 6, 2005; WHINY SHITHEAD
*drops mic*

Smash it Smash hit posted:

gbs please focus on my great american novel, who will play my lead in the made for tv movie?

William Katt of course.

I mean, he's already been in The Greatest American Hero.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 19:31

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

I see it more as an animated movie

now you are talking, we can really jump on this whole "anime" bandwagon smart move

# ? Feb 13, 2017 19:32

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

I was thinking maybe tony danza could play the lead?

# ? Feb 13, 2017 19:33

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

Smash it Smash hit posted:

now you are talking, we can really jump on this whole "anime" bandwagon smart move

anime??

for a great AMERICAN novel???

that will not be a smash hit Smash it Smash hit, so smash it

# ? Feb 13, 2017 19:34

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# ? May 17, 2024 14:56

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

OctoberBlues posted:

I was thinking maybe tony danza could play the lead?

Tony Danza would be perfect as long as the protagonist is named Tony.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 19:36

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > i am writing the next great american novel

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