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Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
He's getting away you fools!

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Dads Dip Cup

Guard A : "h-he didn't say 'Simon says', right"

Guard B : "nope"

*staring at each other nervously*

Jedrick

:420: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.
:420:
Okay, you got this.

"Hey you, STORP!"

poo poo, stop, I mean stop!
God dammit.
Mom was right.
Fuuck.

FactsAreUseless

I should never have invaded Epilepsy Castle.

Mariana Horchata

I SERVE THE FLAMING FIST


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrZO-BvqaXA

FutonForensic

*guards bring back a juicy honeyed ham* "well, this isn't what I asked for, but I am very satisfied with your performance all the same"


Professor Shark

*Misunderstands and GRABS OP instead, looks proud of himself*

vanisher

Guards, you've lived your life fearing the commitment of a relationship too long. Guards, seize him. Hold him close. Allow yourself to love again.



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

Manifisto


. . . and then seize ME!

actually, forget about him! I need your hands on me immediately! your big strong hands . . .

Ominous Jazz

Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style
Sorry, but you still haven't solved me and my twin brother's riddle about which one of us tells nothing but truths and which one tells nothing but lies
"yes he did"
Jeremy we talked about this
"no we didn't"
he's getting away

google THIS

The guards start pelting him chunks of cheese. "No, no, I said SEIZE him!" I yell, shaking my head and wondering offhandedly who scribbled "Larson" on the ceiling.

joke_explainer


Boss, we can't induce that sort of condition in him or what not. Seizures are between him and his brain. Maybe we'll get lucky?

Senior Management



Silently I long to be siezed but in truth I am too afraid of the aftermath. If you can't do the time don't do the crime. Plus I don't think Cynthia is allowed to date the perpetrators that she apprehends.

:jerry:

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Guard: Sieze him!

Julius Ceasar: Me?

Guard Uh, no- Sir! *salutes abruptly* I said sieze HIM, not sieze HER!

Julius Ceasar: Are you mocking me? Do you make jest with me?

Guard: Uh... *sigh*

Julius Ceasar: I'm just messing with ya haha!

Guard: Whew!

Julius Ceasar *pointing at guard* SIEZE HIM!

Guard: ...

Julius Ceasar: Gotcha again! You should've seent he look on your face, I shall have it emblazoned on a coin!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

Historical Wizards


"Sir we lost him, he opened a door and loaded into another cell. We can't follow him."


Many thanks Social Vegan for the wonderful av, and Fanky Malloons for the sig

Android Blues

Ominous Jazz posted:

Sorry, but you still haven't solved me and my twin brother's riddle about which one of us tells nothing but truths and which one tells nothing but lies
"yes he did"
Jeremy we talked about this
"no we didn't"
he's getting away

Rushi

by Smythe
not many can say they escaped the galaxys most dangerous prison

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

HotSoapyBeard

I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
*Jumps onto special guards bicycle giving pursuit and is just about to catch the crook as he dashes down a staircase*
"drat I'll have to use the elevator"

HotSoapyBeard fucked around with this message at 09:53 on Feb 17, 2017

Cymbal Monkey

Lift Your Little Paws Like Antennas to Heaven!
*Seizes him*

unpleasantly turgid

u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*
Are you sure you want me to seize him? I mean, he could be allergic to me. I wouldn't want to hurt him.

I say that because I'm made of depleted uranium rods

hth, commander

The X-man cometh

Cymbal Monkey posted:

*Seizes him*

City of Glompton

*gets out tape measure and starts taking note of shoulders, neck, inseam and so on*

I think he's a 28 waist, 30 inseam, boss! that's under regulation, we'll have to throw him back.


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

City of Glompton

what? oh...sorry..I thought you said "size him"

*sheepishly exchanges measuring tape for handcuffs*


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

byob historian

I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!
Dont Let Him Get Away You Fools!!!!~~


H E I S T H E M A N O F M Y D R E A M S

Macnult

*wakes up handcuffed to a hospital bed, the latest issue of Word Up! magazine facing down on my lap*

Dads Dip Cup

"Sir! We have apprehended the target!" the guard hands over a hamster encased in a plastic roly ball.

the commander bursts into tears, cradling the ball in his arms. "Sparky!! I thought you were gone forever"

Jedrick

:420: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.
:420:
King: "What are you serving for dinner tonight cook?"

Chef: "Roasted pig with a side of acorn squash my liege."

King: "Hmm, this troubles me. The last time you prepared squash it was bland; try adding some flavor this time."

Chef: "My lord, you wound me with your words! I am the finest chef in the kingdom, hand picked to serve after years of dedication to my craft, I will not sit idly by and let you insu..."

King: "Gourds! SEASONED!"

Senior Management



We were so focused on whether or not we could seize him we never considered if we should.

:jerry:

ShinyBirdTeeth

sparkle sparkle sparkle
Oh good, we seized him just in time and those guards didn't even notice. Ohh buddy are you in for a world of trouble now that you've been seized. Just so much trouble. Like baskets of the stuff.

Uxzuigal

Chill Berserker Dude
Everyone: Guards!! Seize HIM!
Guard: Why?
Everyone: He makes terrible music!!

<3 <3 Vanisher

Manifisto


Vynar posted:

We were so focused on whether or not we could seize him we never considered if we should.

Manifisto


♫ You got to love her, tease her, hold and sieze her
Got to try na na na na
She's getting away, you fools ♬

FutonForensic

Manifisto posted:

♫ You got to love her, tease her, hold and sieze her
Got to try na na na na
She's getting away, you fools ♬


Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Two guards were passing away the time with an engaging game of knucklebones when suddenly, a voice shouted, "GUARDS, SIEZE HIM!". Looking around in confusion for the one to be apprehended and then for the one responsible for the demand to apprehend, their gaze falls upon YOU. As one they begin to rise, approaching toward you as you quickly read the next post!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

HotSoapyBeard

I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
Emperor: "Guards; SEIZE HIMM!!!"
Me: "But.. that's your son"
Emperor: "Just do it!"
*Seizes Emperor's son*
Emperor: "Haha you touched him last that means he's yours now"

byob historian

I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!
guards, hes seizing! make sure he doesnt bite his tongue

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


guards, carpe diem

Manifisto


GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

guards, carpe diem

guards, carpe carpem!

and quickly, I'm hungry

The X-man cometh
No, I didn't say sieze him and immediately let him go!

Well, you should have said sieze and hold, proper command structure is important.

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JuulPodSaveAmerica
Slips past guards, runs straight into the courtroom, bellowing "YES, I AM GUILTY *****FR*CKERS! I AM DEATH." Pauses... "And, if the court reporter is willing to read back my remarks, the Jury will please take note of the fact that I am fully *****."

Strolls out of court and back to freedom. I don't need a reason.

Five weeks later, the hung jury finally decides on a verdict. I, however, am long gone.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Feb 18, 2017

----------------
i honestly believe you are tripping right now.

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