tbh it's pretty hosed up that crabs are just giant sea spiders with armor p

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BIRDCON 2017

lating. big rear end ugly ocean bugs with murder scissors for hands, and we're supposed to pretend that's okay.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:08

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 06:11

death sext

I do my part by eating them, op. what about you?

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:09

Android Blues

crab weaving a sea web, silently judging itself when the sea web dissolves into the salt, crying and looking at itself in a shiny rock for why it can't be like a spider is

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:25

Android Blues

crabs going to underwater hab protected spider restaurants and ordering "flies a la mode" which are actually just krill with little sugar paper wings stapled on and thinking its authentic

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:27

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

*mosquito larva finally growing wings* "oh hell yeah finally getting out of this wet poo poo and away from these sea spiders, its gonna be smooth sailing from here on out, no more spiders baby!"

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:41

byob historian: I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!

BIRDCON 2017 posted:

lating. big rear end ugly ocean bugs with murder scissors for hands, and we're supposed to pretend that's okay.

you forgot their vast increase of flavor, OP

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:42

Manifisto

young crab tryin to fit in at spider school, miserably failing flycatching but absolutely killing it at pincer wrestling, the pro scouts have their eye on this one

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:53

Manifisto

Manifisto posted:

young crab tryin to fit in at spider school, miserably failing flycatching but absolutely killing it at pincer wrestling, the pro scouts have their eye on this one

readin harry potter books and convincing himself he is a spider wizard

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:55

death sext

Luvcow posted:

*mosquito larva finally growing wings* "oh hell yeah finally getting out of this wet poo poo and away from these sea spiders, its gonna be smooth sailing from here on out, no more spiders baby!"

# ? Feb 15, 2017 21:58

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

king crab more like king spider amirite?

Spiderman looks more badass as a crab who scuttles around pinching crime in it's BUTT

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Feb 16, 2017 03:29

Admiral_eX_laX: Historically Inaccurate

What about a robot crab

# ? Feb 16, 2017 03:34

BIRDCON 2017

death sext posted:

I do my part by eating them, op. what about you?

eating those things seems barbaric. i am sending in wave after wave of c-123s to rain boiling water on them.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 03:46

Dads Dip Cup

look at me I am crab I walk like this hurrr durrrr

# ? Feb 16, 2017 05:58

Beachcomber: Another day in paradise.

Manifisto posted:

young crab tryin to fit in at spider school, miserably failing flycatching but absolutely killing it at pincer wrestling, the pro scouts have their eye on this one

This thrills the crab.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 06:10

BIRDCON 2017

Android Blues posted:

crab weaving a sea web, silently judging itself when the sea web dissolves into the salt, crying and looking at itself in a shiny rock for why it can't be like a spider is

# ? Feb 16, 2017 06:23

Dads Dip Cup

Crab: "I'll show them I can be part of the 'tough crowd' too" *lifts up shirt revealing small red hourglass tattoo*

the spiders begin to laugh at him and tie his shoes together with webbing

# ? Feb 16, 2017 06:28

Ultra Spoot

At least we know the deadliest catch guys and other fishermen are out there thinning the numbers of this absolute menace to humanity

# ? Feb 16, 2017 10:33

Ominous Jazz: Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

crabs are to lobsters as hamburgers are to hotdogs

# ? Feb 16, 2017 19:58

Manifisto

crabs are to spiders as m&ms are to chocolate sprinkles

# ? Feb 16, 2017 20:34

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

The word "crab" is worryingly close to the word "crap".

# ? Feb 16, 2017 22:15

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

All you can eat daddy long legs

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Feb 16, 2017 22:35

Unironic Ska Dad: Too fat to skank.

crabs are generally p happier than I am so I refrain from judgment

# ? Feb 16, 2017 23:44

Macnult

Ominous Jazz posted:

crabs are to lobsters as hamburgers are to hotdogs

# ? Feb 17, 2017 00:21

Rushi: by Smythe

we're excluding hermit crabs right? they're super cute

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# ? Feb 17, 2017 01:00

Ultra Spoot

Rushi posted:

we're excluding hermit crabs right? they're super cute

That's how they lure you in, then they swarm you and sacrifice you to satan

# ? Feb 17, 2017 01:07

Ultra Spoot

Trust me i know, in my younger days i was... *look on my face turns deadly serious*.... one of them

# ? Feb 17, 2017 01:10

BIRDCON 2017

Rushi posted:

we're excluding hermit crabs right? they're super cute

........put it in the pot.

# ? Feb 17, 2017 01:16

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Spiders have all that delicious crab flavor packed into a bite-sized nugget. Just gather yourself up a little spiderball for a traditional land crab boil. Check under porches or disused lawn furniture and boil em right up with those little corns.

# ? Feb 17, 2017 02:19

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

Jedrick posted:

The word "crab" is worryingly close to the word "crap".

try this on for size:

the word "lobster" is worryingly close to the word "mobster", and I'm frankly worried that this might not even be a facetious observation on my part.

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# ? Feb 17, 2017 02:20

Beachcomber: Another day in paradise.

Ultra Spoot posted:

Trust me i know, in my younger days i was... *look on my face turns deadly serious*.... one of them

Amazing!

I didn't think Ampharos could know Belly Drum!

# ? Feb 17, 2017 02:53

treasure bear

crabs are knight class and spiders are rogue class

# ? Feb 17, 2017 03:13

Ominous Jazz: Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

Rushi posted:

we're excluding hermit crabs right? they're super cute

Consider the following:
Hermit crabs get bigger and bigger depending on their environment. Start with something small then go to a Coke can. Then a shoe. Then keep pushing it. When you're done? Boom, Hermit House. You made a kaiju on a budget.

# ? Feb 17, 2017 03:47

Yobgoblin: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

sea bugs are cool

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# ? Feb 17, 2017 06:11

Senior Management

crabs are an inferior sub race of spiders who can't even envenom things. Lobsters are the true race and yet a sad reminder of the dark times.

:jerry:

# ? Feb 17, 2017 13:53

Senior Management

Kthulhu5000 posted:

try this on for size:

the word "lobster" is worryingly close to the word "mobster", and I'm frankly worried that this might not even be a facetious observation on my part.

This is a dangerous line of thinking friend. It can be hazardous to your health.

:jerry:

# ? Feb 17, 2017 13:54

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Ominous Jazz posted:

Consider the following:
Hermit crabs get bigger and bigger depending on their environment. Start with something small then go to a Coke can. Then a shoe. Then keep pushing it. When you're done? Boom, Hermit House. You made a kaiju on a budget.

This little feller climbed all the way to the top of a mountain to ask the one lone dweller there a question... "can I use your skull for a home?"

And that's how we get hermit crabs

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Feb 17, 2017 15:22

Manifisto

Splatmaster posted:

This little feller climbed all the way to the top of a mountain to ask the one lone dweller there a question... "can I use your skull for a home?"

And that's how we get hermit crabs

hey, it's amelia earhart! hi amelia!

# ? Feb 17, 2017 15:28

Ominous Jazz: Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

Splatmaster posted:

This little feller climbed all the way to the top of a mountain to ask the one lone dweller there a question... "can I use your skull for a home?"

And that's how we get hermit crabs

keep getting bigger skulls so it gets very big

# ? Feb 17, 2017 15:48

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

crabs molt because that "armor" is actually a prison imposed on them by a vengeful universe possibly as ironic punishment for not loving enough in a past life. I'm not sure on the details, all I know is that crabs are to be pitied for their chitinous alcatraz.

# ? Feb 17, 2017 19:17

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 06:11

bean mom

i really wish crabs wove underwater webs

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# ? Feb 18, 2017 02:44

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > tbh it's pretty hosed up that crabs are just giant sea spiders with armor p

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