What do you want to do when you retire?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What do you want to do when you retire?

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

I plan on buying some acreage in the countryside. Tending to my garden. Listening to the sweet tinkle of the windchime during a sleepy summer evening while sipping a cold beer. Watching my grandchildren play in the sprinkler on the front lawn. Looking over at my wife of 40 years and just being content with life.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:20

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# ? May 6, 2024 09:22

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Go on a loving tear through the third world that ends with me getting stabbed to death in 10-15 years.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:26

ProfessorMurder: Aug 27, 2003; I can wet the bed in the shape of Abraham Lincoln

I'll sit on my porch and drink beer all day and night. One day I'll see a young boy get hit by a semi and that's when the poo poo is gonna hit the fan.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:28

TheSpamalope: Dec 30, 2008; by sebmojo; Lipstick Apathy

im gonna be real significant in the mmo scene when I'm done working.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:40

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

ProfessorMurder posted:

I'll sit on my porch and drink beer all day and night. One day I'll see a young boy get hit by a semi and that's when the poo poo is gonna hit the fan.

Pet Semetary reference??

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:42

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

I'm retired and on a small pension so I just drink a lot and go to school for now because lol at my pension sustaining a more than cat food lifestyle but if any of you are danny devito i'll play night crawlers with you

edit: i should be clear it's a small medical retirement and I'm not that old and i'm cool and hot if any curvy goonettes are reading this

CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 07:45 on Feb 16, 2017

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:43

Crash_N_Burn: Apr 19, 2014

Putter around in the ol' toolshed

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:44

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Be a motherfuckin hustla, you betta ask somebody.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:47

ProfessorMurder: Aug 27, 2003; I can wet the bed in the shape of Abraham Lincoln

Bareback Werewolf posted:

Pet Semetary reference??

Yup. I was thinking that I could see my older self sitting on the porch, drinking beer, and staring at the stars. The Pet Sematary thing just came to me after that.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:48

chumbler: Mar 28, 2010

Probably same poo poo I do now, but with no working and more sleeping and being bored.

But who are we kidding? Retirement will cease to exist before too long.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:52

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

I've always wanted to find a tropical beach in a country with a favorable exchange rate, provided I can figure out how not to be murdered for my monies. Coconuts essential.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:56

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

lol

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 16, 2017 07:59

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

op you arent american are you? lol retire :lol:

lol

# ? Feb 16, 2017 08:00

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

I'm going to die in my 50s which is why I gamble and drink to excess. Of course its possible I won't die in my 50s, in which case hoo boy am I hosed

# ? Feb 16, 2017 08:05

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

Kuato posted:

I'm going to die in my 50s which is why I gamble and drink to excess. Of course its possible I won't die in my 50s, in which case hoo boy am I hosed

i had the same gamble with my 30s and it isnt working out man so I hope you like drinking a lot more than you think

# ? Feb 16, 2017 08:05

JIZZ DENOUEMENT: Oct 3, 2012; STRIKE!

I honestly like working/being productive at my job. But it would suck to do it for 40+ hours a week when I'm old.

Find a job I could do 2-3 hours a day.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 08:06

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

Kuato posted:

I'm going to die in my 50s which is why I gamble and drink to excess. Of course its possible I won't die in my 50s, in which case hoo boy am I hosed

i'm offering lessons on painless retirement suicide

pm me for deets

# ? Feb 16, 2017 08:08

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

JIZZ DENOUEMENT posted:

I honestly like working/being productive at my job. But it would suck to do it for 40+ hours a week when I'm old.

Find a job I could do 2-3 hours a day.

Work from home.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 08:10

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

JIZZ DENOUEMENT posted:

I honestly like working/being productive at my job. But it would suck to do it for 40+ hours a week when I'm old.

Find a job I could do 2-3 hours a day.

Walmart greeter.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 08:11

Charles Bukowski: Aug 26, 2003; Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner; Grimey Drawer

Die.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 10:19

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

I plan on retiring after I win the lottery so I plan on doing 2 chicks at the same time. Hope I helped you with your homework OP.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 10:31

Drunken Baker: Feb 3, 2015; VODKA STYLE DRINK

Shitpost, I guess.

Or that Black Mirror thing and got to virtual reality world and plow all day.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 10:34

cnut: May 3, 2016

smoke trees, gently caress bitches lol

# ? Feb 16, 2017 10:35

The Dennis System: Aug 4, 2014; Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.

Play video games and j/o I guess. I'll probably have dementia or a severely injured back or something by then though.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 10:39

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

I'll be dead looooooooooooong before that, OP.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 10:42

Fredrik1: Jan 22, 2005; Gopherslayer; Fallen Rib

Like all the rest of humanity I'll be a slave prisoner working in the radio active mines on the planet Xalgor IV.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 10:52

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

Fredrik1 posted:

Like all the rest of humanity I'll be a slave prisoner working in the radio active mines on the planet Xalgor IV.

nah they'll have robots to do that

you'll just be dead

# ? Feb 16, 2017 10:56

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

where do you think the best place for sex tourism is

asking for a friend

# ? Feb 16, 2017 20:33

Sponge Baathist: Jan 30, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

I'm gonna buy a gun and take it to the welfare office

# ? Feb 16, 2017 20:37

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

I want to be like Marlins Man, traveling around the country to all of the best baseball games and sitting behind home plate.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 20:39

Xaintrailles: Aug 14, 2015

Opiates.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 20:55

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

build Piss Palace

# ? Feb 16, 2017 20:57

Krustic: Mar 28, 2010; Everything I say draws controversy. It's kinda like the abortion issue.

Yell at smartass teenagers.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 20:57

Kruxy: May 19, 2004; Just a steel town girl on
a Saturday night, looking
for the fight of her life

Subsist on store-brand crackers and water while I watch the meager savings in my 401(k) dwindle with each passing day. My final splurge purchase will be a gun and a single bullet.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 21:03

jyrque: Sep 4, 2011; Gravy Boat 2k

I'm going to decompose by the time government mandated retirement at 92 hits so I guess I'll continue stinking up the place.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 21:06

Intrinsic Field Marshal: Sep 6, 2014; by SA Support Robot

die

# ? Feb 16, 2017 21:16

Intrinsic Field Marshal: Sep 6, 2014; by SA Support Robot

Kruxy posted:

Subsist on store-brand crackers and water while I watch the meager savings in my 401(k) dwindle with each passing day. My final splurge purchase will be a gun and a single bullet.

you could always just get aload of hookers and blow then get the bullet and gun

i hope you have a TV while eating your crackers bro

# ? Feb 16, 2017 21:17

Vakal: May 11, 2008

Probably get a lot of cats. I like cats.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 21:44

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

# ? Feb 16, 2017 21:45

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# ? May 6, 2024 09:22

FreakerByTheSpeaker: Dec 3, 2006; You got your good things
And I've got mine

LOL if you think retirement will exist by the time we're old.

But that's ok, because there's about a half century's worth of farmable soil left on this ever warming planet.

But that's ok, because we'll have tainted or overused all our freshwater sources before that.

But that's ok, because it'll save us from the true horrors of the worst of climate change.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 21:51

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What do you want to do when you retire?

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