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rizuhbull
Mar 30, 2011



"Threatening" seems really loaded, but what would you call this? It's certainly hostile, right? Should I tell the general manager (Zack)?

He works full time, I'm in school and work part-time. We almost never work side by side fyi. I was going to message him tonight when I know he's awake and at work to answer him "no" because I'm a cordial loving person, but he just copy and pasted his initial message again it seems. He calls in sick or asks me to work at least once a week. Typically he asks me to cover first, then calls in sick if I say no so the GM ends up asking me which I sometimes take, and sometimes tell him no too, in which case the GM works. I used to always say yes to him, but now I'm saying no because 1. I don't want to, 2. My grades started slipping, 3. And gently caress him he's a rude oval office.

I can give more context if needed but this is the gist. I already talked to the GM about him calling out so often, and he agreed, and said that the bar manager (who's ex-front desk manager and used to deal with him) said the same thing I am. The only days I've ever taken off were '16 Halloween, in which I asked for in advance. Zero sick days in 1.7 years but I'm the bad guy?

I'm extremely tempted to send my GM the pics. But what do you guys think?

e: maybe text would be a bad idea. Maybe a face to face with my boss again? It's tough because we'd need to setup a time. Ignore it and move on but have keep it in my phone for future reference?

rizuhbull fucked around with this message at 23:34 on Feb 15, 2017

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Admiral101
Feb 20, 2006
RMU: Where using the internet is like living in 1995.

rizuhbull posted:



"Threatening" seems really loaded, but what would you call this? It's certainly hostile, right? Should I tell the general manager (Zack)?

He works full time, I'm in school and work part-time. We almost never work side by side fyi. I was going to message him tonight when I know he's awake and at work to answer him "no" because I'm a cordial loving person, but he just copy and pasted his initial message again it seems. He calls in sick or asks me to work at least once a week. Typically he asks me to cover first, then calls in sick if I say no so the GM ends up asking me which I sometimes take, and sometimes tell him no too, in which case the GM works. I used to always say yes to him, but now I'm saying no because 1. I don't want to, 2. My grades started slipping, 3. And gently caress him he's a rude oval office.

I can give more context if needed but this is the gist. I already talked to the GM about him calling out so often, and he agreed, and said that the bar manager (who's ex-front desk manager and used to deal with him) said the same thing I am. The only days I've ever taken off were '16 Halloween, in which I asked for in advance. Zero sick days in 1.7 years but I'm the bad guy?

I'm extremely tempted to send my GM the pics. But what do you guys think?

e: maybe text would be a bad idea. Maybe a face to face with my boss again? It's tough because we'd need to setup a time. Ignore it and move on but have keep it in my phone for future reference?

...what are you talking about? That text is passive aggressive at most. How old are you?

edit: yes present it to your GM if you'd like him to nod understandingly while you talk with him before he rolls his eyes when you walk away. Yes, I'm sure he's rude to you at work, but I doubt your GM doesn't already realize the guy is a screwup.

rizuhbull
Mar 30, 2011

Admiral101 posted:

...what are you talking about? That text is passive aggressive at most. How old are you?

edit: yes present it to your GM if you'd like him to nod understandingly while you talk with him before he rolls his eyes when you walk away. Yes, I'm sure he's rude to you at work, but I doubt your GM doesn't already realize the guy is a screwup.

ok

Noun Verber
Oct 12, 2006

Cool party, guys.
Harden the gently caress up pussboy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unkIVvjZc9Y

Harry
Jun 13, 2003

I do solemnly swear that in the year 2015 I will theorycraft my wallet as well as my WoW
I feel pretty confident saying you need to get him before he gets you.

Thesaurus
Oct 3, 2004


In my line of work I routinely review evidence of threatening and harassing behavior in the workplace.

I don't see a threat here. Looks like an annoying, troublesome co-worker,which is not uncommon. I'm not saying don't complain, but I'd avoid making it sound more serious than it is or your manager might write you off as overreacting.

rizuhbull
Mar 30, 2011

Yeah...I cooled off and now this seems silly. I still think he's a shithead ofc.

Thesaurus posted:

In my line of work I routinely review evidence of threatening and harassing behavior in the workplace.

I don't see a threat here. Looks like an annoying, troublesome co-worker,which is not uncommon. I'm not saying don't complain, but I'd avoid making it sound more serious than it is or your manager might write you off as overreacting.
I'm just gonna hold onto it. I'm sure it'll be useful in the future. I'm wondering about something though, this guy sets the passwords for the software we use because they expire regularly. He typically leaves me a sticky note or two with the new PWs. I don't think he'd change the passwords and not leave me a note, but I guess we'll see. In that case, I'd text him asking for it and if he refuses, I'd be thrilled to go to the GM. I briefly thought about trying to bait this guy to get him to get more upset but thought better of it, I'm probably not clever enough. I'm also autistic for some more context for this dumb thread. I've never dealt with an even slightly confrontational co-worker outside of two previous fast food jobs. I've dealt with hostile people out and about, but not in this setting so it's all new and weird to me.

fantastic in plastic
Jun 15, 2007

The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.
Some forms of OCD can manifest as paranoid delusions, including a fixation on using legalistic means to punish people who've done imaginary wrongs to you. You might want to see someone.

rizuhbull
Mar 30, 2011

I may as well ask a real question since I made the thread: Should I tell my superiors I'm autistic? Not now, but how do you navigate having a hidden disability in the workplace? I don't want to scare off a interviewer, but I also don't want to intentionally hide it.

fantastic in plastic posted:

Some forms of OCD can manifest as paranoid delusions, including a fixation on using legalistic means to punish people who've done imaginary wrongs to you. You might want to see someone.
It's terminal. I'll give you my weighted blanket when I go.

Pryor on Fire
May 14, 2013

they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

Hmm I guess this is what people are talking about when they speak of sensitive baby flower millennials who can't interact with the real world. Having someone flip you off in traffic must just loving wreck you, I imagine it takes days to recover.

Thesaurus
Oct 3, 2004


Avoid trying to antagonize or "set up" your coworker. This sort of thing often backfires and you might end up in hot water too. At minimum it will just heighten tensions and make work even worse.

If you feel youe coworker is truly screwing you over in some way, bring the issue to your manager in a calm manner and let them deal with it. You want to look like the professional one, and if you try to screw with the guy you may look like a trouble maker.

rizuhbull posted:

I may as well ask a real question since I made the thread: Should I tell my superiors I'm autistic? Not now, but how do you navigate having a hidden disability in the workplace? I don't want to scare off a interviewer, but I also don't want to intentionally hide it.
It's terminal. I'll give you my weighted blanket when I go.

Do you need a certain accommodation or change in the way you do your job? If not, then it's probably not a good idea to bring it up. Assuming you are in the USA, the Americans with Disabilities Act allows you to request accommodations, within reason, to be able to do your job. It's also unlawful to take action against you BECAUSE of a disability.

However, if you don't need a change in how things are done, then coming out as disabled might cause yoir employer to view you negatively without any benefit. Hopefully not, but it happens a lot. If you were fired or something later, you'd have to be able to prove that the decision was influenced by your disability, which can be hard to do.

I say to let sleeping dogs lie unless something happens that you feel requires your employer know about your disability.

I'm not sure what kind of accommodations a person with autism might need, but potentially having things put in writing, clear expectations, etc if you have issues with missing social cues in face to face conversations.

Keep in mind that you can't have an accommodation of just not doing an essential part of your job. Eg, if you have to interact regularly with clients, it would probably be a no-go to just refuse that (unless it was so rare and marginal that it could easily be passed to another employee without burdening them greatly).

If you're in a job interview, its almost always not in your interest to mention it. Its also illegal for them to ask about a disability until they've offered you the job, and then there are restrictions.

rizuhbull
Mar 30, 2011

Thesaurus posted:

Avoid trying to antagonize or "set up" your coworker. This sort of thing often backfires and you might end up in hot water too. At minimum it will just heighten tensions and make work even worse.

If you feel youe coworker is truly screwing you over in some way, bring the issue to your manager in a calm manner and let them deal with it. You want to look like the professional one, and if you try to screw with the guy you may look like a trouble maker.


Do you need a certain accommodation or change in the way you do your job? If not, then it's probably not a good idea to bring it up. Assuming you are in the USA, the Americans with Disabilities Act allows you to request accommodations, within reason, to be able to do your job. It's also unlawful to take action against you BECAUSE of a disability.

However, if you don't need a change in how things are done, then coming out as disabled might cause yoir employer to view you negatively without any benefit. Hopefully not, but it happens a lot. If you were fired or something later, you'd have to be able to prove that the decision was influenced by your disability, which can be hard to do.

I say to let sleeping dogs lie unless something happens that you feel requires your employer know about your disability.

I'm not sure what kind of accommodations a person with autism might need, but potentially having things put in writing, clear expectations, etc if you have issues with missing social cues in face to face conversations.

Keep in mind that you can't have an accommodation of just not doing an essential part of your job. Eg, if you have to interact regularly with clients, it would probably be a no-go to just refuse that (unless it was so rare and marginal that it could easily be passed to another employee without burdening them greatly).

If you're in a job interview, its almost always not in your interest to mention it. Its also illegal for them to ask about a disability until they've offered you the job, and then there are restrictions.

Thanks

I've been thinking about looking for a new job for months. This job would be great if it wasn't for the customer service. I'm terrified I won't find something and be stuck on disability (which isn't enough to live on).

Engineer Lenk
Aug 28, 2003

Mnogo losho e!

rizuhbull posted:

I briefly thought about trying to bait this guy to get him to get more upset but thought better of it, I'm probably not clever enough. I'm also autistic for some more context for this dumb thread. I've never dealt with an even slightly confrontational co-worker outside of two previous fast food jobs. I've dealt with hostile people out and about, but not in this setting so it's all new and weird to me.

I don't think this was intended to be confrontational, just hyperbolic. It was a way to blow off some steam and try to guilt you when you weren't immediately accommodating - which is a tactic that's probably been effective in the past. Your leap to 'maybe I should bait him into something' seems like very unnecessary escalation.

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
op, did you really screw up 50 or 60 times?

adorai
Nov 2, 2002

10/27/04 Never forget
Grimey Drawer
If that is what constitutes a threat and harassment these days, the world is hosed.

rizuhbull
Mar 30, 2011

"Do you have plans this Thursday? I'm having a medical procedure done on Thursday. If you could work it would make it easier on me. But if are Busy I understand."

I can't go a week without him asking and don't even know what to think about all this or how to respond. Any advice or suggestions?

I'm thinking just a "No".

rizuhbull fucked around with this message at 10:12 on Feb 21, 2017

Engineer Lenk
Aug 28, 2003

Mnogo losho e!
Does no mean you don't have plans or you can't work?

If you want to decline politely, reply with 'sorry, can't. Good luck with your procedure.'

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Shayl
Apr 11, 2007

Just decline politely and go about your own job. He's only bringing up the medical procedure because he hopes it'll make you more likely to say yes.

If you don't want to cover for him, you don't have to. You also don't need to play his game of guilt/passive aggression because it just makes your life harder.

Be polite, but also give no fucks. Life is easier this way.

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